Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After 10 years in a smaller progressive private, DC is moving on to one of the Big 3 in September. The entire application process for high school was a tremendous time sink and pretty silly. We were astonished by the school that not only asked where we went to college, but where the grandparents graduated, and open houses with hundreds of families when only 20 or 30 seats were available.

Unless your family is conscientious about making social and economic class visible, it is easy for private school children to take their enormous privilege for granted. PP is right that there has been almost no exposure to true middle class or working class families. While I never saw a hint of FA families and students being treated differently, sleepovers and parties were never hosted at their homes. Families on the edge of affordability at privates tend to quietly slip away and disappear so there's no real sense of how hard it is to afford $25-35k/year tuition. And, upper middle-class families can easily think they are less privileged than they really are.

Diversity throughout the private school system is an ongoing challenge. There tend to be fewer teachers and administrators of color than students of color. Though students are about as diverse as the elite colleges, year-over-year retention among individual African-American and Latino families is poor. At the same time, private school can also teach white children that black and brown children may come from better educated and more powerful families than their own.

DC's current school is relatively relaxed, but being involved in the school community was time consuming. Privates tend to lean much more on parent help with social and extra-curricular activities and that was a real challenge since we both work. There are parents who rely on the school community for their social life and they can be easy targets to make fun but, that happens in public schools too.

The pluses for us are easy to count. First, privates aren't part of a big large public bureaucracy. Negotiating with the school about my child's individual needs has been easy. At a public school, it would be like going to the DMV. No time has been wasted on preparing for standardized tests and my child's education has never been affected because others are slower (or faster). Second, we chose a school that fit our family's (non)beliefs. The school helped us teach DC strong values without resorting to faith. We didn't have to deal with creationism or families opposed to sex ed or parents freaked out by YA novels, let alone teachers that need to proselytize. Third, the school has helped us inculcate a sense of learning for its own sake. To the extent DC is academically competitive, it is driven internally, not externally by the school. And the school has been instrumental in helping value curiosity and questioning as important character traits. While teaching quality may vary, in DC's high school, the literature and history curricula are far more challenging and interesting than the typical public school AP tracks.

ab


Really, astonished that they ask about college? They want to know where your child has a hook for college. If there is an ivy league hook even better.

It is also about donations.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After 10 years in a smaller progressive private, DC is moving on to one of the Big 3 in September. The entire application process for high school was a tremendous time sink and pretty silly. We were astonished by the school that not only asked where we went to college, but where the grandparents graduated, and open houses with hundreds of families when only 20 or 30 seats were available.

Unless your family is conscientious about making social and economic class visible, it is easy for private school children to take their enormous privilege for granted. PP is right that there has been almost no exposure to true middle class or working class families. While I never saw a hint of FA families and students being treated differently, sleepovers and parties were never hosted at their homes. Families on the edge of affordability at privates tend to quietly slip away and disappear so there's no real sense of how hard it is to afford $25-35k/year tuition. And, upper middle-class families can easily think they are less privileged than they really are.

Diversity throughout the private school system is an ongoing challenge. There tend to be fewer teachers and administrators of color than students of color. Though students are about as diverse as the elite colleges, year-over-year retention among individual African-American and Latino families is poor. At the same time, private school can also teach white children that black and brown children may come from better educated and more powerful families than their own.

DC's current school is relatively relaxed, but being involved in the school community was time consuming. Privates tend to lean much more on parent help with social and extra-curricular activities and that was a real challenge since we both work. There are parents who rely on the school community for their social life and they can be easy targets to make fun but, that happens in public schools too.

The pluses for us are easy to count. First, privates aren't part of a big large public bureaucracy. Negotiating with the school about my child's individual needs has been easy. At a public school, it would be like going to the DMV. No time has been wasted on preparing for standardized tests and my child's education has never been affected because others are slower (or faster). Second, we chose a school that fit our family's (non)beliefs. The school helped us teach DC strong values without resorting to faith. We didn't have to deal with creationism or families opposed to sex ed or parents freaked out by YA novels, let alone teachers that need to proselytize. Third, the school has helped us inculcate a sense of learning for its own sake. To the extent DC is academically competitive, it is driven internally, not externally by the school. And the school has been instrumental in helping value curiosity and questioning as important character traits. While teaching quality may vary, in DC's high school, the literature and history curricula are far more challenging and interesting than the typical public school AP tracks.

Thank you for your perspective!

DS is about to start at a Big 3 with major FA. I'm going to make it a point to host as many parties and sleepovers as I can in our tiny urban rowhouse. I want him to know that having more or less money is nothing to be proud/ashamed of -- it just is.

Good luck with the party/sleepover hosting, let me guess you're just starting out and DS is in pk-3? Hopefully, your DS will not be made to feel ashamed at school. The kids talk about what they have and where they're going on vacation constantly. During all of their bragging, will DS captively listen, try to ignore them, or to save face and contribute to the conversation will he lie?

Wait...where you being sarcastic?

Anonymous wrote:After 10 years in a smaller progressive private, DC is moving on to one of the Big 3 in September. The entire application process for high school was a tremendous time sink and pretty silly. We were astonished by the school that not only asked where we went to college, but where the grandparents graduated, and open houses with hundreds of families when only 20 or 30 seats were available.

Unless your family is conscientious about making social and economic class visible, it is easy for private school children to take their enormous privilege for granted. PP is right that there has been almost no exposure to true middle class or working class families. While I never saw a hint of FA families and students being treated differently, sleepovers and parties were never hosted at their homes. Families on the edge of affordability at privates tend to quietly slip away and disappear so there's no real sense of how hard it is to afford $25-35k/year tuition. And, upper middle-class families can easily think they are less privileged than they really are.

Diversity throughout the private school system is an ongoing challenge. There tend to be fewer teachers and administrators of color than students of color. Though students are about as diverse as the elite colleges, year-over-year retention among individual African-American and Latino families is poor. At the same time, private school can also teach white children that black and brown children may come from better educated and more powerful families than their own.

DC's current school is relatively relaxed, but being involved in the school community was time consuming. Privates tend to lean much more on parent help with social and extra-curricular activities and that was a real challenge since we both work. There are parents who rely on the school community for their social life and they can be easy targets to make fun but, that happens in public schools too.

The pluses for us are easy to count. First, privates aren't part of a big large public bureaucracy. Negotiating with the school about my child's individual needs has been easy. At a public school, it would be like going to the DMV. No time has been wasted on preparing for standardized tests and my child's education has never been affected because others are slower (or faster). Second, we chose a school that fit our family's (non)beliefs. The school helped us teach DC strong values without resorting to faith. We didn't have to deal with creationism or families opposed to sex ed or parents freaked out by YA novels, let alone teachers that need to proselytize. Third, the school has helped us inculcate a sense of learning for its own sake. To the extent DC is academically competitive, it is driven internally, not externally by the school. And the school has been instrumental in helping value curiosity and questioning as important character traits. While teaching quality may vary, in DC's high school, the literature and history curricula are far more challenging and interesting than the typical public school AP tracks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After 10 years in a smaller progressive private, DC is moving on to one of the Big 3 in September. The entire application process for high school was a tremendous time sink and pretty silly. We were astonished by the school that not only asked where we went to college, but where the grandparents graduated, and open houses with hundreds of families when only 20 or 30 seats were available.

Unless your family is conscientious about making social and economic class visible, it is easy for private school children to take their enormous privilege for granted. PP is right that there has been almost no exposure to true middle class or working class families. While I never saw a hint of FA families and students being treated differently, sleepovers and parties were never hosted at their homes. Families on the edge of affordability at privates tend to quietly slip away and disappear so there's no real sense of how hard it is to afford $25-35k/year tuition. And, upper middle-class families can easily think they are less privileged than they really are.

Diversity throughout the private school system is an ongoing challenge. There tend to be fewer teachers and administrators of color than students of color. Though students are about as diverse as the elite colleges, year-over-year retention among individual African-American and Latino families is poor. At the same time, private school can also teach white children that black and brown children may come from better educated and more powerful families than their own.

DC's current school is relatively relaxed, but being involved in the school community was time consuming. Privates tend to lean much more on parent help with social and extra-curricular activities and that was a real challenge since we both work. There are parents who rely on the school community for their social life and they can be easy targets to make fun but, that happens in public schools too.

The pluses for us are easy to count. First, privates aren't part of a big large public bureaucracy. Negotiating with the school about my child's individual needs has been easy. At a public school, it would be like going to the DMV. No time has been wasted on preparing for standardized tests and my child's education has never been affected because others are slower (or faster). Second, we chose a school that fit our family's (non)beliefs. The school helped us teach DC strong values without resorting to faith. We didn't have to deal with creationism or families opposed to sex ed or parents freaked out by YA novels, let alone teachers that need to proselytize. Third, the school has helped us inculcate a sense of learning for its own sake. To the extent DC is academically competitive, it is driven internally, not externally by the school. And the school has been instrumental in helping value curiosity and questioning as important character traits. While teaching quality may vary, in DC's high school, the literature and history curricula are far more challenging and interesting than the typical public school AP tracks.

Thank you for your perspective!

DS is about to start at a Big 3 with major FA. I'm going to make it a point to host as many parties and sleepovers as I can in our tiny urban rowhouse. I want him to know that having more or less money is nothing to be proud/ashamed of -- it just is.

Good luck with the party/sleepover hosting, let me guess you're just starting out and DS is in pk-3? Hopefully, your DS will not be made to feel ashamed at school. The kids talk about what they have and where they're going on vacation constantly. During all of their bragging, will DS captively listen, try to ignore them, or to save face and contribute to the conversation will he lie?

Wait...where you being sarcastic?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After 10 years in a smaller progressive private, DC is moving on to one of the Big 3 in September. The entire application process for high school was a tremendous time sink and pretty silly. We were astonished by the school that not only asked where we went to college, but where the grandparents graduated, and open houses with hundreds of families when only 20 or 30 seats were available.

Unless your family is conscientious about making social and economic class visible, it is easy for private school children to take their enormous privilege for granted. PP is right that there has been almost no exposure to true middle class or working class families. While I never saw a hint of FA families and students being treated differently, sleepovers and parties were never hosted at their homes. Families on the edge of affordability at privates tend to quietly slip away and disappear so there's no real sense of how hard it is to afford $25-35k/year tuition. And, upper middle-class families can easily think they are less privileged than they really are.

Diversity throughout the private school system is an ongoing challenge. There tend to be fewer teachers and administrators of color than students of color. Though students are about as diverse as the elite colleges, year-over-year retention among individual African-American and Latino families is poor. At the same time, private school can also teach white children that black and brown children may come from better educated and more powerful families than their own.

DC's current school is relatively relaxed, but being involved in the school community was time consuming. Privates tend to lean much more on parent help with social and extra-curricular activities and that was a real challenge since we both work. There are parents who rely on the school community for their social life and they can be easy targets to make fun but, that happens in public schools too.

The pluses for us are easy to count. First, privates aren't part of a big large public bureaucracy. Negotiating with the school about my child's individual needs has been easy. At a public school, it would be like going to the DMV. No time has been wasted on preparing for standardized tests and my child's education has never been affected because others are slower (or faster). Second, we chose a school that fit our family's (non)beliefs. The school helped us teach DC strong values without resorting to faith. We didn't have to deal with creationism or families opposed to sex ed or parents freaked out by YA novels, let alone teachers that need to proselytize. Third, the school has helped us inculcate a sense of learning for its own sake. To the extent DC is academically competitive, it is driven internally, not externally by the school. And the school has been instrumental in helping value curiosity and questioning as important character traits. While teaching quality may vary, in DC's high school, the literature and history curricula are far more challenging and interesting than the typical public school AP tracks.

Thank you for your perspective!

DS is about to start at a Big 3 with major FA. I'm going to make it a point to host as many parties and sleepovers as I can in our tiny urban rowhouse. I want him to know that having more or less money is nothing to be proud/ashamed of -- it just is.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are about to end a long run at one of the Big 3 as our youngest graduates this spring. Over 10 years of paying two tuitions for our DCs and we have concluded that it was just not worth it in terms of dollars and collateral damage to the family experience of raising children/enjoying the formative years. Before there is a sour grapes allegation, understand that both of our DCs did well in school and in athletics and have gone/will go to top tier SLACs/Ivies. It is the empty feeling at the end of the day that a great sum was spent and lots of together time was lost in pursuit of some ineffable token of accomplishment/attainment. Perhaps the passage of time will reveal the intrinsic value of the Big 3 diploma and the hopefully valuable contacts that come from the friends made. Really hope that happens. Private school major plusses: small classes, higher achieving group of students (generally) and sports teams where there is a good chance to play. Private school major negatives: extremely competitive social and academic culture that is exacerbated by a large percentage of helicopter parents, overexposure to uber-wealthy families and corresponding lack of exposure to many working class families. I am sure that many private school families believe the teaching is better, but I can't say that was our experience.

I'm curious about your statement of time lost. I can understand the point about spending so much, but how does private school take away from family time more than public school does?

Anonymous wrote:After 10 years in a smaller progressive private, DC is moving on to one of the Big 3 in September. The entire application process for high school was a tremendous time sink and pretty silly. We were astonished by the school that not only asked where we went to college, but where the grandparents graduated, and open houses with hundreds of families when only 20 or 30 seats were available.

Unless your family is conscientious about making social and economic class visible, it is easy for private school children to take their enormous privilege for granted. PP is right that there has been almost no exposure to true middle class or working class families. While I never saw a hint of FA families and students being treated differently, sleepovers and parties were never hosted at their homes. Families on the edge of affordability at privates tend to quietly slip away and disappear so there's no real sense of how hard it is to afford $25-35k/year tuition. And, upper middle-class families can easily think they are less privileged than they really are.

Diversity throughout the private school system is an ongoing challenge. There tend to be fewer teachers and administrators of color than students of color. Though students are about as diverse as the elite colleges, year-over-year retention among individual African-American and Latino families is poor. At the same time, private school can also teach white children that black and brown children may come from better educated and more powerful families than their own.

DC's current school is relatively relaxed, but being involved in the school community was time consuming. Privates tend to lean much more on parent help with social and extra-curricular activities and that was a real challenge since we both work. There are parents who rely on the school community for their social life and they can be easy targets to make fun but, that happens in public schools too.

The pluses for us are easy to count. First, privates aren't part of a big large public bureaucracy. Negotiating with the school about my child's individual needs has been easy. At a public school, it would be like going to the DMV. No time has been wasted on preparing for standardized tests and my child's education has never been affected because others are slower (or faster). Second, we chose a school that fit our family's (non)beliefs. The school helped us teach DC strong values without resorting to faith. We didn't have to deal with creationism or families opposed to sex ed or parents freaked out by YA novels, let alone teachers that need to proselytize. Third, the school has helped us inculcate a sense of learning for its own sake. To the extent DC is academically competitive, it is driven internally, not externally by the school. And the school has been instrumental in helping value curiosity and questioning as important character traits. While teaching quality may vary, in DC's high school, the literature and history curricula are far more challenging and interesting than the typical public school AP tracks.

Anonymous wrote:

The pluses for us are easy to count. First, privates aren't part of a big large public bureaucracy. Negotiating with the school about my child's individual needs has been easy. At a public school, it would be like going to the DMV. No time has been wasted on preparing for standardized tests and my child's education has never been affected because others are slower (or faster). Second, we chose a school that fit our family's (non)beliefs. The school helped us teach DC strong values without resorting to faith. We didn't have to deal with creationism or families opposed to sex ed or parents freaked out by YA novels, let alone teachers that need to proselytize. Third, the school has helped us inculcate a sense of learning for its own sake. To the extent DC is academically competitive, it is driven internally, not externally by the school. And the school has been instrumental in helping value curiosity and questioning as important character traits. While teaching quality may vary, in DC's high school, the literature and history curricula are far more challenging and interesting than the typical public school AP tracks.

Anonymous wrote:After 10 years in a smaller progressive private, DC is moving on to one of the Big 3 in September. The entire application process for high school was a tremendous time sink and pretty silly. We were astonished by the school that not only asked where we went to college, but where the grandparents graduated, and open houses with hundreds of families when only 20 or 30 seats were available.

Unless your family is conscientious about making social and economic class visible, it is easy for private school children to take their enormous privilege for granted. PP is right that there has been almost no exposure to true middle class or working class families. While I never saw a hint of FA families and students being treated differently, sleepovers and parties were never hosted at their homes. Families on the edge of affordability at privates tend to quietly slip away and disappear so there's no real sense of how hard it is to afford $25-35k/year tuition. And, upper middle-class families can easily think they are less privileged than they really are.

Diversity throughout the private school system is an ongoing challenge. There tend to be fewer teachers and administrators of color than students of color. Though students are about as diverse as the elite colleges, year-over-year retention among individual African-American and Latino families is poor. At the same time, private school can also teach white children that black and brown children may come from better educated and more powerful families than their own.

DC's current school is relatively relaxed, but being involved in the school community was time consuming. Privates tend to lean much more on parent help with social and extra-curricular activities and that was a real challenge since we both work. There are parents who rely on the school community for their social life and they can be easy targets to make fun but, that happens in public schools too.

The pluses for us are easy to count. First, privates aren't part of a big large public bureaucracy. Negotiating with the school about my child's individual needs has been easy. At a public school, it would be like going to the DMV. No time has been wasted on preparing for standardized tests and my child's education has never been affected because others are slower (or faster). Second, we chose a school that fit our family's (non)beliefs. The school helped us teach DC strong values without resorting to faith. We didn't have to deal with creationism or families opposed to sex ed or parents freaked out by YA novels, let alone teachers that need to proselytize. Third, the school has helped us inculcate a sense of learning for its own sake. To the extent DC is academically competitive, it is driven internally, not externally by the school. And the school has been instrumental in helping value curiosity and questioning as important character traits. While teaching quality may vary, in DC's high school, the literature and history curricula are far more challenging and interesting than the typical public school AP tracks.

Anonymous wrote:After 10 years in a smaller progressive private, DC is moving on to one of the Big 3 in September. The entire application process for high school was a tremendous time sink and pretty silly. We were astonished by the school that not only asked where we went to college, but where the grandparents graduated, and open houses with hundreds of families when only 20 or 30 seats were available.

Unless your family is conscientious about making social and economic class visible, it is easy for private school children to take their enormous privilege for granted. PP is right that there has been almost no exposure to true middle class or working class families. While I never saw a hint of FA families and students being treated differently, sleepovers and parties were never hosted at their homes. Families on the edge of affordability at privates tend to quietly slip away and disappear so there's no real sense of how hard it is to afford $25-35k/year tuition. And, upper middle-class families can easily think they are less privileged than they really are.

Diversity throughout the private school system is an ongoing challenge. There tend to be fewer teachers and administrators of color than students of color. Though students are about as diverse as the elite colleges, year-over-year retention among individual African-American and Latino families is poor. At the same time, private school can also teach white children that black and brown children may come from better educated and more powerful families than their own.

DC's current school is relatively relaxed, but being involved in the school community was time consuming. Privates tend to lean much more on parent help with social and extra-curricular activities and that was a real challenge since we both work. There are parents who rely on the school community for their social life and they can be easy targets to make fun but, that happens in public schools too.

The pluses for us are easy to count. First, privates aren't part of a big large public bureaucracy. Negotiating with the school about my child's individual needs has been easy. At a public school, it would be like going to the DMV. No time has been wasted on preparing for standardized tests and my child's education has never been affected because others are slower (or faster). Second, we chose a school that fit our family's (non)beliefs. The school helped us teach DC strong values without resorting to faith. We didn't have to deal with creationism or families opposed to sex ed or parents freaked out by YA novels, let alone teachers that need to proselytize. Third, the school has helped us inculcate a sense of learning for its own sake. To the extent DC is academically competitive, it is driven internally, not externally by the school. And the school has been instrumental in helping value curiosity and questioning as important character traits. While teaching quality may vary, in DC's high school, the literature and history curricula are far more challenging and interesting than the typical public school AP tracks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like a lot of people don't say what they really think because they are afraid of coming across as snobby or elitest.

I'll start first. I think that my private offers a higher quality education than our highly ranked public.

used to think so, too - until we made the switch and I actually found out my daughter was reading 3 grade levels ahead . . .

Public school teachers are trained. That's not necessarily the case for private school teachers.