Anonymous wrote:I think there are a lot of assumptions on this thread that A) the redshirted kid is the biggest, B) the redshirted kid is the most disruptive, C) the redshirted kid is so advanced that it changes the curriculum. You do realize that these are just assumptions right? I dare say most redshirted kids are none of the above....

Actually, all three have been our experience.

Anonymous wrote:

He'd probably struggle just the same if he were held back a year.

Doubtful. This child is a young adult now. Quite gifted --was in the GT program prior to AAP. Nice kid--he was just way too young. Latest birthday in the class--late September and just immature--but quite bright. College dropout. I really think another year would have made a difference. He was just too young.

You're right, he would have had more issues, including behavioral if he was that bright and not being academically challenged. You can spin it how you want, but holding back is not the answer. Providing the supports to our kids is.

Interestingly, in my children's classes, it was typically the kids who were on the younger end of the age range who tended to be disruptive and needed more time and attention from the teachers.

There were a few that I sometimes worked with as a volunteer with an outside of school program and I could see that they were very immature for their age and being the youngest in the class exacerbated the problem. Allowing these kids to go to school a year later would have been appropriate and would have allowed these kids to have a better, more successful school experience.

Bottom line: If your child has a late birthday, and you think your child would be better off going to K--then send him. If you think he would be better off waiting a year, then red-shirt him.

DO WHAT YOU THINK IS BEST FOR YOUR CHILD AND QUIT WORRYING ABOUT THE OTHERS!

I think there are a lot of assumptions on this thread that A) the redshirted kid is the biggest, B) the redshirted kid is the most disruptive, C) the redshirted kid is so advanced that it changes the curriculum. You do realize that these are just assumptions right? I dare say most redshirted kids are none of the above....

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

For parents with younger kids, unless your child lives for sports, the age differences tend to disappear as the children get older. Academically my child is top of the class. There are some social differences between the youngest and older kids, but they're less obvious in a school setting (although I think more obvious at things like school dances).

Disagree. I know a couple of people who regret sending their kids young--the comment: "Nobody told me about high school!"

Another kid I know was a fish out of water in high school. Very smart, good kid--but socially far behind the others--again, the youngest in his class--or at least, I assume so as the birthday was very late September. Preschool teacher and K teacher recommend another year=--but mom was insistent because he was "academically ready".

Each child is different. If you think your kid is not ready, wait a year--especially if the preschool teacher thinks so, too. Remember, that is where someone sees him interact with other kids.

He'd probably struggle just the same if he were held back a year.

I wonder about these examples that people post -- I know a child in high school or college who is immature. If only they'd been redshirted, then they wouldn't be immature. Wouldn't they still be immature if they were one year older in high school or college?

That's a difficult question to answer because it's so individual.

I know when a preschool teacher suggested my quirky, birthday just before cutoff, daughter do another year of preschool before K, I was amused by the answers. It was all social, nothing academic. If I weren't allowed to enter K until I didn't struggle with social interactions, I would still be in preschool as a 40 year old. Some of us lag in social skills. Fortunately, now we know they can be explicitly taught. My daughter will always be quirky, but keeping her with her grade peers makes sure she's in an age-appropriate environment to be learning and practicing those social skills. Explicitly working on social skills has been much more beneficial than holding her out a year and hoping she'd magically pick them up. Sending my daughter on time was the right thing to do for her. Maybe when it comes time for college we'll be concerned, but I doubt it. And if we do, there's always a gap year. So far elementary and middle have gone well, and high school is going well.

I have a child w/a late Nov bday (FCPS) so they will start K at 5.5 and will finish K at 6.5. How is a 6.5 year old in K that different from a 7 year old, really?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I agree. My son is in 1st grade and there are a number of redshirted or otherwise held back boys in his class that are more than a year older. They are genuinely nice kids, but socially, they have nothing in common with a 6 year old. If too many parents do it, or too many kids are held back for academic or attendance reasons by the school, it creates an inappropriate social environment for the kids who are the expected age for their grade.

Are you honestly saying a 7 year old has nothing in common with a 6 year old? You can't be serious. I would guess 70% of 1st graders will turn 7 during 1st grade.

A number of these kids turned 8 early this year, not 7. Whatever, deny it is an issue if you want, you are not there. Fortunately we are moving next year so it won't be an issue any more for us either.

We have two kids who turned 8 the past month or two in 1st. The rest are 6 and 7. Big difference between 6 and 8.

You are talking about 2 kids. As you mention the rest are 6 or 7. Are these two kids really having that big of an impact on the rest of the class?

Yes. The redshirted kids fall into one of two categories: those who are socially awkward and need OT or something like it (and being older doesn't help with this), and those who are just flat-out too old and big. Boys in both groups (yes, they seem always to be boys) end up taking way more than their proportional share of the teachers' time, dominating conversations, and generally disrupting what would otherwise be a perfectly pleasant school experience.

You have no idea if they would be less disruptive if they were 6 or 7. They might have been even more so. There is a kid in DS's class who is ALWAYS in trouble and always distracting the class. He went on time.
Disruptive kids need to be addressed regardless of whether they are 6,7 or 8. I agree that no one child should be able to dominate the teacher's attention. I am not positive that red-shirting is the cause of this behavior and neither are you.

FWIW my son went on time but I would have no issue with an almost or already 8 year old in his class. What would bothers me is a child of any age disrupting the class. Where I do agree with you is that boys tend to be rowdier than girls at this age.
DS and I talk about this all the time.

Boys in both groups (yes, they seem always to be boys) end up taking way more than their proportional share of the teachers' time, dominating conversations, and generally disrupting what would otherwise be a perfectly pleasant school experience.

Interestingly, in my children's classes, it was typically the kids who were on the younger end of the age range who tended to be disruptive and needed more time and attention from the teachers.

There were a few that I sometimes worked with as a volunteer with an outside of school program and I could see that they were very immature for their age and being the youngest in the class exacerbated the problem. Allowing these kids to go to school a year later would have been appropriate and would have allowed these kids to have a better, more successful school experience.

I wonder about these examples that people post -- I know a child in high school or college who is immature. If only they'd been redshirted, then they wouldn't be immature. Wouldn't they still be immature if they were one year older in high school or college

The point is that the extra year gives them additional time to mature. We don't all grow and develop at exactly the same rate. So, a kid who is not ready for high school when his birthday places him at the younger end of the age range might do perfectly fine with another year to develop emotionally, socially, and physically.

Maturity or immaturity is not a static characteristic, kids gradually become more mature as time goes by. Some grow and develop at a quicker or slower pace than others, even when they are the same age. Kids are all different from one another. What works for one may not work for another. Parents need to make the best decision for their own children.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I agree. My son is in 1st grade and there are a number of redshirted or otherwise held back boys in his class that are more than a year older. They are genuinely nice kids, but socially, they have nothing in common with a 6 year old. If too many parents do it, or too many kids are held back for academic or attendance reasons by the school, it creates an inappropriate social environment for the kids who are the expected age for their grade.

Are you honestly saying a 7 year old has nothing in common with a 6 year old? You can't be serious. I would guess 70% of 1st graders will turn 7 during 1st grade.

A number of these kids turned 8 early this year, not 7. Whatever, deny it is an issue if you want, you are not there. Fortunately we are moving next year so it won't be an issue any more for us either.

We have two kids who turned 8 the past month or two in 1st. The rest are 6 and 7. Big difference between 6 and 8.

You are talking about 2 kids. As you mention the rest are 6 or 7. Are these two kids really having that big of an impact on the rest of the class?

Yes. The redshirted kids fall into one of two categories: those who are socially awkward and need OT or something like it (and being older doesn't help with this), and those who are just flat-out too old and big. Boys in both groups (yes, they seem always to be boys) end up taking way more than their proportional share of the teachers' time, dominating conversations, and generally disrupting what would otherwise be a perfectly pleasant school experience.

He'd probably struggle just the same if he were held back a year.

Doubtful. This child is a young adult now. Quite gifted --was in the GT program prior to AAP. Nice kid--he was just way too young. Latest birthday in the class--late September and just immature--but quite bright. College dropout. I really think another year would have made a difference. He was just too young.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I agree. My son is in 1st grade and there are a number of redshirted or otherwise held back boys in his class that are more than a year older. They are genuinely nice kids, but socially, they have nothing in common with a 6 year old. If too many parents do it, or too many kids are held back for academic or attendance reasons by the school, it creates an inappropriate social environment for the kids who are the expected age for their grade.

Are you honestly saying a 7 year old has nothing in common with a 6 year old? You can't be serious. I would guess 70% of 1st graders will turn 7 during 1st grade.

A number of these kids turned 8 early this year, not 7. Whatever, deny it is an issue if you want, you are not there. Fortunately we are moving next year so it won't be an issue any more for us either.

We have two kids who turned 8 the past month or two in 1st. The rest are 6 and 7. Big difference between 6 and 8.

You are talking about 2 kids. As you mention the rest are 6 or 7. Are these two kids really having that big of an impact on the rest of the class?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

For parents with younger kids, unless your child lives for sports, the age differences tend to disappear as the children get older. Academically my child is top of the class. There are some social differences between the youngest and older kids, but they're less obvious in a school setting (although I think more obvious at things like school dances).

Disagree. I know a couple of people who regret sending their kids young--the comment: "Nobody told me about high school!"

Another kid I know was a fish out of water in high school. Very smart, good kid--but socially far behind the others--again, the youngest in his class--or at least, I assume so as the birthday was very late September. Preschool teacher and K teacher recommend another year=--but mom was insistent because he was "academically ready".

Each child is different. If you think your kid is not ready, wait a year--especially if the preschool teacher thinks so, too. Remember, that is where someone sees him interact with other kids.

He'd probably struggle just the same if he were held back a year.

I wonder about these examples that people post -- I know a child in high school or college who is immature. If only they'd been redshirted, then they wouldn't be immature. Wouldn't they still be immature if they were one year older in high school or college?

Anonymous wrote:

For parents with younger kids, unless your child lives for sports, the age differences tend to disappear as the children get older. Academically my child is top of the class. There are some social differences between the youngest and older kids, but they're less obvious in a school setting (although I think more obvious at things like school dances).

Disagree. I know a couple of people who regret sending their kids young--the comment: "Nobody told me about high school!"

Another kid I know was a fish out of water in high school. Very smart, good kid--but socially far behind the others--again, the youngest in his class--or at least, I assume so as the birthday was very late September. Preschool teacher and K teacher recommend another year=--but mom was insistent because he was "academically ready".

Each child is different. If you think your kid is not ready, wait a year--especially if the preschool teacher thinks so, too. Remember, that is where someone sees him interact with other kids.

He'd probably struggle just the same if he were held back a year.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Quite honestly there are worse problems then having a few kids in the class who are a bit older than the rest (which I agree with another poster - will matter less and less as the kids get older). Try going to a Title 1 school where the kids come in unprepared or not speaking English and see how your child fares in that classroom.

If this problem isn't as big as that problem, then we'll just ignore it and only focus on that problem. Only talk about one problem at a time.

Well I don't see redshirting as a problem so there's that.....

Of course, if this 15 year old is in special education, that is a different story, with possibility different educational trajectory.


Are you fine with an 8th grader driving? If he makes it to graduation, he will be 20 years old. Will you mind this 18 year old 10 grader dating your teen daughter?

How is that different from an 18 year old senior dating my daughter?

No different, but if your daughter is dating seniors she could be dating a 20 year old senior.