PS, she did the same thing to me ("ugly") so don't take it to heart!

Anonymous wrote:A panhandler walking down K St -- in new, better clothes than I was wearing -- called me "ugly" when I didn't have any change to give her.

I ran into the same woman on K ST! Older black lady?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was at a park with my mixed race DC and was making small talk with a nanny who was swinging her charge in the swing next to DC when she asked me if I was a live in. I was more shocked than offended, but this type of thing happens so, so often. I'm constantly being mistaken for the nanny.

Don't understand how this is offensive. (or shocking) I can't see how being mistaken for my child's nanny (esp. in a wealthy neighborhood where nannies are common) is offensive. It could be a compliment if it means you look young. Then again, I also don't understand why being mistaken for my child's grandmother is offensive either. After all, if I'd had a child at 20 and she'd had a child at 20, it could be my grandchild!

It's offensive because people assume I'm Hispanic (I am not) and that my child, who actually looks like me except for coloring, is not my child and that I am "the help". When I said shocked, I meant more that I was taken by surprised, rendered speechless, etc. because I wasn't expecting it.

It seems it is only offensive to you because the thought of being a nanny is offensive to you, as you view a nanny as being inferior to you. Being a nanny is actually not a terrible thing. And calling a nanny "the help" is pretty offensive on its own.

Anonymous wrote:Ex-wife finally landed her dream job, but got pregnant six months into it. She had some issues in her childhood that made her terrified of daycares. I volunteered to stay home the first two years, so that she wouldn't have to quit. She had an affair two years later. She told me that one day she came home late and dinner was cooked, our child was asleep, and the laundry was done. She said that at that moment she lost respect for me as a man. "The right answer was for you to tell me to quit, not become the woman in the relationship."

Oh God. I will take you right now. RIGHT NOW.

A panhandler walking down K St -- in new, better clothes than I was wearing -- called me "ugly" when I didn't have any change to give her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was at a park with my mixed race DC and was making small talk with a nanny who was swinging her charge in the swing next to DC when she asked me if I was a live in. I was more shocked than offended, but this type of thing happens so, so often. I'm constantly being mistaken for the nanny.

Don't understand how this is offensive. (or shocking) I can't see how being mistaken for my child's nanny (esp. in a wealthy neighborhood where nannies are common) is offensive. It could be a compliment if it means you look young. Then again, I also don't understand why being mistaken for my child's grandmother is offensive either. After all, if I'd had a child at 20 and she'd had a child at 20, it could be my grandchild!

It's offensive because people assume I'm Hispanic (I am not) and that my child, who actually looks like me except for coloring, is not my child and that I am "the help". When I said shocked, I meant more that I was taken by surprised, rendered speechless, etc. because I wasn't expecting it.

Anonymous wrote:I was at a park with my mixed race DC and was making small talk with a nanny who was swinging her charge in the swing next to DC when she asked me if I was a live in. I was more shocked than offended, but this type of thing happens so, so often. I'm constantly being mistaken for the nanny.

Don't understand how this is offensive. (or shocking) I can't see how being mistaken for my child's nanny (esp. in a wealthy neighborhood where nannies are common) is offensive. It could be a compliment if it means you look young. Then again, I also don't understand why being mistaken for my child's grandmother is offensive either. After all, if I'd had a child at 20 and she'd had a child at 20, it could be my grandchild!

A conversation about me that I overhead "You like her? What could you possibly like about her? There is nothing likeable" The person who said this was quite jealous of something in my life and a few months later tried to befriend me.

A prof at college told me "I don't know how you passed that exam, I was surprised you were even smart enough to be able to pick up a pencil and write the exam."

By an atheist colleague at grad school, "You are a Christian? You know that is pretty much the same as being a Nazi"

I am not one to hold grudges and none of these interfered with my life but I do remember them as being pretty insulting things said to me.

I was at a park with my mixed race DC and was making small talk with a nanny who was swinging her charge in the swing next to DC when she asked me if I was a live in. I was more shocked than offended, but this type of thing happens so, so often. I'm constantly being mistaken for the nanny.

Anonymous wrote:Ex-wife finally landed her dream job, but got pregnant six months into it. She had some issues in her childhood that made her terrified of daycares. I volunteered to stay home the first two years, so that she wouldn't have to quit. She had an affair two years later. She told me that one day she came home late and dinner was cooked, our child was asleep, and the laundry was done. She said that at that moment she lost respect for me as a man. "The right answer was for you to tell me to quit, not become the woman in the relationship."

Ouch! She is a witch with a capital B! Also, she has some pretty old fashioned ideas of gender roles.

Ex-wife finally landed her dream job, but got pregnant six months into it. She had some issues in her childhood that made her terrified of daycares. I volunteered to stay home the first two years, so that she wouldn't have to quit. She had an affair two years later. She told me that one day she came home late and dinner was cooked, our child was asleep, and the laundry was done. She said that at that moment she lost respect for me as a man. "The right answer was for you to tell me to quit, not become the woman in the relationship."

Anonymous wrote:Had a grad school professor tell me I had a "good though not great" intellect. I was more startled than insulted and was able to laugh about it soon after. I have no false assumptions about my brain and never have: I'm generally smart, well-read, and interested in the world but rocketsciencejobs.com isn't coming after me any time soon. I'm okay with that (which may or may not be a limitation of my good though not great intellect.) =D

I made it through a doctoral program, and tend to see myself as having a "good though not great" intellect. I would have appreciated it if my profs had said this to me. They expressed more flattering views, but I don't think the more flattering comments are true, and I appreciate fact over fiction.

It's great that you have "no false assumptions." I understand that you would have appreciated false commentary, but maybe honesty and realistic appraisals are more helpful and more truly considerate in the long run.

I had given birth about 4 months previously, but had diastastis recti and my stomach was still big, although the rest of me thin (so I do admit, I did look pregnant). The man at the local neighborhood store looked and me and said, "OMG, you're pregnant again already?!" Talk about feeling like crap about yourself...

Anonymous wrote:"I didn't like you the first time I met you."

I can't believe someone would outright day this- in what context?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Had a grad school professor tell me I had a "good though not great" intellect. I was more startled than insulted and was able to laugh about it soon after. I have no false assumptions about my brain and never have: I'm generally smart, well-read, and interested in the world but rocketsciencejobs.com isn't coming after me any time soon. I'm okay with that (which may or may not be a limitation of my good though not great intellect.) =D

This is a good though not great post.

Bahaa! I'm the OP of the "good though not great." Thanks for the giggle. =D