Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We were invited to my wife’s cousin wedding in Michigan. Our 2yo was not. The hotel was a 20 min drive from the Wedding venue. They offered to find a sitter to stay at hotel with DD but we said no. None of us went to the Wedding. I think they have a right to say no kids, but parents have the right to decline also and it shouldn’t upset the bride/groom.

I agree with this entirely, and something tells me this bride and groom are not going to be upset if OP declines.

Some people care. No one from our side of the family (other than my parents) went to my sister’s child-free wedding five years ago, and she is still salty about it.
It wasn’t a protest or anything. The logistics were just too difficult. It was a thousand miles away, and it was hard to find childcare to go.
Then, when our cousins weren’t going, our aunts and uncles started dropping out of going, and our grandparents and great-aunts/uncles didn’t want to fly out in their own, so no one ended up going. We did have a separate family party that night and Skype in to the wedding, so we did make an effort, but she was still mad.

Omg. Please tell me this is a joke. NO ONE in your family attended your sister’s (!!!) wedding, and then instead you all got together and had a party without her and Skyped into the wedding to show her??? I just...wow. “The logistics were too difficult.” For everyone. I feel sorry for your sister, first that she dealt with all this in the first place, and second for the fact that you’re butthurt she wasn’t happy about it.

+1

This is dysfunctional as hell. I’m sure your sister felt like the family outcast. My mother does not base her decision to attend someone’s wedding on whether I go or not, or vice versa.

And then you all got together, had a family party during your sister’s wedding, and Skyped in to show her...what, exactly?

This is the side of the family that will “not understand” why sister spends Christmases with her husbands family (the ones who attended the wedding)

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t leave my kids with “local sitters.” No thanks. Nothing like leaving your kids at the home of an absolute stranger. I don’t understand who does this?

Just don’t go. Wish them well and send a nice gift. I am not putting my kids in a strange home for their vanity.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We were invited to my wife’s cousin wedding in Michigan. Our 2yo was not. The hotel was a 20 min drive from the Wedding venue. They offered to find a sitter to stay at hotel with DD but we said no. None of us went to the Wedding. I think they have a right to say no kids, but parents have the right to decline also and it shouldn’t upset the bride/groom.

I agree with this entirely, and something tells me this bride and groom are not going to be upset if OP declines.

Some people care. No one from our side of the family (other than my parents) went to my sister’s child-free wedding five years ago, and she is still salty about it.
It wasn’t a protest or anything. The logistics were just too difficult. It was a thousand miles away, and it was hard to find childcare to go.
Then, when our cousins weren’t going, our aunts and uncles started dropping out of going, and our grandparents and great-aunts/uncles didn’t want to fly out in their own, so no one ended up going. We did have a separate family party that night and Skype in to the wedding, so we did make an effort, but she was still mad.

Omg. Please tell me this is a joke. NO ONE in your family attended your sister’s (!!!) wedding, and then instead you all got together and had a party without her and Skyped into the wedding to show her??? I just...wow. “The logistics were too difficult.” For everyone. I feel sorry for your sister, first that she dealt with all this in the first place, and second for the fact that you’re butthurt she wasn’t happy about it.

+1

This is dysfunctional as hell. I’m sure your sister felt like the family outcast. My mother does not base her decision to attend someone’s wedding on whether I go or not, or vice versa.

And then you all got together, had a family party during your sister’s wedding, and Skyped in to show her...what, exactly?

This is the side of the family that will “not understand” why sister spends Christmases with her husbands family (the ones who attended the wedding)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ask her to provide a list of local sitters.

Nobody wants to drop their kids off with some random local sitter.

I don't think it's "rude" to have a child free wedding, but it's short sighted and doesn't take into consideration what out of town guests will do with their kids. ,But OP, if the first part of your post is true, just let go of the negative feelings you have and go by yourself.

It's not about a bride and groom jumoung through hoops for every single guests. I did what I could, but I couldn't anticipate every single need for child care, work schedules, elder care, connecting flights, every single persons budget and leave schedules, etc. I focused on wedding logistics and accessibility issues for my guests with different abilities. That was enough to manage.

My plans didn't work for you? That's what the "sends regrets" line was for. No hard feelings on my end. If you had hard feelings, oh well. I was t planning a family reunion or a mass play date.

It's fine. You're fine. You took into account the fact that not inviting kids might mean out of town couples can't come. It will be easier for op to make the decision, knowing the bride and groom are expecting them to probably not make it. I don't know why you're so defensive about it though.

You don't understand why 25 pages of at least half the posters telling people who didn't provide babysitting and/or invite kids to their wedding that they are rude, heartless, anti-kid, anti-family, selfish and "missing the point of weddings" would make someone a wee bit defensive?

Huh. How interesting that you don't grasp that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It IS sad that people have lost sight of what wedding celebrations are about. Hint: not a money grabbing occasion where you pretend to be a princess. But, people reveal their values in their plans.

It is about the bride and groom. It is not about you or extended family.

I guess it depends on the viewpoint. As a bride, my day was about celebrating with friends and loved ones and doing everything I could to be a great host, which included making out of town guests as comfortable as possible.

I think it's hilarious that people will spend endless hours scouring Pinterest looking for items for welcome bags and favors and other things, that much more about making themselves look good and clever than about making their guests comfortable.

Bless your heart.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It IS sad that people have lost sight of what wedding celebrations are about. Hint: not a money grabbing occasion where you pretend to be a princess. But, people reveal their values in their plans.

It is about the bride and groom. It is not about you or extended family.

I guess it depends on the viewpoint. As a bride, my day was about celebrating with friends and loved ones and doing everything I could to be a great host, which included making out of town guests as comfortable as possible.

I think it's hilarious that people will spend endless hours scouring Pinterest looking for items for welcome bags and favors and other things, that much more about making themselves look good and clever than about making their guests comfortable.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It IS sad that people have lost sight of what wedding celebrations are about. Hint: not a money grabbing occasion where you pretend to be a princess. But, people reveal their values in their plans.

You must be my SIL. How typical that you assume everyone has the traditions and expectations that you have. How typical that if someone disagrees with you, their motives are greedy or lacking character. Your posturing may work with your DH and kids but we see through your BS. It is, frankly, a relief when you choose not to attend our gatherings/events because you don't get your way.

DP here. You sound catty and controlling and if you “see though someone’s BS” it’s because you wrote the book. Takes one to know one.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It IS sad that people have lost sight of what wedding celebrations are about. Hint: not a money grabbing occasion where you pretend to be a princess. But, people reveal their values in their plans.

It is about the bride and groom. It is not about you or extended family.

Anonymous wrote:It IS sad that people have lost sight of what wedding celebrations are about. Hint: not a money grabbing occasion where you pretend to be a princess. But, people reveal their values in their plans.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ask her to provide a list of local sitters.

Nobody wants to drop their kids off with some random local sitter.

I don't think it's "rude" to have a child free wedding, but it's short sighted and doesn't take into consideration what out of town guests will do with their kids. ,But OP, if the first part of your post is true, just let go of the negative feelings you have and go by yourself.

It's not about a bride and groom jumoung through hoops for every single guests. I did what I could, but I couldn't anticipate every single need for child care, work schedules, elder care, connecting flights, every single persons budget and leave schedules, etc. I focused on wedding logistics and accessibility issues for my guests with different abilities. That was enough to manage.

My plans didn't work for you? That's what the "sends regrets" line was for. No hard feelings on my end. If you had hard feelings, oh well. I was t planning a family reunion or a mass play date.

It's fine. You're fine. You took into account the fact that not inviting kids might mean out of town couples can't come. It will be easier for op to make the decision, knowing the bride and groom are expecting them to probably not make it. I don't know why you're so defensive about it though.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We were invited to my wife’s cousin wedding in Michigan. Our 2yo was not. The hotel was a 20 min drive from the Wedding venue. They offered to find a sitter to stay at hotel with DD but we said no. None of us went to the Wedding. I think they have a right to say no kids, but parents have the right to decline also and it shouldn’t upset the bride/groom.

I agree with this entirely, and something tells me this bride and groom are not going to be upset if OP declines.

Some people care. No one from our side of the family (other than my parents) went to my sister’s child-free wedding five years ago, and she is still salty about it.
It wasn’t a protest or anything. The logistics were just too difficult. It was a thousand miles away, and it was hard to find childcare to go.
Then, when our cousins weren’t going, our aunts and uncles started dropping out of going, and our grandparents and great-aunts/uncles didn’t want to fly out in their own, so no one ended up going. We did have a separate family party that night and Skype in to the wedding, so we did make an effort, but she was still mad.

Omg. Please tell me this is a joke. NO ONE in your family attended your sister’s (!!!) wedding, and then instead you all got together and had a party without her and Skyped into the wedding to show her??? I just...wow. “The logistics were too difficult.” For everyone. I feel sorry for your sister, first that she dealt with all this in the first place, and second for the fact that you’re butthurt she wasn’t happy about it.

+1

This is dysfunctional as hell. I’m sure your sister felt like the family outcast. My mother does not base her decision to attend someone’s wedding on whether I go or not, or vice versa.

And then you all got together, had a family party during your sister’s wedding, and Skyped in to show her...what, exactly?

Anonymous wrote:It IS sad that people have lost sight of what wedding celebrations are about. Hint: not a money grabbing occasion where you pretend to be a princess. But, people reveal their values in their plans.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ask her to provide a list of local sitters.

Nobody wants to drop their kids off with some random local sitter.

I don't think it's "rude" to have a child free wedding, but it's short sighted and doesn't take into consideration what out of town guests will do with their kids. ,But OP, if the first part of your post is true, just let go of the negative feelings you have and go by yourself.

It's not about a bride and groom jumoung through hoops for every single guests. I did what I could, but I couldn't anticipate every single need for child care, work schedules, elder care, connecting flights, every single persons budget and leave schedules, etc. I focused on wedding logistics and accessibility issues for my guests with different abilities. That was enough to manage.

My plans didn't work for you? That's what the "sends regrets" line was for. No hard feelings on my end. If you had hard feelings, oh well. I was t planning a family reunion or a mass play date.