Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:it’s a lie the class obsessed tell themselves to soothe their feelings of inadequacy.

Well, it's how UMC can become wealthy. For those who truly make a ton of money or inherited it, they don't need to do this.

We make $400k in the DC suburbs. We have a smaller SFH in a good neighborhood with excellent public schools. We drive our cars for 10+ years and buy a standard Toyota/Honda. If we had upgraded the house, cars, and/or paid for private schools, we would not be saving nearly as much and would just be working each month to pay for our expenses. Being frugal has been a game changer - you can't make it up on Starbucks and homemade lunches. It's because our monthly expenses are $5000+ lower than they could be, and we are investing all of that and have been for years.

100 percent this. We have a $2000/month mortgage and no car payment and are able to fuel that extra money into the market and just see it grow, which gives us room to fund things that we actually want and to feel a deep sense of security.

Years of reading "FIRE" blogs like Mr. Money Mustache also really sunk in after a while, though we are not FIRE people necessarily. But the main points he makes -- using money to buy freedom rather than things, and only spend your money and objects that actually increase your happiness or make your life easier. And, live somewhere where you are not car dependent.

What year did you buy your home in?

Here we go again. “I have to be broke! I had no choice but to take out an $8k/month mortgage! It’s all someone else’s fault, of course never mine.”

NP-It's a valid question. I personally bought my home when I could pay a low cost for it, so I have a low mortgage. The same home (boring 90s home in a burb with good public schools) and similar homes are now going for over twice what we paid. Timing plays a huge part and it's not about "having to be broke" but just the sorts of reasonable, frugal choices you can make. Your choices and mine were really easy.

Speak for yourself. My choices were not easy at all. Getting my boring SFH in the exurbs still required a lot of frugality and some other stops on the property ladder. And it STILL isn’t renovated all these years later, just new paint and lights and live with the rest. Most of these whiners wouldn’t even buy the house I live in. Boohoo for them!

Agree. I grew up with financial insecurity, so becoming financially independent was huge for me. I may work until I'm in my 50s, 60s, or 70s, but I have no stress if that isn't the case. Buying cheaper cars/houses etc made that possible. If I valued these material things, perhaps I would be committed to working later, no questions, and buying these larger ticket items. Seems stressful to me but again, my perspective is shaped by my childhood.

You are both missing the point. These choices are no longer possible: My 1k car that run great, 400k home with good schools in a safe area...Those choices are gone. Sure, young people can try and make frugal choices, but a frugal used car is now 18k, a home is 850k on my street if you get lucky and not outbid by cash offers. And yes, I get it, you have peers your age who overextended on mortgages and bought 60k cars and you made better decisions than them. That is not what I was talking about: I'm talking about people like you with your good frugal sense, just 30+ years later.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:it’s a lie the class obsessed tell themselves to soothe their feelings of inadequacy.

Well, it's how UMC can become wealthy. For those who truly make a ton of money or inherited it, they don't need to do this.

We make $400k in the DC suburbs. We have a smaller SFH in a good neighborhood with excellent public schools. We drive our cars for 10+ years and buy a standard Toyota/Honda. If we had upgraded the house, cars, and/or paid for private schools, we would not be saving nearly as much and would just be working each month to pay for our expenses. Being frugal has been a game changer - you can't make it up on Starbucks and homemade lunches. It's because our monthly expenses are $5000+ lower than they could be, and we are investing all of that and have been for years.

100 percent this. We have a $2000/month mortgage and no car payment and are able to fuel that extra money into the market and just see it grow, which gives us room to fund things that we actually want and to feel a deep sense of security.

Years of reading "FIRE" blogs like Mr. Money Mustache also really sunk in after a while, though we are not FIRE people necessarily. But the main points he makes -- using money to buy freedom rather than things, and only spend your money and objects that actually increase your happiness or make your life easier. And, live somewhere where you are not car dependent.

What year did you buy your home in?

Here we go again. “I have to be broke! I had no choice but to take out an $8k/month mortgage! It’s all someone else’s fault, of course never mine.”

NP-It's a valid question. I personally bought my home when I could pay a low cost for it, so I have a low mortgage. The same home (boring 90s home in a burb with good public schools) and similar homes are now going for over twice what we paid. Timing plays a huge part and it's not about "having to be broke" but just the sorts of reasonable, frugal choices you can make. Your choices and mine were really easy.

Speak for yourself. My choices were not easy at all. Getting my boring SFH in the exurbs still required a lot of frugality and some other stops on the property ladder. And it STILL isn’t renovated all these years later, just new paint and lights and live with the rest. Most of these whiners wouldn’t even buy the house I live in. Boohoo for them!

Agree. I grew up with financial insecurity, so becoming financially independent was huge for me. I may work until I'm in my 50s, 60s, or 70s, but I have no stress if that isn't the case. Buying cheaper cars/houses etc made that possible. If I valued these material things, perhaps I would be committed to working later, no questions, and buying these larger ticket items. Seems stressful to me but again, my perspective is shaped by my childhood.

Anonymous wrote:I guess I don't exist then. I am sure I am not the only person to drive a 20 year old entry-point Japanese sedan while my stock portfolio has ballooned to 20M. I think it depends on what sort of wealth you're talking about: if it comes from salary, and people are surrounded by others with the same salary, that's going to lead to visible signs of wealth. But if they made their money in a more discreet way and do not socialize with others who have that level of wealth (or who like them chose not to display it)... then it leads to driving a dinged up Corolla.

My wife has millions from family money, and has a decent paying but normal job, and drives something similar.

Of course rich people drive nice cars. Why not? The money doesn't mean so much to them. There are some caveats. Older people tend to lose interest in cars and can't be bothered to upgrade so often. I see this pattern frequently across any social group.

I live in a solidly UMC area where the upper part of the UMC do tend to have mostly expensive European cars or Rivians or big trucks. That demographic isn't driving aged Subarus. The "lower" part of our UMC area is a mix, a lot of midrange Japanese blended with European imports and Chevy Suburbans and Rivians and Teslas. But old people in either group tend to have the least interest in "nicer" cars and drive 10 year old cars either way. We do have elderly boomers, retired partners or doctors, in large houses with summer houses on Cape Cod who putter around in a 12 year old Honda Accord or Forester.

But what I have also seen is a declining interest among regular UMC people in my age group (mid 40s) for expensive cars over a midrange Japanese, or replacing cars so often. The intrinsic and social value of having a BMW or Audi or Lexus isn't what it was 25 years ago. Our peers are people with HHIs in the 400s-600s and it seems like most people are happy with an Outback or Highlander. Some do have Audis etc but across the board no one really cares what car you drive. People would rather spend the money on travel or education or home renovations.

Not sure. Spend a summer weekend in the Hamptons if you're in doubt.

6.3 million net worth and 750k HHi early 40s. We buy cars in the 55-75k range. Trade in current cars every 4-5 years or so and add 10k down each time. Finance the rest so we have a small payment. Literally don’t notice this in our budget.

Why not drive a mid higher end / fun to drive car when it barely makes a dent?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I drive a 2007 Honda- multi million net worth. Sorry to deflate OP’s balloon.

Hey, right there with you! 20 year old Honda with $4+ million net worth. Having low maintenance costs, no car loans, low insurance ($700/year) is a beautiful thing. So is not worrying about another dent. That said, it’s getting to the point where the buttons are starting to fall off and the dashboard is cracking. I’ll probably buy a new Toyota with cash sometime soon and drive it for another 20 years.

PP, and I should add. I’m not trying to impress anyone. And anyone who judges me for my car has outed themselves as insecure and someone I wouldn’t want to associate with anyway.

Anonymous wrote:I drive a 2007 Honda- multi million net worth. Sorry to deflate OP’s balloon.

Hey, right there with you! 20 year old Honda with $4+ million net worth. Having low maintenance costs, no car loans, low insurance ($700/year) is a beautiful thing. So is not worrying about another dent. That said, it’s getting to the point where the buttons are starting to fall off and the dashboard is cracking. I’ll probably buy a new Toyota with cash sometime soon and drive it for another 20 years.

I drive a 2007 Honda- multi million net worth. Sorry to deflate OP’s balloon.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are zero non new cars in the car lineup at my kids' primary and high schools. Rich teenagers don't even drive used cars anymore.

Big hat, no cattle. Our neighbor drives a RR, the bigger longer one, and was SHOCKED and dismayed at the cost of UVA instate when we told him. He put his kids in parochial K-8 and is also stressing at the cost of private HS because it’s not $9k a year like the current school. Like, dude.

A shocking number of otherwise smart, highly educated people dont have a clue how to handle money.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are zero non new cars in the car lineup at my kids' primary and high schools. Rich teenagers don't even drive used cars anymore.

Big hat, no cattle. Our neighbor drives a RR, the bigger longer one, and was SHOCKED and dismayed at the cost of UVA instate when we told him. He put his kids in parochial K-8 and is also stressing at the cost of private HS because it’s not $9k a year like the current school. Like, dude.

So he's a neighbor, not your friend, and you think he's going to disclose his personal finances to some creepy neighbor? He drives a nicer car than you and has his kids are in private...he's actually broke though because he feigned ignorance about UVA in-state tuition. Be sure to circle back when he actually yanks his kids from private. You envious and insecure public school parents are so freakin batshit.

Perhaps. But he should choose another line of chitchat then because he sounds like a total idiot complaining about prices as he tools around. He’s not making himself seem relatable - he just sounds stupid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:it’s a lie the class obsessed tell themselves to soothe their feelings of inadequacy.

Well, it's how UMC can become wealthy. For those who truly make a ton of money or inherited it, they don't need to do this.

We make $400k in the DC suburbs. We have a smaller SFH in a good neighborhood with excellent public schools. We drive our cars for 10+ years and buy a standard Toyota/Honda. If we had upgraded the house, cars, and/or paid for private schools, we would not be saving nearly as much and would just be working each month to pay for our expenses. Being frugal has been a game changer - you can't make it up on Starbucks and homemade lunches. It's because our monthly expenses are $5000+ lower than they could be, and we are investing all of that and have been for years.

100 percent this. We have a $2000/month mortgage and no car payment and are able to fuel that extra money into the market and just see it grow, which gives us room to fund things that we actually want and to feel a deep sense of security.

Years of reading "FIRE" blogs like Mr. Money Mustache also really sunk in after a while, though we are not FIRE people necessarily. But the main points he makes -- using money to buy freedom rather than things, and only spend your money and objects that actually increase your happiness or make your life easier. And, live somewhere where you are not car dependent.

What year did you buy your home in?

Here we go again. “I have to be broke! I had no choice but to take out an $8k/month mortgage! It’s all someone else’s fault, of course never mine.”

NP-It's a valid question. I personally bought my home when I could pay a low cost for it, so I have a low mortgage. The same home (boring 90s home in a burb with good public schools) and similar homes are now going for over twice what we paid. Timing plays a huge part and it's not about "having to be broke" but just the sorts of reasonable, frugal choices you can make. Your choices and mine were really easy.

Speak for yourself. My choices were not easy at all. Getting my boring SFH in the exurbs still required a lot of frugality and some other stops on the property ladder. And it STILL isn’t renovated all these years later, just new paint and lights and live with the rest. Most of these whiners wouldn’t even buy the house I live in. Boohoo for them!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are zero non new cars in the car lineup at my kids' primary and high schools. Rich teenagers don't even drive used cars anymore.

Big hat, no cattle. Our neighbor drives a RR, the bigger longer one, and was SHOCKED and dismayed at the cost of UVA instate when we told him. He put his kids in parochial K-8 and is also stressing at the cost of private HS because it’s not $9k a year like the current school. Like, dude.

So he's a neighbor, not your friend, and you think he's going to disclose his personal finances to some creepy neighbor? He drives a nicer car than you and has his kids are in private...he's actually broke though because he feigned ignorance about UVA in-state tuition. Be sure to circle back when he actually yanks his kids from private. You envious and insecure public school parents are so freakin batshit.

Agree people can be very well off and still be shocked by things like the price of coffee or instate tuition. I have a friend who judging from her job likely makes at least 600k. She sent me a text the other day expressing dismay that she had to pay $20 to get her suit dry cleaned.

Anonymous wrote:My net worth $2m. So obv I am not rich. Or wealthy. I drive an 8 yo Mini convertible. I love driving this car. I bought it new, it was paid for long ago. I am not replacing it unless I have to and it has 32k miles and costs me little of nothing to maintain or insure.

OMG

My net worth $2m. So obv I am not rich. Or wealthy. I drive an 8 yo Mini convertible. I love driving this car. I bought it new, it was paid for long ago. I am not replacing it unless I have to and it has 32k miles and costs me little of nothing to maintain or insure.