Anonymous
08/15/2016 13:49
Subject: MIL trying to send MY Jewish kids to Bible camp!
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Given that OP offered to research and pay for daytime activities this was purely disrespectful.
Show me day camp that accepts last minute drop ins and I think about what you said. Sounds like it was a spur of the moment decision
A VBS camp often accepts last minute drop-ins because it isn't a babysitting camp that people sign up for in February so their kids have someplace to be while their parents are working.
Anonymous
08/15/2016 13:47
Subject: MIL trying to send MY Jewish kids to Bible camp!
Anonymous wrote:Curious how many of you MIL supporting posters would be cool with Muslim inlaws surprise signing up their Jewish grandkids for a week of Koran camp at a time when it will hugely impact their parents to find other arrangements.
I wouldn't have a problem with it at all. Sitting in a garage doesn't make a person a car.
Anonymous
08/15/2016 09:40
Subject: Re:MIL trying to send MY Jewish kids to Bible camp!
Anonymous wrote:
Don't you get it? The in laws are undermining BOTH parents regarding a fundamental choice they have made about their lives and their children's lives. OP's husband's family can continue to be Christian, but they should respect OP and her husband's decision that their family will be Jewish. And yes, that is the will of the nuclear family. Jews don't send their kids to Bible camp.
Yes, I get it. But, I find it very interesting that someone who is very Jewish married a non-Jew. No one has mentioned this and the Op has ignored the question. If being Jewish is so important why not marry a Jew? Than there would be a Jewish MIL and FIL. Problem solved!
But, she didn't. If she doesn't want her children to have a relationship with their grandparents it may come back to bite them in the ass. The children could resent having no relations with the grandparents and you are modeling how to treat you in the future. What if they marry a Christian ( the horror) and decide to raise their children Christian? Would you try to sneak them into a Jewish camp? If you did and the son in law canceled your visit with your grandchildren....honestly how wouldyou feel?
Seriously? I would never try to sneak them into a Jewish camp, and if I did and they cancelled the visit, I would feel ashamed of myself.
Read the damn thread--these grandparents tried to baptise the kids. They don't attend a mainline Protestant denomination. They have issues with the kids being raised Jewish. They didn't vet this in advance with their son.
And who gives a shit why she married a non-Jew? She and her husband decided that the kids would be raised Jewish. Period. If the grandparents want to have a relationship with their grandkids, they should respect this. This is a fundamental parenting decision. This is not about grandparents feeding the kids too many cookies when they visit, this is about grandparents trying to undermine the parents' religious education of their children.
Anonymous
08/15/2016 07:20
Subject: MIL trying to send MY Jewish kids to Bible camp!
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Given that OP offered to research and pay for daytime activities this was purely disrespectful.
Show me day camp that accepts last minute drop ins and I think about what you said. Sounds like it was a spur of the moment decision
Sure - what location? I just got a spot for my kid next week for a few days at Steve & Kate's camp.
And what lame excuses do you have for OP's MIL's history of trying to baptize the kids? Also spur of the moment?
What lame excuses do you have for op marrying into a Christian family and not expecting that to have an impact on the non Jewish religious influences they might be exposed to? But her husband promised to raise them Jewish? But he's not Jewish. How can you have a fully Jewish family life when the father isn't Jewish, in the first place? You can't. But that was Ops choice. She has only herself to blame.
Just stop. She said she's loves him and he's a great guy. They are fine. It's not their fault the MIL has no respect for boundaries.
Anonymous
08/14/2016 22:10
Subject: MIL trying to send MY Jewish kids to Bible camp!
If I was OP I would have long ago asked Jeff to lock this thread, but OP is probably smarter and just staying away.
Anonymous
08/14/2016 21:49
Subject: MIL trying to send MY Jewish kids to Bible camp!
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Given that OP offered to research and pay for daytime activities this was purely disrespectful.
Show me day camp that accepts last minute drop ins and I think about what you said. Sounds like it was a spur of the moment decision
Sure - what location? I just got a spot for my kid next week for a few days at Steve & Kate's camp.
And what lame excuses do you have for OP's MIL's history of trying to baptize the kids? Also spur of the moment?
What lame excuses do you have for op marrying into a Christian family and not expecting that to have an impact on the non Jewish religious influences they might be exposed to? But her husband promised to raise them Jewish? But he's not Jewish. How can you have a fully Jewish family life when the father isn't Jewish, in the first place? You can't. But that was Ops choice. She has only herself to blame.
Anonymous
08/14/2016 21:43
Subject: MIL trying to send MY Jewish kids to Bible camp!
If she wanted to oversee her children she'd be doing that. If she's concerned about a Jewish upbringing she'd have married a Jewish man. Believe it or not traditional Judaism has an important role for a Jewish father . Op was the one who decided a Jewish father wasn't necessary to bring her child up Jewish. So she takes the blame for all the consequences of her decisions. Or she should if she was a grown up.
Anonymous
08/14/2016 21:39
Subject: MIL trying to send MY Jewish kids to Bible camp!
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Given that OP offered to research and pay for daytime activities this was purely disrespectful.
Show me day camp that accepts last minute drop ins and I think about what you said. Sounds like it was a spur of the moment decision
Sure - what location? I just got a spot for my kid next week for a few days at Steve & Kate's camp.
And what lame excuses do you have for OP's MIL's history of trying to baptize the kids? Also spur of the moment?
Anonymous
08/14/2016 21:20
Subject: Re:MIL trying to send MY Jewish kids to Bible camp!
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I feel for the DH in this scene. He grew up in a highly religious family, left the faith and married another religious person but, in a different faith. DH basically married his Mom and the Op will most likely become the MIL when she is grandmom. Her lack of flexibility is just like the MIL. Both believe they are right and no one is going to bend. Feel sorry for the kids unless they remain Jewish and marry a Jew as well.
Anything less than that will be unsatisfactory in the Mom's eyes. ( yes,I know she wrote she wouldn't care if they married non-Jews but anyone can see that she would care...a lot.)
How ironic that OP is so very concerned that her kids get a proper upbringing in Judaism yet does the one thing almost guaranteed to make that as difficult as possible--marry a Christian man with fanatically Christian parents.
It's almost as if OP is someone who refuses to take any responsibility for her own decisions and choices. Why I'd even bet she'd have no problem leaving her kids in the clutches of a couple of proselytizing Bible bashing Christians for a full week because she wanted some free day care and wanted to dump her kids because after all how could you possible celebrate your tenth wedding anniversary if your children were also present.
Now THAT's "FAMILY."
what an ugly, twisted thought. so somehow wanting to oversee your child's religious education and not expose them to a setting that is actively trying to undermine their faith is wrong? All because OP did not marry a Jewish man?
Anonymous
08/14/2016 21:14
Subject: MIL trying to send MY Jewish kids to Bible camp!
Anonymous wrote:Given that OP offered to research and pay for daytime activities this was purely disrespectful.
Show me day camp that accepts last minute drop ins and I think about what you said. Sounds like it was a spur of the moment decision
Anonymous
08/14/2016 21:07
Subject: MIL trying to send MY Jewish kids to Bible camp!
Given that OP offered to research and pay for daytime activities this was purely disrespectful.
Anonymous
08/14/2016 19:33
Subject: MIL trying to send MY Jewish kids to Bible camp!
A MIL/babysitting grandmother here. The discussion is interesting, but don't overthink the decision. I think it was made on a practical and probably last minute decision to get the kids out of the house for a little while.
It's fun, cheap, easy, and if the kids don't like it, you can keep them home. Games, sings, color sheets and a few hours of relief for all.
Maybe not the best decision, but no malice, no conversion, no disrespect intended. Maybe the idea that the kids might learn a little about the religion their dad was brought up in, but mostly a little peace and quiet time for grandparents to recharge and regroup.
It's fun, cheap, easy, and if the kids don't like it, you can keep them home. Games, sings, color sheets and a few hours of relief for all.
Maybe not the best decision, but no malice, no conversion, no disrespect intended. Maybe the idea that the kids might learn a little about the religion their dad was brought up in, but mostly a little peace and quiet time for grandparents to recharge and regroup.
Anonymous
08/14/2016 18:54
Subject: Re:MIL trying to send MY Jewish kids to Bible camp!
Anonymous wrote:[Post New]08/13/2016 21:36 Subject: MIL trying to send MY Jewish kids to Bible camp! [Up]
Anonymous
Let's put a new spin on this. You are Muslim and raising your kids in Islamic faith. Your MIL decided to sent your kids to Bible camp? Would Muslim Dad like that? Or, you are Jewish and there is a Muslim camp that is close and affordable, would you be ok with that, or vice versa? So what is the answer, would you Christian moms send your kids to Muslim day school or Quran camp?
If I was Muslim and married outside the faith I would definitely have no problem with the IL's sharing their religious beliefs. Same if I was Jewish and married a Muslim. Point is if I was that religious I would have married a man of my faith. Just like there are people who want a stay at home wife/husband or a wife/husband who works. If I wanted kids and my boyfriend didn't want kids that would be a deal breaker and I would find someone else.
This is what the posters who totally agree with the Op don't answer. Why is it ok for a multi-racial person to say they are half-white half Chinese or whatever but an inter-religious couple can't acknowledge both religions of the family? Yes, the husband is helping raise the kids Jewish but that doesn't wipe out the history of his family.
If I married a Muslim and left the kids with my spouse's parents for a week, and they were devout and I knew that going in, I'd have to be an idiot to be surprised if my kids got exposure to that religion while they were with the inlaws.
Anonymous
08/14/2016 18:52
Subject: Re:MIL trying to send MY Jewish kids to Bible camp!
Anonymous wrote:I feel for the DH in this scene. He grew up in a highly religious family, left the faith and married another religious person but, in a different faith. DH basically married his Mom and the Op will most likely become the MIL when she is grandmom. Her lack of flexibility is just like the MIL. Both believe they are right and no one is going to bend. Feel sorry for the kids unless they remain Jewish and marry a Jew as well.
Anything less than that will be unsatisfactory in the Mom's eyes. ( yes,I know she wrote she wouldn't care if they married non-Jews but anyone can see that she would care...a lot.)
How ironic that OP is so very concerned that her kids get a proper upbringing in Judaism yet does the one thing almost guaranteed to make that as difficult as possible--marry a Christian man with fanatically Christian parents.
It's almost as if OP is someone who refuses to take any responsibility for her own decisions and choices. Why I'd even bet she'd have no problem leaving her kids in the clutches of a couple of proselytizing Bible bashing Christians for a full week because she wanted some free day care and wanted to dump her kids because after all how could you possible celebrate your tenth wedding anniversary if your children were also present.
Now THAT's "FAMILY."
Anonymous
08/14/2016 12:46
Subject: Re:MIL trying to send MY Jewish kids to Bible camp!
[Post New]08/13/2016 21:36 Subject: MIL trying to send MY Jewish kids to Bible camp! [Up]
Anonymous
Let's put a new spin on this. You are Muslim and raising your kids in Islamic faith. Your MIL decided to sent your kids to Bible camp? Would Muslim Dad like that? Or, you are Jewish and there is a Muslim camp that is close and affordable, would you be ok with that, or vice versa? So what is the answer, would you Christian moms send your kids to Muslim day school or Quran camp?
If I was Muslim and married outside the faith I would definitely have no problem with the IL's sharing their religious beliefs. Same if I was Jewish and married a Muslim. Point is if I was that religious I would have married a man of my faith. Just like there are people who want a stay at home wife/husband or a wife/husband who works. If I wanted kids and my boyfriend didn't want kids that would be a deal breaker and I would find someone else.
This is what the posters who totally agree with the Op don't answer. Why is it ok for a multi-racial person to say they are half-white half Chinese or whatever but an inter-religious couple can't acknowledge both religions of the family? Yes, the husband is helping raise the kids Jewish but that doesn't wipe out the history of his family.
Anonymous
Let's put a new spin on this. You are Muslim and raising your kids in Islamic faith. Your MIL decided to sent your kids to Bible camp? Would Muslim Dad like that? Or, you are Jewish and there is a Muslim camp that is close and affordable, would you be ok with that, or vice versa? So what is the answer, would you Christian moms send your kids to Muslim day school or Quran camp?
If I was Muslim and married outside the faith I would definitely have no problem with the IL's sharing their religious beliefs. Same if I was Jewish and married a Muslim. Point is if I was that religious I would have married a man of my faith. Just like there are people who want a stay at home wife/husband or a wife/husband who works. If I wanted kids and my boyfriend didn't want kids that would be a deal breaker and I would find someone else.
This is what the posters who totally agree with the Op don't answer. Why is it ok for a multi-racial person to say they are half-white half Chinese or whatever but an inter-religious couple can't acknowledge both religions of the family? Yes, the husband is helping raise the kids Jewish but that doesn't wipe out the history of his family.