Anonymous wrote:My family member is like this with spreadsheets and laundering all bedding before putting our bedding on beds. Cleaning before we e tee rental house. Cleaning and laundering all week. Dinner rotation. I couldn’t call stink anymore with them. The resentment would glow from her eyes if I wasn’t cleaning, sweeping up sand, etc. I told my husband that is no vacation no more.

I am like you in that I like my vacations to be relaxing. Sometimes my vacation house looks a bit chaotic, that’s because I am also on vacation and I don’t want to spend it picking up after my husband and kids. I have a friend who would spend much of her vacation cleaning, etc. and when I would vacation with her, I stepped it up as I did not want her to be uncomfortable with my more relaxed standards. as a result I no longer stay in the same house as her and we are perfectly content. When we happen to be in the Outer Banks at the same time, we meet up and take the kids to the beach together or mini golf together, but we do not stay in the same house

If the cousin doesn’t want to abide by the house expectations, she is welcome to go across the street and stay at her brothers house.

Anonymous wrote:I just think the lowest conflict way to handle this would be to say, cuz, we love you and want you around, but it’s just hard to have three families with so many kids on one house. We would like you to stay at your brothers or at your house and then come by to hang out, go to the beach, etc. That way it is easier to handle chores etc between two families rather than three.

I'd be careful doing this--then the cousin is there from sun up to sun down without any expectation of pitching in. I'd say we'd love to meet you at the beach from X time to X time, and extend a dinner invite at a restaurant for one night.