I totally agree that we can relate to the idea that even our kindest, most sensible and loving kids can do really dumb things. Even things with big consequences. There is that painful wish that we had a magic wand to fix it all. No doubt we made mistakes as parents. Maybe these mistakes contributed to the bad decisions. I have apologized to all my kids for things I wish I'd done better.

BUT....there is a kind of parenting out there that seems to celebrate selfishness and brattiness all through childhood and beyond . It's the kind of narcissistic parenting that somehow sees the child as an extension of themselves and their entitlement.its the parent who laughs at the kid who is rude to adults, thoughtless of others, and puts themselves first. Then, when the inevitable train wreck happens, whether it's drugs, DUI, toxic relationships, vandalism, you name it, there is a withdrawal by the parent into a cocoon of self pity.I am not saying that the bad choices made by older kids are all the parents fault. Maybe they are not because of anything other than the stupidity and character of the kid. But I can say that that if we pass off bad behavior in a child as " just the way he/she is", that we shouldn't be too shocked when the bad behavior causes grown up problems.

The DUI was swept under the rug. I think it's something bigger, which is unfortunate.

Anonymous wrote:Is there a MeCourse on Vaguely Airing Your Kid’s Dirty Laundry To The Mass Public But In A Way That Makes You Look Good?

This.

I do relate to her post, I think many of us who have teen/grown children can in some way relate. The problem is that she only seems to share stuff like this when something is going to become public and she's trying to get out ahead of it. That doesn't necessarily mean the kid did something horrible, just something that caused some parental anxiety. But when she vaguebooks about it like this, it ends up looking WORSE for her kids.

The annoying thing is that she could easily write this in a way that would make us just say 'oh,, that's relatable,' without wondering what's about to drop. i.e. "I was reflecting on the past today, looking at my kids and the wonderful adults they are becoming and I remembered all the nights when I ever wondered if it would turn out okay..." It puts the burden on HER and HER memories, not necessarily the actions of the kids. Because now not only is the kid/adult dealing with whatever it is they are going through, but now they have to deal with Jen's BIG FEELINGS as well. Her big feelings that are written in a way that makes her the victim of her kid's actions. They have caused her pain, darn it! Yes, there's a point at which they will need to understand that, but that's not in full view of the whole internet.

Is there a MeCourse on Vaguely Airing Your Kid’s Dirty Laundry To The Mass Public But In A Way That Makes You Look Good?

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s going to be something that will become public. Otherwise, I don’t think she’d put this out there. She’s used her kids for all sorts of content, but I like to think that even Jen has the instinct to protect and shield her children. I think this vaguebooking is an attempt at damage control for some soon to be public situation.

My money is on Remy. Probably not adapting well to the new culture. But she will blame the culture, the house mom (or whatever they call her ), the weather, blah blah blah...BUT no blame on herself or Remy.

Stand by, the shit storm is coming.

Assuming the “unmentionable terrible event” is about Caleb…

Jen has spent the past few years (YEARS!) detailing to us what a jerk he is - and LAUGHING ABOUT IT. She’s even shared that her basic parenting strategy for him is just to let him be him.

Now that the “unmentionable terrible event” happened, we are all supposed to 1) not speak of it, 2) have no opinion, and 3) under no circumstances, assume that her parenting strategy had ANYTHING to do with it.

Ok, Jen.

Anonymous wrote:Jen’s kids are off-limits.

We all try our best with our young ones.

Parenting can be brutal.

But her predatory, scammy, exploitive business model?

Fair game.

Four of them are adults. Not young ones. DUIs are fair game Caleb

Multiple not militiamen.

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s going to be something that will become public. Otherwise, I don’t think she’d put this out there. She’s used her kids for all sorts of content, but I like to think that even Jen has the instinct to protect and shield her children. I think this vaguebooking is an attempt at damage control for some soon to be public situation.

Only know of Jen Hatmaker through this thread.

I love how she’s been an “influencer” for the entirety of her children’s childhood and over shared in every imaginable way across militiamen platforms to include books and public speaking but now-NOW! all must respect her precious children’s privacy.

The horse has left the barn, lady!

I think it’s going to be something that will become public. Otherwise, I don’t think she’d put this out there. She’s used her kids for all sorts of content, but I like to think that even Jen has the instinct to protect and shield her children. I think this vaguebooking is an attempt at damage control for some soon to be public situation.

Anonymous wrote:I just heard Alisa Childers (who has done a podcast episode just on Jen) say, to paraphrase, “almost every deconstruction story begins with a rejection of biblical sexual ethics. Especially the public ones.”

🤯 So obvious now but I’d never noticed before she said that.

In my personal experience, if it’s not to justify homosexuality, it’s to justify cheating on your wife.

I'm also an Alisa Childer's fan! Really liked her book "Another Gospel." It helped me understand the draw of people like Jen Hatmaker and others like her.

Anonymous wrote:“Our kids need privacy.”

But Remy’s fair game.

Came here to say the same thing. Gross.

Jen: *shares personal (sometimes embarrassing) details and anecdotes about her children to 500,000+ followers for YEARS to garner sympathy, attention, or cheap laughs*

Also Jen: “My children will not be used for public consumption or placed on your altars of shame, Peasants!”

“Our kids need privacy.”

But Remy’s fair game.

“Not up for public consumption”??

Then why the vague post putting it all up for public consumption?