Anonymous
Post 08/15/2013 21:47     Subject: Aftercare is cruel to kindergarteners
Anonymous wrote:God. We make 380 too pp and no way could I afford all the stuff you do. I feel like we are struggling, even though I know, I know, we're not. Economics are so often left out of this discussion. It stupid because it isn't the elephant in the room -- it's the room. Giving up 200 k plus is a world different than a teacher or any other 50 k ish salary. It just is. Most of the sahms I know made less than 50 k and say what they will, the decision was based largely on money.


I'm the poster you are responding to. We do afford a lot on our income because we took advantage of the real estate market prior to 2006 and purchased 7 new build townhomes in Loudoun County in 2002-2003, we unloaded all of them in early 2006, right before the market busted. We walked away with a serious haul. We dumped a lot of that money into our home now and as a result, our mortgage is only $1500/mo in the Langley School district. So low mortgage, no school expenses and we are bringing in $18,000/mo in net income after retirement and insurance....so yes, I feel like we have lots of money to blow. In this area, if you can work yourself into a low mortgage, that seriously improves your cash flow.

So, no I certainly don't have to work, but I'm not trying to walk away from my contribution to the house, which is a net of 10K/month. Anyone is free to feel sorry for my kids, but they need no pity, they have a great life. I can't imagine that many SAHMs out there left 10K on the table per month to SAH. Most SAHMs I know are former teachers or non-profit people who had low salaries to start with. No way in hell would I work if I made under 100K/yr (in my current position, I'm not stupid, I know many people HAVE to work, no matter how low the income!).
Anonymous
Post 08/15/2013 20:26     Subject: Aftercare is cruel to kindergarteners
Anonymous wrote:No Bon Chon chicken is cruel for kindergarteners.


I'm at bon chon right now and absolutely agree
Anonymous
Post 08/15/2013 20:21     Subject: Aftercare is cruel to kindergarteners
No Bon Chon chicken is cruel for kindergarteners.
Anonymous
Post 08/15/2013 20:15     Subject: Aftercare is cruel to kindergarteners
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:YO! What in the last 2 pages has anything to do with aftercare?


Ask the wingnuts who've taken over. This thread is dead.


There is most definitely ONE wingnut. Her style is very one dimensional.
Anonymous
Post 08/15/2013 19:06     Subject: Aftercare is cruel to kindergarteners
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Canadians, your medications cost 1/4 of what we pay here, your government fixes the prices on brand medications and allows for importation of cheap generics before the Us patent on brands expires.


True. And how many new drugs has Canada come up with since they nationalized their drug industry?

Zero.


So wrong it's not even funny. But nice try.


Well, it's been a few years since I researched this. What are some of these Canadian drug innovations?


Who gives a shit if they came up with new drugs. Because they don't abide by the us patent laws they will get generics manufactured in India for a fraction of the price we will pay for the next 17 years while the patent is active.
Anonymous
Post 08/15/2013 13:55     Subject: Re:Aftercare is cruel to kindergarteners
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This thread is out of control. I'm so tired of the mommy wars. I see you everyday in my profession (ped). I see miserable moms who WOH, and see miserable moms who SAH. I see miserable kids whose parents WOH, and I see miserable kids whose parents SAH. I see happy kids whose parents provide them a safe place to live, structure, food, and love. I see happy kids whose parents aren't on their phones texting all the time (I see this with SAHMs more than WOHMs). You have to do what works best for your family.

I'd love for the OP to spend a day at work with me, watch her judge people-- she has NO idea why people make certain choices. NEVER judge a single mom- I had a patient who married the love of her life only to have her husband die in Afghanistan last year leaving her with four children. She's working now, and some of her kids are in childcare. And they are thriving. Not everyone is someone's baby mama. Only working so they can shop at Nordstroms? A nurse at our practice could have retired years ago, but the only reason she is still working is because her mother requires round the clock care that insurance doesn't cover and she isn't independently wealthy. I have some patients who have a parent working to afford special need healthcare expenses that aren't covered by insurance, not to have the latest and greatest. You really have no idea what is going on in the lives of most people, which is why there is no point in judging.

My own kids are in childcare four days a week. If they weren't, you wouldn't get an appointment with me after 2pm, which would mean you'd have to pull Larla out of school to see me, and take off work yourself. Doesn't seem to make much sense, right? Or I guess in your world I shouldn't even be working, had gone to school all those years- I should be home clipping coupons, depending on my husband (God forbid he were to get laid off or in an accident) for everything, sewing our clothes, and homeschooling. GET A JOB.


Um, hang on a sec. You come here to be the voice of reason, all "can't we all just get along?" and then at the end you hit us with "clipping coupons, depending on my husband for everything, sewing our clothes, and homeschooling. GET A JOB."

As a SAHM who spends all day caring for and educating (not homeschooling) her children, fuck you. Troll.


I had the same reaction. I worked when we had one child, now stay at home because our second has some major health issues. I was the main breadwinner for the first ten years of my marriage (DH was pursuing a PhD, then starting in his field). But I guess I walk into her line of sight, and she looks at me and thinks "mooch." I wonder if this is my neighbor who is a pediatrician - she's had no problem asking me to help out with her kids when her center closes unexpectedly. The first paragraph sounds like something I've heard her say before...

Whomever she is, I'd hate to be a SAHM with children in her practice.
Anonymous
Post 08/15/2013 13:41     Subject: Aftercare is cruel to kindergarteners
God. We make 380 too pp and no way could I afford all the stuff you do. I feel like we are struggling, even though I know, I know, we're not. Economics are so often left out of this discussion. It stupid because it isn't the elephant in the room -- it's the room. Giving up 200 k plus is a world different than a teacher or any other 50 k ish salary. It just is. Most of the sahms I know made less than 50 k and say what they will, the decision was based largely on money.
Anonymous
Post 08/15/2013 13:19     Subject: Aftercare is cruel to kindergarteners
Anonymous wrote:These are the same folks who will ship their kids off to sleep away camp for 8 weeks once they're out of diapers (and post all of the "fun" camp photo's on FB). The FB postings, of course, will take place while mom and dad are vacationing in Europe.....


Hmm. All parents who utilize aftercare ship their kids off to sleepaway camp when they're 3 and then go to Europe. What a totally factual statement!
Anonymous
Post 08/15/2013 13:14     Subject: Aftercare is cruel to kindergarteners
These are the same folks who will ship their kids off to sleep away camp for 8 weeks once they're out of diapers (and post all of the "fun" camp photo's on FB). The FB postings, of course, will take place while mom and dad are vacationing in Europe.....
Anonymous
Post 08/15/2013 13:10     Subject: Aftercare is cruel to kindergarteners
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yea, I work because I like having disposable income and lots of it. My husband makes 180k/yr and I make 200K and I'm not trying to forgo 200K/yr to SAH. If my earning potential had been sub 100K, no way in hell would I have returned to work.

Yes, I like having a beautiful home, a personal trainer, nice vacations, shopping at the farmers market, weekly date night, new clothes when I want, 2xs a week house cleaners.

I'm unashamed and completely confident in my choice and feel no need to justify it. I'm not going to pretend I'm a poor single mom just trying to make the ends meet. My children are now older and we have an AuPair because we need a driver to get them to all of their sports after school. Aftercare has been replaced with travel hockey and travel soccer.



Hence your need to justify it here.


Nope, no justification contained in my above statement. No excuse or altruistic reason working. I like working and I like having disposable income. It is not to "feed or clothe or house my family" I do not live in a small apartment. We could easily live on one income, we just don't want to. I don't need to justify it because there is nothing to justify. It is the same reason I do not justify why I drive an SUV. I drive one because I like it and I want to drive one, not because I need a utility vehicle. I don't even need the extra space. I simply saw it, I liked it, and I bought it.


And this attitude, people, is why I cannot wait to leave DC.


Why? It's better to pretend you can only buy a used American car?
Anonymous
Post 08/15/2013 13:09     Subject: Aftercare is cruel to kindergarteners
Anonymous wrote:Yea, I work because I like having disposable income and lots of it. My husband makes 180k/yr and I make 200K and I'm not trying to forgo 200K/yr to SAH. If my earning potential had been sub 100K, no way in hell would I have returned to work.

Yes, I like having a beautiful home, a personal trainer, nice vacations, shopping at the farmers market, weekly date night, new clothes when I want, 2xs a week house cleaners.

I'm unashamed and completely confident in my choice and feel no need to justify it. I'm not going to pretend I'm a poor single mom just trying to make the ends meet. My children are now older and we have an AuPair because we need a driver to get them to all of their sports after school. Aftercare has been replaced with travel hockey and travel soccer.



I'm with you baby!! Me too. I worked hard to get to the point where I earn $200K. And my kids sure are grateful for the good food and all the middle school and high school activities we can afford for them to do. I have one child gone from 7 am to 4:45 pm every weekday during the school year. WTH should I SAH?
Anonymous
Post 08/15/2013 12:50     Subject: Re:Aftercare is cruel to kindergarteners
Anonymous wrote:This thread is out of control. I'm so tired of the mommy wars. I see you everyday in my profession (ped). I see miserable moms who WOH, and see miserable moms who SAH. I see miserable kids whose parents WOH, and I see miserable kids whose parents SAH. I see happy kids whose parents provide them a safe place to live, structure, food, and love. I see happy kids whose parents aren't on their phones texting all the time (I see this with SAHMs more than WOHMs). You have to do what works best for your family.

I'd love for the OP to spend a day at work with me, watch her judge people-- she has NO idea why people make certain choices. NEVER judge a single mom- I had a patient who married the love of her life only to have her husband die in Afghanistan last year leaving her with four children. She's working now, and some of her kids are in childcare. And they are thriving. Not everyone is someone's baby mama. Only working so they can shop at Nordstroms? A nurse at our practice could have retired years ago, but the only reason she is still working is because her mother requires round the clock care that insurance doesn't cover and she isn't independently wealthy. I have some patients who have a parent working to afford special need healthcare expenses that aren't covered by insurance, not to have the latest and greatest. You really have no idea what is going on in the lives of most people, which is why there is no point in judging.

My own kids are in childcare four days a week. If they weren't, you wouldn't get an appointment with me after 2pm, which would mean you'd have to pull Larla out of school to see me, and take off work yourself. Doesn't seem to make much sense, right? Or I guess in your world I shouldn't even be working, had gone to school all those years- I should be home clipping coupons, depending on my husband (God forbid he were to get laid off or in an accident) for everything, sewing our clothes, and homeschooling. GET A JOB.


Um, hang on a sec. You come here to be the voice of reason, all "can't we all just get along?" and then at the end you hit us with "clipping coupons, depending on my husband for everything, sewing our clothes, and homeschooling. GET A JOB."

As a SAHM who spends all day caring for and educating (not homeschooling) her children, fuck you. Troll.
Anonymous
Post 08/15/2013 11:48     Subject: Aftercare is cruel to kindergarteners
Anonymous wrote:I thought that guy was not OP but rather the person who posted to tell people to stop feeding the troll...


This. OP is a bored SAHM.
Anonymous
Post 08/15/2013 11:20     Subject: Aftercare is cruel to kindergarteners
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Ok ladies. I'm sure that OP has left the building. She came, she trolled, and she left. It's such a nice day outside...please move along.

Wow. I posted this in the early afternoon and then left work, played 9 holes, went to happy hour, came home for dinner with DS and DW, played w/DS, put him to sleep, then fired up the laptop to see what's going on in DCUM-land. I see that you ladies are still trying to claw each other's eyes out. One zinger after another. Some of you haven't stopped thinking about this thread all day. What a waste of a great August day. Cmon girls, get your acts together. IT'S NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL. Kindergarden lasts for 1 year. After that, kids are usually in afterschool activities. Why are you getting so worked up about this topic?


I'm awfully glad that we have men to explain things to us women. Women get so muddled, what with our poor little fluffy lady-brains.


+1

Hey genius man, why don't you explain to your fellow C-suite execs that we are in line with a handful of third world countries as the only ones that offer NO paid maternity benefits. Our childcare systems sucks. Change the patriarchal culture that STILL works against women. Put up or shut up because, as a man, you have NO FUCKING CLUE what it is like to be a working woman and balance it all. I'm guessing your wife is a SAHM so you're not even a progressive, modern man who's trying to balance two careers with children. When you've BTDT, come back. Until then, put a sock in it.

I'm "that genius man" with the first 2 PPs. Actually, I don't have any fellow C-suite execs but my wife is a lawyer and executive at her company. So no, she is not a SAHM. We both work full-time and she makes more than me. We handle childcard for our toddler 50/50 but she does the drop off and pick up since he goes to daycare near her work. When he is in school, we will take full advantage of aftercare and I'm sure he will love it.
Anonymous
Post 08/15/2013 10:39     Subject: Aftercare is cruel to kindergarteners
Anonymous wrote:I thought that guy was not OP but rather the person who posted to tell people to stop feeding the troll...


Oops, I stand corrected. I misinterpreted the "I posted this" comment.