Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is totally understandable to me. Say, conservatively, cousin has invited 15 couples with 2 kids each. That’s quickly 30 extra people. And those extra people are likely to cry through the ceremony and run amuck on the dance floor. You need to decide whether it’s worth it you to attend the wedding or not.

I say this as someone who also is juggling childcare for an upcoming cousins wedding, and who invited kids to my own wedding. The only situation where I think this is kind of uncool is if there are kids close to the couple (e.g. nieces and nephews) who would really be eager to be there. Cousins kids don’t count. It’s alsonice if the hosts can provide local babysitting recs (we did this for people who wanted to stay late).

It surprises me that people care so much about kids “ruining” the day. So a baby cries or a 5 year old dances on the dance floor. What’s the big deal? The kids parents will deal with them. It’s not like the bride has to babysit. If the issue is that you can’t stand the idea that someone may spend more time looking at the cleansing kid than at you, or won’t hear every second of your scintillating vows because a kid might be talking, well, grow up already and get over it. I very wedding I have ever been to has had kids. Including my wedding. Never been a problem.

The fact that you think the vows are unimportant makes me think you'd be a shitty selfish guest

I'm really not. I have never taken my own kids to a wedding, and when we go to places that they need to be quiet, we always sit by the exit and leave if they act up at all. However, I am not bothered by other people's kids acting up a bit as long as they are young. In my family and all the other families I'm close to, weddings are about uniting families, and families are about children. It would be painfully sterile to have a wedding without children. The chatter of a baby makes everyone smile. I'm not talking about a 4 year old having a tantrum. But a 2 year old who says "mommy look at Aunt Susie!" or whatever and the mother gently shushing her -- that doesn't bother me; it's expected.

And if you think people are listening to every word of your vows, you're mistaken. Most vows are rote. Those that aren't, usually aren't in a weird way.

I'm cool with no kids at family weddings. I'm not cool with asking a sibling who is in the wedding to drive two hours with their kid + spouse and newborns so the kid could be the ring bearer and then not allow the kids to attend the reception.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is totally understandable to me. Say, conservatively, cousin has invited 15 couples with 2 kids each. That’s quickly 30 extra people. And those extra people are likely to cry through the ceremony and run amuck on the dance floor. You need to decide whether it’s worth it you to attend the wedding or not.

I say this as someone who also is juggling childcare for an upcoming cousins wedding, and who invited kids to my own wedding. The only situation where I think this is kind of uncool is if there are kids close to the couple (e.g. nieces and nephews) who would really be eager to be there. Cousins kids don’t count. It’s alsonice if the hosts can provide local babysitting recs (we did this for people who wanted to stay late).

It surprises me that people care so much about kids “ruining” the day. So a baby cries or a 5 year old dances on the dance floor. What’s the big deal? The kids parents will deal with them. It’s not like the bride has to babysit. If the issue is that you can’t stand the idea that someone may spend more time looking at the cleansing kid than at you, or won’t hear every second of your scintillating vows because a kid might be talking, well, grow up already and get over it. I very wedding I have ever been to has had kids. Including my wedding. Never been a problem.

The fact that you think the vows are unimportant makes me think you'd be a shitty selfish guest

Stay home, and send a framed photo of your lovely children as a wedding present.

I would stay home and save so much money!

If you don't want kids at the wedding, just do what we did. Get married in Vegas. That generally does a good job of getting the male of a household with kids to come and the mom to stay home with the brood.

Anonymous wrote:Whatever you do, if you are hosting a child-free wedding please make it clear somewhere on the invite! We received a wedding invitation for DHs cousin. Only DHs name was on the (postcard style) invitation-though there was a blank for us to right who was attending on the response card. The wedding website said nothing to the effect of no children for the wedding (which is being held in the afternoon at an outdoor venue). DHs brother contacted the groom to ask who was invited (since they were confused by the invitation too). Turns out they don't want kids--which fine--but communicate that somewhere! Anyway, we thought we'd go, but now we aren't.

Pro tip: if it doesn’t say “and family,” they aren’t invited.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is totally understandable to me. Say, conservatively, cousin has invited 15 couples with 2 kids each. That’s quickly 30 extra people. And those extra people are likely to cry through the ceremony and run amuck on the dance floor. You need to decide whether it’s worth it you to attend the wedding or not.

I say this as someone who also is juggling childcare for an upcoming cousins wedding, and who invited kids to my own wedding. The only situation where I think this is kind of uncool is if there are kids close to the couple (e.g. nieces and nephews) who would really be eager to be there. Cousins kids don’t count. It’s alsonice if the hosts can provide local babysitting recs (we did this for people who wanted to stay late).

It surprises me that people care so much about kids “ruining” the day. So a baby cries or a 5 year old dances on the dance floor. What’s the big deal? The kids parents will deal with them. It’s not like the bride has to babysit. If the issue is that you can’t stand the idea that someone may spend more time looking at the cleansing kid than at you, or won’t hear every second of your scintillating vows because a kid might be talking, well, grow up already and get over it. I very wedding I have ever been to has had kids. Including my wedding. Never been a problem.

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why your kids are not welcome at weddings.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is totally understandable to me. Say, conservatively, cousin has invited 15 couples with 2 kids each. That’s quickly 30 extra people. And those extra people are likely to cry through the ceremony and run amuck on the dance floor. You need to decide whether it’s worth it you to attend the wedding or not.

I say this as someone who also is juggling childcare for an upcoming cousins wedding, and who invited kids to my own wedding. The only situation where I think this is kind of uncool is if there are kids close to the couple (e.g. nieces and nephews) who would really be eager to be there. Cousins kids don’t count. It’s alsonice if the hosts can provide local babysitting recs (we did this for people who wanted to stay late).

It surprises me that people care so much about kids “ruining” the day. So a baby cries or a 5 year old dances on the dance floor. What’s the big deal? The kids parents will deal with them. It’s not like the bride has to babysit. If the issue is that you can’t stand the idea that someone may spend more time looking at the cleansing kid than at you, or won’t hear every second of your scintillating vows because a kid might be talking, well, grow up already and get over it. I very wedding I have ever been to has had kids. Including my wedding. Never been a problem.

See, this is why people don't want kids at their wedding - because parents like you won't immediately remove a noisy kid interrupting the ceremony.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will never understand why people who hire babysitters so they can go on date nights and out their kids on day care all week get bent out of shape because they can't take their kids along to a wedding for a few hours. Hire a friggin baby sitter. It's not a big deal.

At a hotel? No. Op says a lot of people have to travel.

Yes. Ask people who live locally for recommended baby sitters. Why people think their are entitled to bring kids to their weddings is beyond me. It's bizarre - people leave their kids with baby sitters all the time but for an event like a wedding that just CANT be away from them for four or five hours?

I don’t live my kids alone with an unknown babysitter. If the wedding is local. No problem, I will get a babysitter, if I have to travel then the kids need to come

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't ban children from my wedding years ago (my stepdaughter and nephew were in the wedding), but I am attending a wedding where children are not allowed/invited. I am happy about this, lol.

The wedding is happening on our anniversary and I am looking forward to enjoying it without having to chase our kids around.

Yes, I agree. It's a day without kids. In tiber minds they are bored at weddings. But not us. It's a wonderful day of the union of two people

Absolutely. My kids would be totally bored so they are going to stay with their uncle while DH and I enjoy the wedding/reception and celebrate our anniversary later on

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It it the couple getting married special day. It is not about you or what you want or what you think is tacky. It is about them! Kindly decline and stop complaining! Your an adult, if you really want to go I’m sure you could find care for your children.

I'll stop complaining when I stop hearing about how horrible I am for declining.

It goes both ways: couples are entitled to childfree weddings without getting grief. Parents are entitled to decline due to logistics without getting grief.

I'm guessing people said you were horrible for the way in which you declined, not the fact that you declined. You sound like the kind of person who bitched about no kids at the wedding, your kids are perfect, blah blah blah. So as PP said, stop complaining.

*in thier

Anonymous wrote:I didn't ban children from my wedding years ago (my stepdaughter and nephew were in the wedding), but I am attending a wedding where children are not allowed/invited. I am happy about this, lol.

The wedding is happening on our anniversary and I am looking forward to enjoying it without having to chase our kids around.

Yes, I agree. It's a day without kids. In tiber minds they are bored at weddings. But not us. It's a wonderful day of the union of two people

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is totally understandable to me. Say, conservatively, cousin has invited 15 couples with 2 kids each. That’s quickly 30 extra people. And those extra people are likely to cry through the ceremony and run amuck on the dance floor. You need to decide whether it’s worth it you to attend the wedding or not.

I say this as someone who also is juggling childcare for an upcoming cousins wedding, and who invited kids to my own wedding. The only situation where I think this is kind of uncool is if there are kids close to the couple (e.g. nieces and nephews) who would really be eager to be there. Cousins kids don’t count. It’s alsonice if the hosts can provide local babysitting recs (we did this for people who wanted to stay late).

It surprises me that people care so much about kids “ruining” the day. So a baby cries or a 5 year old dances on the dance floor. What’s the big deal? The kids parents will deal with them. It’s not like the bride has to babysit. If the issue is that you can’t stand the idea that someone may spend more time looking at the cleansing kid than at you, or won’t hear every second of your scintillating vows because a kid might be talking, well, grow up already and get over it. I very wedding I have ever been to has had kids. Including my wedding. Never been a problem.

I have always been very pro-kids for weddings. My cousin's son (toddler at the time) wailed nonstop during my wedding ceremony and my cousin did nothing about it. My sister had to ask him to step out so people could hear. The problem with kids at weddings isn't so much that they do kid-like things sometimes, it's that their parents are often too oblivious to remove them when they become disruptive.

+1

I think brides and grooms know full well who the irresponsible parents will be, and call it accordingly.