Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be okay with testing accommodations if the student's test score and academic transcripts indicated that testing accomodations were used. What isn't fair is that people want both the advantage of testing accomodations and the privacy of pretending that those accomodations were not used and that their child was able to take the same exact test in the exact same conditions.

That creates stigma and an “other than” class distinction. It would be ripe for discrimination.

So, exactly what the PP said then? They want to take advantage of the accommodations because they have different nrrds, but no, they are not different.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually don't think the extra time accommodations are a problem. I think the problem is how many parents are raising young adults to believe they are incompetent and can't make their way in the world without special accommodations. It's so hard to start life thinking there is something this wrong with you.

Actually it is raising kids to think it is okay to cheat the system and that they are entitled to....

Why is it cheating? Sad that people thing this because they are upset their kids can't compete agains kids with special needs. And now they want extra time because they are so incompetent. Sad.

I think it's pretty clear that many of us don't think these kids actually have special needs at all. If 20-25% of the kids at a very selective school have this "need," it's more common than being left-handed or blond, and just about as deserving of special treatment.

I'm near sighted. It's really common to be near sighted. Using your "logic" I shouldn't be allowed to wear glasses, because there are enough of us that it's not deserving of special treatment.

Those of us who don't need extra time on tests and assignments, don't need note takers, don't need those accommodations aren't losing out on anything. Just like people who don't need to wear glasses aren't missing out on anything by not wearing glasses.

Anonymous wrote:My DC had a reader and a scribe accommodation form the college board, it comes with 50% more time. This is because it takes longer to take a test with a reader and a scribe. There is a delay from when one person reads a questions and when the next person hears it. There is also a delay when the test taker tells the scribe the answer and the scribe bubbles it in, or in the case of the essay - when the scribe writes/types it out.

For those who only have 50% extra time, they are in a room with everyone less with that accommodation and they have to sit tight for the full time for each section just like in the classrooms where they have 100% of the time. That makes for a very long day.

For those of you proposing that everyone receives the extra 50%, would your DC’s be able to sit tight for that extra time, even if they did not need it in the first place?

Yes as they will be able to check their answers or do that extra question since they will have more time

My DC had a reader and a scribe accommodation form the college board, it comes with 50% more time. This is because it takes longer to take a test with a reader and a scribe. There is a delay from when one person reads a questions and when the next person hears it. There is also a delay when the test taker tells the scribe the answer and the scribe bubbles it in, or in the case of the essay - when the scribe writes/types it out.

For those who only have 50% extra time, they are in a room with everyone less with that accommodation and they have to sit tight for the full time for each section just like in the classrooms where they have 100% of the time. That makes for a very long day.

For those of you proposing that everyone receives the extra 50%, would your DC’s be able to sit tight for that extra time, even if they did not need it in the first place?

Anonymous wrote:I would be okay with testing accommodations if the student's test score and academic transcripts indicated that testing accomodations were used. What isn't fair is that people want both the advantage of testing accomodations and the privacy of pretending that those accomodations were not used and that their child was able to take the same exact test in the exact same conditions.

That creates stigma and an “other than” class distinction. It would be ripe for discrimination.

PP with the all ADHD family. And I will add that I think ADHD is overdiagnosed in boys and underdiagnosed in girls, because girls are so much better than boys in executive functioning. Girls mask ADHD well, but the stress of masking it makes them anxious and drags them down. Boys are lagging behind girls in late ES and MS and early HS because their pre-frontal cortex develops later and we expect more from them than their brain development is ready for. But that’s just my theory.

Anonymous wrote:Well, so, if your child attends one of these schools who accepts a lot of kids with accommodations is anyone worried about their kid pairing off with a severely ADHD kid? After reading the relationship and family relationship forums & observing married friends it seems difficult to be married to someone with severe ADHD. Parenting and chores, keeping a job - there seem to be many common issues.

I have ADHD, my husband has ADHD and both my kids have ADHD. I was diagnosed in law school back in the 90s wHen adult ADHD was not a thing and what you looked for was hyperactivity. My son in ES but it was obvious very early. My husband because he saw so much of himself in our son, and how much treatment helped him. DD would likely still be undiagnosed in MS but deep into treatment for anxiety if we did not have a strong family history and know what to look for. PP is right. Bright girls with ADHD compensate until the hit a breaking point. But compensating and constantly trying to keep things from falling through the cracks can cause a lot of anxiety. Both DD and I effectively treat anxiety with Adderall, which has the exact opposite effect in no-ADHD kids.

We are a pretty well functioning family. Boring, nerdy. No affairs. No substance abuse. Same jobs for both parents for more than a decade. House in a good school district in NOVA. Both DH and I compensate, although we compensate differently. Sometime I will show you my master family calender on google in a different color for each member of the family, with the same colors on the calender on the fridge. Did I mention ADHD makes women anxious? I think we function pretty well. I think it helps that all 4 of us understand each other, and have mutually agreed to be kind about genuine screwups in things like turning homework in. Or forgetting to email about a play date.

We teach our kids that ADHD is a medical condition. And like many medical conditions, it can be managed so that it does not interfere with your life. We feel strongly about aggressively managing the kids ADHD. And being proactive with our own. They are on medication, but they also took Strategies for Success in MS, and my HS student has an executive functioning coach, which helps a lot. DD gets one whether she wants it or not at the start of HS. At various times, both kids have done short term work with therapists. DD on anxiety. DS when we ran into internet use issues. I watch Gradebook closely. And if you have a missing assignment, I own your iPhone until it is turned in.

In an ideal world, they go to college without needing accommodations, but we choose colleges that work well with their learning needs. See also: not a huge university with big lectures. DS uses extended time in math only, because that is where he needs extended time. He has extended time on the college board, but says he only uses it on the math section. Which is fine. The scores are good. DD might or might not need them when we get there. I would love to not have to go through the hassle of applying. But I will if I need to.

I didn’t choose to have ADHD. I didn’t choose to have ADHD kids. But they are amazing and are going to go great places. And I definitely would not take the ADHD out. It’s part of who they are. They would not be them without the ADHD piece, and it is both annoying and hysterical when DD trails off in the middle of a conversation because... hey butterfly! Sigh.

I guess I chose to marry a man with ADHD. So you have me there. But I would not undo the decision. He is smart and kind and funny and a wonderful dad and has a great job and...you get the point. I feel very lucky to have married him. 20 years ago.

Maybe this isn’t what you wanted. But ADHD is what you make of it. In our family, we all have brown hair, and we all love Lord of the Rings and we all have ADHD. We all have a sense of humor about the inevitable mixups. And there is a fair amount of teasing about them.

I think you would be lucky to be one of us. But I’m partial.

Anonymous wrote:Well, so, if your child attends one of these schools who accepts a lot of kids with accommodations is anyone worried about their kid pairing off with a severely ADHD kid? After reading the relationship and family relationship forums & observing married friends it seems difficult to be married to someone with severe ADHD. Parenting and chores, keeping a job - there seem to be many common issues.

All marital difficulties aside, there is a large genetic component to ADHD, so there’s that.

Well, so, if your child attends one of these schools who accepts a lot of kids with accommodations is anyone worried about their kid pairing off with a severely ADHD kid? After reading the relationship and family relationship forums & observing married friends it seems difficult to be married to someone with severe ADHD. Parenting and chores, keeping a job - there seem to be many common issues.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be okay with testing accommodations if the student's test score and academic transcripts indicated that testing accomodations were used. What isn't fair is that people want both the advantage of testing accomodations and the privacy of pretending that those accomodations were not used and that their child was able to take the same exact test in the exact same conditions.

Why do you feel the need to have your kid compete against a kid with special needs. You are basically saying you want your kid to have an advantage with this statement.

I don't see why this has become personal but the fact is one of my kids would likely have qualified for testing accomodations, both extra time and writing accomodations. This was an option that some teachers thought we should look into. So no, I am not against kids who have invisible special needs or who have to struggle so much more than other kids for the same result, but I still don't think that pretending that they took the same exact test is fair either.

But my kid did take the same test. Your poor kid. You should have gotten him the accommodations. What a shitty parent you are.

Sometimes with luck and much hard work, some highly distractible kids with poor motor skills can improve to the point where accommodations are not necessasry. My kid was one of those kids. He is doing quite well, thank you. He is a confident kid who gets top marks at school and on standardized tests.

Well then don't complain about the kids who took advantage of the accommodations they are entitled to.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be okay with testing accommodations if the student's test score and academic transcripts indicated that testing accomodations were used. What isn't fair is that people want both the advantage of testing accomodations and the privacy of pretending that those accomodations were not used and that their child was able to take the same exact test in the exact same conditions.

Why do you feel the need to have your kid compete against a kid with special needs. You are basically saying you want your kid to have an advantage with this statement.

I don't see why this has become personal but the fact is one of my kids would likely have qualified for testing accomodations, both extra time and writing accomodations. This was an option that some teachers thought we should look into. So no, I am not against kids who have invisible special needs or who have to struggle so much more than other kids for the same result, but I still don't think that pretending that they took the same exact test is fair either.

But my kid did take the same test. Your poor kid. You should have gotten him the accommodations. What a shitty parent you are.

Sometimes with luck and much hard work, some highly distractible kids with poor motor skills can improve to the point where accommodations are not necessasry. My kid was one of those kids. He is doing quite well, thank you. He is a confident kid who gets top marks at school and on standardized tests.

Why do you guys keep feeding the “my ADHD kid is vastly superior to your honors student” troll?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually don't think the extra time accommodations are a problem. I think the problem is how many parents are raising young adults to believe they are incompetent and can't make their way in the world without special accommodations. It's so hard to start life thinking there is something this wrong with you.

Actually it is raising kids to think it is okay to cheat the system and that they are entitled to....

Why is it cheating? Sad that people thing this because they are upset their kids can't compete agains kids with special needs. And now they want extra time because they are so incompetent. Sad.

I think it's pretty clear that many of us don't think these kids actually have special needs at all. If 20-25% of the kids at a very selective school have this "need," it's more common than being left-handed or blond, and just about as deserving of special treatment.

Or, in the case of one PP, she thinks that her kid has legitimate disabilities but everybody else's kid doesn't.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually don't think the extra time accommodations are a problem. I think the problem is how many parents are raising young adults to believe they are incompetent and can't make their way in the world without special accommodations. It's so hard to start life thinking there is something this wrong with you.

Actually it is raising kids to think it is okay to cheat the system and that they are entitled to....

Why is it cheating? Sad that people thing this because they are upset their kids can't compete agains kids with special needs. And now they want extra time because they are so incompetent. Sad.

I think it's pretty clear that many of us don't think these kids actually have special needs at all. If 20-25% of the kids at a very selective school have this "need," it's more common than being left-handed or blond, and just about as deserving of special treatment.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually don't think the extra time accommodations are a problem. I think the problem is how many parents are raising young adults to believe they are incompetent and can't make their way in the world without special accommodations. It's so hard to start life thinking there is something this wrong with you.

Actually it is raising kids to think it is okay to cheat the system and that they are entitled to....

Why is it cheating? Sad that people thing this because they are upset their kids can't compete agains kids with special needs. And now they want extra time because they are so incompetent. Sad.