Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think Pref is the best round. Girls know they’re getting a sorority they are pref-ing at. They can just relax and enjoy both houses. Really encourage your girls not to suicide bid unless they gave a very good reason!!! Help them see the positives of both houses so that whichever gives the girl a bid will seem like a positive!

IF there is a choice to make at pref round. Some schools have set up rush to help struggling house so all many girls have to “choose” from on pref night is the struggling house or dropping out.

COB can work out but you miss the thrill and joy of opening your bid with your rush group and celebrating with all the excitement of bid day which is something they’ve all been imagining and looking forward to. And you watch it all happen. And walk back to your dorm with doors decorated with letters and welcome signs etc. And the first day of classes with everyone wearing their colors and letters…it’s outrageously cruel that schools do this for their own benefit.

Or the girls in that situation can join the struggling house and help it turn around.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think Pref is the best round. Girls know they’re getting a sorority they are pref-ing at. They can just relax and enjoy both houses. Really encourage your girls not to suicide bid unless they gave a very good reason!!! Help them see the positives of both houses so that whichever gives the girl a bid will seem like a positive!

IF there is a choice to make at pref round. Some schools have set up rush to help struggling house so all many girls have to “choose” from on pref night is the struggling house or dropping out.

COB can work out but you miss the thrill and joy of opening your bid with your rush group and celebrating with all the excitement of bid day which is something they’ve all been imagining and looking forward to. And you watch it all happen. And walk back to your dorm with doors decorated with letters and welcome signs etc. And the first day of classes with everyone wearing their colors and letters…it’s outrageously cruel that schools do this for their own benefit.

Anonymous wrote:I think Pref is the best round. Girls know they’re getting a sorority they are pref-ing at. They can just relax and enjoy both houses. Really encourage your girls not to suicide bid unless they gave a very good reason!!! Help them see the positives of both houses so that whichever gives the girl a bid will seem like a positive!

Anonymous wrote:Pref day at UVA. Hope it goes ok for all rushing on this post! If it doesn’t, there is life beyond this rush including COB and rush next year.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every frat party I went to when I rushed, the sorority girls were there because they wanted to hookup with the frat guys.

Non-Greek girls can also go to any frat party they want.

My boyfriend at UVA lived in a frat house and I (non-Greek) wasn’t even allowed to be in the house if they were having a party with a sorority. Not even hanging out in his room watching a movie, completely separate from the party. The guys didn’t care but those girls wouldn’t have it. Tossed out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the draw of the sorority?

Is it to find friends and a peer group?

I had no interest in rush, as I knew almost nothing about it except that a friend had a mother in a sorority and so had been planning to rush her whole life. However, one of my parents encouraged me to give it a try and as I went to community college first and was heading to school as a sophomore, I decided to rush and see how it went. I figured I would just drop out if I didn't like it and if I didn't it would help me integrate into a big state school starting a year behind my peers.

So, rushed and literally knew nothing about sororities. Liked one and put it first but ended up in my second choice. As an adult still involved in the alum group 30 years later, it was a better fit.

But, what did I get out of it. As a bit of an introvert - more concentrated time with individual people as there was continuity. For example, regular meetings and events with many of the same people compared to classes where you don't much time to talk to individuals and then each semester new classes and new people. And, I didn't have an idea of my major and wasn't a sports or drama kid so finding a club wasn't obvious.

Also, learning to deal with bigger groups. That was generally not my thing but life it full of groups at work, kids sports, etc. and now I can walk into anywhere and start up a conversation.

Leadership. I ended up being President of the Chapter which I never would have imagined. It was probably the most enlightening thing I did that carried over into my career.

Service. I didn't not grow up with a lot of service as a focus. I learned a lot about individual and group service, finding the right fit to make it something you do lifelong (this and the leadership piece mean that over the course of time I have stepped in and led at least two struggling non-profits in my spare time).

Friends. While meeting people at school was the idea in college this has turned out to be another area that was unexpected. I have stayed involved in the alum group and have friends who have just finished school to many years retired and from all areas of the country/backgrounds/jobs. In DC this may sound fairly normal. But, it isn't necessarily in many places. And, those friends aren't tied to a job or my kids school which has been nice.

Anyway, I am sure people have different reasons for joining. But, these are things I realize now looking back.

PP with daughter rushing now…thank you for this! This is awesome.

One thing to keep in mind is that if your daughter gets to the pref round then those sororities would love to have your daughter. It is her job to really express what she loves about each and why she sees herself there. The only times I personally have heard someone not getting a bid is when they did the nuclear option. Also known as a suicide option. I have continued to be involved in my sorority since college and really that is it. That is a gamble that I cannot encourage. If you are not on a given sorority top quota list you are done. You not only lose the option to then obtain your second choice but you also lose the chance to get to your first choice should some of the PNM above you choose another house. Keep in mind a house may be your daughter’s first choice but someone on their top pref list may choose another sorority. List keeps moving to next PNM if that makes sense.
Good luck to your daughter.

Thank you. She’s definitely not doing the nuclear option. Has thinking to do tonight but is open. Not one of the girls set on a so-called top tier.
This was reassuring! Thanks again.

I hope your daughter has a good experience but PP’s information is not accurate for all schools. It is NOT true that the girls who are disappointed only wanted “top tier” or “a couple” houses. Some schools are trying to grow struggling houses by not increasing quotas even though overall PNM have significantly increased. This means that ALL the houses are harder to match with EXCEPT the struggling house.

Please be honest with these girls that they may be down to just the struggling house by mid-week because it’s all about what the school needs. And if that’s not okay with them, they probably don’t want to rush.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every frat party I went to when I rushed, the sorority girls were there because they wanted to hookup with the frat guys.

Non-Greek girls can also go to any frat party they want.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your DD is at UVA, I can tell you which ones may be in danger of shutting down.

Interested - can you share?

Do not post names of “struggling” sororities while rush is happening at UVA. These houses may end up with more pledges on Sunday (or in cob) and end up being fine. This is the type of behavior that keeps girls from joining these houses.

Agreed and my dd is a fourth year Greek at UVA. That house youre talking about was a pretty healthy chapter before last years rush when there was basically a smear campaign against them on yikyak. It was very sad. They went from having a good sized pledge class to 3, all of whole dropped on bid day. I wish people would realize that they could join and build on what they have and make it their own. They have a nice house and some very nice girls. When my dd rushed in 2022, they were not the “bottom” house and pledged some very nice “normal” girls. Such a shame.

Totally. I wish a group of 30-40 girls would decide to join this sorority and bring it back. There are so many girls going through rush. I had no idea there was a smear campaign - that's disappointing and sad.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the draw of the sorority?

Is it to find friends and a peer group?

I had no interest in rush, as I knew almost nothing about it except that a friend had a mother in a sorority and so had been planning to rush her whole life. However, one of my parents encouraged me to give it a try and as I went to community college first and was heading to school as a sophomore, I decided to rush and see how it went. I figured I would just drop out if I didn't like it and if I didn't it would help me integrate into a big state school starting a year behind my peers.

So, rushed and literally knew nothing about sororities. Liked one and put it first but ended up in my second choice. As an adult still involved in the alum group 30 years later, it was a better fit.

But, what did I get out of it. As a bit of an introvert - more concentrated time with individual people as there was continuity. For example, regular meetings and events with many of the same people compared to classes where you don't much time to talk to individuals and then each semester new classes and new people. And, I didn't have an idea of my major and wasn't a sports or drama kid so finding a club wasn't obvious.

Also, learning to deal with bigger groups. That was generally not my thing but life it full of groups at work, kids sports, etc. and now I can walk into anywhere and start up a conversation.

Leadership. I ended up being President of the Chapter which I never would have imagined. It was probably the most enlightening thing I did that carried over into my career.

Service. I didn't not grow up with a lot of service as a focus. I learned a lot about individual and group service, finding the right fit to make it something you do lifelong (this and the leadership piece mean that over the course of time I have stepped in and led at least two struggling non-profits in my spare time).

Friends. While meeting people at school was the idea in college this has turned out to be another area that was unexpected. I have stayed involved in the alum group and have friends who have just finished school to many years retired and from all areas of the country/backgrounds/jobs. In DC this may sound fairly normal. But, it isn't necessarily in many places. And, those friends aren't tied to a job or my kids school which has been nice.

Anyway, I am sure people have different reasons for joining. But, these are things I realize now looking back.

I love this. My sorority provided me with many of the same benefits.

It was a “spacious” relationship, as I saw it as a bonus to my primary friend group, rather than the focus of my social life. I met so many interesting women, both older and younger than me, as well as a whole group my year, too. I’m still in touch with many of them almost 30 years later. My friends and I also enjoyed some great leadership opportunities along the way. (Plus we loved getting to invite guys as dates to our parties. Felt like it evened out the power dynamics a bit. Our parties were fun, and we felt more in control of the situation when we hosted.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's tough everywhere, OP.

The universal problem at every school is that all of the girls rushing want the same top, few sororities. If she can be happy anywhere, you'll be fine. If your daughter insists on being an XYZ, she's likely to be disappointed.

Depends on the girl and any hooks she has.

What kind of hooks?

Pretty, uber rich, skinny

How would ppl even know if you are rich?

It's called "zip coding" at my DD school. She zip-coded well, wore a lot of Love Shack Fancy and all her Cartier.
Sad but true.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your DD is at UVA, I can tell you which ones may be in danger of shutting down.

Interested - can you share?

Do not post names of “struggling” sororities while rush is happening at UVA. These houses may end up with more pledges on Sunday (or in cob) and end up being fine. This is the type of behavior that keeps girls from joining these houses.

Agreed and my dd is a fourth year Greek at UVA. That house youre talking about was a pretty healthy chapter before last years rush when there was basically a smear campaign against them on yikyak. It was very sad. They went from having a good sized pledge class to 3, all of whole dropped on bid day. I wish people would realize that they could join and build on what they have and make it their own. They have a nice house and some very nice girls. When my dd rushed in 2022, they were not the “bottom” house and pledged some very nice “normal” girls. Such a shame.

I rushed at UVA 12 years ago (geez, time flies) and the house you are referring to still hardly got anyone. I got a bid and declined it as did many other women. I honestly don’t remember why I declined it other than I didn’t really remember having much of a connection with the house and assumed they gave me a bid because they needed people.

My DD has a couple of friends in the chapter and getting three pledges on bid day was unheard of for that sorority. And then having them all drop. I think the year my DD rushed they at least had if not quota, they were at least close. There are some great girls in that chapter and it’s just been devastating to them. The house that had traditionally been the least desirable seems to not be rushing this year and lost their house last year, another shame. So here you have two houses essentially “going out of business” while girls are complaining that there’s no chapter for them to go to. Get a big group together of your friends and pledge, you can turn it into whatever you want it to be.

I think part of the issue is that if someone has a big group of friends, just be friends with each other. You don’t need to join a sorority and pay thousands of dollars to hang out with girls you don’t click with.