My husband's sister was 6 when my DH was born. She was so excited to have a baby brother but it's kind of funny because as a family, they have this huge collection of her art; she used to do all of these paintings as a young kid. she describes the birth of my DH (with whom she is very close) as: "that's when the art stopped."

Apparently, in complete seriousness, she stopped making art when my DH was born! So yeah, I guess a sibling's birth can be traumatic, even when you want it!

My son is really, really doted upon. Having a sibling will be a huge change for him. That's part of why we wanted to have him involved earlier. We have started explaining how our family will change. He was a pretty demanding baby and toddler and things really just started getting "easy" for us. We didn't feel ready to do this before now given how much he seemed to need us. Some families are so different; funny how the timing works out differently for everyone (including those families who don't really choose the timing! ). Anyway, I'm really glad that he is excited. Most of his little friends have or are getting new siblings so he is very excited.

That said, I never in my life thought I would be having the where do babies come from conversation at 3!!!! He asks some very specific questions!!! Man, we just answered them honestly, but now I just hope he doesn't tell all the other kids at soccer about how babies "get out" through the vagina, a fact which has completely and absolutely fascinated him and which he brings up 1-2 times a day. Yoy!

adorable story about your son! I'm glad he's so excited. Better than the alternative! (when my folks brought me home from the hospital, my sister said, "my life is over!". She was 3).

Hi all, and happy Wednesday, indeed!

Speaking of anxiety, hey-o, it's Pumpkin, reporting in post-appointment! First, I'd say I'm completely with Poppy when I say it's easy to fill the space between the end of the obvious symptoms and when you feel movement / look pregnant, with anxiety. It's an odd time. And, I hope this is not one bundle of neuroses enabling another but I think at some point, I did best during my last pregnancy when I gave myself permission for both of these things:

1. enjoy the pregnancy without constantly qualifying it
2. on the other hand, let myself just feel / accept being worried at times

I also really do think the reassurance that the visits provide is only natural. I fully admit that I still feel this way the second time around! See note above about enabling, though. Anyway, for me, I don't think it's a matter of not enjoying the pregnancy. There is room for joy and fear. For me, letting myself recognize the risks lets me enjoy the pregnancy despite them.

Speaking of anxiety - today's appointment! Got an unexpected visit with baby via ultrasound because my midwife couldn't find the heartbeat! So, while that was scary as H we did get to peek at baby and enjoyed a pretty wild show of movement and antics from the little creature. And, we told DS about it, so he got the see the baby, which was really, really neat.

He had been asking about when we are going to have a baby and the other day, he asked me if there might be a baby in my tummy soon. DH and I try to talk in code, but my little guy is at a very perceptive age and picks up on everything. He's also very interested in how it all happens so we talked a little bit about that. He's SO interested that we just felt like the time was right, even though initially I hadn't planned to tell him until later on, like 20 weeks.

Now that DS knows, (and so does our mailman, next door neighbor, and three random kids at the playground we hit after the appointment) I guess we're basically out of the closet now, too.

The best part of the day was how excited my little one was. I'm 13 weeks tomorrow and my little pregnancy workout journal calendar says "welcome to your first trimester!" I'll take it!

Hope everyone is doing well. Looking forward to some new updates. And JinDC, so glad you got to hear gummibear.

We are not going to find out the sex ahead of time. We didn't find out with my son, either but I "just knew" he was a boy for sure (I mean, not that I knew completely, but I had an insane unwavering feeling). This time the hunch is not very strong, but I have felt slightly "girl" ish lately.

Anyone else have a hunch?

Talk soon

Happy Wednesday, everyone!
Poppy - I'm totally there. I hear ya 110%.

Last night I played with the Doppler and we found Gummibear. So that was nice. I did move the appointment, and I don't feel bad about it (other than I love Dr Metz, and I won't get to see her...but it's a group practice so I need to get used to all three all up in my business!).

How is everyone else doing? Is everyone starting to feel a little better? Anything exciting to report? Are people finding out the sex? If so, some of you should be coming up!

Poppy with another quick thought about worrying, etc.: during my first pregnancy, I went through a period from the end of the first tri until I really felt the baby moving--which wasn't until 20 weeks or so (anterior placenta)--where I didn't think much about pregnancy at all. I sort of forgot about it. Friends of mine have said that felt similarly; yes, intellectually you know you're pregnant, but it's not part of your daily life as it is later on, and in the beginning when you feel awful. If you are anxious, for whatever reason, I think it can be easy to fill that space with worry. Yes, you're pregnant, but it's not quite real, or wasn't for me, until I could feel movement. Once I could, it was great to have those daily reminders, and I really embraced being pregnant.

Just wanted to chime in in case that's helpful... I feel like it's a weird time in pregnancy before you're really showing/baby's moving. The third tri was far and away my favorite last time, since I finally looked obviously pregnant, baby was moving a lot, etc. I hope you can find that place of calm soon--even with all its difficulties, there's something so cool about being pregnant.

Oh, I know....i definitely know that no one is trying to make me feel bad. There are way too many other threads on here for that

My girlfriend said she was a wreck until "viability". I don't think I'll be that bad and I'm still doing my best to eat right and yoga really does help me relax. And as long as I FEEL fine (no blood, no nothing), I know I'M PREGNANT! But I would feel horrid if I told my favorite relatives (other than my parents/sister) and then there be a problem. So, it's a precaution. I know I'll be ok, but it's still....you know. Hard to explain. But I know no one is making me feel bad! I'll have had 3 weeks between my last appointment, then 4 weeks until my one after that. So I'm not DRASTICALLY rescheduling

jindc wrote:Yes, I know I'm out of the "danger zone", but I still feel really vulnerable - given what it took to get here, I feel like it could all go away in an instant. I know it's weird...I've made it this far, I'm fine...right? But still.
If I'm going to tell my family in person, I'd rather know. I had an appointment just before telling some family. I feel like it's good juju to just make sure everything is still ok. They moved my appointment up a week - so, the monday before I go visit family. Of course, something could happen THAT week, but....I know, I know...I'm neurotic!

And I couldn't tell if I got a FHR on the doppler. I'll keep trying, but I'm not going to do it every day. I thought I found it, but it was in the low-140s, which seems lower than it had previously been during ultrasounds. Turns out I should have counted myself but I didn't know that until I read reviews.

It definitely doesn't make any sense why I'm so stressed. I mean, in MY head it does (how many needles did you give yourself to get here?), especially since I can't believe I'm so lucky after only 1 round of IVF. But still. Plus, moving this appointment puts me back on schedule to every 4 weeks because I pre-scheduled my June appointments And in between I should have gender/sex scan.

Oy vey, I'm a mess. Thank you all for putting up with me!

I wasn't trying to make you feel bad for being cautious, but I do think that there comes a point where it's okay to let yourself breathe and ENJOY being pregnant. My advice is to be on top of your health, of course, but also put some of the qualifiers out of your mind and let yourself really absorb, "Hey, I'm pregnant and going to have a baby!" especially now that you've crossed out of the first trimester. Your odds are really good now! Not every "I'm going to have an ultrasound" has to be followed up with "God willing, everything is okay." It's a fine line between having normal concerns and not letting yourself enjoy the fact that you're pregnant, and I'd hate to see any woman look back and realized she never let herself enjoy being pregnant because she constantly worried that some imminent danger was right around every corner. Just my two cents as a BTDT mom- these babies are tougher than we think, and most of our worries are just our neuroses freaking us out! I don't mean this to hurt your feelings at all- more like, I want to build you up and give you some confidence so you can really start relishing your pregnancy!

aaaaand 14:14 was Poppy. D'oh!

jindc, I'm with Pumpkin on moving the appointment. As you said, given all you've gone through to get to this point, wanting that extra reassurance makes *total* sense, as does your stress. You've experienced how fraught getting pregnant can be, and being pregnant is no walk in the park, either. I'm not particularly neurotic, but pregnancy/parenthood has brought out any such tendencies I do have. Do what makes you feel best, seriously. And yay for your mid-day treat--that sounds wonderful! It does sound like your coworkers, awful as they are, really do rely on you, so you have that in your pocket as far as PT goes. I'm thankful daily for my awesome Swedish boss...

Thanks to you and Pumpkin for the workplace empathy. Working from home is usually quite palate-cleansing--love the analogy--though said toxic co-worker has been known to hound me via phone/email. I usually ignore her and claim busyness. Her myriad crises are almost always imagined, and getting sucked into them is useless.

We'll be in town Memorial Day weekend and that would work well! The only caveat is I have a conference here that weekend (ugh), and I do need to be there Saturday morning for my poster presentation. I think that wraps up at 11 and is in the city, so realistically I could do brunch after, but the other days are good, too. We're going on vacation (YAY) the following weekend, but not leaving until Sunday. Please don't hold off on scheduling on my account, though I'd be sad to miss the first gathering! I know how tough it is to schedule for groups.

Yes, I know I'm out of the "danger zone", but I still feel really vulnerable - given what it took to get here, I feel like it could all go away in an instant. I know it's weird...I've made it this far, I'm fine...right? But still.
If I'm going to tell my family in person, I'd rather know. I had an appointment just before telling some family. I feel like it's good juju to just make sure everything is still ok. They moved my appointment up a week - so, the monday before I go visit family. Of course, something could happen THAT week, but....I know, I know...I'm neurotic!

And I couldn't tell if I got a FHR on the doppler. I'll keep trying, but I'm not going to do it every day. I thought I found it, but it was in the low-140s, which seems lower than it had previously been during ultrasounds. Turns out I should have counted myself but I didn't know that until I read reviews.

It definitely doesn't make any sense why I'm so stressed. I mean, in MY head it does (how many needles did you give yourself to get here?), especially since I can't believe I'm so lucky after only 1 round of IVF. But still. Plus, moving this appointment puts me back on schedule to every 4 weeks because I pre-scheduled my June appointments And in between I should have gender/sex scan.

Oy vey, I'm a mess. Thank you all for putting up with me!

jindc wrote:Hi Poppy! sorry to hear about your bad work environment - I can relate. I'm hoping to go back PT, but I doubt it'll be allowed.

Question for the group: I'm traveling to visit family in a few weeks, but right before my next appointment. I haven't told this family, and I'm worried about not having confirmation that everything is OK prior to going out there and telling them about the pregnancy.
Do you think I should try to move the appointment up to right before I go? I'd hate to tell them, then (god forbid) have something happen....

what do you think? Too neurotic? Or do you think I could request to come in just for a HB check with a nurse prior to telling family and the Dr's office would be OK with that? I feel so "needy" (and trust me, I HATE being needy!).

As for a brunch....do you guys want to try the last weekend of May? Before it's hot out? What do you think? We'll all be in the 2nd tri then. Pumpkin - does that work for you? That's Memorial Day weekend so maybe most will be out of town?

Your doctor might move the appointment or might not, but you are 13.5 weeks now, right? I really think you're at the threshold where most likely, everything is okay and it's fine to share. In a few weeks, even if you don't see the doctor before you go, you'll be at what, 16, 17 weeks? At that point it's so unlikely you'll have a miscarriage or anything like that. I think you could feel safe in sharing even if your doctor won't move the appointment. You're out of the "danger zone."

Ok, so if Pumpkin says it's ok, I'm going to try it!

I just had a lovely lunch with a former coworker - a mom of two (but she's in the military....) and she gave me some great ideas about talking to my boss about part time work. We went to the restaurant in the Ritz at Pentagon City - now THAT was a lovely mid-day treat. It was so relaxing. I didn't want to come back to work!!!! Definitely a good spot, if you haven't been.

Pumpkin here - i'm as neurotic as they come. If it were me, I would 100 percent move the doctor's appointment but would probably blame it on something vague like a travel conflict with my prior appointment (technically true, if you think about it!) or something rather than reveal my neurotic side. So much for honesty as the best policy... Anyway, yes, if I could control it, I'd rather have a doctor's appointment right before than right after. Then again, you have a doppler! Anyway, in terms of timing of Rx visits, with my first, I was traveling constantly through midway through my third trimester so my visits were like 3 weeks, then 5 weeks, then 4 weeks - not at all four weeks on the nose. My OB was completely fine with the slight variation in appointment timing - though by the time I got to the home stretch -- when it starts to really matter -- obviously I was not traveling so it wasn't an issue anymore.

Poppy, I work from home most days (have a lot of meetings out) and appreciate the distance from my own toxic colleagues! I hope working at home cleanses the palate for you and gives you a bit of a break from the toxic environment! Unfortunately I'm all too familiar with that, too....

I'm around that last weekend if we're talking about May 25-26? - but I bet you are right that it is a busy travel weekend. What about the first weekend in June as a backup? It would be so nice if we could get everyone to come.

Hi Poppy! sorry to hear about your bad work environment - I can relate. I'm hoping to go back PT, but I doubt it'll be allowed.

Question for the group: I'm traveling to visit family in a few weeks, but right before my next appointment. I haven't told this family, and I'm worried about not having confirmation that everything is OK prior to going out there and telling them about the pregnancy.
Do you think I should try to move the appointment up to right before I go? I'd hate to tell them, then (god forbid) have something happen....

what do you think? Too neurotic? Or do you think I could request to come in just for a HB check with a nurse prior to telling family and the Dr's office would be OK with that? I feel so "needy" (and trust me, I HATE being needy!).

As for a brunch....do you guys want to try the last weekend of May? Before it's hot out? What do you think? We'll all be in the 2nd tri then. Pumpkin - does that work for you? That's Memorial Day weekend so maybe most will be out of town?

Hi, all! Poppy here. I've not had much going on baby-wise, so have mostly been lurking. ;^) I'm excited to see everyone's updates, and can empathize with the frustration of waiting between appointments. We have another in two weeks, and I can't wait!

I'm starting to tell a few more people here and there, but definitely not fully out of the pregnancy closet at 14 weeks and change. Thankfully I'm not showing yet and still in my regular clothes. I know a few coworkers have their suspicions, but they can wait. I'm going to GWMFM today to provide the blood sample for M21, then will tell more broadly when we get those results (assuming they're consistent with the NT scan).

Mostly I'm just glad to have my energy back. Work's been a nightmare--super busy, and a very toxic coworker is wreaking havoc right and left. I'm sort of thankful it's happening now; if it was a few weeks ago, I could not have kept up. I did tell my boss a few weeks ago, and he was supportive after scraping his jaw off the floor. (With my daughter he was all, "Mazel Tov!!" and this time it was more like, "say whaaaat?") He'll let me stay there PT, and then I can branch off into PT private practice, which I'm excited about.

I'm very up for a second tri get together! Pumpkin, I can't imagine not having our founding member present when we do all meet up, so I'm happy to wait until mid-May! Brunch sounds divine, I do love me a good brunch. I'm going to start yoga again this week. I'd love to join for barre, but have limited time on the weekends so will probably have to opt out.

Okay, time to work! It's a happy WAH day, which means I'll be in my bathrobe for at least a few more hours. :^)