Anonymous wrote:Mandatory reading for the OP’s book club:

Alex Tizon remembers and has remorse for how is many was treated

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2017/06/lolas-story/524490/

Alex Tizon struggled to write about Lola, the woman who helped raise him. He was 11 before he realized she was his family’s slave

Anonymous wrote:Much less relevant than everything we discussed. You might question the source but here you go:
nypost.com/2017/05/24/the-nannys-worst-nightmare-your-husband/
“ The number one complaint from nannies was over-familiar dads.”

Anonymous wrote:MA ruling:
Host families can deduct up to $42/week for meals provided to the au pair and take a room deduction of up to $35/week. For an au pair that works the maximum 45 hours in a week, their pay will be no less than $528.65/week (40 hours @ $12.75/hour + 5 hours @ $19.13/hour – $77 for room and board).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think someone should whistleblow and start the authorities on an investigation of DMV families with live in au pairs and nannies. Starting with this board. The stuff I’ve heard here is no joke and is criminal! You cannot deduct room and board for a live in employee, check the law! I hope you all pay up in a class action. That’ll teach you to pay the living wage and treat people properly

You can deduct it, if living in is their choice.

Really?! You can advertise a live in, pretending it’s nanny’s choice, pretend to pay the living wage, then deduct so much that they are left with $200 or less per week. That is EXACTLY what the PP said.

In MA for au pairs they are allowing to deduct 13% max; not 40%.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, as a fellow host mom the dynamics have changed a lot and many au pairs - now scarce and in demand - are understandably leveraging the new dynamic.

That said, I think if you can afford to pay her more, do so, make her show you she is stepping it up. I think the PP at 5:55 is spot on, but I would phrase it more positively.

Trump froze au pair visas for the pandemic. Biden might lift that but I doubt he’ll do it in the first 90 days while we’re staying at 500,000 Americ as is dead. The au pair deserves more money especially if the kid(s) are home 24/7.

A normal nanny, even with board, would be 2x this for multiple kids.

Depends on the number of hours. Starting live-ins frequently make minimum wage, and if they’re working doing less than 25 hours per week, they could easily gross less than $200.

Good nannies made $25./hour plus benefits, plus holiday bonus, plus overtime - this was almost 20 years ago. There is good reason women pay for au pairs - and the grandmothers brag in bridge class, like their daughter who has an au pair has "made it" - no, your daughter is just cheap, and can't afford a real nanny.

Then, there are the families who think $10./hour plus a uniform for a nanny is "normal" in the U.S. - no, no it's not.

An au pair is bargain for the mom, and the mom, only. It's almost free child care.

Yes! Is the PP before you a human trafficker? I cannot square anything else otherwise with what they think they should pay a live in nanny? Read the Anne Bakilana case — this is the FBI territory of that’s what you do: bring someone in pay them then deduct for room and board until they have $200 a week

Anonymous wrote:What is shocking about the OP and her friends is not just all that is wrong with how the program has been warped over the years, but the behaviors in their direct control thar speak to them as people directly:
(1) unwillingness to negotiate while knowing you are paying someone $4.46/hr BUT
(2) willingness to pay more if au pair does more hours and illegal work AND
(3) willingness to write out a script that has a goal to intimidate a person dependent on you and weaker than you
Shame!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, as a fellow host mom the dynamics have changed a lot and many au pairs - now scarce and in demand - are understandably leveraging the new dynamic.

That said, I think if you can afford to pay her more, do so, make her show you she is stepping it up. I think the PP at 5:55 is spot on, but I would phrase it more positively.

Trump froze au pair visas for the pandemic. Biden might lift that but I doubt he’ll do it in the first 90 days while we’re staying at 500,000 Americ as is dead. The au pair deserves more money especially if the kid(s) are home 24/7.

A normal nanny, even with board, would be 2x this for multiple kids.

Depends on the number of hours. Starting live-ins frequently make minimum wage, and if they’re working doing less than 25 hours per week, they could easily gross less than $200.

Good nannies made $25./hour plus benefits, plus holiday bonus, plus overtime - this was almost 20 years ago. There is good reason women pay for au pairs - and the grandmothers brag in bridge class, like their daughter who has an au pair has "made it" - no, your daughter is just cheap, and can't afford a real nanny.

Then, there are the families who think $10./hour plus a uniform for a nanny is "normal" in the U.S. - no, no it's not.

An au pair is bargain for the mom, and the mom, only. It's almost free child care.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have one family in our circle that uses an au pair and it’s so gross. Say whatever you want to justify it, but it’s sourcing a poor brown girl to come live in your house and parent your children, probably put up with your DH’s creep show.

Our neighbors who do this are the laziest, worst parents in the neighborhood. The au pair took their kids trick or treating!

And yes, I’m sure it’s a million times worse now that these girls are effectively locked in the house, can’t socialize with their home country peers, and on top of it all get to now manage home schooling for your kids. Which you WFH moms just LOVE to tell us relentlessly is a full time job. But sure, $200 a week (much of which gets paid back to the agency) should cover it.

You seem to be misinformed. The stipend is federally mandated, and it’s all for the AP. No part of it goes to the agency.

DP but that’s not exactly right. Au pairs pay a hefty agency fee to join the program.

Anonymous wrote:The OP said that she wanted the au pair to "keep the kitchen and family room tidy. Right now, none of those things happen." The au pair is not supposed to do general housework-she is supposed to do childcare and tasks related to that. The au pair could help tidy the child's room for instance, but is not supposed to clean the kitchen nor the family room. When this program was initiated, the au pair was an extra pair of hands for the mother, a mother's helper, and it was all supposed to be part of a cultural exchange. Today it's the norm for both parents to work and the au pair is now expected to function as a nanny, taking care of the children alone. And apparently expected to do general housework too!

Anonymous wrote:Link to the 81 page ruling also explaining why families won’t opt out if the have to pay fairly:
https://www.universalhub.com/files/aupair-ruling.pdf
and why you can’t deduct expenses (because they live with you)
http://media.ca1.uscourts.gov/pdf.opinions/17-2140P-01A.pdf

Anonymous wrote:
Do you mean a horse and this race? Because, don’t get us started on dog fights... it’s a felony in all the states, unlike apparently paying your childminder a fraction of a minimum wage