Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ and the requests were coming from multiple places: PTA, after school, party fund etc etc. And on a more personal note the room parent tended to get all the benefit of giving the gifts/ parties she used the class money for. Not to mention $135 for pizza pretty pricey.

$135 is insane for pizza. You don't have to give to the PTA. We opt out of the PTA activities after doing them and not seeing the value. I get no benefit except making the kids happy and often I end up supplementing as people don't send in their sign up genius items and often end up paying for the majority of the party.

I would rather give money to the PTA who will use it for enrichment activities than to a couple of 2 hour parties. I think the parties are great and don't even have a problem with pizza but, come on, some people have priorities very confused.

Anonymous wrote:I think most of you have never been a room parent. It is a thankless job. One year, I got drafted by the teacher because no one would volunteer to do it.

It is very frustrating to ask for food, material or financial donations and have half the parents ignore you. This refers to schools with middle to upper middle class populations, NOT to Title I schools or to parents that can’t afford to contribute. They ignore because they can-the party will carry on, either scaled back or funded by the room mom. It’s not right.

Anonymous wrote:I think most of you have never been a room parent. It is a thankless job. One year, I got drafted by the teacher because no one would volunteer to do it.

It is very frustrating to ask for food, material or financial donations and have half the parents ignore you. This refers to schools with middle to upper middle class populations, NOT to Title I schools or to parents that can’t afford to contribute. They ignore because they can-the party will carry on, either scaled back or funded by the room mom. It’s not right.

I’m amazed at all the comments advocating for no parties. Childhood is about joy...there’s nothing wrong with celebrating life or celebrating holidays.

Op, if pizza is the expectation at your school, scale it back to Costco pizza and mini cupcakes. One dollar store craft, one game. Dollar store tablecloth, one or two balloons.

Unfortunately, you’ll probably have to kick in some money this year as a result of spending more than your budget. But it’s a lesson learned that will carry over if you are ever silly enough to volunteer again

Everyone is giving this woman a hard time and I think her heart is in the right place. Unfortunately, not everyone values the same things for their kids I guess..

Anonymous wrote:Our expenses are a lot lower. We don't do pizza parties to start with.

I don't think anyone would mind having less parties.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ and the requests were coming from multiple places: PTA, after school, party fund etc etc. And on a more personal note the room parent tended to get all the benefit of giving the gifts/ parties she used the class money for. Not to mention $135 for pizza pretty pricey.

$135 is insane for pizza. You don't have to give to the PTA. We opt out of the PTA activities after doing them and not seeing the value. I get no benefit except making the kids happy and often I end up supplementing as people don't send in their sign up genius items and often end up paying for the majority of the party.

Anonymous wrote:We only collect 10$ per family in my MCPS elementary school (fairly affluent). That's supposed to cover food/activities for 3 parties (Halloween, Valentine's Day and end of year) plus a teacher holiday gift and an end of the year gift. In practice, parents provide most of the food, we use the room parent funds for the gift cards and the room parents pay for the crafts so we don't need to bother people about more $ needed. So for room parents you need to be willing to shell out more dough. I suggested at one point that we increase it to 20$ per family since our school is fairly affluent, but other more experienced room parents said there was so much whining that it wasn't worth the hassle so they leave it at 10$ and supplement out of their own pocket.

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Anonymous wrote:I was often the room parent when my kids were in lower grades and I used to send out emails at the beginning of the year detailing what activities, parties, food, teacher's gift we would have for the entire year. I met with the teacher to draw out the plans (usually duplicating what was done in the previous years), and send an email and a signup genius link to all parents. An email was sent every week for the first 6 weeks, listing the names of all the people who had contributed. Within the first couple of weeks, all parents used to sent in their fixed $ contribution. We usually had a set number of celebrations, some activities and holiday teacher's gift. We relied on some parents to make a costco run for the parties.

I did not want to run after people to get money from them, so I made sure that all the funds were collected during the first few weeks of school. I sent emails every week for the first few weeks listing the names of people who contributed and those who still had to. It was easy to write the reminder emails at the beginning of the year.

OP, being a room parent is a responsibility not a popularity contest. You need to be blunt and make sure that everyone contributes at least a minimum agreed upon amount. If people want to contribute more it is up to them, but the fixed amount contribution is mandatory.

Wow, this is really shitting. You called out the people who didn't contribute? You're pretty rude to even gripe about it behind their backs, but you are an awful person for shaming them in a group email.

- a room mom

Agreed. It is terrible to keep track and call out people like that.
Our teacher gave us room parents a form letter for the class donation which we adapted. In it she asked us to keep track of amounts but not who donated. I think that was best.

+1!

If a room parent in my DC’s class sent out a class wide email naming families who didn’t give money, I would think very poorly of that room parent, not of the parents who didn’t (for whatever reason) contribute!

That is really inappropriate to keep track of who gives and who does not. I would never agree to that (nor do I even keep track). Either we get the money or sign ups and if we don't I pay.

I can’t believe you did this. So rude. I would think horrible of you as well- not the families who didn’t contribute

Its horrible I pay for the parties if we don't get enough donations or I don't feel like bothering to ask for donations because of how people are? Yes, what a terrible person I am.

But you're at least getting a list of the FARMs kids so you're not publicly shaming parents who may not be able to fund your elementary school party planning dreams, right? Or did you already get rid of the "poors" from your kids school because no one who needs that $30 for groceries more than a slice of Domino's and another Oriental Trading Company craft that gets thrown out in the next cleaning purge should come within classroom distance of your kid, right?

I'm kind of embarrassed for you that you couldn't find a solution that didn't involve publicly shaming people who didn't pony up for pointless classroom parties. Your options aren't extort money or pay for it yourself. Maybe "how people are" is more of a reaction to you and your tactics - our veteran class mom seems to be doing quite well using honey rather than an acid attack.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was often the room parent when my kids were in lower grades and I used to send out emails at the beginning of the year detailing what activities, parties, food, teacher's gift we would have for the entire year. I met with the teacher to draw out the plans (usually duplicating what was done in the previous years), and send an email and a signup genius link to all parents. An email was sent every week for the first 6 weeks, listing the names of all the people who had contributed. Within the first couple of weeks, all parents used to sent in their fixed $ contribution. We usually had a set number of celebrations, some activities and holiday teacher's gift. We relied on some parents to make a costco run for the parties.

I did not want to run after people to get money from them, so I made sure that all the funds were collected during the first few weeks of school. I sent emails every week for the first few weeks listing the names of people who contributed and those who still had to. It was easy to write the reminder emails at the beginning of the year.

OP, being a room parent is a responsibility not a popularity contest. You need to be blunt and make sure that everyone contributes at least a minimum agreed upon amount. If people want to contribute more it is up to them, but the fixed amount contribution is mandatory.

Wow, this is really shitting. You called out the people who didn't contribute? You're pretty rude to even gripe about it behind their backs, but you are an awful person for shaming them in a group email.

- a room mom

Agreed. It is terrible to keep track and call out people like that.
Our teacher gave us room parents a form letter for the class donation which we adapted. In it she asked us to keep track of amounts but not who donated. I think that was best.

+1!

If a room parent in my DC’s class sent out a class wide email naming families who didn’t give money, I would think very poorly of that room parent, not of the parents who didn’t (for whatever reason) contribute!

That is really inappropriate to keep track of who gives and who does not. I would never agree to that (nor do I even keep track). Either we get the money or sign ups and if we don't I pay.

I can’t believe you did this. So rude. I would think horrible of you as well- not the families who didn’t contribute

Its horrible I pay for the parties if we don't get enough donations or I don't feel like bothering to ask for donations because of how people are? Yes, what a terrible person I am.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:OP- I (and many of my mom friends) don't want our kids to have pizza at school... so don't buy it, ok?

Here's an idea, tell your kids not to eat it. The parents who say they don't want it usually have the kids the first to line up. Plus, its not your money, so your option is to tell your kid not to eat or say thanks.

Wait.. What? This whole thread is the OP bitching about parents not contributing to the pizza fund. So even if you don't want your kids to eat it, OP's going to shame you for not paying for it.

I agree that the parents who say they don't want it have the kids who are the first to line up. That's why the parents don't want it. Parents can control what they put in their child's lunchbox. They can't control what other people bring in and share with their kids.

Then you email the teacher and room parent and say your child cannot eat the pizza. Then you tell your child not to eat it. Pizza 2-3 times a year at school is not going to hurt them. They probably eat pizza and other junk at home and other places far more often. I'd rather my child be eating pizza then all the candy and other crap often offered.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP- I (and many of my mom friends) don't want our kids to have pizza at school... so don't buy it, ok?

Here's an idea, tell your kids not to eat it. The parents who say they don't want it usually have the kids the first to line up. Plus, its not your money, so your option is to tell your kid not to eat or say thanks.

Wait.. What? This whole thread is the OP bitching about parents not contributing to the pizza fund. So even if you don't want your kids to eat it, OP's going to shame you for not paying for it.

I agree that the parents who say they don't want it have the kids who are the first to line up. That's why the parents don't want it. Parents can control what they put in their child's lunchbox. They can't control what other people bring in and share with their kids.

Anonymous wrote:^^ and the requests were coming from multiple places: PTA, after school, party fund etc etc. And on a more personal note the room parent tended to get all the benefit of giving the gifts/ parties she used the class money for. Not to mention $135 for pizza pretty pricey.