This thread is about dating and not arranged marriages, right?

There are so many things to worry about dating that race is way down the list, at least for me. We're white, my son's girlfriend is Mexican. They're great together, she's a great girl, great student, and we love her to death.

And for what it's worth, I think the title of this thread is laughable. Dating a boy from a different race?!? Where are you from- 1954 Alabama?

Anonymous wrote:Everyone is racist and that's just the truth. Just because you don't voice your opinions doesn't mean you don't have any stereotypes or preconceptions, even unconsciously.

Wow, projection can be really obvious sometimes.

Anonymous wrote:Wow..lol! I love DCUM but these responses confirm that my AA son should not date or marry a white woman.

The level of self righteousness from some members of the white majority is dangerous for him. But don't worry, when your daughter comes after my son, and she will, I hope to have educated him on this matter and it will be a non-issue because he won't be interested.

On a side note, I believe that AA men who marry white women have low self esteem. I try to make daily deposits in son's esteem bank.

You don't educate people on who to fall in love. That isn't how love works.

I am okay with my sons dating/marrying/co-habitating outside of their race, gender and religion (although I would privately wince if they became fundamentalist in any religion as we are raising them in a liberal religion) or whatever other classification there is. I have no daughters.

Anonymous wrote:Wow, this whole thread is terrible.

My parents are of different races and got married in 1962. At that time, their marriage was illegal in the state of Virginia, among others. While their immediate families were somewhat reluctantly supportive, many of their extended family members were not, and they faced a lot of ugliness over the years.

They raised three children together and are now the proud grandparents of six grandchildren who run the racial gamut. They've seen each other through a miscarriage, two bouts with cancer, heart surgery, eye surgery, car accidents, financial hard times, a fire that destroyed most of their possessions, loss of family and friends, and many many happy times. Last fall they celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. They have built a wonderful life together based on shared set of values and a mutual love and respect for each other. That is what matters, not race.

This is beautiful - love withstanding all those ugly outside forces. Congratulations to you and your family! You're truly blessed to have this experience!

No BMW?

(Black, White, Muslim)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is an interesting thread even though it has meandered a bit.

I am open to my children marrying pretty much anyone - my only criteria is whether the individual would make my DC happy and treat him/her well. The exception with my DD would be that I would not want her to marry a Muslim guy. I don't care what the upbringing of the Muslim guy is, there are cultural and religious elements that would cause her to have a subjugated role as a woman quite apart from the likely requirement that she convert to Islam. If you want to call this bigotry, I plead guilty.

You're not bigotry, you're smart.
It's very dangerous for a daughter to marry a Muslim and become his property.

I married a Muslim guy from a North Africa. Pretty liberal family but defiantly Muslim, been to Mecca, pray 5 times a day in laws. I've had absolutely no problems, and I am a raging feminist. Judge the person, not the religion. I've never been told by any of my in laws that I need to convert, don't cover up when we visit them, and I feel free to drink in front of them. You obviously have no context for your statement and I suggest that you broaden your horizons. Oh and I'm not my husbands property, what a ridiculous thing to say.

My daughter (white) has dated a black boy. I didn't care, my husband hated it. But, he did not treat her well. My husband said "told you so". She's dating a Mexican boy now. Oh man do I love this kid. He is so respectful and treats her so well. She commented to me about how nice he is to his mother, how he has to work for everything he has, how his dad demands that the sons treat women respectfully.
I'm not super familiar with Mexican culture but if all Mexican families are like this oh my...what a strong family- focused wonderful culture.

I can't say I would care if my daughter dated another black boy...my personal opinion is that every boy is different. She just happened to have a very bad experience. But I think boys learn how to treat women from their dads and it concerns me the percentage of black boys without role models in their families. Young black men most certainly are in need (in very general terms) of strong male role models and mentors.

Anonymous wrote:This is an interesting thread even though it has meandered a bit.

I am open to my children marrying pretty much anyone - my only criteria is whether the individual would make my DC happy and treat him/her well. The exception with my DD would be that I would not want her to marry a Muslim guy. I don't care what the upbringing of the Muslim guy is, there are cultural and religious elements that would cause her to have a subjugated role as a woman quite apart from the likely requirement that she convert to Islam. If you want to call this bigotry, I plead guilty.

You're not bigotry, you're smart.
It's very dangerous for a daughter to marry a Muslim and become his property.

Anonymous wrote:Ask this to the Jewish parents.....

What do you think they would say about race and/or religion?

This is an interesting thread even though it has meandered a bit.

What AA mother who wants her DS to marry an AA woman, does not acknowledge is color consciousness among AAs' is rife. A light-skinned AA is viewed by most other AAs' as more attractive than a dark-skinned black. Most highly successful AA men - especially celebrities - hook up with white women or light skinned AA women or other light skinned women. A form of bias that is based on skin color. One of the notable exceptions is Obama whose wife definitely does not fit that mold.

I am open to my children marrying pretty much anyone - my only criteria is whether the individual would make my DC happy and treat him/her well. The exception with my DD would be that I would not want her to marry a Muslim guy. I don't care what the upbringing of the Muslim guy is, there are cultural and religious elements that would cause her to have a subjugated role as a woman quite apart from the likely requirement that she convert to Islam. If you want to call this bigotry, I plead guilty.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Daughter-fine if the religion is the same.
Son -no. It is not allowed.

Really? why?

I'm not sure if this is real, but if it is, why that distinction?

People should stick to their own kind. Life is tough enough without adding issues that don't need to exist. So it is not a preferable situation however I would trust a man of another race for my daughter more than I would trust a woman of another race for my son. But regardless, religion must be the same for both sons and daughters.

Not PC, I don't care. Many truths are not.

I'm sure people that don't like your race think they are truthful.

Anonymous wrote:Yes to race, no to religion. Only bc I believe that our religion requires us to marry within it. I would be very open to converts though, as long as they show genuine interest and arent just doing it for marriage.

How can you tell if it's genuine interest

I find this thread hilarious. I'm a caucasian female, and my parents have actually pushed me to get together with a couple guys of different races (AA, asian). But then my mom really just wants her little girl to find a cute boy lol. She lives vicariously through her kids, I guess. Honestly, even if my parents were against it I wouldn't care. You love who you love... although I tend to be freaked out by ultraconservatives and ultra religious people of all types.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Daughter-fine if the religion is the same.
Son -no. It is not allowed.

Really? why?

I'm not sure if this is real, but if it is, why that distinction?

People should stick to their own kind. Life is tough enough without adding issues that don't need to exist. So it is not a preferable situation however I would trust a man of another race for my daughter more than I would trust a woman of another race for my son. But regardless, religion must be the same for both sons and daughters.

Not PC, I don't care. Many truths are not.