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Anonymous wrote:
That kind of self-centeredness is purely evil when you are talking about your children's sibling. Put your kids first, sure. Insist that their sibling be abandoned so that you can enjoy better finances? That's morally reprehensible. It makes her worse than the cheater.

Nope. Her moral obligation to her husband's bastard spawn is exactly the same as her moral obligation to any other child in the world that's not hers: ZERO.

She is not morally obliged to feed, clothe, house, or care for any other child but her own. If she chooses to do so, that's admirable, but she is not "self-centered and evil" if she does not.

Totally agree. This is ridiculous babble by people who are either too dumb or themselves too insensitive to understand.

Anonymous wrote:
That kind of self-centeredness is purely evil when you are talking about your children's sibling. Put your kids first, sure. Insist that their sibling be abandoned so that you can enjoy better finances? That's morally reprehensible. It makes her worse than the cheater.

Nope. Her moral obligation to her husband's bastard spawn is exactly the same as her moral obligation to any other child in the world that's not hers: ZERO.

She is not morally obliged to feed, clothe, house, or care for any other child but her own. If she chooses to do so, that's admirable, but she is not "self-centered and evil" if she does not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My father slept with my 17 year old cousin (mother's niece). He also slept with the 16 year old babysitter and a host of his coworkers (who were also my mother's coworkers because they worked together). My mother blamed the women and girls and stayed with him. Although I was only 5 at the time he slept with my cousin, I distinctly recall knowing something was off and I missed her terribly because she was sweet, vulnerable and kind.

Years later, when I learned of why my favorite cousin had suddenly disappeared from my life, I lost tremendous respect for both of my parents. By then, I had also found out about the other affairs because the fallout from some of them was public. I have a great deal of contempt for both of my parents. My father is a disgusting pig and my mother is a spineless coward.

So where was this, Kentucky, West Virginia, Arkansas?

It would be legal in MD.

Anonymous wrote:10:58 wins my award for most amazing wronged wife story. Hats off to that woman & so awed by her ability to do the right AND expedient, smart thing. Holy sh*t.

Yes. But often the OW is a real piece of work, making that kind of relationship impossible.

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Anonymous wrote:Was talking about this thread with a friend who said that the exact same thing happened in her family. Her parents had SEVEN kids, and her father became distant. He was having an affair, and the woman got pregnant, and expected to control him. He actually left his wife to be with this woman. Then the lawyers got together to discuss the divorce, and he realized that he would lose "everything". So he scrambled back and begged his wife to take him back. She had kids ages 2-16. She took him back, but only with the condition that he cut off all, ALL, contact with the other woman and the child. Fast forward 35 years, they are happily married.
My friend said that a divorce would have been expensive and acrimonious. Her siblings would not have stood a chance of college at all. The other child did get support until age 18. Yes, "unfair", but in this case, more kids (7) were better off. One child, was worse off.

That's crazy! With 7 kids, that's probably the only way it could have worked out. You can't really leave a marriage with 7 kids.

Maybe. But I have no respect for a person who ask their spouse to cut off another child, no matter how the child came to being. That is some nastiness right there.

There was a lot of nastiness. The nastiest was the father, then the OW, then the mother of the 7 kids who puts her brain into pure survival mode.

Yeah, the mother of 7 is BY FAR the best person, morally, in the situation.

No one disagrees. But she is still evil. And did she screw her husband knowing the only reason he was with her was because he could not afford to be with the other woman?

I hope some of you supporting this are not the very ones shitting on Melania Trump in the Political Forum.

When people are in survival mode, how can you call them evil? She has to do what she has to do. She needs an intact home to raise the kids. She NEEDS that. OW obviously was willing to risk it all, and she lost. In this case, wife was right and her children should thank her for taking control of the situation and protecting them.

She WANTS that. She doesn't need it. The kids aren't going to get eaten by bears or slaughtered by a rival village if she is divorced. Lots of divorced families out there getting along just fine.

It's kind of crazy that you expect a mother to sacrifice the wellbeing of her seven kids, their education, stable home and financial security in favor of another child unrelated to her who she neither met nor wanted in her life. A mother looks our for her kids, number one, two and three. She doesn't care about any other kids, nor should she.

That kind of self-centeredness is purely evil when you are talking about your children's sibling. Put your kids first, sure. Insist that their sibling be abandoned so that you can enjoy better finances? That's morally reprehensible. It makes her worse than the cheater.

Their half-sibling did get support so she wasn't abandoned financially.

As for the other sort of abandonment, the wellbeing of her seven children depended heavily on having a stable home. No marriage can withstand constant contact with the mistress, so separating from the side family was the right thing to do for the survival of the original one.

Anonymous wrote:10:58 wins my award for most amazing wronged wife story. Hats off to that woman & so awed by her ability to do the right AND expedient, smart thing. Holy sh*t.

You can only do that sort of thing if you have no feeling left for your husband (and no one is saying you should, after this) and view him primarily as a convenience and an ATM. Otherwise no woman would put a mistress so close to her husband. I am curious how the home life went after the babysitter moved in, and how the husband treated both women in the home. Did he sleep with both or with neither? Did the mother continue to sleep with him fearing for her financial wellbeing?

What a wretched, excruciating situation, and how stupid and selfish are the men who put women and children into this mess.

My daughter's birth parents had an affair with each other while both married to others. They placed her for adoption (her birth father even came to the agency to sign away his rights with his wife) and to my knowledge, neither couple has divorced. My daughter has three half-siblings; the one on her mother's side was definitely old enough to be aware of what was happening. Her siblings on her dad's side were teens and young adults, but I don't know how much they knew.

My BIL cheated on my SIL at least with one woman that we know of. He got her pregnant (secretary- so clichéd!) and paid child support for awhile, had the kid's picture up in their home, etc., but eventually the mother married and her husband adopted the child. BIL and SIL were married for over 25 years before they got divorced- I don't know how much the past infidelities played a part in the breakup, if at all, but that was not the reason given.

Anonymous wrote:My father slept with my 17 year old cousin (mother's niece). He also slept with the 16 year old babysitter and a host of his coworkers (who were also my mother's coworkers because they worked together). My mother blamed the women and girls and stayed with him. Although I was only 5 at the time he slept with my cousin, I distinctly recall knowing something was off and I missed her terribly because she was sweet, vulnerable and kind.

Years later, when I learned of why my favorite cousin had suddenly disappeared from my life, I lost tremendous respect for both of my parents. By then, I had also found out about the other affairs because the fallout from some of them was public. I have a great deal of contempt for both of my parents. My father is a disgusting pig and my mother is a spineless coward.

So where was this, Kentucky, West Virginia, Arkansas?

10:58 wins my award for most amazing wronged wife story. Hats off to that woman & so awed by her ability to do the right AND expedient, smart thing. Holy sh*t.

This story is about the parents of a childhood friend of mine. The details didn't all come out until much, much later.

Friend had a babysitter that lived just across the street. Babysitter was 16, maybe 17 years old (friend isn't exactly sure, but definitely a teenager in high school). Friend's dad got the babysitter pregnant.

Babysitter was kicked out of her own house by her very religious parents. My friend's mom viewed the poor girl as a victim and felt that her husband needed to take care of the girl. But, being a SAHM with two small kids of her own and only a high school degree, she didn't feel it would be best for her own kids to divorce. So, she had the babysitter move in with them.

Babysitter had the baby while living with my friend's family. Friend's mom took care of the baby while the babysitter went to school, so that she could get a diploma. Babysitter babysat for my friend and her brother in exchange for room and board. Friend's mom used all the extra babysitting time to go to night school and get an associate's degree. Essentially they jointly took care of all 3 kids while both going to school at different times of day. It was presented to everyone (including my friend) that they were just being good Christians and helping out this neighborhood teen; her dad's responsibility in the situation wasn't acknowledged until decades later (although I do believe he continued to pay child support after they moved out).

Eventually, after graduating high school, babysitter moved out with her baby. Friend's parents stayed together for another 15 years, but did eventually divorce (by then, her mom had built a decent career using the associates degree). Friend is still in touch with the babysitter and her child, who my friend now openly calls her sister.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My father slept with my 17 year old cousin (mother's niece). He also slept with the 16 year old babysitter and a host of his coworkers (who were also my mother's coworkers because they worked together). My mother blamed the women and girls and stayed with him. Although I was only 5 at the time he slept with my cousin, I distinctly recall knowing something was off and I missed her terribly because she was sweet, vulnerable and kind.

Years later, when I learned of why my favorite cousin had suddenly disappeared from my life, I lost tremendous respect for both of my parents. By then, I had also found out about the other affairs because the fallout from some of them was public. I have a great deal of contempt for both of my parents. My father is a disgusting pig and my mother is a spineless coward.

16 year old baby sitter would make him guilty of statutory rape in many states. Sleeping with the 17 year old cousin is abusive.

Your dad is worse than a pig. He's an abuser. Your mom is complicit in sexual abuse.

PP here. Agreed. Knowing that she would cover up the abuse of minors forever changed my view of her. There is also the fact that my cousin was living with us because she had just lost both parents. Even at age 5, I could sense how lonely and adrift she was. My father is a predatory animal.

Anonymous wrote:My father slept with my 17 year old cousin (mother's niece). He also slept with the 16 year old babysitter and a host of his coworkers (who were also my mother's coworkers because they worked together). My mother blamed the women and girls and stayed with him. Although I was only 5 at the time he slept with my cousin, I distinctly recall knowing something was off and I missed her terribly because she was sweet, vulnerable and kind.

Years later, when I learned of why my favorite cousin had suddenly disappeared from my life, I lost tremendous respect for both of my parents. By then, I had also found out about the other affairs because the fallout from some of them was public. I have a great deal of contempt for both of my parents. My father is a disgusting pig and my mother is a spineless coward.

16 year old baby sitter would make him guilty of statutory rape in many states. Sleeping with the 17 year old cousin is abusive.

Your dad is worse than a pig. He's an abuser. Your mom is complicit in sexual abuse.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Was talking about this thread with a friend who said that the exact same thing happened in her family. Her parents had SEVEN kids, and her father became distant. He was having an affair, and the woman got pregnant, and expected to control him. He actually left his wife to be with this woman. Then the lawyers got together to discuss the divorce, and he realized that he would lose "everything". So he scrambled back and begged his wife to take him back. She had kids ages 2-16. She took him back, but only with the condition that he cut off all, ALL, contact with the other woman and the child. Fast forward 35 years, they are happily married.
My friend said that a divorce would have been expensive and acrimonious. Her siblings would not have stood a chance of college at all. The other child did get support until age 18. Yes, "unfair", but in this case, more kids (7) were better off. One child, was worse off.

That's crazy! With 7 kids, that's probably the only way it could have worked out. You can't really leave a marriage with 7 kids.

Maybe. But I have no respect for a person who ask their spouse to cut off another child, no matter how the child came to being. That is some nastiness right there.

There was a lot of nastiness. The nastiest was the father, then the OW, then the mother of the 7 kids who puts her brain into pure survival mode.

Yeah, the mother of 7 is BY FAR the best person, morally, in the situation.

No one disagrees. But she is still evil. And did she screw her husband knowing the only reason he was with her was because he could not afford to be with the other woman?

I hope some of you supporting this are not the very ones shitting on Melania Trump in the Political Forum.

When people are in survival mode, how can you call them evil? She has to do what she has to do. She needs an intact home to raise the kids. She NEEDS that. OW obviously was willing to risk it all, and she lost. In this case, wife was right and her children should thank her for taking control of the situation and protecting them.

She WANTS that. She doesn't need it. The kids aren't going to get eaten by bears or slaughtered by a rival village if she is divorced. Lots of divorced families out there getting along just fine.

It's kind of crazy that you expect a mother to sacrifice the wellbeing of her seven kids, their education, stable home and financial security in favor of another child unrelated to her who she neither met nor wanted in her life. A mother looks our for her kids, number one, two and three. She doesn't care about any other kids, nor should she.

That kind of self-centeredness is purely evil when you are talking about your children's sibling. Put your kids first, sure. Insist that their sibling be abandoned so that you can enjoy better finances? That's morally reprehensible. It makes her worse than the cheater.

My father slept with my 17 year old cousin (mother's niece). He also slept with the 16 year old babysitter and a host of his coworkers (who were also my mother's coworkers because they worked together). My mother blamed the women and girls and stayed with him. Although I was only 5 at the time he slept with my cousin, I distinctly recall knowing something was off and I missed her terribly because she was sweet, vulnerable and kind.

Years later, when I learned of why my favorite cousin had suddenly disappeared from my life, I lost tremendous respect for both of my parents. By then, I had also found out about the other affairs because the fallout from some of them was public. I have a great deal of contempt for both of my parents. My father is a disgusting pig and my mother is a spineless coward.

My 53 yr old single never married, very well off BIL is having an affair with a 26 yr old married mother of 3 ages 2, 4, and 6. The hot 26 yr old sought him out (they use to work together) he thinks because he is such a great guy?

She got married at 19 when she was 5 months pregnant.

BIl is super proud of having a 26 yr old gf and can't stop talking about what a "fine looking woman" (showed us selfies she sent) and a great mother she is.

Had to listen to this crap over the holidays...