Anonymous
Post 05/17/2021 16:44     Subject: Re:Family wedding - no kids allowed
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It IS sad that people have lost sight of what wedding celebrations are about. Hint: not a money grabbing occasion where you pretend to be a princess. But, people reveal their values in their plans.


You must be my SIL. How typical that you assume everyone has the traditions and expectations that you have. How typical that if someone disagrees with you, their motives are greedy or lacking character. Your posturing may work with your DH and kids but we see through your BS. It is, frankly, a relief when you choose not to attend our gatherings/events because you don't get your way.


DP here. You sound catty and controlling and if you “see though someone’s BS” it’s because you wrote the book. Takes one to know one.
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2021 09:41     Subject: Re:Family wedding - no kids allowed
Anonymous wrote:It IS sad that people have lost sight of what wedding celebrations are about. Hint: not a money grabbing occasion where you pretend to be a princess. But, people reveal their values in their plans.


You must be my SIL. How typical that you assume everyone has the traditions and expectations that you have. How typical that if someone disagrees with you, their motives are greedy or lacking character. Your posturing may work with your DH and kids but we see through your BS. It is, frankly, a relief when you choose not to attend our gatherings/events because you don't get your way.
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2021 08:39     Subject: Re:Family wedding - no kids allowed
It's the soon to be married couple's decision. Either attend pursuant to their desires or stay home.
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2021 08:11     Subject: Re:Family wedding - no kids allowed
It IS sad that people have lost sight of what wedding celebrations are about. Hint: not a money grabbing occasion where you pretend to be a princess. But, people reveal their values in their plans.
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2021 01:10     Subject: Family wedding - no kids allowed
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’m just curious how others feel and would handle out of state, family weddings where your child isn’t invited. I would like to go, we have a small family and it’s my only cousin but I think it’s rude to not invite our daughter since, in my opinion, weddings are about celebrating with family and friends (including kids!). My parents will be at the wedding and my husbands family lives abroad so they are unable to help.... most likely my husband will be skipping the festivities, which makes me sad. Again, just curious how people would react - it’s making me feel sad but I don’t want to cause hurt feelings by not attending.


How old is your daughter? If you kid is over the age of 4 than they should be invited but, I wouldn't make a fuss. Just send a present and decline going.


What?? No. Age has no bearing on this. They don’t want kids at THEIR wedding. It’s their party their rules whatever your differing opinion may be.


I disagree. There is a big difference between a 2 year old and a 7 year old. Of course, they are allowed to invite anyone they want to the wedding. There is no dispute there. So no need for shouting, dear. We disagree and that is why I would politely decline.


Btw, this whole forum is for sharing opinions. Maybe you only think your opinion matters? Hint: Everyone's opinion matters.



There is no difference in the age of kids. I had a child-free wedding. Cousins in high school could attend. That's it.
Anonymous
Post 05/15/2021 16:46     Subject: Family wedding - no kids allowed
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Ask her to provide a list of local sitters.


Nobody wants to drop their kids off with some random local sitter.

I don't think it's "rude" to have a child free wedding, but it's short sighted and doesn't take into consideration what out of town guests will do with their kids. ,But OP, if the first part of your post is true, just let go of the negative feelings you have and go by yourself.


It's not about a bride and groom jumoung through hoops for every single guests. I did what I could, but I couldn't anticipate every single need for child care, work schedules, elder care, connecting flights, every single persons budget and leave schedules, etc. I focused on wedding logistics and accessibility issues for my guests with different abilities. That was enough to manage.

My plans didn't work for you? That's what the "sends regrets" line was for. No hard feelings on my end. If you had hard feelings, oh well. I was t planning a family reunion or a mass play date.
Anonymous
Post 05/15/2021 16:26     Subject: Family wedding - no kids allowed
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Ask her to provide a list of local sitters.


Nobody wants to drop their kids off with some random local sitter.

I don't think it's "rude" to have a child free wedding, but it's short sighted and doesn't take into consideration what out of town guests will do with their kids. ,But OP, if the first part of your post is true, just let go of the negative feelings you have and go by yourself.

How was it shortsighted? People figure that regardless of their circumstance they will figure out what will or will not work for them.
It is that easy , you invite people if it works for them to be able to leave their kids great if not they don’t go and send good wishes. People don’t have to make their event about what works for you damn.
Anonymous
Post 05/15/2021 16:20     Subject: Family wedding - no kids allowed
Anonymous wrote:Ask her to provide a list of local sitters.


Nobody wants to drop their kids off with some random local sitter.

I don't think it's "rude" to have a child free wedding, but it's short sighted and doesn't take into consideration what out of town guests will do with their kids. ,But OP, if the first part of your post is true, just let go of the negative feelings you have and go by yourself.
Anonymous
Post 05/14/2021 19:01     Subject: Family wedding - no kids allowed
Not everyone has to RSVP "yes" to a wedding. Please remember "no" is an option.
Anonymous
Post 05/14/2021 18:57     Subject: Family wedding - no kids allowed
I have one coming up in the fall that we have to fly to, in a fun city. My parents are also going. If DHs parents won't watch them, then I'll go alone. It'll suck, since it would otherwise be a fun weekend for me and DH and we haven't been anywhere at all in forever. But we have kids - sometimes we miss out on grown up fun. Eventually the kids will be old enough to stay home or in a hotel alone.
Anonymous
Post 05/14/2021 16:40     Subject: Family wedding - no kids allowed
Anonymous wrote:Some of these guests are awfully demanding. No babysitter. No relative watching. I drive 10 hours wah wah wah


Is it really common for people to leave their young children with a random babysitter in a city they traveled to? I never could have done that.
Anonymous
Post 05/14/2021 16:15     Subject: Family wedding - no kids allowed
Anonymous wrote:They know you are out of state with a child. They know you can't bring the child. So they are probably assuming you won't be attending. They made the rules.


This. Decline and send a gift. Easy peasy.
Anonymous
Post 05/14/2021 16:13     Subject: Family wedding - no kids allowed
OP, do everyone a favor and stay home.
Anonymous
Post 05/14/2021 15:35     Subject: Family wedding - no kids allowed
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:lol - why is your opinion of any importance here?[/quote]

AGREED! why do people make themselves the center of everything? If a couple wants a kids free wedding you can either go or not go. Their wedding shouldn’t revolve around your daughter. Get over yourself.


+1

YES! This! OP, your wedding, your rules. Otherwise, go and enjoy it or stay home.
Anonymous
Post 05/14/2021 12:17     Subject: Family wedding - no kids allowed
Anonymous wrote:lol - why is your opinion of any importance here?


AGREED! why do people make themselves the center of everything? If a couple wants a kids free wedding you can either go or not go. Their wedding shouldn’t revolve around your daughter. Get over yourself.