Rich kids are different. I told my kids dont order extra as you know they have big mark ups on these things. I got asked how do I know that.

I said I own all the stocks like Starbucks, Chipollte, McDonalds etc. either directly or in my 401k etc.

They said sounds like you make money either way so I am ordering the guac

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:so funny because my daughter and I were just talking about the high charge for guac. Of course she orders it because she knows we can afford it. But it does bring me back to my college is when I couldn't afford to order soda with the meal.

These two words are what these many pages are about.

You/half think exactly as you do: of course, order it bc we can afford to

Half think that just bc you can afford to, there is a financial lesson in setting boundaries/increases savings.

+1

I’m in the second half, but my husband is in the first half. It’s frustrating for both of us - he doesn’t want to look poor/cheap, and I fear running out of money (which is silly).

When you have enough to cover all your needs and most of your wants, it leads to silly disputes over guacamole and queso.

But if you don’t have enough for that, it can lead to unnecessary debt - which is why I’m trying to teach my kids to ask if it’s “worth” spending extra money on something, rather than can we afford it. And the guac/queso/fountain drink decision is a great way to teach it.

I’ll also say, being too strict with “extras” can backfire and lead to someone getting ALL the extras when they have their own money - even if they can’t afford it.

I'm not sure I agree with you and pp. People here aren't flaunting wealth by adding guac. I think some people really are just saying "don't sweat the small stuff." This isn't equivalent to replacing a shed. It's equivalent to the age old argument of buying coffee, which many people have pointed out is a fallacy when other stuff is so expensive.

I add guac because I like it. If my kids wanted to, I don't think I'd make a big proclamation about how it's extra because like others have mentioned my kids know/learn this over time, and now as adults. Besides, life is about splurging sometimes, and so many people on DCUM forget this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:so funny because my daughter and I were just talking about the high charge for guac. Of course she orders it because she knows we can afford it. But it does bring me back to my college is when I couldn't afford to order soda with the meal.

These two words are what these many pages are about.

You/half think exactly as you do: of course, order it bc we can afford to

Half think that just bc you can afford to, there is a financial lesson in setting boundaries/increases savings.

Op here. +1. excellent analysis.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. After 15+ years, I am proud to have contributed to the DCUM annals, alongside bobcat lady, burgundy washcloths, and chicken salad.

You probably shouldn’t be.

All excellent points from the last few posters above. Personally, I am very glad to see those who can afford things don’t just get them without some restrictions or without thought. It all adds up and everything you pay for that isn’t a need reduces your net worth. This could be in the form of a $3 guac add on, clothes, shows, whatever. If that extra savings is meaningless to you or if you see zero value in teaching kids about this concept/mindset, nothing anyone says will change that.

This thread is a good encapsulation of how many of us feel, all the time.

We have >$4 million in total net assets, including retirement accounts, home equity, 529s, etc. But we're actually not saving much this year in liquid/taxable accounts, because our spending has increased (and because we don't really count the retirement contributions and 529 contributions as savings).

A lot of our spending is unnecessary - kids' sport activities, birthday parties, vacations, landscaping, takeout.

Guac at Chipotle is a representative, small symbol of the bigger stuff:

--How do we decide whether to buy World Cup tickets? We will all remember it for a long time if we go, but the tickets feel ridiculously overpriced for a 90-minute game.

--Do we stay at the nicer hotel, when there is a perfectly fine, mid-range hotel that fits us?

--Do we replace the backyard shed that looks bad but is perfectly fine for its purpose? Or wait another three years before doing that?

--Or the kids all play travel $occer, but should we pay an extra $600 each for the summer league where half the practices will get canceled for heat / thunderstorms, and we will miss some practices and games for vacation?

We could do all of the above or none of the above, and I'm not sure it would impact the timing of our retirement or anything else. But what do the kids take away from this mindset?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:so funny because my daughter and I were just talking about the high charge for guac. Of course she orders it because she knows we can afford it. But it does bring me back to my college is when I couldn't afford to order soda with the meal.

These two words are what these many pages are about.

You/half think exactly as you do: of course, order it bc we can afford to

Half think that just bc you can afford to, there is a financial lesson in setting boundaries/increases savings.

+1

I’m in the second half, but my husband is in the first half. It’s frustrating for both of us - he doesn’t want to look poor/cheap, and I fear running out of money (which is silly).

When you have enough to cover all your needs and most of your wants, it leads to silly disputes over guacamole and queso.

But if you don’t have enough for that, it can lead to unnecessary debt - which is why I’m trying to teach my kids to ask if it’s “worth” spending extra money on something, rather than can we afford it. And the guac/queso/fountain drink decision is a great way to teach it.

I’ll also say, being too strict with “extras” can backfire and lead to someone getting ALL the extras when they have their own money - even if they can’t afford it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We make way more than that and I've always side-eyed my husband for getting both, lol. But I also don't say anything, because I'm not trying to control him.

My kids don't like either, so that's a non-issue, but we do try to limit the "extras" just as a matter of not overdoing it, and keeping some things special. So choose 1 extra, or maybe that thing that costs extra is a special treat. One time one of my kids was super hungry and ordered steak and chicken on a salad at chop't. I wasn't involved in the order, but that would have been an example where I would have encouraged her to pick one.

I know we can afford it, but I don't think we (or my kids) should get everything we want all the time.

Same and we are wealthy. Sometimes I think: one day I will die and my kids will live better than I do on my own money. But I can see they have a healthy relationship with money. They would notice the cost of a water at place A is 3x the cost of a water at place B. I spend a fortune on travel so it isn’t like I am thrifty with all things…but on things like extras like this, sure. FWIW, my husband’s burrito at Chipotle is about $26 with guac and double meat. I think that’s ridiculous.

OP here. Thank you both. Glad I'm not totally crazy.

And this kind of mindset helps you retain your wealth.

No. It’s not

Actually, this proved it is a mindset. You don’t have that mindset so you don’t see it. Spending less on anything, increases your net worth. This is true whether it’s a large or small item.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also have an high HHI family and feel the same as OP. It's not just the guac - I refuse to pay the $4+ dollars for a soda fountain drink at Chipotle.

That’s different. If something is way overpriced nobody wants to buy it. But if you’re buying food to eat then you need to buy the whole thing and if that means adding on guac and cheese then that’s what you buy.

Just…no.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We make way more than that and I've always side-eyed my husband for getting both, lol. But I also don't say anything, because I'm not trying to control him.

My kids don't like either, so that's a non-issue, but we do try to limit the "extras" just as a matter of not overdoing it, and keeping some things special. So choose 1 extra, or maybe that thing that costs extra is a special treat. One time one of my kids was super hungry and ordered steak and chicken on a salad at chop't. I wasn't involved in the order, but that would have been an example where I would have encouraged her to pick one.

I know we can afford it, but I don't think we (or my kids) should get everything we want all the time.

Same and we are wealthy. Sometimes I think: one day I will die and my kids will live better than I do on my own money. But I can see they have a healthy relationship with money. They would notice the cost of a water at place A is 3x the cost of a water at place B. I spend a fortune on travel so it isn’t like I am thrifty with all things…but on things like extras like this, sure. FWIW, my husband’s burrito at Chipotle is about $26 with guac and double meat. I think that’s ridiculous.

OP here. Thank you both. Glad I'm not totally crazy.

And this kind of mindset helps you retain your wealth.

No. It’s not

Anonymous wrote:I also have an high HHI family and feel the same as OP. It's not just the guac - I refuse to pay the $4+ dollars for a soda fountain drink at Chipotle.

That’s different. If something is way overpriced nobody wants to buy it. But if you’re buying food to eat then you need to buy the whole thing and if that means adding on guac and cheese then that’s what you buy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can not read all these posts but I'll add this.

We make about 520K/year. Tonight I got Cava for me and DS. He asked for double chicken. I got a regular bowl. It was a ton of chicken and I mentioned that the total was $27. He said "Oh wow. I won't get double chicken again, it's too much even though it's a lot of chicken." And he'll hold to that, he's just like that.

THAT made me feel like I did something right.

Just like I said, kids aren’t idiots. They’ll learn

Because the mom mentioned the price. The family can afford double chicken but it is wise to ensure your kids grow up valuing money esp in relation to what is being purchased and where. Had the mom said nothing about the cost, the kid would have ordered double chicken whenever…

He didn’t learn it in his own. Good job, mom!

But did he eat all the chicken? Did he enjoy it? Why deprive him of food he likes, that he is hungry for, and his growing body probably needs just… to teach him a lesson? Are you going to buy the appropriate amount of chicken at home in the future, or continue to go out to eat but not buy him an appropriate amount of food?

Did she say her kid got the regular bowl before and was still hungry? We all gone out and eaten more than we need - just bc he ate it, doesn’t mean he needed it.

Someone may enjoy sparkling water but drinks tap water when going out. If you can’t fathom why, even if sparkling water is affordable and even after it’s been explained why, then it sounds like a you problem.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can not read all these posts but I'll add this.

We make about 520K/year. Tonight I got Cava for me and DS. He asked for double chicken. I got a regular bowl. It was a ton of chicken and I mentioned that the total was $27. He said "Oh wow. I won't get double chicken again, it's too much even though it's a lot of chicken." And he'll hold to that, he's just like that.

THAT made me feel like I did something right.

Just like I said, kids aren’t idiots. They’ll learn

Because the mom mentioned the price. The family can afford double chicken but it is wise to ensure your kids grow up valuing money esp in relation to what is being purchased and where. Had the mom said nothing about the cost, the kid would have ordered double chicken whenever…

He didn’t learn it in his own. Good job, mom!

But did he eat all the chicken? Did he enjoy it? Why deprive him of food he likes, that he is hungry for, and his growing body probably needs just… to teach him a lesson? Are you going to buy the appropriate amount of chicken at home in the future, or continue to go out to eat but not buy him an appropriate amount of food?

Anonymous wrote:so funny because my daughter and I were just talking about the high charge for guac. Of course she orders it because she knows we can afford it. But it does bring me back to my college is when I couldn't afford to order soda with the meal.

These two words are what these many pages are about.

You/half think exactly as you do: of course, order it bc we can afford to

Half think that just bc you can afford to, there is a financial lesson in setting boundaries/increases savings.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can not read all these posts but I'll add this.

We make about 520K/year. Tonight I got Cava for me and DS. He asked for double chicken. I got a regular bowl. It was a ton of chicken and I mentioned that the total was $27. He said "Oh wow. I won't get double chicken again, it's too much even though it's a lot of chicken." And he'll hold to that, he's just like that.

THAT made me feel like I did something right.

Just like I said, kids aren’t idiots. They’ll learn

Not all of them. My (adult) bonus son just told my husband and I we were unreasonable for not paying 100 dollars for 30 minutes on a banana boat for our daughters. Low and behold he ordered it anyway and said he’d pay (not okay because it’s a principle..). Guess whose hotel bill it showed up on…

This is a man who never had to work growing up or in college and now complains he can’t save anything on his 200k salary. Parents need to set boundaries.