Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:so Y’all are essentially saying NOT to judge blacks by the content of their character because their character is a victim of [institutional racism].

It is not them underperforming in school, involved in petty or violent crimes, children out of wedlock, denigrating women and cursing in hip hop. It is not them, that is all due to [racism].

I honestly don’t see an endgame here.

Just out of curiosity...If I'm black and I did not under-perform in school nor was I ever involved in any petty or violent crime nor was I nor my children born out of wedlock nor do I denigrate women and prefer jazz to hip hop am I still allowed to have strong opinions about systemic racism and white privilege?

You flip the switch depending on who you’re hanging out with. Just like I have to. You’re torn. Your kids are likely in private school if you have the extra income or wealth.

I’m more curious how you balance personal responsibility with your opinions on “systemic racism and white privilege.”

You're not familiar with sarcasm are you?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seems like these incidents aren’t isolated.

Our kids have every right to express themselves whether you approve or not. This is America and we support free speech.

Though public school students do possess First Amendment freedoms, the courts allow school officials to regulate certain types of student expression. For example, school officials may prohibit speech that substantially disrupts the school environment or that invades the rights of others. Many courts have held that school officials can restrict student speech that is lewd.

Anonymous wrote:Here are the rules. Black kid to Black Kid ok. The rest don't say it

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:so Y’all are essentially saying NOT to judge blacks by the content of their character because their character is a victim of [institutional racism].

It is not them underperforming in school, involved in petty or violent crimes, children out of wedlock, denigrating women and cursing in hip hop. It is not them, that is all due to [racism].

I honestly don’t see an endgame here.

Just out of curiosity...If I'm black and I did not under-perform in school nor was I ever involved in any petty or violent crime nor was I nor my children born out of wedlock nor do I denigrate women and prefer jazz to hip hop am I still allowed to have strong opinions about systemic racism and white privilege?

You flip the switch depending on who you’re hanging out with. Just like I have to. You’re torn. Your kids are likely in private school if you have the extra income or wealth.

I’m more curious how you balance personal responsibility with your opinions on “systemic racism and white privilege.”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:so Y’all are essentially saying NOT to judge blacks by the content of their character because their character is a victim of [institutional racism].

It is not them underperforming in school, involved in petty or violent crimes, children out of wedlock, denigrating women and cursing in hip hop. It is not them, that is all due to [racism].

I honestly don’t see an endgame here.

I am certainly not one of those saying that.

Whoever is "underperforming in school, involved in petty or violent crimes, children out of wedlock, denigrating women and cursing in hip hop" should be hold responsible as an individual.
If you show statistics that can suggest there are more white/blacks doing that, that is ok. But that shows nothing other than the stats along.

Good. So we all agree. Judge individuals on their character, actions, words, behavior.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:so Y’all are essentially saying NOT to judge blacks by the content of their character because their character is a victim of [institutional racism].

It is not them underperforming in school, involved in petty or violent crimes, children out of wedlock, denigrating women and cursing in hip hop. It is not them, that is all due to [racism].

I honestly don’t see an endgame here.

I am certainly not one of those saying that.

Whoever is "underperforming in school, involved in petty or violent crimes, children out of wedlock, denigrating women and cursing in hip hop" should be hold responsible as an individual.
If you show statistics that can suggest there are more white/blacks doing that, that is ok. But that shows nothing other than the stats along.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:so Y’all are essentially saying NOT to judge blacks by the content of their character because their character is a victim of [institutional racism].

It is not them underperforming in school, involved in petty or violent crimes, children out of wedlock, denigrating women and cursing in hip hop. It is not them, that is all due to [racism].

I honestly don’t see an endgame here.

Just out of curiosity...If I'm black and I did not under-perform in school nor was I ever involved in any petty or violent crime nor was I nor my children born out of wedlock nor do I denigrate women and prefer jazz to hip hop am I still allowed to have strong opinions about systemic racism and white privilege?

Anonymous wrote:so Y’all are essentially saying NOT to judge blacks by the content of their character because their character is a victim of [institutional racism].

It is not them underperforming in school, involved in petty or violent crimes, children out of wedlock, denigrating women and cursing in hip hop. It is not them, that is all due to [racism].

I honestly don’t see an endgame here.

Anonymous wrote:so Y’all are essentially saying NOT to judge blacks by the content of their character because their character is a victim of [institutional racism].

It is not them underperforming in school, involved in petty or violent crimes, children out of wedlock, denigrating women and cursing in hip hop. It is not them, that is all due to [racism].

I honestly don’t see an endgame here.

Anonymous wrote:

No. It is not obvious to recent legal immigrants what may be ingrained in the psyche of Blacks and Whites in this country. We can only see what is in front of our eyes and we react to that. For example, we can see that many AA students are disinterested in school and are disruptive in the classroom or that many young and promising Black men are targeted by the police and vigilantes and their lives are over prematurely because they are Black. Both are disturbing to us and we can react to the both. Of course then we are either called racists or ignorent. Neither is true - we are actually the people who are not burdened with the racist history and see things as they exist today. In fact, we judge people not be the color of their skins but by the content of their character. If I can teach my children from the time that they were young and now as teenagers that they cannot use the "N" word because it is abusive and racist. then there is no reason that Blacks and Whites cannot do that with their own children.

NP here. As a fellow recent immigrant, I suggest reading up on the history of your adopted country -- books, Wikipedia, articles online. There are some excellent podcasts out there too.

Also, when you say "we judge people not by the color of their skins", who is "we" here? I don't know of any country/culture where skin color is not an issue in some way or the other.

Anonymous wrote:Seems like these incidents aren’t isolated.

No. It is not obvious to recent legal immigrants what may be ingrained in the psyche of Blacks and Whites in this country. We can only see what is in front of our eyes and we react to that. For example, we can see that many AA students are disinterested in school and are disruptive in the classroom or that many young and promising Black men are targeted by the police and vigilantes and their lives are over prematurely because they are Black. Both are disturbing to us and we can react to the both. Of course then we are either called racists or ignorent. Neither is true - we are actually the people who are not burdened with the racist history and see things as they exist today. In fact, we judge people not be the color of their skins but by the content of their character. If I can teach my children from the time that they were young and now as teenagers that they cannot use the "N" word because it is abusive and racist. then there is no reason that Blacks and Whites cannot do that with their own children.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here are the rules. Black kid to Black Kid ok. The rest don't say it

"Black", "Negro", "People of Color", "Colored people" and "African Americans" - I have been told not to use these terms at one time or another. And yet I see this being used all the time everywhere. We are Asian immigrants and it is all very confusing.

What is the correct word/phrase?

When in doubt, ‘African American’ is probably best but ‘black’ is fine for most situations. Never ever use ‘colored’ or ‘negro’. Those were considered politie a long, long time ago but not today.

There is 'United Negro College Fund' still operating - https://www.uncf.org/dmv Can you explain why that is ok if it is offensive? It is also being used by Black people. Why not change it?

What about the historical Boyds Negro School? The sign is proudly displayed and if it was so offensive, why not rename it? It could be called the Boyds Historical Black School (formally known as Boyd's Negro School)?


I have been told by Blacks to not call them African-American because they were from Caribbean or Africa. They want to be called Black. However, when someone refers to another as a Black person, it is said that they have been reduced to the color of their skin. Sometimes I have heard them being referred to POC (people of color) but then they take offence if other non-Whites (Asians, Hispanics) are also included in the POC category. Also, if someone calls 'People of Color' as 'Colored people' that is offensive too (thanks, DCUM), Why?

Why is it ok for AA boys to call each other 'N-word' that ends in an 'r'. Why is that ok? Why don't the parents stop them from calling each other that word? If they will not use it themselves, people will stop using it. One day that word will disappear because no one will find it ok to use. They can lose that hateful word through disuse.

The Washington football team is called the Redskins. That is what the team has historically been called. Many people would like to change the name, but even those who don't want to change the name are unlikely to think it's appropriate to call actual native American people "redskins." When people see negro in UNCF or for the school, they understand it is a historical reference. What is so hard to understand about that?
And guess what? 15 year old boys say and do lots of inappropriate things. Are you really dying to speak and act like a teenage boy? Teenaged white boys do and say lots of inappropriate things too. I don't assume they do it because their parents haven't taught them any better. I assume they do it because they are teenaged boys.

It is historical for only those whose ancestors were part of this history - both the oppressors and the oppressed. For recent immigrants like me, we are still deciphering what is right or wrong based on the cues we are getting from Black and White folks in this country. The message is thus confusing.

Even the composition of Blacks is confusing because the recent African and Caribbean immigrants that we know in our middle class circle did not face the kind of institutional racism of US in their country of origin. They have intact and functional families for generations, they are white collar families, educated and driven. They differentiate themselves from African Americans and feel that they face the stereotypes that does not apply to them.

No. It is not obvious to recent legal immigrants what may be ingrained in the psyche of Blacks and Whites in this country. We can only see what is in front of our eyes and we react to that. For example, we can see that many AA students are disinterested in school and are disruptive in the classroom or that many young and promising Black men are targeted by the police and vigilantes and their lives are over prematurely because they are Black. Both are disturbing to us and we can react to the both. Of course then we are either called racists or ignorent. Neither is true - we are actually the people who are not burdened with the racist history and see things as they exist today. In fact, we judge people not be the color of their skins but by the content of their character. If I can teach my children from the time that they were young and now as teenagers that they cannot use the "N" word because it is abusive and racist. then there is no reason that Blacks and Whites cannot do that with their own children.

And yes, it is a failure of parents to not instill it in their children. Shame on them, because they should know better. These 15 year old boys will grow up into adults who will think it a-OK to call or be called the N-word. It is not funny, it is not appropriate and it has to stop.

As a middle class AA from generations of intact families, and who is a white collar professional, I suggest that you are adding to the stereotypes.