Anonymous
05/28/2020 16:10
Subject: YouTube Influencer Myka Stauffer "rehomes" adopted son
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:https://www.instagram.com/mykastaufferfan/
Having spent my career working with kids on the spectrum, just from these clips alone he is not Level 3. I have looked at their other clips with him from when they adopted him to the most recent and I don't see him digressing either. Many kids can see fine until they are 1 or 2 and then begin a progression into more severe behaviors like losing eye contact or gaining repetitive/restrictive behaviors. Even when disciplining him he makes very good eye contact. While non verbal he can clearly communicate.
He is clearly a kid who is special needs but definitely not in the "severe" category from from all kids I have worked with. That said, THEY are not a good fit for him so it is best that he be taken away from them -- which is most likely what the professionals made happen. If you have a family unwilling to help a child (and it is a ton of work) then the one who suffers is the child. He deserves a bright future which this family was not going to provide for him.
It's good to hear a pro chime in on this. I agree that it is good that this boy is being placed elsewhere. These people never should have gotten him in the first place.
I’ve also worked in early childhood special Ed and wouldn’t make any calls based on videos. I have taught many lovey, sweet, intelligent children who also have severe, uncontrollable meltdowns. They type that injure other kids and adults and can last for hours. I’m neutral on this whole situation because there is no way to know how bad it was. Maybe they weren’t a good family for him, maybe it’s much deeper.
I am the PP you quoted and I agree with you. I am actually neutral on his meltdowns since those are the things which are unpredictable and pushes most parents to the edge. Those can't be judge by the quick clips she posts of his meltdowns. I was more speaking to a Level 3 diagnosis which they say he has. That I don't see. A level 3 isn't something that you can't see in videos. It is always there. Definitely delayed and non verbal (at this time). And his delays may never get better, that is why I said he is better off with a different family. This family is not going to give him what he needs. He needs a family which is 100% in it for him. That isn't this one.
Yikes on my double negative sentence. What I was trying to say is that level 3 kids, who are severe, always show signs of it. That isn't something that they can sometimes have the behaviors and sometimes not have the behaviors in videos. The videos of him and now I have watched many, have long clips where he is not showing any level 3 type spectrum issues. When she is talking to him he is making great eye contact. His movement are purposeful. His signs are clear and when she is speaking he isn't distracted. Well other than what a normal toddler would find distracting.
Levels for ASD don't refer to the severity of the autistic symptoms, they refer to the level of support that the individual needs, and they aren't meant as a permanent diagnosis, they are meant as a snapshot in time. In kids with comorbidities, that can be really confusing. For example, I have a friend with a child who had a neurological injury, and has CP, vision impairments, ID and ASD. Her ASD isn't "severe" but because of the combination of disabilities her support needs are very high.
Yes, I agree with you that on the video this kid has demonstrated some skills that kids who have a sole diagnosis of ASD and Level 3 support needs don't have. But he also has a diagnosis of RAD, which complicates everything, and causes behavior to be more variable.
Anonymous
05/28/2020 16:09
Subject: YouTube Influencer Myka Stauffer "rehomes" adopted son
Anonymous wrote:While I think the money making aspect is atrocious, if a child is unwanted, the upheaval of the move wil be less damaging in the long run then being raised by a family who doesn't love you or want you. Not that being abandoned won't cause issues but better to deal with those in a home with love and patience.
I use to work in child mental health with kids with serious issues and there were some kids who would have done much much better in a different home. Some parents are able to rise to the challenge and still be loving and invested parents, others are not. However when they are bio kids, there aren't a lot of choices.
It is worse for him to stay in a house where he was clearly unwanted. There is advised she shot in the fall wher her daughter is talking to her and has her hand in her mom. Huxley goes over and inserts himself in between them. The mom comments that Huxley doesn't like it when any of the other kids hug or touch her. She says he wants to be the only one. I think what they did was awful but it is so much better they did it when Huxley is still young and adorable.
Anonymous
05/28/2020 15:58
Subject: YouTube Influencer Myka Stauffer "rehomes" adopted son
Anonymous wrote:There are a lot of posters on the SN forum whose kids have violent out bursts. Not one has ever said that a professional told them to voluntarily give up parental rights and rehome a child.
That said, the child is clearly better off in a different home. Unclear if he also would have been better off just staying in foster care in China.
The whole duct tape on thumb thing in itself is so bizarre. I can’t believe any sane person would do that to any child of that age, much less one with a sensory seeking disability and one who had been recently moved to a new family in a new country. There’s just so much wrong here.
It's totally abusive and so wrong to do that! She singled Huxley out and duct taped his hands when her other 2 kids also suck their thumbs and didn't receive the same punishment. She obviously adopted him strictly for content, and when she realized it would actually require parental effort, she bailed.
Anonymous
05/28/2020 15:42
Subject: YouTube Influencer Myka Stauffer "rehomes" adopted son
Influencers should not be allowed to adopt. Their lives revolve around creating content for views, sponsors, and subscribers / followers. They are always looking for new storylines, and people stories draw viewers. Adopting a kid as content is a terrible idea and I am not surprised it went wrong so fast. They have probably maxed out the views and sponsors they can her from the adoption story line and now they would have to actually raise the child.
Personally I think all these family channels should be banned. When your livelihood and I come depends on your kids performing on camera and on being filmed as props and producst, kids lose out. They lose privacy, they lose a spontaneous life, they lose all kinds of things. People exploiting their children, their children's lives, and their children's emotions and privacy for money should be stopped.
Personally I think all these family channels should be banned. When your livelihood and I come depends on your kids performing on camera and on being filmed as props and producst, kids lose out. They lose privacy, they lose a spontaneous life, they lose all kinds of things. People exploiting their children, their children's lives, and their children's emotions and privacy for money should be stopped.
Anonymous
05/28/2020 15:34
Subject: YouTube Influencer Myka Stauffer "rehomes" adopted son
There are a lot of posters on the SN forum whose kids have violent out bursts. Not one has ever said that a professional told them to voluntarily give up parental rights and rehome a child.
That said, the child is clearly better off in a different home. Unclear if he also would have been better off just staying in foster care in China.
The whole duct tape on thumb thing in itself is so bizarre. I can’t believe any sane person would do that to any child of that age, much less one with a sensory seeking disability and one who had been recently moved to a new family in a new country. There’s just so much wrong here.
That said, the child is clearly better off in a different home. Unclear if he also would have been better off just staying in foster care in China.
The whole duct tape on thumb thing in itself is so bizarre. I can’t believe any sane person would do that to any child of that age, much less one with a sensory seeking disability and one who had been recently moved to a new family in a new country. There’s just so much wrong here.
Anonymous
05/28/2020 15:33
Subject: YouTube Influencer Myka Stauffer "rehomes" adopted son
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:https://www.instagram.com/mykastaufferfan/
Having spent my career working with kids on the spectrum, just from these clips alone he is not Level 3. I have looked at their other clips with him from when they adopted him to the most recent and I don't see him digressing either. Many kids can see fine until they are 1 or 2 and then begin a progression into more severe behaviors like losing eye contact or gaining repetitive/restrictive behaviors. Even when disciplining him he makes very good eye contact. While non verbal he can clearly communicate.
He is clearly a kid who is special needs but definitely not in the "severe" category from from all kids I have worked with. That said, THEY are not a good fit for him so it is best that he be taken away from them -- which is most likely what the professionals made happen. If you have a family unwilling to help a child (and it is a ton of work) then the one who suffers is the child. He deserves a bright future which this family was not going to provide for him.
It's good to hear a pro chime in on this. I agree that it is good that this boy is being placed elsewhere. These people never should have gotten him in the first place.
I’ve also worked in early childhood special Ed and wouldn’t make any calls based on videos. I have taught many lovey, sweet, intelligent children who also have severe, uncontrollable meltdowns. They type that injure other kids and adults and can last for hours. I’m neutral on this whole situation because there is no way to know how bad it was. Maybe they weren’t a good family for him, maybe it’s much deeper.
I am the PP you quoted and I agree with you. I am actually neutral on his meltdowns since those are the things which are unpredictable and pushes most parents to the edge. Those can't be judge by the quick clips she posts of his meltdowns. I was more speaking to a Level 3 diagnosis which they say he has. That I don't see. A level 3 isn't something that you can't see in videos. It is always there. Definitely delayed and non verbal (at this time). And his delays may never get better, that is why I said he is better off with a different family. This family is not going to give him what he needs. He needs a family which is 100% in it for him. That isn't this one.
Yikes on my double negative sentence. What I was trying to say is that level 3 kids, who are severe, always show signs of it. That isn't something that they can sometimes have the behaviors and sometimes not have the behaviors in videos. The videos of him and now I have watched many, have long clips where he is not showing any level 3 type spectrum issues. When she is talking to him he is making great eye contact. His movement are purposeful. His signs are clear and when she is speaking he isn't distracted. Well other than what a normal toddler would find distracting.
Anonymous
05/28/2020 15:25
Subject: YouTube Influencer Myka Stauffer "rehomes" adopted son
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:https://www.instagram.com/mykastaufferfan/
Having spent my career working with kids on the spectrum, just from these clips alone he is not Level 3. I have looked at their other clips with him from when they adopted him to the most recent and I don't see him digressing either. Many kids can see fine until they are 1 or 2 and then begin a progression into more severe behaviors like losing eye contact or gaining repetitive/restrictive behaviors. Even when disciplining him he makes very good eye contact. While non verbal he can clearly communicate.
He is clearly a kid who is special needs but definitely not in the "severe" category from from all kids I have worked with. That said, THEY are not a good fit for him so it is best that he be taken away from them -- which is most likely what the professionals made happen. If you have a family unwilling to help a child (and it is a ton of work) then the one who suffers is the child. He deserves a bright future which this family was not going to provide for him.
It's good to hear a pro chime in on this. I agree that it is good that this boy is being placed elsewhere. These people never should have gotten him in the first place.
I’ve also worked in early childhood special Ed and wouldn’t make any calls based on videos. I have taught many lovey, sweet, intelligent children who also have severe, uncontrollable meltdowns. They type that injure other kids and adults and can last for hours. I’m neutral on this whole situation because there is no way to know how bad it was. Maybe they weren’t a good family for him, maybe it’s much deeper.
I am the PP you quoted and I agree with you. I am actually neutral on his meltdowns since those are the things which are unpredictable and pushes most parents to the edge. Those can't be judge by the quick clips she posts of his meltdowns. I was more speaking to a Level 3 diagnosis which they say he has. That I don't see. A level 3 isn't something that you can't see in videos. It is always there. Definitely delayed and non verbal (at this time). And his delays may never get better, that is why I said he is better off with a different family. This family is not going to give him what he needs. He needs a family which is 100% in it for him. That isn't this one.
Anonymous
05/28/2020 15:22
Subject: YouTube Influencer Myka Stauffer "rehomes" adopted son
While I think the money making aspect is atrocious, if a child is unwanted, the upheaval of the move wil be less damaging in the long run then being raised by a family who doesn't love you or want you. Not that being abandoned won't cause issues but better to deal with those in a home with love and patience.
I use to work in child mental health with kids with serious issues and there were some kids who would have done much much better in a different home. Some parents are able to rise to the challenge and still be loving and invested parents, others are not. However when they are bio kids, there aren't a lot of choices.
I use to work in child mental health with kids with serious issues and there were some kids who would have done much much better in a different home. Some parents are able to rise to the challenge and still be loving and invested parents, others are not. However when they are bio kids, there aren't a lot of choices.
Anonymous
05/28/2020 15:08
Subject: Re:YouTube Influencer Myka Stauffer "rehomes" adopted son
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I just watched a few of Huxley’s videos, and I don’t think he has autism. I think he is delayed due to neglect and trauma in infancy. I think with the right therapies and loving and attentive parents, Huxley will start talking and go on to live a normal life.
He apparently had a stroke in utero, so it's possible that the resulting cognitive & physical delays were misdiagnosed as autism. That said, she alludes to aggression against the other kids in the house, which is definitely something that can happen with autism. My DS is very mildly impacted by his autism, but he has had periods of severe aggression to other kids. I can't tell you how often I've been grateful that we never had a 2nd child -- that would be extremely hard to deal with his aggression towards a baby. None of this excuses the adoptive parents, who should have considered all of this before adopting (and having another baby, wtf!)
But she is a liar and awful person. So you can't take her word for anything.
Do you know her personally? You know for a fact that she’s a “liar” and “awful person”? I don’t think you do. So why make these comments when you don’t know her or or family?
Anonymous
05/28/2020 15:03
Subject: YouTube Influencer Myka Stauffer "rehomes" adopted son
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Oh, and she has gone on to complain about what a difficult baby little Onyx is, too. I wonder if the older ones will start to worry about the baby being "rehomed".
A lot of moms complain when they have difficult babies....
A lot of moms don’t give their kids away....
He was not a baby. Most moms complain, but you don't complain on video/online where the child and your other kids and their friends and families can hear it all. Imagine what that would do to a child. This kid will go online one day and read all about this. Imagine how that will impact him after all the trauma he's had.
I’m sorry but no, he won’t go online one day and read all this. He has severe special needs and can’t even talk. He will never go and read about himself online.
Termination of parents rights - you are confusing an action that CPS takes on behalf of the state vs this couple who choose to place their child via a legal private adoption. When they do this, yes they are no longer the legal parent of the child.
He may be more there than people realize.
Ehhh, I don’t think so unfortunately. Never heard him talk in any videos on YouTube or IG. He’s four but seems to have the mindset of a 1 year old. I just don’t ever see him being a “normal kid”.
I know several kids including mine who did not talk till after four.
Did they have strokes in the womb and neuro specialists looking at their brain scans advising they would never take this on themselves and that issues would likely be lifelong? Because this child had that. Doesn't justify the parent's actions, but when you have specialists looking at neurological activity and saying, "I wouldn't..." that doesn't bode well normally.
What doctor is going to blab out to the parent of a child that they should give the child away rather than treat the child? It's not even a believable statement, it sounds like an excuse to support their choice to giving him away.
Not giving away a child, but that this was well known prior to adoption and the adoptive parents accepted this risk, against medical advice. And here they are...
They are giving him away. What else do you want to call it? You want to make it sound nice... we're putting him up for adoption? They aren't even doing a legal adoption.
How do you know that? I thought I heard that they used their adoption agency for the placement in the new home, which almost certainly means that it is a legal adoption.
that's not how termination of parental rights works. you can't just voluntarily sign your kid over to another family. the courts have to be involved.
Right, of course the courts would be involved, but an adoption agency is going to insist on that, and facilitate that, if they are involved in the placement. There is no way that an agency that wants to stay in business, and stay Hague accredited, is going to do a mixture of legal adoptions, and shady "rehomings".
Anonymous
05/28/2020 14:59
Subject: Re:YouTube Influencer Myka Stauffer "rehomes" adopted son
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I just watched a few of Huxley’s videos, and I don’t think he has autism. I think he is delayed due to neglect and trauma in infancy. I think with the right therapies and loving and attentive parents, Huxley will start talking and go on to live a normal life.
He apparently had a stroke in utero, so it's possible that the resulting cognitive & physical delays were misdiagnosed as autism. That said, she alludes to aggression against the other kids in the house, which is definitely something that can happen with autism. My DS is very mildly impacted by his autism, but he has had periods of severe aggression to other kids. I can't tell you how often I've been grateful that we never had a 2nd child -- that would be extremely hard to deal with his aggression towards a baby. None of this excuses the adoptive parents, who should have considered all of this before adopting (and having another baby, wtf!)
But she is a liar and awful person. So you can't take her word for anything.
Anonymous
05/28/2020 14:57
Subject: YouTube Influencer Myka Stauffer "rehomes" adopted son
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Oh, and she has gone on to complain about what a difficult baby little Onyx is, too. I wonder if the older ones will start to worry about the baby being "rehomed".
A lot of moms complain when they have difficult babies....
A lot of moms don’t give their kids away....
He was not a baby. Most moms complain, but you don't complain on video/online where the child and your other kids and their friends and families can hear it all. Imagine what that would do to a child. This kid will go online one day and read all about this. Imagine how that will impact him after all the trauma he's had.
I’m sorry but no, he won’t go online one day and read all this. He has severe special needs and can’t even talk. He will never go and read about himself online.
Termination of parents rights - you are confusing an action that CPS takes on behalf of the state vs this couple who choose to place their child via a legal private adoption. When they do this, yes they are no longer the legal parent of the child.
He may be more there than people realize.
Ehhh, I don’t think so unfortunately. Never heard him talk in any videos on YouTube or IG. He’s four but seems to have the mindset of a 1 year old. I just don’t ever see him being a “normal kid”.
I know several kids including mine who did not talk till after four.
Did they have strokes in the womb and neuro specialists looking at their brain scans advising they would never take this on themselves and that issues would likely be lifelong? Because this child had that. Doesn't justify the parent's actions, but when you have specialists looking at neurological activity and saying, "I wouldn't..." that doesn't bode well normally.
What doctor is going to blab out to the parent of a child that they should give the child away rather than treat the child? It's not even a believable statement, it sounds like an excuse to support their choice to giving him away.
Not giving away a child, but that this was well known prior to adoption and the adoptive parents accepted this risk, against medical advice. And here they are...
They are giving him away. What else do you want to call it? You want to make it sound nice... we're putting him up for adoption? They aren't even doing a legal adoption.
How do you know that? I thought I heard that they used their adoption agency for the placement in the new home, which almost certainly means that it is a legal adoption.
that's not how termination of parental rights works. you can't just voluntarily sign your kid over to another family. the courts have to be involved.
Anonymous
05/28/2020 14:45
Subject: Re:YouTube Influencer Myka Stauffer "rehomes" adopted son
The Stauffer’s relinquished custody of Huxley. How is it that videos of Huxley are still allowed to stay on their channel; putting more money in the pockets of this family.
Anonymous
05/28/2020 14:41
Subject: Re:YouTube Influencer Myka Stauffer "rehomes" adopted son
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I just watched a few of Huxley’s videos, and I don’t think he has autism. I think he is delayed due to neglect and trauma in infancy. I think with the right therapies and loving and attentive parents, Huxley will start talking and go on to live a normal life.
He apparently had a stroke in utero, so it's possible that the resulting cognitive & physical delays were misdiagnosed as autism. That said, she alludes to aggression against the other kids in the house, which is definitely something that can happen with autism. My DS is very mildly impacted by his autism, but he has had periods of severe aggression to other kids. I can't tell you how often I've been grateful that we never had a 2nd child -- that would be extremely hard to deal with his aggression towards a baby. None of this excuses the adoptive parents, who should have considered all of this before adopting (and having another baby, wtf!)
I never saw the bio kids really interact with Huxley. It was like he was the odd man out. And if Huxley was truly aggressive I believe she would have posted videos to fit the narrative as to why Huxley needed to be placed in foster care.
Anonymous
05/28/2020 14:29
Subject: YouTube Influencer Myka Stauffer "rehomes" adopted son
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:https://www.instagram.com/mykastaufferfan/
Having spent my career working with kids on the spectrum, just from these clips alone he is not Level 3. I have looked at their other clips with him from when they adopted him to the most recent and I don't see him digressing either. Many kids can see fine until they are 1 or 2 and then begin a progression into more severe behaviors like losing eye contact or gaining repetitive/restrictive behaviors. Even when disciplining him he makes very good eye contact. While non verbal he can clearly communicate.
He is clearly a kid who is special needs but definitely not in the "severe" category from from all kids I have worked with. That said, THEY are not a good fit for him so it is best that he be taken away from them -- which is most likely what the professionals made happen. If you have a family unwilling to help a child (and it is a ton of work) then the one who suffers is the child. He deserves a bright future which this family was not going to provide for him.
It's good to hear a pro chime in on this. I agree that it is good that this boy is being placed elsewhere. These people never should have gotten him in the first place.
I’ve also worked in early childhood special Ed and wouldn’t make any calls based on videos. I have taught many lovey, sweet, intelligent children who also have severe, uncontrollable meltdowns. They type that injure other kids and adults and can last for hours. I’m neutral on this whole situation because there is no way to know how bad it was. Maybe they weren’t a good family for him, maybe it’s much deeper.
I posted above, not the post that's quoted here, but I'm also a former early childhood special ed teacher. I now teach older kids. Yes, there are absolutely kids who can look one way one minute and completely different in other circumstances.
If they went through the process, and legally placed the child in an adoptive home, then I am not going to judge that. I've taught kids who had disrupted adoptions, and ended up in better placements, so I hope that is what will happen here.
On the other hand, there are other choices, like the choice to duct tape his hand, and the choice to plaster his image on the internet, or to talk about his struggles publicly, that I do 100% judge.