Anonymous
Post 02/19/2012 20:23     Subject: Re:SAHM Reentering the Work Force - What not to do
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Just got back from tennis and lunch and see you girls are still at it!


oh

a SAHM with no ambition

Thanks for sharing!


Hey there, I have lots of ambition. I am working on my backhand and I am seeing progress. I totally cut out drinking diet soda. When I get together with my book club, I was drinking 5 glasses of wine and now I drink 3.
I have been trying new, more healthy, recipes and my family is eating better.
I am there for my kids. I do not over schedule them. We spend lots of time together as a family.
My family is happy. We keep the stress level low.


This is a joke right? Where's the real ambition?
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2012 20:20     Subject: Re:SAHM Reentering the Work Force - What not to do
"Oh and I haven't forget about you, the poster who is insulted when someone tries to give you a compliment and sympathize on how hard it must be to work long hours with small kids."

She didn't have to WOH, and neither did I. I was insulted because she implied that she felt sorry for me because she had the choice to SAH and I didn't. She couldn't imagine that a mother whose children were 3 and 1 would choose to work full time.
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2012 20:19     Subject: SAHM Reentering the Work Force - What not to do
Anonymous wrote:I would hate to see how you all treat WAHM on an interview if she mentions her family or lack of commute.


If WAHM has small kids who aren't in school, I would want to know IF she had FT help during her work hours. If not, it's the good old "Next!"
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2012 20:17     Subject: Re:SAHM Reentering the Work Force - What not to do
Anonymous wrote:
And for DH?


I think I specifically said that I thought one parent...doesn't matter which one....should have a less-than super demanding job while the kids are young. For example, my husband has a job that requires long hours and frequent travel. Because of that, I would never consider a job with those kinds of demands. If he worked 8-5, I would be o.k. with working longer hours.

I simply do not think both parents should be working 10+ hours a day. I think kids deserve more than a couple of hours a day with a parent.


My kids are away from parents 45 hours a week and have been since 3 months of age. It's been more than ok. Really.
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2012 20:16     Subject: Re:SAHM Reentering the Work Force - What not to do
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Just got back from tennis and lunch and see you girls are still at it!


oh

a SAHM with no ambition

Thanks for sharing!


Hey there, I have lots of ambition. I am working on my backhand and I am seeing progress. I totally cut out drinking diet soda. When I get together with my book club, I was drinking 5 glasses of wine and now I drink 3.
I have been trying new, more healthy, recipes and my family is eating better.
I am there for my kids. I do not over schedule them. We spend lots of time together as a family.
My family is happy. We keep the stress level low.


And working moms can't accomplish the feats on your impressive list?

I'm cringing at your lines and hoping you're being sarcastic . . . After all, what moron thinks cutting out diet soda is an accomplishment? Please tell me that was a joke.

Oh - and sorry to break it to you, but working PARENTS can prepare healthy meals. In my case, my husband does his share and is very good at cooking.

BTW - Did your book club cause you stress? 5 glasses of wine and one book later . . . I'm sure the discussions were fruitful. (in a fermented sense, that is)
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2012 20:15     Subject: SAHM Reentering the Work Force - What not to do
I would hate to see how you all treat WAHM on an interview if she mentions her family or lack of commute.
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2012 20:15     Subject: Re:SAHM Reentering the Work Force - What not to do
Anonymous wrote:
The only reason the SAHM is even considered for the job is because working moms exist. Because women become moms and continue to work. So achieving the holy grail for a SAHM is dependent on WOHMs and that is a fact. You (not you, as in you, but in people in general) can't have it both ways. You can't say the ultimate goal should be to stay home and raise kids and then get back into the workforce because if a significant number of women did that, there would be no returning to the workforce for SAHMs in any role other than what my moms' friends returned to in the 1980s after raising kids - teaching, nursing, etc.



I disagree with this view. I think very few of us SAHMs would suggest that women (as opposed to men) should stay home. I think one parent should stay home -- father or mother. If we as a society were equally accepting of stay-at-home dads, then it would, I hope, be easier for all parents who choose to stay at home to re-enter the workforce.


I think you should accept that dual WOHP families are the ideal if both parents are well educated, ambitious, highly paid and their kids do not have special needs.
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2012 20:08     Subject: Re:SAHM Reentering the Work Force - What not to do
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Oh really ? You've never heard a SAHM say to a WOHM at preschool dropoff, "It must be so hard to work when you have small children"? My response was, "No, actually, it's not because I'm high energy and organized."


What an annoying response. Do you need to imply an insult to SAHMs in your response? I would never assume that "It must be so hard to work when you have small children" is an insult - my SIL has said that to me and I took it as a compliment - like, "wow, you have your act together, way to rise up to the challenge." [/quote

She really couldn't conceive of working for pay and having kids. Her DH was a SAHP too - temporarily retired after selling his company.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2012 20:18     Subject: Re:SAHM Reentering the Work Force - What not to do
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Just got back from tennis and lunch and see you girls are still at it!


oh

a SAHM with no ambition

Thanks for sharing!


Hey there, I have lots of ambition. I am working on my backhand and I am seeing progress. I totally cut out drinking diet soda. When I get together with my book club, I was drinking 5 glasses of wine and now I drink 3.
I have been trying new, more healthy, recipes and my family is eating better.
I am there for my kids. I do not over schedule them. We spend lots of time together as a family.
My family is happy. We keep the stress level low.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2012 20:01     Subject: SAHM Reentering the Work Force - What not to do
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Can we just end it with this:

#1, if you (SAHM) want a job, try to focus on your qualifications.

#2, if you (WOHM) see a SAHM, try not to prejudge or take offense at what her life choices have been.

(And to those who claim that the WOHMs paved the way for a SAHM to even show her face in an interview -- doesn't that mean that you are taking the same position as the "old boys club" that we feminists fought against? Isn't feminism about giving women the opportunity to do more than ONE thing -- isn't it about allowing a woman to choose her path? So, by viewing a SAHM applicant as innately inferior b/c she chose to spend additional time at home, you are effectively taking the role of the men of old days and deciding that a woman gets to make one, and only one, choice about what she wants to do with her life. That's not a feminist perspective. Let's not make it a competition.)



NO ONE HAS SAID SAHMS DON'T DESERVE TO REENTER THE WORKFORCE. Many have said that if you intend to reenter be mindful and respectful of the women who made it possible for you by making different choices. Just go back to the first page of this thread, look at the things people have heard SAHMs say in interviews. Don't say those things and you're cool.



Actually, many, many women "paved the way" for me and others to choose our own paths. These women paved their own ways, some working FT, some PT, and some choosing to be SAHMs. My mom was a practicing doctor for over 30 years, and for two decades pf that time oversaw a staff comprised mainly of significantly older, male doctors. And, she took off six years to be a SAHM with my brother and me, and she worked PT for several years when we were older. So don't go thinking there's only one way to "pave the way" for women. And while I'm certainly "respectful" toward women who have chosen to work FT, I'm equally "respectful toward women who have made other choices. So work because it's best for you and your family, but don't bother doing it on my behalf!
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2012 19:37     Subject: Re:SAHM Reentering the Work Force - What not to do
If you are interviewing for a professional position, it is not appropriate to identify a "family-friendly schedule" as a basis for wanting the job at an interview. That doesn't mean you can't want a family friendly job, or that you must be willing to be there till midnight every night. Just research the darn company or agency and say that you heard about X and y thing that they were doing and it sounded interesting and you wanted to be involved with it. How hard is that?
Yes, many WOHMs have vitriol against SAHMs, and vice versa. But I think another point that this thread illustrates is that many people (moms and non-moms) lack basic interviewing skills to a degree that is just astounding. Sure, you can take the position "to hell with those touchy interviewers, I'm going to say what I want how I want it and too bad if they don't like it." But they have the power to give you a job or not give you a job, so why not think about the questions that you will obviously be asked at the interview and practice answering them truthfully, but in the way that most likely to make you look like the person they want to hire?
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2012 19:12     Subject: SAHM Reentering the Work Force - What not to do
Anonymous wrote:DCUM

Just.like.high.school.


Then why, Cheerleader, are you trolling?
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2012 18:15     Subject: SAHM Reentering the Work Force - What not to do
Yep, and when you do re-enter teh workforce, your co-workers will be very willing to help you get acclimated, until you start yapping about how companies don't offer enough benefits and flexibility for working-parents. Please don't do that. Your more experienced co-workers don't need to hear about that right now.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2012 16:53     Subject: SAHM Reentering the Work Force - What not to do
Anonymous wrote:Can we just end it with this:

#1, if you (SAHM) want a job, try to focus on your qualifications.

#2, if you (WOHM) see a SAHM, try not to prejudge or take offense at what her life choices have been.

(And to those who claim that the WOHMs paved the way for a SAHM to even show her face in an interview -- doesn't that mean that you are taking the same position as the "old boys club" that we feminists fought against? Isn't feminism about giving women the opportunity to do more than ONE thing -- isn't it about allowing a woman to choose her path? So, by viewing a SAHM applicant as innately inferior b/c she chose to spend additional time at home, you are effectively taking the role of the men of old days and deciding that a woman gets to make one, and only one, choice about what she wants to do with her life. That's not a feminist perspective. Let's not make it a competition.)



NO ONE HAS SAID SAHMS DON'T DESERVE TO REENTER THE WORKFORCE. Many have said that if you intend to reenter be mindful and respectful of the women who made it possible for you by making different choices. Just go back to the first page of this thread, look at the things people have heard SAHMs say in interviews. Don't say those things and you're cool.

Anonymous
Post 02/18/2012 16:53     Subject: SAHM Reentering the Work Force - What not to do
oh and if you ask for flexible telework options, please don't "WAH" without sufficient childcare. you ruin it for the rest of us who are genuine workers wanting flexibility in our work lives. i've seen it happen at my agency and it's infuriating for the working mothers who are trying to do their best job.

i'm talking to you, poster on the patent office agent thread!