Anonymous wrote:At what age do you recommend refusing food? (Not dessert—proteins, main courses.) My child was malnourished as an infant. Insatiable once we met her. Should I have denied my 12 month old extra chicken and pear because her siblings would not have eaten so much and my friends’ kids did not? For the record, she wouldn’t eat what was in one hand until she had something in the other hand so she could be sure there was something more.
She is currently obese. Everyone judges me for it. So I’d like the honest answer of whether I failed in denying her seconds at 9 months? 2 years? What’s the magic age at which it’s ok for her to feel insecure because she’s afraid she won’t have enough food? Seriously—I think about it every day so I’d like the experts to tell me where I screwed up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a chunky kid. She is hungry ALL THE TIME. We emphasize protein and healthy eating and yet she’s still hungry. She does sports most days after school, I don’t think she’s ever had soda or McDonalds, we walk the dog together every day.
I was super skinny as a kid and dont get it. But my MIL recently sent a bunch of pics of my husband as a kid and he was really chunky. It finally clicked that this is genetics at play.

You never saw kid pictures of your husband until now?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My one boy is a tiny stick, my other boy is average, and my girl is a bit chunky. They eat the same food. Not junk. Home cooked meals 80%. Generics.

Do they exercise the exact same amount every day in the same way? There are many variables involved not just meals.

Exercise is not as relevant as food intake. My four siblings and I were all very thin growing up. No overweight people on either side of my family. We had basic food growing up. We were White bread no “old country” recipes. None of us were all that interested in food, it was just another thing we did.

Don’t always blame the parents and feel superior on the wonderful job you’re doing.

I simply asked a question, did they exercise the same? Your nonsensical response about your siblings makes no sense in this context.

Your question is assuming exercise or lack of causes the big differences in kids weights who are in the same family. It’s more likely genetics. The mother said she cooks and they don’t live on crappy food. So if she has a chubby child and an underweight child it’s probably because they got certain genes from different family members. Don’t blame the mother and insinuate its lack of exercise.

Why don’t you just answer the question? Are you even the PP i was asking?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My one boy is a tiny stick, my other boy is average, and my girl is a bit chunky. They eat the same food. Not junk. Home cooked meals 80%. Generics.

They don't all eat the same amount of food. Clearly you see that.

+1. There is no way these kids are eating ounce for ounce the same amount of food in a day. The same amount of snacks, the same amount of seconds, same portion sizes, etc.

I’m curious about how this is supposed to play out, in your opinion. Is the parent supposed to limit portions/refuse seconds/feed different meals to the “chunky” kid? Allow snacks only for the skinny ones?

I’m envisioning a really healthy dynamic here.

We refuse seconds of dessert all the time. “Can I have another ice cream cone?” “No.” Why should it be any different with baked ziti?

So no seconds of baked ziti for anyone, or just the chunky ones? And does that go for the adults, or just kids? Guests?

I see you are seriously concerned about the obesity epidemic...

Trying to learn since some posters seem to have all the answers here….

Feeding your kids into obesity because you don’t want to be mean or “unfair” is ALREADY an unhealthy dynamic.

I feed my youngest spoonfuls of peanut butter and nutella regularly because he needs to gain weight. I don’t do this for my other children, because they don’t need several hundred extra calories over and above what they’re already getting. I don’t tell them they can’t have nutella because they’re too fat (and FTR they’re not fat), I tell them the truth, which is that their brother gets extra food because he’s too skinny. They have eyes, so the explanation makes sense.

Ok. So what happens when you make a healthy meal (let's say it's a stew with proteins and vegetables) and the chubby child wants more than the thin child. I know, I know, you would never have a fat child, but try to imagine it. They've eaten a healthy meal and they say "I'm hungry." What do you do? What if both kids say they are hungry? Do you give seconds only to the thin child?

Obviously, the correct answer is for you (mom or dad) to portion all the kids’ food away from the table, and if kid is still hungry and asking for more food you give them some cut up vegetables or an apple. Duh.

And then what happens when they are 13, 14, 15 and helping themselves to their own portions? Or you going to partrol the kitchen? Lock the frig? Kids that naturally want to eat more don’t just grow out of it. Either they gain the ability to self control their cravings or they don’t and gain weight. But your influence as a parent decreases a ton as they get older

Anonymous wrote:I have a chunky kid. She is hungry ALL THE TIME. We emphasize protein and healthy eating and yet she’s still hungry. She does sports most days after school, I don’t think she’s ever had soda or McDonalds, we walk the dog together every day.
I was super skinny as a kid and dont get it. But my MIL recently sent a bunch of pics of my husband as a kid and he was really chunky. It finally clicked that this is genetics at play.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My one boy is a tiny stick, my other boy is average, and my girl is a bit chunky. They eat the same food. Not junk. Home cooked meals 80%. Generics.

They don't all eat the same amount of food. Clearly you see that.

+1. There is no way these kids are eating ounce for ounce the same amount of food in a day. The same amount of snacks, the same amount of seconds, same portion sizes, etc.

I’m curious about how this is supposed to play out, in your opinion. Is the parent supposed to limit portions/refuse seconds/feed different meals to the “chunky” kid? Allow snacks only for the skinny ones?

I’m envisioning a really healthy dynamic here.

We refuse seconds of dessert all the time. “Can I have another ice cream cone?” “No.” Why should it be any different with baked ziti?

So no seconds of baked ziti for anyone, or just the chunky ones? And does that go for the adults, or just kids? Guests?

I see you are seriously concerned about the obesity epidemic...

Trying to learn since some posters seem to have all the answers here….

Feeding your kids into obesity because you don’t want to be mean or “unfair” is ALREADY an unhealthy dynamic.

I feed my youngest spoonfuls of peanut butter and nutella regularly because he needs to gain weight. I don’t do this for my other children, because they don’t need several hundred extra calories over and above what they’re already getting. I don’t tell them they can’t have nutella because they’re too fat (and FTR they’re not fat), I tell them the truth, which is that their brother gets extra food because he’s too skinny. They have eyes, so the explanation makes sense.

Ok. So what happens when you make a healthy meal (let's say it's a stew with proteins and vegetables) and the chubby child wants more than the thin child. I know, I know, you would never have a fat child, but try to imagine it. They've eaten a healthy meal and they say "I'm hungry." What do you do? What if both kids say they are hungry? Do you give seconds only to the thin child?

Obviously, the correct answer is for you (mom or dad) to portion all the kids’ food away from the table, and if kid is still hungry and asking for more food you give them some cut up vegetables or an apple. Duh.

Anonymous wrote:At what age do you recommend refusing food? (Not dessert—proteins, main courses.) My child was malnourished as an infant. Insatiable once we met her. Should I have denied my 12 month old extra chicken and pear because her siblings would not have eaten so much and my friends’ kids did not? For the record, she wouldn’t eat what was in one hand until she had something in the other hand so she could be sure there was something more.
She is currently obese. Everyone judges me for it. So I’d like the honest answer of whether I failed in denying her seconds at 9 months? 2 years? What’s the magic age at which it’s ok for her to feel insecure because she’s afraid she won’t have enough food? Seriously—I think about it every day so I’d like the experts to tell me where I screwed up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My one boy is a tiny stick, my other boy is average, and my girl is a bit chunky. They eat the same food. Not junk. Home cooked meals 80%. Generics.

They don't all eat the same amount of food. Clearly you see that.

+1. There is no way these kids are eating ounce for ounce the same amount of food in a day. The same amount of snacks, the same amount of seconds, same portion sizes, etc.

I’m curious about how this is supposed to play out, in your opinion. Is the parent supposed to limit portions/refuse seconds/feed different meals to the “chunky” kid? Allow snacks only for the skinny ones?

I’m envisioning a really healthy dynamic here.

We refuse seconds of dessert all the time. “Can I have another ice cream cone?” “No.” Why should it be any different with baked ziti?

So no seconds of baked ziti for anyone, or just the chunky ones? And does that go for the adults, or just kids? Guests?

I see you are seriously concerned about the obesity epidemic...

Trying to learn since some posters seem to have all the answers here….

Feeding your kids into obesity because you don’t want to be mean or “unfair” is ALREADY an unhealthy dynamic.

I feed my youngest spoonfuls of peanut butter and nutella regularly because he needs to gain weight. I don’t do this for my other children, because they don’t need several hundred extra calories over and above what they’re already getting. I don’t tell them they can’t have nutella because they’re too fat (and FTR they’re not fat), I tell them the truth, which is that their brother gets extra food because he’s too skinny. They have eyes, so the explanation makes sense.

Ok. So what happens when you make a healthy meal (let's say it's a stew with proteins and vegetables) and the chubby child wants more than the thin child. I know, I know, you would never have a fat child, but try to imagine it. They've eaten a healthy meal and they say "I'm hungry." What do you do? What if both kids say they are hungry? Do you give seconds only to the thin child?

Obviously, the correct answer is for you (mom or dad) to portion all the kids’ food away from the table, and if kid is still hungry and asking for more food you give them some cut up vegetables or an apple. Duh.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My one boy is a tiny stick, my other boy is average, and my girl is a bit chunky. They eat the same food. Not junk. Home cooked meals 80%. Generics.

They don't all eat the same amount of food. Clearly you see that.

+1. There is no way these kids are eating ounce for ounce the same amount of food in a day. The same amount of snacks, the same amount of seconds, same portion sizes, etc.

I’m curious about how this is supposed to play out, in your opinion. Is the parent supposed to limit portions/refuse seconds/feed different meals to the “chunky” kid? Allow snacks only for the skinny ones?

I’m envisioning a really healthy dynamic here.

We refuse seconds of dessert all the time. “Can I have another ice cream cone?” “No.” Why should it be any different with baked ziti?

So no seconds of baked ziti for anyone, or just the chunky ones? And does that go for the adults, or just kids? Guests?

I see you are seriously concerned about the obesity epidemic...

Trying to learn since some posters seem to have all the answers here….

Feeding your kids into obesity because you don’t want to be mean or “unfair” is ALREADY an unhealthy dynamic.

I feed my youngest spoonfuls of peanut butter and nutella regularly because he needs to gain weight. I don’t do this for my other children, because they don’t need several hundred extra calories over and above what they’re already getting. I don’t tell them they can’t have nutella because they’re too fat (and FTR they’re not fat), I tell them the truth, which is that their brother gets extra food because he’s too skinny. They have eyes, so the explanation makes sense.

Ok. So what happens when you make a healthy meal (let's say it's a stew with proteins and vegetables) and the chubby child wants more than the thin child. I know, I know, you would never have a fat child, but try to imagine it. They've eaten a healthy meal and they say "I'm hungry." What do you do? What if both kids say they are hungry? Do you give seconds only to the thin child?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My one boy is a tiny stick, my other boy is average, and my girl is a bit chunky. They eat the same food. Not junk. Home cooked meals 80%. Generics.

They don't all eat the same amount of food. Clearly you see that.

+1. There is no way these kids are eating ounce for ounce the same amount of food in a day. The same amount of snacks, the same amount of seconds, same portion sizes, etc.

I’m curious about how this is supposed to play out, in your opinion. Is the parent supposed to limit portions/refuse seconds/feed different meals to the “chunky” kid? Allow snacks only for the skinny ones?

I’m envisioning a really healthy dynamic here.

If they were all eating the same, the chunky kid wouldn’t be as chunky. That kid is eating a bigger portion of snacks and/or meals than the other kids. You e never been to a playdate where one kid is ponding the strawberries way harder than any other kid? Just give them all the same sized plate of food and when it’s gone, it’s gone. If anyone is still hungry, offer baby carrots or cucumbers.

So what’s the right message? I often hear we should tell kids to it was eat what your body needs, as long as it is nutritious food, and stop when you feel full. But I guess that is only true for thin kids. Overweight kids need to be told by a parent to stop eating and they have had “enough”

But then the teen yrs come. Parents can no longer control this this and you have a kid prone to weight gain, they will either become overweight or come to terms with how much their body wants to eat, or more than what their body actually needs- and have some control over that. But that is hard to do, which is why so many adults end up overweight when their lives get busy and they aren’t at active as they were in youth and metabolism slows.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My one boy is a tiny stick, my other boy is average, and my girl is a bit chunky. They eat the same food. Not junk. Home cooked meals 80%. Generics.

They don't all eat the same amount of food. Clearly you see that.

+1. There is no way these kids are eating ounce for ounce the same amount of food in a day. The same amount of snacks, the same amount of seconds, same portion sizes, etc.

I’m curious about how this is supposed to play out, in your opinion. Is the parent supposed to limit portions/refuse seconds/feed different meals to the “chunky” kid? Allow snacks only for the skinny ones?

I’m envisioning a really healthy dynamic here.

If they were all eating the same, the chunky kid wouldn’t be as chunky. That kid is eating a bigger portion of snacks and/or meals than the other kids. You e never been to a playdate where one kid is ponding the strawberries way harder than any other kid? Just give them all the same sized plate of food and when it’s gone, it’s gone. If anyone is still hungry, offer baby carrots or cucumbers.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My one boy is a tiny stick, my other boy is average, and my girl is a bit chunky. They eat the same food. Not junk. Home cooked meals 80%. Generics.

Do they exercise the exact same amount every day in the same way? There are many variables involved not just meals.

Exercise is not as relevant as food intake. My four siblings and I were all very thin growing up. No overweight people on either side of my family. We had basic food growing up. We were White bread no “old country” recipes. None of us were all that interested in food, it was just another thing we did.

Don’t always blame the parents and feel superior on the wonderful job you’re doing.

I simply asked a question, did they exercise the same? Your nonsensical response about your siblings makes no sense in this context.

Your question is assuming exercise or lack of causes the big differences in kids weights who are in the same family. It’s more likely genetics. The mother said she cooks and they don’t live on crappy food. So if she has a chubby child and an underweight child it’s probably because they got certain genes from different family members. Don’t blame the mother and insinuate its lack of exercise.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are so many population-level annd environmental factors at play and it’s a vicious cycle.

While the government needs to do more, there is an element of personal responsibility too. Parents used to spend more of their free time cooking but now they spend it on Insta or TikTok because the take out / packaged food is “good enough”. Only those who prioritize nutrition make the effort. Cooking and eating at home 5-6 days a week needs to be more normalized.

AND we need to look at why people who do cook at home and are health obsessed STILL have kids who are overweight due to environmental factors messing with the gut and metabolism, particularly plastics and medications.

Never seen this. This is very uncommon.

If the parents are extremists and don’t allow kids anything that kids like they can become obsessed with overeating and grab deserts, hot dogs, sugar whenever they are out of the house. And it is everywhere.