Anonymous
05/14/2026 12:11
Subject: What American "cultural" things you don't do or allow your kids to do.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Refusing these on principle is bizarre.
My kids have each done one sleepover in their lives, I believe. They're not dating as teens and young adults. And my second did have a yearlong carpool at some point.
But we didn't set off to refuse those things. It just happened that way.
Why don't you live your life in a more organic way? You seem extremely mentally rigid.
TBH - I see no value in them while my kids are young. There are many other things that I do for the socialization of my kids, so I don't think they are missing anything but dangerous situations. I do not want to normalize these things or distract them from their academics, ECs, traveling and having fun with similar kids.
In my interactions with American families, I have not walked away with feeling that I want them be around my kids when I am not around. I don't want to do the detective work to find out what the intentions of people around me are especially when it comes to the safety of my children.
My kids and I do have these discussions all the time, and I feel I will be more comfortable when they are adults and able to have their own boundaries.
Wow.
Why would you live here if you don't like or trust any "American" families or American cultural traditions?
My parents were like this and I guess I can explain it to you as an observer. In a lot of countries/cultures, you don’t befriend everyone. You befriend people who are your caste, from your region, your religion, your socioeconomic level, etc. These aren’t laws set in stone, it’s just the way things are. So when people come to America they naturally gravitate to their own “kind.”
My parents are not going to socialize with “Americans” just like they are not going to socialize with someone from their own country who is on a different social strata. It’s not personal. They simply decline to navigate social differences if they don’t have to.
I don’t know why so many of you are offended by this. People who immigrate go through enough crap, they don’t have to force themselves to befriend you. Their children will assimilate because they grow up in this culture.
And this is my personal experience, Americans tend to be very stingy and guarded. They lack the warmth and generosity you experience in my parents’ culture. Look at this forum for myriad examples. It’s a lot less complicated to make friends in other cultures.
I think your viewpoint here is more a function of your personality and people not liking you than it is of American culture.
--another immigrant
I find your comment about Americans being stingy and guarded. I am the minority in my neighborhood and I'm shocked by how little my neighbors help one another.
Anonymous
05/14/2026 12:08
Subject: What American "cultural" things you don't do or allow your kids to do.
Anonymous wrote:I’m American and I never did carpools. Statistically riding in a car is the most dangerous thing your child will do and I never knew how good a driver these other parents were. I was always happy to have my kids drive when they went out with their friends because I taught them how to drive and they had very safe cars.
I was stunned by the amount of dwi from the parents I met in Ashburn. A few of the moms from sports and from my neighborhood liked to get a group together for lunch and it always involved alcohol. Everyone of us was constantly providing bus service for our kids and others in all of their activities and the number of parents I saw driving kids after drinking floored me. It made it hard for me socially and I had a hard time saying no to the activities or agreeing to carpool with other families. People are way too cavalier about drunk driving.
Anonymous
05/14/2026 10:36
Subject: What American "cultural" things you don't do or allow your kids to do.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Piercing baby girls ears.
Or noses.
This is not an American thing. it’s very Latino and south Asian to get piercings for a baby.
its cringy to do that to an infant
Anonymous
05/13/2026 23:04
Subject: What American "cultural" things you don't do or allow your kids to do.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Refusing these on principle is bizarre.
My kids have each done one sleepover in their lives, I believe. They're not dating as teens and young adults. And my second did have a yearlong carpool at some point.
But we didn't set off to refuse those things. It just happened that way.
Why don't you live your life in a more organic way? You seem extremely mentally rigid.
TBH - I see no value in them while my kids are young. There are many other things that I do for the socialization of my kids, so I don't think they are missing anything but dangerous situations. I do not want to normalize these things or distract them from their academics, ECs, traveling and having fun with similar kids.
In my interactions with American families, I have not walked away with feeling that I want them be around my kids when I am not around. I don't want to do the detective work to find out what the intentions of people around me are especially when it comes to the safety of my children.
My kids and I do have these discussions all the time, and I feel I will be more comfortable when they are adults and able to have their own boundaries.
Wow.
Why would you live here if you don't like or trust any "American" families or American cultural traditions?
My parents were like this and I guess I can explain it to you as an observer. In a lot of countries/cultures, you don’t befriend everyone. You befriend people who are your caste, from your region, your religion, your socioeconomic level, etc. These aren’t laws set in stone, it’s just the way things are. So when people come to America they naturally gravitate to their own “kind.”
My parents are not going to socialize with “Americans” just like they are not going to socialize with someone from their own country who is on a different social strata. It’s not personal. They simply decline to navigate social differences if they don’t have to.
I don’t know why so many of you are offended by this. People who immigrate go through enough crap, they don’t have to force themselves to befriend you. Their children will assimilate because they grow up in this culture.
And this is my personal experience, Americans tend to be very stingy and guarded. They lack the warmth and generosity you experience in my parents’ culture. Look at this forum for myriad examples. It’s a lot less complicated to make friends in other cultures.
I think your viewpoint here is more a function of your personality and people not liking you than it is of American culture.
--another immigrant
Yeah, people dont like you if they are being stingy and guarded around you.
How about if you are black? Is that a “you” problem or a “them” problem then?
Anonymous
05/13/2026 22:43
Subject: What American "cultural" things you don't do or allow your kids to do.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Refusing these on principle is bizarre.
My kids have each done one sleepover in their lives, I believe. They're not dating as teens and young adults. And my second did have a yearlong carpool at some point.
But we didn't set off to refuse those things. It just happened that way.
Why don't you live your life in a more organic way? You seem extremely mentally rigid.
TBH - I see no value in them while my kids are young. There are many other things that I do for the socialization of my kids, so I don't think they are missing anything but dangerous situations. I do not want to normalize these things or distract them from their academics, ECs, traveling and having fun with similar kids.
In my interactions with American families, I have not walked away with feeling that I want them be around my kids when I am not around. I don't want to do the detective work to find out what the intentions of people around me are especially when it comes to the safety of my children.
My kids and I do have these discussions all the time, and I feel I will be more comfortable when they are adults and able to have their own boundaries.
You're exactly the kind of person that makes Americans wish immigrants would have stayed in their country of origin, and also wonder why they didn't. Congrats.
Totally different poster. Why are you assuming this person is an immigrant?
Do most people refer to "American families" when they talk about friends and neighbors? I'm not American, (well I am now, but not born and raised here) but I never talk about my "American" friends vs whatever other nationality. That's not normal. I agree, she gives immigrants a bad rap. I don't complain about the US (well Trump, but not US in general), nobody is forcing me to live here.
PP's attitude is rampant on DCUM. Some immigrants have a totally transactional view of being in the US. They want to extract whatever wealth and resources they can, while having no interest in assimilation and looking their noses down on Americans. And then they wonder why Americans don't like them,
+1
What’s your point, exactly? If I can maintain my culture while allowing my family to benefit from the resources of the United States, why shouldn’t I?
To add to this, no foreigner ever wonders “why” Americans don’t like them. That’s not actually a question. Everyone already knows the “why.”
Actually, I think any American who dislikes immigrants is reacting to the exact sentiment expressed by the PP. It is pretty entitled to say that you want to come here to "benefit from the resources of the United States" without assimilating. You are defying the entire point of the United States and giving the big middle finger to its citizens. We can do fine without you.
What are you even talking about? The immigrant pp is assimilating perfectly. In fact, she has picked up the most American habit of them all- segregation.
I find the upset here over immigrants segregating themselves hilarious. Americans LOVE segregation. We love dividing ourselves into little groups! Look how many anxious posts there are on this board about class and looking tacky and how no one would live in PG county with “those” people and how “those” people’s kids act like wild animals, etc. why are you so upset about immigrants doing the same thing? It’s the most American thing you can do.
DP but you raise a good point! Combined with the unearned confidence and abrasive arrogance, and it seems like the immigrants in this thread have assimilated wonderfully.
Anonymous
05/13/2026 22:41
Subject: What American "cultural" things you don't do or allow your kids to do.
Anonymous wrote:I’m American and I never did carpools. Statistically riding in a car is the most dangerous thing your child will do and I never knew how good a driver these other parents were. I was always happy to have my kids drive when they went out with their friends because I taught them how to drive and they had very safe cars.
Good Lord. I hope you taught them defensive driving, and not just how to be overconfident. (Those other drivers are still on the road, after all.)
Anonymous
05/13/2026 22:38
Subject: What American "cultural" things you don't do or allow your kids to do.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Refusing these on principle is bizarre.
My kids have each done one sleepover in their lives, I believe. They're not dating as teens and young adults. And my second did have a yearlong carpool at some point.
But we didn't set off to refuse those things. It just happened that way.
Why don't you live your life in a more organic way? You seem extremely mentally rigid.
TBH - I see no value in them while my kids are young. There are many other things that I do for the socialization of my kids, so I don't think they are missing anything but dangerous situations. I do not want to normalize these things or distract them from their academics, ECs, traveling and having fun with similar kids.
In my interactions with American families, I have not walked away with feeling that I want them be around my kids when I am not around. I don't want to do the detective work to find out what the intentions of people around me are especially when it comes to the safety of my children.
My kids and I do have these discussions all the time, and I feel I will be more comfortable when they are adults and able to have their own boundaries.
Wow.
Why would you live here if you don't like or trust any "American" families or American cultural traditions?
My parents were like this and I guess I can explain it to you as an observer. In a lot of countries/cultures, you don’t befriend everyone. You befriend people who are your caste, from your region, your religion, your socioeconomic level, etc. These aren’t laws set in stone, it’s just the way things are. So when people come to America they naturally gravitate to their own “kind.”
My parents are not going to socialize with “Americans” just like they are not going to socialize with someone from their own country who is on a different social strata. It’s not personal. They simply decline to navigate social differences if they don’t have to.
I don’t know why so many of you are offended by this. People who immigrate go through enough crap, they don’t have to force themselves to befriend you. Their children will assimilate because they grow up in this culture.
And this is my personal experience, Americans tend to be very stingy and guarded. They lack the warmth and generosity you experience in my parents’ culture. Look at this forum for myriad examples. It’s a lot less complicated to make friends in other cultures.
I think your viewpoint here is more a function of your personality and people not liking you than it is of American culture.
--another immigrant
Yeah, people dont like you if they are being stingy and guarded around you.
Anonymous
05/13/2026 22:31
Subject: What American "cultural" things you don't do or allow your kids to do.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Refusing these on principle is bizarre.
My kids have each done one sleepover in their lives, I believe. They're not dating as teens and young adults. And my second did have a yearlong carpool at some point.
But we didn't set off to refuse those things. It just happened that way.
Why don't you live your life in a more organic way? You seem extremely mentally rigid.
TBH - I see no value in them while my kids are young. There are many other things that I do for the socialization of my kids, so I don't think they are missing anything but dangerous situations. I do not want to normalize these things or distract them from their academics, ECs, traveling and having fun with similar kids.
In my interactions with American families, I have not walked away with feeling that I want them be around my kids when I am not around. I don't want to do the detective work to find out what the intentions of people around me are especially when it comes to the safety of my children.
My kids and I do have these discussions all the time, and I feel I will be more comfortable when they are adults and able to have their own boundaries.
You're exactly the kind of person that makes Americans wish immigrants would have stayed in their country of origin, and also wonder why they didn't. Congrats.
Totally different poster. Why are you assuming this person is an immigrant?
Do most people refer to "American families" when they talk about friends and neighbors? I'm not American, (well I am now, but not born and raised here) but I never talk about my "American" friends vs whatever other nationality. That's not normal. I agree, she gives immigrants a bad rap. I don't complain about the US (well Trump, but not US in general), nobody is forcing me to live here.
PP's attitude is rampant on DCUM. Some immigrants have a totally transactional view of being in the US. They want to extract whatever wealth and resources they can, while having no interest in assimilation and looking their noses down on Americans. And then they wonder why Americans don't like them,
+1
What’s your point, exactly? If I can maintain my culture while allowing my family to benefit from the resources of the United States, why shouldn’t I?
To add to this, no foreigner ever wonders “why” Americans don’t like them. That’s not actually a question. Everyone already knows the “why.”
Actually, I think any American who dislikes immigrants is reacting to the exact sentiment expressed by the PP. It is pretty entitled to say that you want to come here to "benefit from the resources of the United States" without assimilating. You are defying the entire point of the United States and giving the big middle finger to its citizens. We can do fine without you.
What are you even talking about? The immigrant pp is assimilating perfectly. In fact, she has picked up the most American habit of them all- segregation.
I find the upset here over immigrants segregating themselves hilarious. Americans LOVE segregation. We love dividing ourselves into little groups! Look how many anxious posts there are on this board about class and looking tacky and how no one would live in PG county with “those” people and how “those” people’s kids act like wild animals, etc. why are you so upset about immigrants doing the same thing? It’s the most American thing you can do.
Anonymous
05/13/2026 21:37
Subject: Re:What American "cultural" things you don't do or allow your kids to do.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I’m not American, but I don’t see the issue with carpooling. What’s wrong with that? We don’t do sleepovers due to a fear of SA, and we wouldn’t allow dating, because we don’t believe in intimacy before marriage, but what is wrong with carpooling?
How will you control this when your kid is in college?
Those were the kids in college that were wild as hell!
Example that poor girl who drowned in the Dominican Republic on Spring Break. When you are too strict they hide things and/or they lack the experience to make better choices.
Anonymous
05/13/2026 21:37
Subject: What American "cultural" things you don't do or allow your kids to do.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The "typical American things" I don't allow:
*Guns
*Public School Attendance
*Dogs
*Baseball caps worn inside
*Rudeness
,*MAGAs
*Suburban living
*Wearing Shoes indoors
*Sodas
*Camping
*Kids hanging out at your house univited
Don’t you sound lovely to be around
I’m with this smug, small-minded moron on guns and rudeness. Would add MAGAs, but there are a couple of them who are dear to me.
Anonymous
05/13/2026 21:35
Subject: What American "cultural" things you don't do or allow your kids to do.
I’m American and I never did carpools. Statistically riding in a car is the most dangerous thing your child will do and I never knew how good a driver these other parents were. I was always happy to have my kids drive when they went out with their friends because I taught them how to drive and they had very safe cars.
Anonymous
05/13/2026 20:57
Subject: What American "cultural" things you don't do or allow your kids to do.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The "typical American things" I don't allow:
*Guns
*Public School Attendance
*Dogs
*Baseball caps worn inside
*Rudeness
,*MAGAs
*Suburban living
*Wearing Shoes indoors
*Sodas
*Camping
*Kids hanging out at your house univited
Don’t you sound lovely to be around
lol
I hate camping, but wtf
Why is this place full of try-hards?
OP asked a question. People can answer however they choose. Why don't you offer an answer instead of being snarky and sanctimonious. You think you're " too cool for school". Or, were you offended by being called out as a MAGA?
Delulu
Anonymous
05/13/2026 20:51
Subject: What American "cultural" things you don't do or allow your kids to do.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The "typical American things" I don't allow:
*Guns
*Public School Attendance
*Dogs
*Baseball caps worn inside
*Rudeness
,*MAGAs
*Suburban living
*Wearing Shoes indoors
*Sodas
*Camping
*Kids hanging out at your house univited
Don’t you sound lovely to be around
lol
I hate camping, but wtf
Why is this place full of try-hards?
OP asked a question. People can answer however they choose. Why don't you offer an answer instead of being snarky and sanctimonious. You think you're " too cool for school". Or, were you offended by being called out as a MAGA?
Anonymous
05/13/2026 20:51
Subject: What American "cultural" things you don't do or allow your kids to do.
We didn't have peanut butter in the house until the kids were teens. It wasn't forbidden but I wanted to discourage the "my kid only eats PBJ" culture including at restaurants and at other people's houses.
Anonymous
05/13/2026 20:38
Subject: What American "cultural" things you don't do or allow your kids to do.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The "typical American things" I don't allow:
*Guns
*Public School Attendance
*Dogs
*Baseball caps worn inside
*Rudeness
,*MAGAs
*Suburban living
*Wearing Shoes indoors
*Sodas
*Camping
*Kids hanging out at your house univited
Don’t you sound lovely to be around
lol
I hate camping, but wtf
Why is this place full of try-hards?