Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - what you are feeling right now is not how you will feel forever. I promise you things are so so so different (and mostly better) once you are fully an adult.

I am an earlier poster where I said one of the sever sisters might be good for you. I really meant that - and listen when I say - they will welcome you later in life too. You don’t need to rush into anything.

Not all places are like Columbia - I promise you. But I also don’t feel “lesser” than just bc I didn’t do Ivy. I am now much more successful than many, many Ivy grads.

You have no idea how much better things can be and you don’t need Columbia. I promise.

I just know reading this comment that PP is a white woman oblivious to her privilege.

OP, do NOT pay attention to this comment at all. First, it's highly unlikely a Seven Sisters will accept you, and second, even if you are accepted, you'll probably have to take out more loans than if you stayed at Columbia.

But more importantly -- and I'm speaking as a middle-class Asian woman to OP (another middle-class Asian woman) -- woman from our demographic are GREATLY ENHANCED by the Ivy pedigree. From my experiences in the workplace, having an Ivy undergrad helps us IMMENSELY. You will get MUCH further in your career if you have a BA from Columbia than if you had a BA from a place like Smith; anyone who denies this is simply gaslighting the professional experiences of most middle-class Asian-American women.

OP, you MUST stay at Columbia no matter what. You ABSOLUTELY HAVE to graduate from there, or else you'll deeply regret leaving for the rest of your life. DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO GRADUATE FROM THERE!

Also OP, you should really try to appreciate being at Columbia more. It's a great school -- one that 99% of Americans would kill to get into. You need to be more grateful for what you have (which will help abet your suicidality). Besides, if you think undergrad at Columbia in a (frankly, easy) major is hard, then imagine your life after graduation. The working world (and being an adult in general) is MUCH, MUCH harder than being in college. Enjoy what you have now, because your life will get harder after graduation.

I’m PP and maybe I am white. But you’re a sociopath.

People will need survive to enjoy the prestige right? K. well, life is a little more complicated than Columbia>Smith.

-1

I'm the sociopath here? LOL

Stop gaslighting the workplace experiences of millions of Asian women when you say that Smith will bring you the same advantages as Columbia. It never will, full stop.

That’s not at all what I said. I said life is more complicated than school prestige.

Stop and consider that your failure to thrive in the work place is your low reading comp skills rather than your degree….

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - what you are feeling right now is not how you will feel forever. I promise you things are so so so different (and mostly better) once you are fully an adult.

I am an earlier poster where I said one of the sever sisters might be good for you. I really meant that - and listen when I say - they will welcome you later in life too. You don’t need to rush into anything.

Not all places are like Columbia - I promise you. But I also don’t feel “lesser” than just bc I didn’t do Ivy. I am now much more successful than many, many Ivy grads.

You have no idea how much better things can be and you don’t need Columbia. I promise.

I just know reading this comment that PP is a white woman oblivious to her privilege.

OP, do NOT pay attention to this comment at all. First, it's highly unlikely a Seven Sisters will accept you, and second, even if you are accepted, you'll probably have to take out more loans than if you stayed at Columbia.

But more importantly -- and I'm speaking as a middle-class Asian woman to OP (another middle-class Asian woman) -- woman from our demographic are GREATLY ENHANCED by the Ivy pedigree. From my experiences in the workplace, having an Ivy undergrad helps us IMMENSELY. You will get MUCH further in your career if you have a BA from Columbia than if you had a BA from a place like Smith; anyone who denies this is simply gaslighting the professional experiences of most middle-class Asian-American women.

OP, you MUST stay at Columbia no matter what. You ABSOLUTELY HAVE to graduate from there, or else you'll deeply regret leaving for the rest of your life. DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO GRADUATE FROM THERE!

Also OP, you should really try to appreciate being at Columbia more. It's a great school -- one that 99% of Americans would kill to get into. You need to be more grateful for what you have (which will help abet your suicidality). Besides, if you think undergrad at Columbia in a (frankly, easy) major is hard, then imagine your life after graduation. The working world (and being an adult in general) is MUCH, MUCH harder than being in college. Enjoy what you have now, because your life will get harder after graduation.

I’m PP and maybe I am white. But you’re a sociopath.

People will need survive to enjoy the prestige right? K. well, life is a little more complicated than Columbia>Smith.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - what you are feeling right now is not how you will feel forever. I promise you things are so so so different (and mostly better) once you are fully an adult.

I am an earlier poster where I said one of the sever sisters might be good for you. I really meant that - and listen when I say - they will welcome you later in life too. You don’t need to rush into anything.

Not all places are like Columbia - I promise you. But I also don’t feel “lesser” than just bc I didn’t do Ivy. I am now much more successful than many, many Ivy grads.

You have no idea how much better things can be and you don’t need Columbia. I promise.

I just know reading this comment that PP is a white woman oblivious to her privilege.

OP, do NOT pay attention to this comment at all. First, it's highly unlikely a Seven Sisters will accept you, and second, even if you are accepted, you'll probably have to take out more loans than if you stayed at Columbia.

But more importantly -- and I'm speaking as a middle-class Asian woman to OP (another middle-class Asian woman) -- woman from our demographic are GREATLY ENHANCED by the Ivy pedigree. From my experiences in the workplace, having an Ivy undergrad helps us IMMENSELY. You will get MUCH further in your career if you have a BA from Columbia than if you had a BA from a place like Smith; anyone who denies this is simply gaslighting the professional experiences of most middle-class Asian-American women.

OP, you MUST stay at Columbia no matter what. You ABSOLUTELY HAVE to graduate from there, or else you'll deeply regret leaving for the rest of your life. DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO GRADUATE FROM THERE!

Also OP, you should really try to appreciate being at Columbia more. It's a great school -- one that 99% of Americans would kill to get into. You need to be more grateful for what you have (which will help abet your suicidality). Besides, if you think undergrad at Columbia in a (frankly, easy) major is hard, then imagine your life after graduation. The working world (and being an adult in general) is MUCH, MUCH harder than being in college. Enjoy what you have now, because your life will get harder after graduation.

I’m PP and maybe I am white. But you’re a sociopath.

People will need survive to enjoy the prestige right? K. well, life is a little more complicated than Columbia>Smith.

-1

I'm the sociopath here? LOL

Stop gaslighting the workplace experiences of millions of Asian women when you say that Smith will bring you the same advantages as Columbia. It never will, full stop.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No Asian American woman in my family went to an Ivy, yet we've all found careers we love ranging from the arts, publishing, non-profit work, forestry, military and business.

OP, you don't need anyone else's approval. Life is too short to spend today in misery. Explore your options and do what YOU want to do.

I am almost certain you're a troll. Asian American women going into forestry or the military? LOL.

Also, saying that life is too short to spend today in misery is the antithesis of the Asian mindset. The whole Asian immigrant mindset, which I immensely admire, is that you're SUPPOSED to sacrifice your life in order to set the next generation up for success. If OP leaves Columbia, she breaks that self-sacrificing mindset and becomes yet another navel-gazing college drop out. Her life will be so much harder and her own kids will never forgive her.

All this to say, OP, that I'm going to be telling you something your parents have probably been telling you for your whole life: Your childhood and young adulthood aren't supposed to be fun and enjoyable. They might even be miserable. This is okay, because the whole purpose of your life from 0 to 30 is to set yourself and your kids up for success for the next 50 years.

Stay at Columbia!!!

Assuming this isn't a troll, this is obviously not somebody you should relate to. They claim your life is to set up your kids for success. I don't feel like that's your goal. If you want to set up your kids to have an awful upbringing like you did and maybe give yourself a pill addiction, maybe Columbia is your best route. But maybe if you just want to teach kids about moss, you can afford to take a different path.

PP here. Asian immigrant culture dictates that OP's goal is to sacrifice for the next generation and set her kids up for success. I find the Asian way much more effective and fulfilling in the long-term than the American way of chasing short-term happiness and "satisfaction" -- choosing what makes you "happy" never works because happiness is always fleeting and short-term (there's lots of psychological research on this).

The Asians are right that the most fulfilling way to live is to set up the next generation up for success and honor your parents' sacrifices. If OP doesn't do that (which dropping out of Columbia would ruin), she's throwing away her whole life. Also, OP's upbringing wasn't "awful" -- she had caring parents who pushed her academically to get into Columbia!

And did you forget the part where OP says her parents make $200k/year? That's solidly middle class in California. She cannot "afford to teach kids about moss" -- that's for rich kids with parents who will pay their first downpayment.

OP, the posters here are wealthy white people oblivious to their privilege. Stay at Columbia.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

OP here. I know you're right, which is why I'm planning on killing myself in the near future. If these are supposed to be "the best years of my life," I don't want to live anymore.

Planning my suicide has given me so much joy, relief, and peace. I don't think I've felt this happy in years.

OP, don't listen to that "best years of your life" poster. She doesn't know what it's like to grow up with abusive parents. I do. Your parents are emotionally abusing you right now. Thus, right now is the opposite of the best time of your life. Sure, for kids who go pursue their dream major and who are into it with uber supportive parents and no debt, they might be having a great time in college.

When you have abusive parents, life gets better when you are free from your abusers. This *will* get so much better OP, I promise.

And honey, Columbia is not all that. I have a friend who went there. He has been unemployed most his life and lives with his mother. In his 40s. Another person is a fed employee. Nothing special.

What's special is life. The next 60+ years of your life. You be in love, get married, travel, buy your first home, move wherever you want to move. Learn some hobbies. Make so many friendships. You will rarely even think of college.

Please, do not commit suicide. Don't let your parents destroy you right when you are so close to freedom. No way. I'd rather walk out. Talk to someone. A church leader, college counselor, your old high school counselor. Get support to get out of this rut.

Um, just because you know two Columbia grads who aren't successful doesn't mean that the name brand of the school holds immense appeal in the job market. Their most recent career report says that Columbia grads make a median of $80k a year in just the first year after graduation (since it's a median, that's including all the English and Anthropology majors -- impressive!).

As a first-gen Asian immigrant, OP NEEDS the name brand of Columbia since her parents don't have connections.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No Asian American woman in my family went to an Ivy, yet we've all found careers we love ranging from the arts, publishing, non-profit work, forestry, military and business.

OP, you don't need anyone else's approval. Life is too short to spend today in misery. Explore your options and do what YOU want to do.

I am almost certain you're a troll. Asian American women going into forestry or the military? LOL.

Also, saying that life is too short to spend today in misery is the antithesis of the Asian mindset. The whole Asian immigrant mindset, which I immensely admire, is that you're SUPPOSED to sacrifice your life in order to set the next generation up for success. If OP leaves Columbia, she breaks that self-sacrificing mindset and becomes yet another navel-gazing college drop out. Her life will be so much harder and her own kids will never forgive her.

All this to say, OP, that I'm going to be telling you something your parents have probably been telling you for your whole life: Your childhood and young adulthood aren't supposed to be fun and enjoyable. They might even be miserable. This is okay, because the whole purpose of your life from 0 to 30 is to set yourself and your kids up for success for the next 50 years.

Stay at Columbia!!!

Assuming this isn't a troll, this is obviously not somebody you should relate to. They claim your life is to set up your kids for success. I don't feel like that's your goal. If you want to set up your kids to have an awful upbringing like you did and maybe give yourself a pill addiction, maybe Columbia is your best route. But maybe if you just want to teach kids about moss, you can afford to take a different path.

PP here. Asian immigrant culture dictates that OP's goal is to sacrifice for the next generation and set her kids up for success. I find the Asian way much more effective and fulfilling in the long-term than the American way of chasing short-term happiness and "satisfaction" -- choosing what makes you "happy" never works because happiness is always fleeting and short-term (there's lots of psychological research on this).

The Asians are right that the most fulfilling way to live is to set up the next generation up for success and honor your parents' sacrifices. If OP doesn't do that (which dropping out of Columbia would ruin), she's throwing away her whole life. Also, OP's upbringing wasn't "awful" -- she had caring parents who pushed her academically to get into Columbia!

And did you forget the part where OP says her parents make $200k/year? That's solidly middle class in California. She cannot "afford to teach kids about moss" -- that's for rich kids with parents who will pay their first downpayment.

OP, the posters here are wealthy white people oblivious to their privilege. Stay at Columbia.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

OP here. I know you're right, which is why I'm planning on killing myself in the near future. If these are supposed to be "the best years of my life," I don't want to live anymore.

Planning my suicide has given me so much joy, relief, and peace. I don't think I've felt this happy in years.

OP, don't listen to that "best years of your life" poster. She doesn't know what it's like to grow up with abusive parents. I do. Your parents are emotionally abusing you right now. Thus, right now is the opposite of the best time of your life. Sure, for kids who go pursue their dream major and who are into it with uber supportive parents and no debt, they might be having a great time in college.

When you have abusive parents, life gets better when you are free from your abusers. This *will* get so much better OP, I promise.

And honey, Columbia is not all that. I have a friend who went there. He has been unemployed most his life and lives with his mother. In his 40s. Another person is a fed employee. Nothing special.

What's special is life. The next 60+ years of your life. You be in love, get married, travel, buy your first home, move wherever you want to move. Learn some hobbies. Make so many friendships. You will rarely even think of college.

Please, do not commit suicide. Don't let your parents destroy you right when you are so close to freedom. No way. I'd rather walk out. Talk to someone. A church leader, college counselor, your old high school counselor. Get support to get out of this rut.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No Asian American woman in my family went to an Ivy, yet we've all found careers we love ranging from the arts, publishing, non-profit work, forestry, military and business.

OP, you don't need anyone else's approval. Life is too short to spend today in misery. Explore your options and do what YOU want to do.

I am almost certain you're a troll. Asian American women going into forestry or the military? LOL.

Also, saying that life is too short to spend today in misery is the antithesis of the Asian mindset. The whole Asian immigrant mindset, which I immensely admire, is that you're SUPPOSED to sacrifice your life in order to set the next generation up for success. If OP leaves Columbia, she breaks that self-sacrificing mindset and becomes yet another navel-gazing college drop out. Her life will be so much harder and her own kids will never forgive her.

All this to say, OP, that I'm going to be telling you something your parents have probably been telling you for your whole life: Your childhood and young adulthood aren't supposed to be fun and enjoyable. They might even be miserable. This is okay, because the whole purpose of your life from 0 to 30 is to set yourself and your kids up for success for the next 50 years.

Stay at Columbia!!!

Assuming this isn't a troll, this is obviously not somebody you should relate to. They claim your life is to set up your kids for success. I don't feel like that's your goal. If you want to set up your kids to have an awful upbringing like you did and maybe give yourself a pill addiction, maybe Columbia is your best route. But maybe if you just want to teach kids about moss, you can afford to take a different path.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No Asian American woman in my family went to an Ivy, yet we've all found careers we love ranging from the arts, publishing, non-profit work, forestry, military and business.

OP, you don't need anyone else's approval. Life is too short to spend today in misery. Explore your options and do what YOU want to do.

I am almost certain you're a troll. Asian American women going into forestry or the military? LOL.

Also, saying that life is too short to spend today in misery is the antithesis of the Asian mindset. The whole Asian immigrant mindset, which I immensely admire, is that you're SUPPOSED to sacrifice your life in order to set the next generation up for success. If OP leaves Columbia, she breaks that self-sacrificing mindset and becomes yet another navel-gazing college drop out. Her life will be so much harder and her own kids will never forgive her.

All this to say, OP, that I'm going to be telling you something your parents have probably been telling you for your whole life: Your childhood and young adulthood aren't supposed to be fun and enjoyable. They might even be miserable. This is okay, because the whole purpose of your life from 0 to 30 is to set yourself and your kids up for success for the next 50 years.

Stay at Columbia!!!

Anonymous wrote:

OP here. I know you're right, which is why I'm planning on killing myself in the near future. If these are supposed to be "the best years of my life," I don't want to live anymore.

Planning my suicide has given me so much joy, relief, and peace. I don't think I've felt this happy in years.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - what you are feeling right now is not how you will feel forever. I promise you things are so so so different (and mostly better) once you are fully an adult.

I am an earlier poster where I said one of the sever sisters might be good for you. I really meant that - and listen when I say - they will welcome you later in life too. You don’t need to rush into anything.

Not all places are like Columbia - I promise you. But I also don’t feel “lesser” than just bc I didn’t do Ivy. I am now much more successful than many, many Ivy grads.

You have no idea how much better things can be and you don’t need Columbia. I promise.

I just know reading this comment that PP is a white woman oblivious to her privilege.

OP, do NOT pay attention to this comment at all. First, it's highly unlikely a Seven Sisters will accept you, and second, even if you are accepted, you'll probably have to take out more loans than if you stayed at Columbia.

But more importantly -- and I'm speaking as a middle-class Asian woman to OP (another middle-class Asian woman) -- woman from our demographic are GREATLY ENHANCED by the Ivy pedigree. From my experiences in the workplace, having an Ivy undergrad helps us IMMENSELY. You will get MUCH further in your career if you have a BA from Columbia than if you had a BA from a place like Smith; anyone who denies this is simply gaslighting the professional experiences of most middle-class Asian-American women.

OP, you MUST stay at Columbia no matter what. You ABSOLUTELY HAVE to graduate from there, or else you'll deeply regret leaving for the rest of your life. DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO GRADUATE FROM THERE!

Also OP, you should really try to appreciate being at Columbia more. It's a great school -- one that 99% of Americans would kill to get into. You need to be more grateful for what you have (which will help abet your suicidality). Besides, if you think undergrad at Columbia in a (frankly, easy) major is hard, then imagine your life after graduation. The working world (and being an adult in general) is MUCH, MUCH harder than being in college. Enjoy what you have now, because your life will get harder after graduation.

How dare you tell a suicidal young woman that life is just going to get harder and harder. This whole thread is vile! Somebody help this girl!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No Asian American woman in my family went to an Ivy, yet we've all found careers we love ranging from the arts, publishing, non-profit work, forestry, military and business.

OP, you don't need anyone else's approval. Life is too short to spend today in misery. Explore your options and do what YOU want to do.

I am almost certain you're a troll. Asian American women going into forestry or the military? LOL.

Also, saying that life is too short to spend today in misery is the antithesis of the Asian mindset. The whole Asian immigrant mindset, which I immensely admire, is that you're SUPPOSED to sacrifice your life in order to set the next generation up for success. If OP leaves Columbia, she breaks that self-sacrificing mindset and becomes yet another navel-gazing college drop out. Her life will be so much harder and her own kids will never forgive her.

All this to say, OP, that I'm going to be telling you something your parents have probably been telling you for your whole life: Your childhood and young adulthood aren't supposed to be fun and enjoyable. They might even be miserable. This is okay, because the whole purpose of your life from 0 to 30 is to set yourself and your kids up for success for the next 50 years.

Stay at Columbia!!!