Anonymous
06/23/2026 12:52
Subject: Predicting spousal support
There were few actual answers to OP's original question. There are many of us out here who appreciate OP posting the question and would appreciate that question being answered, so if you've been in the same situation, please share your experience.
Anonymous
06/21/2026 22:13
Subject: Predicting spousal support
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Husbands and wives cheat, anyone who cheats sucks. Men typically are more likely to cheat. Most people claim their ex (or future ex) is a narcissist, avoid the crutch of the cliche.
Most states have pretty clear rules on how spousal support and child support work, as some people have said to the OP you can look up these calculators.
Talk to at least 3 lawyers. There are lawyers who will be more proactive in trying to find an agreement, others who will be more aggressive to get it done fast, etc. There are a couple of lawyers who are well established for having the "magic calculator" on what terms will be. If you can talk to one of them you'll get a great estimate for $300.
#1 rule is to be absolutely and totally honest with your lawyer. Whatever you hide will bite you in the ass, as it should. Put in YOUR work in the divorce process to give all the needed information, financial asset documents, etc.
Almost all good lawyers know all the tricks, which makes the process go faster.
It's very hard to prove a spouse is cheating. You basically need a p0rn video, texts or emails explicitly confirming the sex, etc.
If you have kids try and have the divorce result in you and your ex being in a place where you can co-parent the best possible.
This isn't actually true. It's just a stereotype.
It is actually true: 20% marital infidelity rate for men vs 13% for women eg men are 53% more likely to cheat on spouses
https://ifstudies.org/blog/who-cheats-more-the-demographics-of-cheating-in-america
That data admits to being skewed by the larger gap over age 60. The gap is MUCH smaller in younger years.
The data is also 10-16 years old.
So provide more recent data that shows it’s equal
Same source. The "gap is closing" and "shrinking rapidly." https://marriagescience.com/who-cheats-more-men-or-women/
"While men still cheat more than women, the gap is narrowing quickly. Especially among younger generations, infidelity is becoming more equal, driven by opportunity, tech, and evolving gender roles."
So men do in fact cheat more than women, proving the original point and refuting yours. Great job troll (and I'm male).
So, no. You didn’t read it.
You dumb beta cuck.
I love how pathetic (and alone), you are.
"About 20% of married men and 13% of married women admit to having had sex with someone other than their spouse"
Anonymous
06/18/2026 12:33
Subject: Predicting spousal support
Anonymous wrote:Unless you have an airtight pre-nup that works in your favor, NEVER stop working
Whatever. This is only true if you have some BS job in HR or middle management. If you have an actual skill that people will pay you to do (hairdresser, nurse, doctor, CPA, architect, engineer, teacher), you can take a couple of years off or work very part time and go back to it later.
Anonymous
06/18/2026 10:43
Subject: Predicting spousal support
Anonymous wrote:OP here. Just one kid left and a couple years to go. My top priorities are the kid and cleaning him out.
Lock up your kids financial future before the second family gets to it.
Anonymous
06/18/2026 10:30
Subject: Predicting spousal support
Unless you have an airtight pre-nup that works in your favor, NEVER stop working
Anonymous
06/17/2026 09:36
Subject: Predicting spousal support
Anonymous wrote:OP here. Just one kid left and a couple years to go. My top priorities are the kid and cleaning him out.
It will ultimately not be helpful for your future, including emotional well being, to make this into a war and focusing on "cleaning him out".
Follow the advice of the lawyer you pick, be wise with the battles you choose and figure out how you can concede on things you don't care about to get what you prioritize.
If you're going to try and prove he cheated then you're probably already weeks behind on gathering intel. I used two PIs, had proof of them staying in a hotel room, had pictures and videos of them kissing etc. I had that as back up in case she "went rogue" but it was not enough to prove infidelity.
If you haven't gotten copies of every financial and banking record you can do that asap. Download them all. Find hardcopies if they exist and make copies. Back up anything you can. The calendar thing was mentioned pages ago, but were there any other shared calendars? Shared email? Do you have access to anything like that?
If a password to any account was previously given to you willingly you can use that to access information (check with your lawyer to confirm but that's what I was told).
Anonymous
06/17/2026 09:32
Subject: Predicting spousal support
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Husbands and wives cheat, anyone who cheats sucks. Men typically are more likely to cheat. Most people claim their ex (or future ex) is a narcissist, avoid the crutch of the cliche.
Most states have pretty clear rules on how spousal support and child support work, as some people have said to the OP you can look up these calculators.
Talk to at least 3 lawyers. There are lawyers who will be more proactive in trying to find an agreement, others who will be more aggressive to get it done fast, etc. There are a couple of lawyers who are well established for having the "magic calculator" on what terms will be. If you can talk to one of them you'll get a great estimate for $300.
#1 rule is to be absolutely and totally honest with your lawyer. Whatever you hide will bite you in the ass, as it should. Put in YOUR work in the divorce process to give all the needed information, financial asset documents, etc.
Almost all good lawyers know all the tricks, which makes the process go faster.
It's very hard to prove a spouse is cheating. You basically need a p0rn video, texts or emails explicitly confirming the sex, etc.
If you have kids try and have the divorce result in you and your ex being in a place where you can co-parent the best possible.
This isn't actually true. It's just a stereotype.
It is actually true: 20% marital infidelity rate for men vs 13% for women eg men are 53% more likely to cheat on spouses
https://ifstudies.org/blog/who-cheats-more-the-demographics-of-cheating-in-america
That data admits to being skewed by the larger gap over age 60. The gap is MUCH smaller in younger years.
The data is also 10-16 years old.
So provide more recent data that shows it’s equal
Same source. The "gap is closing" and "shrinking rapidly." https://marriagescience.com/who-cheats-more-men-or-women/
"While men still cheat more than women, the gap is narrowing quickly. Especially among younger generations, infidelity is becoming more equal, driven by opportunity, tech, and evolving gender roles."
So men do in fact cheat more than women, proving the original point and refuting yours. Great job troll (and I'm male).
Anonymous
06/16/2026 19:38
Subject: Predicting spousal support
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Husbands and wives cheat, anyone who cheats sucks. Men typically are more likely to cheat. Most people claim their ex (or future ex) is a narcissist, avoid the crutch of the cliche.
Most states have pretty clear rules on how spousal support and child support work, as some people have said to the OP you can look up these calculators.
Talk to at least 3 lawyers. There are lawyers who will be more proactive in trying to find an agreement, others who will be more aggressive to get it done fast, etc. There are a couple of lawyers who are well established for having the "magic calculator" on what terms will be. If you can talk to one of them you'll get a great estimate for $300.
#1 rule is to be absolutely and totally honest with your lawyer. Whatever you hide will bite you in the ass, as it should. Put in YOUR work in the divorce process to give all the needed information, financial asset documents, etc.
Almost all good lawyers know all the tricks, which makes the process go faster.
It's very hard to prove a spouse is cheating. You basically need a p0rn video, texts or emails explicitly confirming the sex, etc.
If you have kids try and have the divorce result in you and your ex being in a place where you can co-parent the best possible.
This isn't actually true. It's just a stereotype.
It is actually true: 20% marital infidelity rate for men vs 13% for women eg men are 53% more likely to cheat on spouses
https://ifstudies.org/blog/who-cheats-more-the-demographics-of-cheating-in-america
That data admits to being skewed by the larger gap over age 60. The gap is MUCH smaller in younger years.
The data is also 10-16 years old.
So provide more recent data that shows it’s equal
Same source. The "gap is closing" and "shrinking rapidly." https://marriagescience.com/who-cheats-more-men-or-women/
"While men still cheat more than women, the gap is narrowing quickly. Especially among younger generations, infidelity is becoming more equal, driven by opportunity, tech, and evolving gender roles."
Anonymous
06/16/2026 19:24
Subject: Predicting spousal support
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Husbands and wives cheat, anyone who cheats sucks. Men typically are more likely to cheat. Most people claim their ex (or future ex) is a narcissist, avoid the crutch of the cliche.
Most states have pretty clear rules on how spousal support and child support work, as some people have said to the OP you can look up these calculators.
Talk to at least 3 lawyers. There are lawyers who will be more proactive in trying to find an agreement, others who will be more aggressive to get it done fast, etc. There are a couple of lawyers who are well established for having the "magic calculator" on what terms will be. If you can talk to one of them you'll get a great estimate for $300.
#1 rule is to be absolutely and totally honest with your lawyer. Whatever you hide will bite you in the ass, as it should. Put in YOUR work in the divorce process to give all the needed information, financial asset documents, etc.
Almost all good lawyers know all the tricks, which makes the process go faster.
It's very hard to prove a spouse is cheating. You basically need a p0rn video, texts or emails explicitly confirming the sex, etc.
If you have kids try and have the divorce result in you and your ex being in a place where you can co-parent the best possible.
This isn't actually true. It's just a stereotype.
It is actually true: 20% marital infidelity rate for men vs 13% for women eg men are 53% more likely to cheat on spouses
https://ifstudies.org/blog/who-cheats-more-the-demographics-of-cheating-in-america
That data admits to being skewed by the larger gap over age 60. The gap is MUCH smaller in younger years.
The data is also 10-16 years old.
So provide more recent data that shows it’s equal
Anonymous
06/16/2026 17:12
Subject: Predicting spousal support
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Husbands and wives cheat, anyone who cheats sucks. Men typically are more likely to cheat. Most people claim their ex (or future ex) is a narcissist, avoid the crutch of the cliche.
Most states have pretty clear rules on how spousal support and child support work, as some people have said to the OP you can look up these calculators.
Talk to at least 3 lawyers. There are lawyers who will be more proactive in trying to find an agreement, others who will be more aggressive to get it done fast, etc. There are a couple of lawyers who are well established for having the "magic calculator" on what terms will be. If you can talk to one of them you'll get a great estimate for $300.
#1 rule is to be absolutely and totally honest with your lawyer. Whatever you hide will bite you in the ass, as it should. Put in YOUR work in the divorce process to give all the needed information, financial asset documents, etc.
Almost all good lawyers know all the tricks, which makes the process go faster.
It's very hard to prove a spouse is cheating. You basically need a p0rn video, texts or emails explicitly confirming the sex, etc.
If you have kids try and have the divorce result in you and your ex being in a place where you can co-parent the best possible.
This isn't actually true. It's just a stereotype.
It is actually true: 20% marital infidelity rate for men vs 13% for women eg men are 53% more likely to cheat on spouses
https://ifstudies.org/blog/who-cheats-more-the-demographics-of-cheating-in-america
That data admits to being skewed by the larger gap over age 60. The gap is MUCH smaller in younger years.
The data is also 10-16 years old.
Anonymous
06/16/2026 17:03
Subject: Predicting spousal support
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Husbands and wives cheat, anyone who cheats sucks. Men typically are more likely to cheat. Most people claim their ex (or future ex) is a narcissist, avoid the crutch of the cliche.
Most states have pretty clear rules on how spousal support and child support work, as some people have said to the OP you can look up these calculators.
Talk to at least 3 lawyers. There are lawyers who will be more proactive in trying to find an agreement, others who will be more aggressive to get it done fast, etc. There are a couple of lawyers who are well established for having the "magic calculator" on what terms will be. If you can talk to one of them you'll get a great estimate for $300.
#1 rule is to be absolutely and totally honest with your lawyer. Whatever you hide will bite you in the ass, as it should. Put in YOUR work in the divorce process to give all the needed information, financial asset documents, etc.
Almost all good lawyers know all the tricks, which makes the process go faster.
It's very hard to prove a spouse is cheating. You basically need a p0rn video, texts or emails explicitly confirming the sex, etc.
If you have kids try and have the divorce result in you and your ex being in a place where you can co-parent the best possible.
This isn't actually true. It's just a stereotype.
It is actually true: 20% marital infidelity rate for men vs 13% for women eg men are 53% more likely to cheat on spouses
https://ifstudies.org/blog/who-cheats-more-the-demographics-of-cheating-in-america
Does that data include emotional affairs?
Anonymous
06/16/2026 17:01
Subject: Predicting spousal support
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Husbands and wives cheat, anyone who cheats sucks. Men typically are more likely to cheat. Most people claim their ex (or future ex) is a narcissist, avoid the crutch of the cliche.
Most states have pretty clear rules on how spousal support and child support work, as some people have said to the OP you can look up these calculators.
Talk to at least 3 lawyers. There are lawyers who will be more proactive in trying to find an agreement, others who will be more aggressive to get it done fast, etc. There are a couple of lawyers who are well established for having the "magic calculator" on what terms will be. If you can talk to one of them you'll get a great estimate for $300.
#1 rule is to be absolutely and totally honest with your lawyer. Whatever you hide will bite you in the ass, as it should. Put in YOUR work in the divorce process to give all the needed information, financial asset documents, etc.
Almost all good lawyers know all the tricks, which makes the process go faster.
It's very hard to prove a spouse is cheating. You basically need a p0rn video, texts or emails explicitly confirming the sex, etc.
If you have kids try and have the divorce result in you and your ex being in a place where you can co-parent the best possible.
This isn't actually true. It's just a stereotype.
It is actually true: 20% marital infidelity rate for men vs 13% for women eg men are 53% more likely to cheat on spouses
https://ifstudies.org/blog/who-cheats-more-the-demographics-of-cheating-in-america
Anonymous
06/16/2026 15:09
Subject: Predicting spousal support
Anonymous wrote:Husbands and wives cheat, anyone who cheats sucks. Men typically are more likely to cheat. Most people claim their ex (or future ex) is a narcissist, avoid the crutch of the cliche.
Most states have pretty clear rules on how spousal support and child support work, as some people have said to the OP you can look up these calculators.
Talk to at least 3 lawyers. There are lawyers who will be more proactive in trying to find an agreement, others who will be more aggressive to get it done fast, etc. There are a couple of lawyers who are well established for having the "magic calculator" on what terms will be. If you can talk to one of them you'll get a great estimate for $300.
#1 rule is to be absolutely and totally honest with your lawyer. Whatever you hide will bite you in the ass, as it should. Put in YOUR work in the divorce process to give all the needed information, financial asset documents, etc.
Almost all good lawyers know all the tricks, which makes the process go faster.
It's very hard to prove a spouse is cheating. You basically need a p0rn video, texts or emails explicitly confirming the sex, etc.
If you have kids try and have the divorce result in you and your ex being in a place where you can co-parent the best possible.
This isn't actually true. It's just a stereotype.
Anonymous
06/16/2026 15:05
Subject: Re:Predicting spousal support
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:"He should’ve thought about that before letting his d!ck wander."
Huh? News flash: Some women cheat, become alcoholics, or are abusive... just like some men.
Most state laws allow to overturn presumption of 50/50 and avoid alimony in certain cases. He would need to prove she was cheating, alcoholic, not a good mother or spouse. That’s on him
Courts don't care if she cheats, she refuses to let him see the kids, etc. Be real. They don't care if she's not spending the child support on the kids as there is no accuontability.
Some courts 100% care if she's cheating. In Virginia, it's grounds to get zero alimony. Adultery isn't easy to prove, though. But it can be done. I did it. Left her with nothing.