This mentality of paying nanny for half hearted childcare but not even giving credit to mommy for dedication to same work is how women show hypocrisy and double standards.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think most women are young and naive when they makes decision to become SAHM, it’s mostly due to circumstance and societal conditioning. Once they do, it becomes difficult to leave all the responsibilities, by the time kids are out of high school, they are in midlife or often peri menopause and it’s been so long they find it intimidating to go back to the world. With lack of experience and up to date certifications as well as advancement in their fields, all they can get it often not attractive enough to leave their psychological barriers. It’s not taken seriously by the society but there should be system in place to help them with this transition.

Lates 30s, professional degree, 15+ years of experience when I started SAH. I would like to see backup statistics for your assertion. I have met far more SAH women in my situation than the one you described.

Late 30’s with 15+ experience isn’t where most young women start.

In DC it definitely is.

from my DMV experience, the SAHMs I know are roughly divided between the camps of 15+ and <10 years of experience. Those in the latter had not always broken through to full management positions, so not a lot of advancement in their fields.

Anonymous wrote:I think most women are young and naive when they makes decision to become SAHM, it’s mostly due to circumstance and societal conditioning. Once they do, it becomes difficult to leave all the responsibilities, by the time kids are out of high school, they are in midlife or often peri menopause and it’s been so long they find it intimidating to go back to the world. With lack of experience and up to date certifications as well as advancement in their fields, all they can get it often not attractive enough to leave their psychological barriers. It’s not taken seriously by the society but there should be system in place to help them with this transition.

Agree with this. I’ve seen this happen to most UMC SAHMs I know. When they quit their jobs, they seem naive to the longer term repercussions. They end up taking on the bulk of housework and childcare and their husband is fully trained that their wife handles all of that. Over time, they losing earning power while their husband continues to earn more money. They end up in a position where it doesn’t make sense to return to work.

For true equality, women need to respect and defend each other’s choices, tearing each other apart wouldn’t help the cause. It’s not like taking care of home and kids isn’t tough work. We need a cleaner, a nanny and a part time house manager to run our lives and schedules and still feel guilt. If it was so easy to run homes and raise kids, there won’t be a trillion dollar industry providing home and childcare.

First, stay at home women were judging working women for seeking outside life, now working women are judging other women for seeking family life. In most cases, it’s not even ideology but circumstances which push man and women into making choices for survival. Give respect, get respect.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Makes sure you have your own money just in case.

This goes for WOHMs too. I mean if you are in a low paying job and making peanuts, you are poor. You might as well slit your wrist!!

At least those folks are making something and have current job experience that employers value. Most employers, even though it may be unfair, do not.

Women need to understand one thing, they don’t owe world an explanation of their decisions. No one is doing everything right, we are all trying to figure out what life keeps throwing at us. One lifestyle isn’t superior to other. All that matters isn’t being forced into your decisions, no matter it’s focusing on family, on work or awkwardly trying to juggle both. It’s your life, you didn’t give anyone an invite to observe and judge.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think most women are young and naive when they makes decision to become SAHM, it’s mostly due to circumstance and societal conditioning. Once they do, it becomes difficult to leave all the responsibilities, by the time kids are out of high school, they are in midlife or often peri menopause and it’s been so long they find it intimidating to go back to the world. With lack of experience and up to date certifications as well as advancement in their fields, all they can get it often not attractive enough to leave their psychological barriers. It’s not taken seriously by the society but there should be system in place to help them with this transition.

Lates 30s, professional degree, 15+ years of experience when I started SAH. I would like to see backup statistics for your assertion. I have met far more SAH women in my situation than the one you described.

Late 30’s with 15+ experience isn’t where most young women start.

In DC it definitely is.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think most women are young and naive when they makes decision to become SAHM, it’s mostly due to circumstance and societal conditioning. Once they do, it becomes difficult to leave all the responsibilities, by the time kids are out of high school, they are in midlife or often peri menopause and it’s been so long they find it intimidating to go back to the world. With lack of experience and up to date certifications as well as advancement in their fields, all they can get it often not attractive enough to leave their psychological barriers. It’s not taken seriously by the society but there should be system in place to help them with this transition.

Lates 30s, professional degree, 15+ years of experience when I started SAH. I would like to see backup statistics for your assertion. I have met far more SAH women in my situation than the one you described.

Late 30’s with 15+ experience isn’t where most young women start.

Anonymous wrote:Its fine. I think I was out ten years and realized I probably would never go back. I too feel like it has become a 1950s type relationship.

As long as both of you are reasonably happy, who is to say which model of relationship is better for your unit. No model is perfect with 100% satisfaction for 100% of the time for whole family.

Anonymous wrote:I think most women are young and naive when they makes decision to become SAHM, it’s mostly due to circumstance and societal conditioning. Once they do, it becomes difficult to leave all the responsibilities, by the time kids are out of high school, they are in midlife or often peri menopause and it’s been so long they find it intimidating to go back to the world. With lack of experience and up to date certifications as well as advancement in their fields, all they can get it often not attractive enough to leave their psychological barriers. It’s not taken seriously by the society but there should be system in place to help them with this transition.

+1

Its fine. I think I was out ten years and realized I probably would never go back. I too feel like it has become a 1950s type relationship.

Anonymous wrote:I think most women are young and naive when they makes decision to become SAHM, it’s mostly due to circumstance and societal conditioning. Once they do, it becomes difficult to leave all the responsibilities, by the time kids are out of high school, they are in midlife or often peri menopause and it’s been so long they find it intimidating to go back to the world. With lack of experience and up to date certifications as well as advancement in their fields, all they can get it often not attractive enough to leave their psychological barriers. It’s not taken seriously by the society but there should be system in place to help them with this transition.

Lates 30s, professional degree, 15+ years of experience when I started SAH. I would like to see backup statistics for your assertion. I have met far more SAH women in my situation than the one you described.

I think most women are young and naive when they makes decision to become SAHM, it’s mostly due to circumstance and societal conditioning. Once they do, it becomes difficult to leave all the responsibilities, by the time kids are out of high school, they are in midlife or often peri menopause and it’s been so long they find it intimidating to go back to the world. With lack of experience and up to date certifications as well as advancement in their fields, all they can get it often not attractive enough to leave their psychological barriers. It’s not taken seriously by the society but there should be system in place to help them with this transition.

I absolutely love being a stay at home mom. I was a former financial
Journalist that worked on Capitol Hill and the thought of having to divide myself into pieces to sort out pickup, drop off and general life management for our kids is not the right fit for me. In every single family I see the working mom bears the enormously disproportionate burden of household items and household management over the husband even if she is the primary income earner with the greater career arc potential. I don’t care if you’re earning mid six figures for it, it just isn’t something I wanted to do. I’m super thankful and fortunate that I have a very supportive partner who earns a sizable income and has even greater earning potential so we have a good life with financial security and don’t feel that the sacrifice I made to stay at home is untenable. My partner helps, works from home, and is super involved with our little children who are under the age of 10.
I manage our rental properties that also generate an income, and I have a small work from home job that I do when the kids are at school that helps keep my resume current, and I plan to find something a little more substantive at some point in the near future. However it will have to be something that enables me to be present and at home for kid school drop off/pickup/snow days and days at home because we both believe they will actually need a present primary parent MORE as they get older and not less. Kids today are facing an incredible mountain of challenges and our “work” isn’t done when they are dealing with all the issues of middle and high school; if anything, they will need us more. Again, every family figures out the division of work on their own and figures out the path that works for their family. This area is expensive and it’s tough to know I sacrificed “earning potential” still i am at peace with my decision and I absolutely love my life.

What’s important is men and women work as partners, it doesn’t matter how they divide it. It can be both working outside part time to share family responsibilities or one stay home or taking turns.