Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: He's probably 18 now (op said 'spring) so hopefully the dc and the op don't have to worry about this anymore.

If not yet it's getting closer.

Hi. OP here:

Yes, my son turned 18 a little bit ago. The hell is over.

To the nasty other PP who said I “should be fined”: you’ll be happy to know the court ultimately ordered my ex to pay MY attorneys fees for bringing a frivolous motion. We did have one hearing. The judge found that I did nothing wrong and that I made all efforts to comply with the schedule. I had to go deeper into debt to pay for a lawyer, so this was a relief. I could share more details as to how exactly this all went down, but I don’t want to be easily identified.

After all this, my son is no longer speaking to my ex. And believe it or not, even though he is now 18, I have encouraged my son to go up to his dad’s any time he wants. I’ve told him he can go spend as much time as he wants there this summer, to try and “start over” with his dad. My DS won’t do it. I sincerely hope that will change in time.

I would not wish the last 9 months on my worst enemy, like I said earlier. It didn’t have to end up this way, and I’m pissed at my ex for it.

Let my experience be a cautionary tale to those parents who don’t want to listen to their 17.5 year old’s opinions and at least TRY to work out a compromise.

Of course your son is refusing visits. You've been clear all along that you don't want him to have visits except maybe an occasional dinner or meet up so he's doing it to make you happy.

OP here:

You clearly haven’t read a single one of my posts carefully, troll.

I read your version which was you were setting this all up by finding every way in terms of excuses to sever the relationship. You taught your son friends, parties and activities are more important than dad. Dad has no value to your child. You won. There is now no relationship. Move on. Let dad move on. Leave the man alone already. Stop pretending you want them to have a relationship as if you really do, you’ve already done too much damage.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: She talks about everyone and everything being more important than dad as the reason to not have visits.

For a teenager in senior year of high school? Sports, social events, and school activities do take precedence over spending time with family, for most teenagers. At least, that is completely developmentally normal. Parents who don't realize this and refuse to change their lifestyle if they live far from their 17 year olds are setting themselves up to alienate their teen. This was not OP's doing; it was dad's refusal to be flexible and work with his teen. Fair enough - that was Dad's decision, and he has to live with the consequences of not putting his kid's perfectly normal developmental needs first.

+1. In what dual parent household is a 17.5yr old sitting at home with his parents on the weekend?

This isn't comparable to a dual-parent household and Dad has 2 weekends/4 days a month. However, it's over. The child is 18 and Mom accomplished what she wanted by severing the relationship and now playing victim to why the child doesn't want to see Dad. Child doesn't value the relationship as Mom taught him that Sports, social events, and school activities take precedence over seeing Dad. Soon she'll come on here complaining Dad will not pay for college, give her child support or extra's as why should he when they have no relationship anymore.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: She talks about everyone and everything being more important than dad as the reason to not have visits.

For a teenager in senior year of high school? Sports, social events, and school activities do take precedence over spending time with family, for most teenagers. At least, that is completely developmentally normal. Parents who don't realize this and refuse to change their lifestyle if they live far from their 17 year olds are setting themselves up to alienate their teen. This was not OP's doing; it was dad's refusal to be flexible and work with his teen. Fair enough - that was Dad's decision, and he has to live with the consequences of not putting his kid's perfectly normal developmental needs first.

+1. In what dual parent household is a 17.5yr old sitting at home with his parents on the weekend?

This isn't comparable to a dual-parent household and Dad has 2 weekends/4 days a month. However, it's over. The child is 18 and Mom accomplished what she wanted by severing the relationship and now playing victim to why the child doesn't want to see Dad. Child doesn't value the relationship as Mom taught him that Sports, social events, and school activities take precedence over seeing Dad. Soon she'll come on here complaining Dad will not pay for college, give her child support or extra's as why should he when they have no relationship anymore.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: She talks about everyone and everything being more important than dad as the reason to not have visits.

For a teenager in senior year of high school? Sports, social events, and school activities do take precedence over spending time with family, for most teenagers. At least, that is completely developmentally normal. Parents who don't realize this and refuse to change their lifestyle if they live far from their 17 year olds are setting themselves up to alienate their teen. This was not OP's doing; it was dad's refusal to be flexible and work with his teen. Fair enough - that was Dad's decision, and he has to live with the consequences of not putting his kid's perfectly normal developmental needs first.

+1. In what dual parent household is a 17.5yr old sitting at home with his parents on the weekend?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: She talks about everyone and everything being more important than dad as the reason to not have visits.

For a teenager in senior year of high school? Sports, social events, and school activities do take precedence over spending time with family, for most teenagers. At least, that is completely developmentally normal. Parents who don't realize this and refuse to change their lifestyle if they live far from their 17 year olds are setting themselves up to alienate their teen. This was not OP's doing; it was dad's refusal to be flexible and work with his teen. Fair enough - that was Dad's decision, and he has to live with the consequences of not putting his kid's perfectly normal developmental needs first.

Anonymous wrote:

No, you don't call the cops. You give him consequences. He is grounded for the week and only gets electronics for school purposes and monitor it. He stays home outside school and sports/scheduled activities. Then, you reschedule with Dad for the following weekend. Its not a discussion. Its not about contempt as reality is the court will not hold you in contempt. Its about a relationship with his father. You don't discuss or debate it. You will get in the car and have a good visit with your Dad or you are grounded for the week. No phone, no electronics, no going out outside of school and activities (or work since its summer).

You can offer long weekends, Thanksgiving, Christmas and Spring Break as alternatives too. Lots of options.

Anonymous wrote: She talks about everyone and everything being more important than dad as the reason to not have visits.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: He's probably 18 now (op said 'spring) so hopefully the dc and the op don't have to worry about this anymore.

If not yet it's getting closer.

Hi. OP here:

Yes, my son turned 18 a little bit ago. The hell is over.

To the nasty other PP who said I “should be fined”: you’ll be happy to know the court ultimately ordered my ex to pay MY attorneys fees for bringing a frivolous motion. We did have one hearing. The judge found that I did nothing wrong and that I made all efforts to comply with the schedule. I had to go deeper into debt to pay for a lawyer, so this was a relief. I could share more details as to how exactly this all went down, but I don’t want to be easily identified.

After all this, my son is no longer speaking to my ex. And believe it or not, even though he is now 18, I have encouraged my son to go up to his dad’s any time he wants. I’ve told him he can go spend as much time as he wants there this summer, to try and “start over” with his dad. My DS won’t do it. I sincerely hope that will change in time.

I would not wish the last 9 months on my worst enemy, like I said earlier. It didn’t have to end up this way, and I’m pissed at my ex for it.

Let my experience be a cautionary tale to those parents who don’t want to listen to their 17.5 year old’s opinions and at least TRY to work out a compromise.

Of course your son is refusing visits. You've been clear all along that you don't want him to have visits except maybe an occasional dinner or meet up so he's doing it to make you happy.

Nope.

not OP

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: He's probably 18 now (op said 'spring) so hopefully the dc and the op don't have to worry about this anymore.

If not yet it's getting closer.

Hi. OP here:

Yes, my son turned 18 a little bit ago. The hell is over.

To the nasty other PP who said I “should be fined”: you’ll be happy to know the court ultimately ordered my ex to pay MY attorneys fees for bringing a frivolous motion. We did have one hearing. The judge found that I did nothing wrong and that I made all efforts to comply with the schedule. I had to go deeper into debt to pay for a lawyer, so this was a relief. I could share more details as to how exactly this all went down, but I don’t want to be easily identified.

After all this, my son is no longer speaking to my ex. And believe it or not, even though he is now 18, I have encouraged my son to go up to his dad’s any time he wants. I’ve told him he can go spend as much time as he wants there this summer, to try and “start over” with his dad. My DS won’t do it. I sincerely hope that will change in time.

I would not wish the last 9 months on my worst enemy, like I said earlier. It didn’t have to end up this way, and I’m pissed at my ex for it.

Let my experience be a cautionary tale to those parents who don’t want to listen to their 17.5 year old’s opinions and at least TRY to work out a compromise.

Of course your son is refusing visits. You've been clear all along that you don't want him to have visits except maybe an occasional dinner or meet up so he's doing it to make you happy.

Anonymous wrote:Poor Dad. OP you should be fined.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, thanks for the update. I'm sorry your ex made a bunch of decisions that ended up alienating him from his son, but most of all I am glad this is over for you.

Actually she alienated them by terminating the visits and now playing victim and still blaming dad. Everything and everyone was a priority over dad per her teachings. She won. Leave the man alone.

-1 Don’t know what you are talking about.