I’ve hooked up with a 20something from Tinder within less than an hour of matching.

As this thread devolves from the intent, a classist elitist who thinks the world is impressed by a kid doing free grunt work for a professor to get into a PhD program.

She puts down people who work at McDonalds or in the trades. She probably thinks less of garbage men but would by whining and complaining when her trash starts stacking up.

She also seems to think not paying for a college education or trade school means they stopped raising their kids. Part of this vast world is people make choices that works for them, in spite of those who want to put others down for those choices.

Considering only 50% who start PhD programs actually finishing them, getting into a program is about as impressive as a coin flip.

Maybe they can work at McDonalds, I know someone with a PhD who invested in a few.

I’m you too. 10 years in, unmarried but one kid and another on the way, own a house together, and he’s a good dad but truly emotionally and verbally abusive to me to the point that I don’t even try to fight it any more as the juice isn’t worth the squeeze. My life has gotten so small. Sooner or later this is going to start to rub off on the kids but I can’t afford help, no family, and I have a demanding job so I just try to be zen about his bad behavior and attitude. So tired.

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Anonymous wrote:Unmarried to partner after 15 years, 2 kids, 2 houses, etc etc...usually I regret almost all of it, but IDGAF about the marriage part.

I tolerate an insane amount of emotional/psychological abuse. It's becoming very problematic as our kids are now very aware.

I really just want to give up. I'm so tired and demoralized. Most people have no idea. But I'm not that close with many people.

I’m you except no kids. I’m low-key house hunting and when I buy myself a house, I’m out.

Anonymous wrote:DH & I go to amusement parks and go on rides & waterslides.

Water parks kind of gross me out, but I love love love amusement parks. Busch Gardens is my place. I want to go to Cedar Point this summer.

I'm 5'4" and weigh 170.

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Anonymous wrote:I’m a very regular poster. I have two dogs and no children.

Do you consider yourself a dog mom? Or, a dog dad? Do you push your dogs in a stroller?

not the pp but I push my pugs in a stroller. It never occurred to me to be embarrassed by it.

This is a serious question. Why? Are they old? Ill? Do they not have legs?

Nope, not old, ill or tripod. They're pugs. They have short legs and flat faces which make them unable to go for long walks like a Labrador might. Sometimes I want to go farther than they can reasonably walk. Sometimes the pavement is too hot and I want to walk them to a grassy area. I have one pug who has more stamina than the other and likes to sniff EVERYTHING. My other pug is little patience for this and will usually sit down and refuse to walk at some point because she's annoyed by the other one's sniffing, so I pop her in the stroller and keep going with the sniffer sniffing. Also, they tangle their leashes or wrap them around my legs when I have them both walking at the same time.

Sometimes I put them in cute clothes as entertainment for others---who invariably stop and talk to them (which they LOVE) and people have stopped their cars to take pictures of them. They bring a lot of joy to others which brings me joy. When they're in the stroller they're up high to see and be seen. I also worry less about other dogs this way. We don't go everywhere in the stroller, or use it every day. Heck they don't even leave the apartment every day. (They're litter box trained.)

Anonymous wrote:I don't agree with sacrificing for generational wealth. I'm spending it all.

Yes me too! My thoughts are that the heirs and their kids will just blow it all anyway (and won’t appreciate it) so I’d rather enjoy it all myself, for me, my kids and grandkids while I’m still living. Die with $0 is my goal.

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Anonymous wrote:We don’t pay a dime towards our kid’s college education. While we fund some expenses, the loans and majority is on her.

Does she commute from your house? Is she on a full-tuition scholarship? Is she at a community college? Does she have a full-time job?

Not sure how that’s possible otherwise unless you’re understating what you mean when you say “we fund some expenses.”

It is called been working and saving since 11. College is four hours away at a state Uni. Tuition almost laid for but not room and board. We give 200 a month for gas and pay car insurance. Books are on her too.

We buy some groceries but she pays for hello fresh, her apartment, electric, rental insurance. She won't be able to work full time going forward for next two years so it is college loans.

She paid cash for her used car.

What does an 11 year old do for work?

And are you low-income? If not, why would you put her in this position?

Kids can ref soccer as an AR starting at 11. Lifeguarding and more.

We didn't "put" her in any position. We paid for our college and paid off our loans in less than 10 years.

We did

It is your responsibility to pay for your child’s university education; that is why the FAFSA asks about & bases EFC on parental assets.

No worries, your daughter has leverage here to restrict your access to your future grandkids.

So says the anonymous Chairborne Ranger.

You mean the PP who thinks it’s a badge of honor to neglect her daughter?

Oh sure not paying for college for your kid is obvious neglect. What a moron!

In 2023, yes it is, if you want in the slightest for your child to be competitive in life & in the workplace.

Wrongo.

Thousands are entering trade schools and paying for it themselves. Going on believing your brand of BS.

Nobody wants to go to “trade schools” and risk pulling out their back for a living.

Go ahead believing your skreed. Let me know how that works out for you when your plumbing goes in the sh@tter.

And many in nursing school are paying for it themselves and are getting their costs reimbursed when hired.

My paying for his college son anecdotally sees far more kids on parents money wasting their college education than those paying for it themselves.

LOL. Sorry your family is poor. Hopefully it was worth spending his semesters working at McDonald’s while my child did research for a prof.

So much maturity. You sound like a teen troll.

No, the pp who thinks raising a kid ends at 18 does.

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Anonymous wrote:We don’t pay a dime towards our kid’s college education. While we fund some expenses, the loans and majority is on her.

Does she commute from your house? Is she on a full-tuition scholarship? Is she at a community college? Does she have a full-time job?

Not sure how that’s possible otherwise unless you’re understating what you mean when you say “we fund some expenses.”

It is called been working and saving since 11. College is four hours away at a state Uni. Tuition almost laid for but not room and board. We give 200 a month for gas and pay car insurance. Books are on her too.

We buy some groceries but she pays for hello fresh, her apartment, electric, rental insurance. She won't be able to work full time going forward for next two years so it is college loans.

She paid cash for her used car.

What does an 11 year old do for work?

And are you low-income? If not, why would you put her in this position?

Kids can ref soccer as an AR starting at 11. Lifeguarding and more.

We didn't "put" her in any position. We paid for our college and paid off our loans in less than 10 years.

We did

It is your responsibility to pay for your child’s university education; that is why the FAFSA asks about & bases EFC on parental assets.

No worries, your daughter has leverage here to restrict your access to your future grandkids.

So says the anonymous Chairborne Ranger.

You mean the PP who thinks it’s a badge of honor to neglect her daughter?

Oh sure not paying for college for your kid is obvious neglect. What a moron!

In 2023, yes it is, if you want in the slightest for your child to be competitive in life & in the workplace.

Wrongo.

Thousands are entering trade schools and paying for it themselves. Going on believing your brand of BS.

Nobody wants to go to “trade schools” and risk pulling out their back for a living.

Go ahead believing your skreed. Let me know how that works out for you when your plumbing goes in the sh@tter.

And many in nursing school are paying for it themselves and are getting their costs reimbursed when hired.

My paying for his college son anecdotally sees far more kids on parents money wasting their college education than those paying for it themselves.

LOL. Sorry your family is poor. Hopefully it was worth spending his semesters working at McDonald’s while my child did research for a prof.

So much maturity. You sound like a teen troll.

Anonymous wrote:We as a family eat takeout 4-5 days per week. And enjoy it.

In fact, the kid complains when I cook saying the food isn’t as good, and I usually agree.

We as a family eat takeout 4-5 days per week. And enjoy it.

Anonymous wrote:DH & I go to amusement parks and go on rides & waterslides.

Us too! We also eat chicken fingers and cokes there too. And have a ball.

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Anonymous wrote:If there is one person in the world who exemplifies all that DCUM holds dear, it is Katie Ledecky. Multiple gold medals, National Merit Scholar, Stone Ridge and Stanford, etc. Kind, classy, not flashy. Father is a Harvard/Yale educated biglaw attorney.

So true!

Also brother is a Harvard MBA

This is not a knock against Katie, but her appearance is just everything I imagine DCUM's to approve of. Not overweight, very fit (obviously). Simple haircut. Clean look. Her style seems to be preppy, modest (but not weird), muted, classic, simple. Makeup, but very natural look. No visible logos. Straight teeth. Simple jewelry.

Family lives in Bethesda. House is spacious, but not gaudy. Brick colonial. (My parents live a few blocks away, don't judge.) I'm sure it is very classy and clean on the inside.

Even her and her brother's names exemplify the DCUM dream: Katie and Michael. Simple. "Classic."

She seems utterly sexless.

Like PP said, she is everything DCUM approves of. Including that.

Her appearance is nothing to envy.

—dh

She doesn’t exist to be your sex toy.

Of course not, and I’m sure she’s a wonderful person. I am simply saying that no one needs to be envious of her appearance.

Are you joking? She’s trim and fit!

She has an older aesthetic. Nothing wrong with that, but she has a different look than the typical 26 y/o in 2023.

You mean a size 10 or higher wearing oversized sweatshirts and leggings?

No, I mean her short haircut, bangs and earrings. And her dressing like a matronly 45 year old woman. She wears a lot of blouses.

Oh god. /s

I’m not sure why you’re being so combative.

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Anonymous wrote:If there is one person in the world who exemplifies all that DCUM holds dear, it is Katie Ledecky. Multiple gold medals, National Merit Scholar, Stone Ridge and Stanford, etc. Kind, classy, not flashy. Father is a Harvard/Yale educated biglaw attorney.

So true!

Also brother is a Harvard MBA

This is not a knock against Katie, but her appearance is just everything I imagine DCUM's to approve of. Not overweight, very fit (obviously). Simple haircut. Clean look. Her style seems to be preppy, modest (but not weird), muted, classic, simple. Makeup, but very natural look. No visible logos. Straight teeth. Simple jewelry.

Family lives in Bethesda. House is spacious, but not gaudy. Brick colonial. (My parents live a few blocks away, don't judge.) I'm sure it is very classy and clean on the inside.

Even her and her brother's names exemplify the DCUM dream: Katie and Michael. Simple. "Classic."

She seems utterly sexless.

Like PP said, she is everything DCUM approves of. Including that.

Her appearance is nothing to envy.

—dh

She doesn’t exist to be your sex toy.

Of course not, and I’m sure she’s a wonderful person. I am simply saying that no one needs to be envious of her appearance.

Are you joking? She’s trim and fit!

She has an older aesthetic. Nothing wrong with that, but she has a different look than the typical 26 y/o in 2023.

You mean a size 10 or higher wearing oversized sweatshirts and leggings?

No, I mean her short haircut, bangs and earrings. And her dressing like a matronly 45 year old woman. She wears a lot of blouses.

Oh god. /s

DH & I go to amusement parks and go on rides & waterslides.