Anonymous wrote:Why are some people so obsessed with redshirting anyway?

They don’t think their kids are smart enough to do well with other kids their age.

Anonymous wrote:Why are some people so obsessed with redshirting anyway?

On DCUM, it's largely a few obsessed and very weird anti-redshirt posters who come across as seriously disturbed. (I didn't redshirt.)

What they don't seem to have the capacity to grasp is that their singular obsession with redshirting makes many of us normal parents much more inclined to support it. Every parent I've known who redshirted thought long and hard about it. I've actually become very supportive of even wider ranges and greater flexibility in ages after reading DCUM for years. The DCUM anti-redshirt people are so hysterical, so over the top, and so blind to their own glaring issues that it's hard to take them seriously and I distrust them.

Why are some people so obsessed with redshirting anyway?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My real reason is the same reason I said out loud to anyone who asked at the time. It's not like I secretly thought one thing and did another. My kid's preK teacher recommended it for social reasons. My DS was in intensive speech therapy and was having trouble making himself understood by peers and that affected his ability to make friends. My teacher friends told me that since he could already read I was doing him a disservice by having him in his nature/play-based preK another year. They were wrong. It was amazing for building his confidence and now, seeing how academic and sedentary public school is? I am thrilled I was able to give him another year of wild fun and play and social/emotional learning. Not happening in public school!

Does it make you proud that he's outperforming kids a year younger than him?

I am proud of him, but that’s not what you’re asking. I suppose I was probably too proud of his “maturity” in elementary school- he was being praised for listening/sitting still etc when his peers were so much younger than him. You’re right- that wasn’t great of me. In terms of his academics, he has been very successful- 99% from day one and accepted to all of the magnet stuff in our school district. But the older he’s gotten the more I realize it has nothing to do with me and my being proud of him has to do with whether he is being kind and not a d*ck to his peers- which he is. The academic success he’s had is I guess related to how he’s older, but it’s also just him - he’s truly gifted. If I’d held his sister back, for example, she would have done well but not like him. I am still glad I held him back because now he has friends. He’s a classic “nerd” and needed the extra boost of being a little taller than the other kids (at Rec bball- don’t worry he’s not taking anyone’s sports spots!). But now he’s in HS and there are plenty of kids who are just as big as him, and in his magnet program, plenty of kids who give him a run for his intellectual money. In the end, I am happy I did what was right for my kid. I’m sorry if you or other people are angry that he took a spot somewhere you wanted for your kid, but isn’t that life? My DS is going to get the short end of the stick in other areas of his life- he has a chronic illness for example that causes him daily pain and regular injections- but your anger at redshirting - then or now- wouldn’t make me make a different decision. Be happy for you kiddo- where they are! They are amazing and you are a good parent looking out for them, too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really redshirted my child because I liked having him home with me, and once he went to school, I knew that I would never get that again.

I am not sure that I was thinking long term, but that is the real reason.

Does it make you proud that he's outperforming kids a year younger than him?

Not PP - but who are you and what is your issue? We held our daughter back - and she is NOT outperforming kids younger than her. Age doesn't correlate absolutely with performance. As another PP said - I am proud of her when she tries her best.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really redshirted my child because I liked having him home with me, and once he went to school, I knew that I would never get that again.

I am not sure that I was thinking long term, but that is the real reason.

Does it make you proud that he's outperforming kids a year younger than him?

I am going to guess that you only have one child, or that all of your children have similar intellectual capabilities.

I am proud of him and of all of my children whenever they do their best and are kind to people around them.

Anonymous wrote:My real reason is the same reason I said out loud to anyone who asked at the time. It's not like I secretly thought one thing and did another. My kid's preK teacher recommended it for social reasons. My DS was in intensive speech therapy and was having trouble making himself understood by peers and that affected his ability to make friends. My teacher friends told me that since he could already read I was doing him a disservice by having him in his nature/play-based preK another year. They were wrong. It was amazing for building his confidence and now, seeing how academic and sedentary public school is? I am thrilled I was able to give him another year of wild fun and play and social/emotional learning. Not happening in public school!

Does it make you proud that he's outperforming kids a year younger than him?

Anonymous wrote:I really redshirted my child because I liked having him home with me, and once he went to school, I knew that I would never get that again.

I am not sure that I was thinking long term, but that is the real reason.

Does it make you proud that he's outperforming kids a year younger than him?

My real reason is the same reason I said out loud to anyone who asked at the time. It's not like I secretly thought one thing and did another. My kid's preK teacher recommended it for social reasons. My DS was in intensive speech therapy and was having trouble making himself understood by peers and that affected his ability to make friends. My teacher friends told me that since he could already read I was doing him a disservice by having him in his nature/play-based preK another year. They were wrong. It was amazing for building his confidence and now, seeing how academic and sedentary public school is? I am thrilled I was able to give him another year of wild fun and play and social/emotional learning. Not happening in public school!

I really redshirted my child because I liked having him home with me, and once he went to school, I knew that I would never get that again.

I am not sure that I was thinking long term, but that is the real reason.

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Anonymous wrote: I am convinced that she’s annoyed her kid is “behind” some older classmate and she can’t get beyond it.

What's annoying is when the older kids are rewarded for outperforming the younger kids. Why should someone be rewarded for an accomplishment that was inevitable?

I don't think much about redshirting but I will admit the above bothers me. There is a girl who is a full year older than my daughter (they have the exact same birthday in April but one year apart), and it's kind of annoying hearing the teacher say how good the other girl is at something (and my daughter is above grade level in everything). I'm like, of course she is! There is ZERO reason she should be in this grade right now!

So the child should be punished, shunned, and ignored because of a few months age difference? If you're so confident your daughter is above in everything why do you care if another kid gets tossed a few crumbs now and again. Your post reeks of insecurity.

I have no skin in the game but goodness this is an unwarranted escalation. And PP does not reek of insecurity at all.

An adult is annoyed that a teacher gave a kid that isn't hers a compliment and that's normal? How does she know there is ZERO reason a kid is in the same grade as her special snowflake? People need to learn to mind their own business. I doubt the daughter is as put out at as the parent that the teacher praised some other kid in class.

To your first question, compliments are really only warranted when someone achieves more than what's expected of them. Please explain to me what's so surprising about a child outperforming a child a year younger than them.

To your second question, the PP knows that this girl shouldn't be in her daughter's grade because she has clearly shown that she's too advanced for the work that is designed for kids a year younger than her. I know, what a shock, right?

The story doesn’t make a lot of sense. In what situation would a teacher be paying loads of compliments to another child in front of other parents? Maybe the kid has low self esteem and needs a boost? Why assume the worse of this is actually true?

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I am convinced that she’s annoyed her kid is “behind” some older classmate and she can’t get beyond it.

What's annoying is when the older kids are rewarded for outperforming the younger kids. Why should someone be rewarded for an accomplishment that was inevitable?

I don't think much about redshirting but I will admit the above bothers me. There is a girl who is a full year older than my daughter (they have the exact same birthday in April but one year apart), and it's kind of annoying hearing the teacher say how good the other girl is at something (and my daughter is above grade level in everything). I'm like, of course she is! There is ZERO reason she should be in this grade right now!

So the child should be punished, shunned, and ignored because of a few months age difference? If you're so confident your daughter is above in everything why do you care if another kid gets tossed a few crumbs now and again. Your post reeks of insecurity.

I have no skin in the game but goodness this is an unwarranted escalation. And PP does not reek of insecurity at all.

An adult is annoyed that a teacher gave a kid that isn't hers a compliment and that's normal? How does she know there is ZERO reason a kid is in the same grade as her special snowflake? People need to learn to mind their own business. I doubt the daughter is as put out at as the parent that the teacher praised some other kid in class.

To your first question, compliments are really only warranted when someone achieves more than what's expected of them. Please explain to me what's so surprising about a child outperforming a child a year younger than them.

To your second question, the PP knows that this girl shouldn't be in her daughter's grade because she has clearly shown that she's too advanced for the work that is designed for kids a year younger than her. I know, what a shock, right?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I am convinced that she’s annoyed her kid is “behind” some older classmate and she can’t get beyond it.

What's annoying is when the older kids are rewarded for outperforming the younger kids. Why should someone be rewarded for an accomplishment that was inevitable?

I don't think much about redshirting but I will admit the above bothers me. There is a girl who is a full year older than my daughter (they have the exact same birthday in April but one year apart), and it's kind of annoying hearing the teacher say how good the other girl is at something (and my daughter is above grade level in everything). I'm like, of course she is! There is ZERO reason she should be in this grade right now!

So the child should be punished, shunned, and ignored because of a few months age difference? If you're so confident your daughter is above in everything why do you care if another kid gets tossed a few crumbs now and again. Your post reeks of insecurity.

A child doing work designed for younger children is naturally going to excel at that work. Since this girl is a year older than her classmates, there's nothing impressive about the fact that she's outperforming them, so the teacher shouldn't act like it's impressive.

Since the PP's daughter is in her age-appropriate grade, everything she's achieved is because of talent and hard work. Therefore, the PP has every right to feel proud of her daughter.

Anonymous wrote: He has zipped ahead in some areas academically

Wow, a kid who's older than his grade level is performing above his grade level? What a shock. I bet it just fills you with pride that he's outperforming kids as much as 16 months younger than him.

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Anonymous wrote: I am convinced that she’s annoyed her kid is “behind” some older classmate and she can’t get beyond it.

What's annoying is when the older kids are rewarded for outperforming the younger kids. Why should someone be rewarded for an accomplishment that was inevitable?

Older kids don't always outperform younger kids. My older kid is near the bottom of her class. Some of the younger ones are the stars.

Yes, but kids who are redshirted are always going to do better than they would in their age-appropriate grade.

My kid who was held back is not doing better. But thanks for playing

But he's doing better than he would be had you started him on time.

Nice try but no. Needs more challenge.