that's awful, because it's so likely to come out anyway. And it might well happen during her teen years, which could be very harmful to her. (and even more harmful to her relationship with her parents. She may feel, in a very dramatic way, that she can never trust them about anything again, that they don't love her, etc.)

Anonymous wrote:to the above PP whose family is hiding the name of the birth father. I agree that is a very bad idea. The girl deserves to know her parentage. She does not need to know the BF was abusive, but the fact that her father is another man and died - that is okay.

I'm PP and I agree--I had always assumed that's what they would tell her. Her father died before she was born, then her mom met her daddy, they got married and he adopted her. That's the truth. I could understand not wanting to lay it on her when she was really young, but they apparently never plan to tell her. I can't, because it's not my decision to make, but I know there is going to be a world of hurt for everyone when this one finally gets out.

I'll let you in on a little secret. There are no normal families just some that are better at hiding their shit.

My mother is paranoid schizophrenic and my dad is bipolar. I envy my friends who have parents who care and that they can trust. I don't know what a normal family is and I am trying to raise one.

to the above PP whose family is hiding the name of the birth father. I agree that is a very bad idea. The girl deserves to know her parentage. She does not need to know the BF was abusive, but the fact that her father is another man and died - that is okay.