OP here

The update is that the baby is home with her. My oldest son is staying with the younger one this whole week. Younger son came by yesterday morning ahead of the snow and picked up a bunch of the stuff I accumulated in the last several days. The plan is for my two sons to drive to her address and deliver it all.

My son was supremely unhappy with me that I had told his adult sister about the baby (she lives at my address) but it was otherwise kind of hard to explain why the front hall was suddenly filled with diapers car seat cases of formula. He’s also not thrilled that I helped his gf fill out the birth certificate she needed to complete before discharge on Saturday (by text) his place of birth, social etc.

A paternity test has not been completed yet, but he’s not contesting it.

Right now I’ve done about all I can and it’s my turn to step back. He doesn’t want me to do anything else for the time being and I just said I hear you, I respect that and I understand. He’s got to grow up fast and my presence and involvement at this particular time isn’t helping that move forward.

Still a lot of questions about how this happened. Yes bc pills are hormonal birth control but you can skip pills, it’s not as reliable as as something like an implant or an IUD. I once got pregnant while on birth control. My neighbor got pregnant with an IUD in place. They couldn’t remove it without jeopardizing the pregnancy so she carried the IUD all the way up through delivery.

My ex is still somehow of the mind that this was all planned on her part, but I don’t really see how no prenatal care and continuing to live the life of a mid 20s with a social life is some kind of master plan. She could have had the same result just announcing early and refusing to terminate.

This is the most traumatic “master birth plan” I could come up with.

Like a lot of women I’ve been pregnant before so there are definitely lots of other questions but I am not the one who needs to be asking them.

The easiest part of right now is that I’m not involved in caring for a newborn. All I did is buy stuff. The harder part is having to sit back and do the “nothing else” part he asked of me. Can’t tell anyone else. I live in fear of my ex MIL somehow getting wind of this and asking me questions I literally can’t answer. I’m mostly just planning on not responding, since I can’t come up with any response in my head that doesn’t violate my son’s privacy and give up the game.

The baby’s mom has been texting me pictures. He’s a lovely baby. You could swap any picture of Kevin out with my son as a newborn. Identical head shape, features, expression, light hair (she’s got dark brown hair).

Anyway, hope everyone survived the snow, it looks like we have around 2 feet. Nothing to do but hang out.

Peace out! OP

Anonymous wrote:Your mid 20s son tells you his girlfriend of a year is pregnant and wants your advice.

They don’t know how far along she is and they have a joint appointment at planned parenthood in the next 48 hours.

What would you actually say?

What is your plan?

Anonymous wrote:I am invested in OP's son.

Why?

Her son is stupid he was old enough to know how BC works.

32 weeks hell no. Something is off.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why get married ??????

For what reason?

The US healthcare system just means that the father who didn't expect a pregnancy now signs up for up to a half a million in debt.

Father signed up when he deposited his sperm. Marrying or not marrying is irrelevant.

Not quite. Paying money is one thing. Parenting is another. Nobody should be forced to be a parent.

True and nobody should be forced to be a mom or an unwanted child either.

+1

I am invested in OP's son.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Done with you and this thread.
You can have truth now or truth later. L8R

It's an anonymous forum

No one cares or has any investment in what you or OP do or say

Grow the F up

Speak for yourself. I’m invested in Kevin and his Grandma!

*in a follow up post

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where does it say she has a good job and insurance?

Exactly. We have not heard much about the "girlfriend." Does the OP know/like her?

In original post, OP said GF is nice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why get married ??????

For what reason?

The US healthcare system just means that the father who didn't expect a pregnancy now signs up for up to a half a million in debt.

Father signed up when he deposited his sperm. Marrying or not marrying is irrelevant.

Not quite. Paying money is one thing. Parenting is another. Nobody should be forced to be a parent.

True and nobody should be forced to be a mom or an unwanted child either.

Anonymous wrote:Done with you and this thread.
You can have truth now or truth later. L8R

OK ??????????

Just go hang out on other subs ??????

Anonymous wrote:Done with you and this thread.
You can have truth now or truth later. L8R

It's an anonymous forum

No one cares or has any investment in what you or OP do or say

Grow the F up

Done with you and this thread.
You can have truth now or truth later. L8R

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whilst OP of both threads
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/30/1310958.page
is busy nesting by proxy, any word and when the paternity test results are expected?

Love the "nesting by proxy." And would love to have an update on the paternity test.

It's my son's child

He knows it. His dad knows it. He knows I know it. And that anyone looking at the baby picture knows it.

It's also all going to be OK.

Is that a scientific result or gut?
Sure it will be ok if he isn't forced by guilting to do anything he is not legally required to do and does mot choose to do. Men have choices too. Some people condemn a woman's choice not to be a parent. Some condemn a man's choice not to be a parent.

I guess it's like how you see Brooklyn Beckham and know he's the exact copy of both his parents

Like, we all have eyes, and, hopefully lots of human experience to have a fundamental sense of what has occurred

I am reminded of when John Edwards had an extramarital affair with Rielle Hunter and his then wife said "it doesn't look like any of my kids" on Oprah but that child who is probably of adult age today absolutely looked like John Edwards

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why get married ??????

For what reason?

The US healthcare system just means that the father who didn't expect a pregnancy now signs up for up to a half a million in debt.

Father signed up when he deposited his sperm. Marrying or not marrying is irrelevant.

Not quite. Paying money is one thing. Parenting is another. Nobody should be forced to be a parent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whilst OP of both threads
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/30/1310958.page
is busy nesting by proxy, any word and when the paternity test results are expected?

Love the "nesting by proxy." And would love to have an update on the paternity test.

It's my son's child

He knows it. His dad knows it. He knows I know it. And that anyone looking at the baby picture knows it.

It's also all going to be OK.

Is that a scientific result or gut?
Sure it will be ok if he isn't forced by guilting to do anything he is not legally required to do and does mot choose to do. Men have choices too. Some people condemn a woman's choice not to be a parent. Some condemn a man's choice not to be a parent.