Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:at our school i know 2 stay at home moms who have older kids 6th grade + that get financial aid and make over 200k a year. get a damn job! they wear nice clothes and dive similar cars to the rest of the school.

So you know these women well? Know their family situations? Know for sure they have no physical or mental health disabilities, have no elderly parents or other dependents they spend hours caring for, have no home-based or part time business on the side, don’t buy knockoffs or second-hand clothes or used cars to save money? You must be pretty good friends to know their financial situations so intimately, but you’re so condescending and dismissive. Do you treat all your friends that way?

No, they don’t know any of these things. No one on this thread getting worked up over hearsay and rumors knows any of these details, they just assume things so they can feel superior and look down on others.

How many other people do you specifically know their income, their expenses, their financial and personal situation? Basically none. Out of thousands of private school students, I’m sure there are people who manipulate the system. But it’s not likely that you know their details.

Pp you’re responding to, and I think you missed that my point was basically what you’re saying. There’s no way that person knows the details of these families they are getting riled up about. There could be perfectly legitimate reasons they are getting FA.

And as many have stated, the schools get to decide what counts as “legitimate” anyway, not DCUM randos with a superiority complex.

No, I got it, was agreeing with you (sorry if it didn’t come across that way). Was just trying to put an extra emphasis on the absurdity of it.

Is the NYT guilty of lazily using DCUM to generate high-engagement story ideas?

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/12/03/nyregion/nyc-private-school-tuition.html?unlocked_article_code=1.f04.9sUs.T3F3F1hT0z06&smid=url-share

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:at our school i know 2 stay at home moms who have older kids 6th grade + that get financial aid and make over 200k a year. get a damn job! they wear nice clothes and dive similar cars to the rest of the school.

So you know these women well? Know their family situations? Know for sure they have no physical or mental health disabilities, have no elderly parents or other dependents they spend hours caring for, have no home-based or part time business on the side, don’t buy knockoffs or second-hand clothes or used cars to save money? You must be pretty good friends to know their financial situations so intimately, but you’re so condescending and dismissive. Do you treat all your friends that way?

No, they don’t know any of these things. No one on this thread getting worked up over hearsay and rumors knows any of these details, they just assume things so they can feel superior and look down on others.

How many other people do you specifically know their income, their expenses, their financial and personal situation? Basically none. Out of thousands of private school students, I’m sure there are people who manipulate the system. But it’s not likely that you know their details.

Pp you’re responding to, and I think you missed that my point was basically what you’re saying. There’s no way that person knows the details of these families they are getting riled up about. There could be perfectly legitimate reasons they are getting FA.

And as many have stated, the schools get to decide what counts as “legitimate” anyway, not DCUM randos with a superiority complex.

Anonymous wrote:
I hate the building a diverse socioeconomic class. I think it breeds resentment, see this thread. I think humans are really bad at it. They make mistakes. They are biased in their selections. It’s much harder to get the socioeconomic diversity right than straight academics of the child. I’ve lost this battle in DC and know I’m in the minority. But clearly lots of folks are unhappy with the status quo.

I don’t see any evidence of DMV privates building a diverse socioeconomic class? I think the point of this thread has been that FA goes to professional class families, not low income families. Or is your point that FA should not exist. (Genuine q.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:at our school i know 2 stay at home moms who have older kids 6th grade + that get financial aid and make over 200k a year. get a damn job! they wear nice clothes and dive similar cars to the rest of the school.

So you know these women well? Know their family situations? Know for sure they have no physical or mental health disabilities, have no elderly parents or other dependents they spend hours caring for, have no home-based or part time business on the side, don’t buy knockoffs or second-hand clothes or used cars to save money? You must be pretty good friends to know their financial situations so intimately, but you’re so condescending and dismissive. Do you treat all your friends that way?

No, they don’t know any of these things. No one on this thread getting worked up over hearsay and rumors knows any of these details, they just assume things so they can feel superior and look down on others.

How many other people do you specifically know their income, their expenses, their financial and personal situation? Basically none. Out of thousands of private school students, I’m sure there are people who manipulate the system. But it’s not likely that you know their details.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The question in my mind is who is really here FA? Who is the wealth being redistributed to. I think that if it’s a moral question of whether you believe that a schools student body should be made up if (1) the very best academic students regardless family income, (2) the very best athletes regardless of income, (3) a mix of students from different economic backgrounds. I have a problem with 3. I support 1 and 2.

FA isn’t really being used for those purposes however and plays a different role. It’s bragging rights here in DC about amount of aid, #of families on aid, diversity of student population. So there isn’t really an incentive to insure that FA is being appropriately awarded only for purposed (1) and (2).

Ok, so you think FA should only be distributed only to athletes and the highest achieving academic students? What about other talents (e.g. arts, culinary). Kids have diverse talents and contributions. Completely disagree with your notion that academic and athletic meritocracy should be the only considerations. This is bizarre. There is something we can all learn from varying socioeconomic scenarios and the exposure it brings from each spectrum. I like that FA is need based and some people have an opportunity to make possible the impossible due to FA and in some cases, now have an opportunity to be pushed to be the best artist, athlete, researcher, writer, speaker, doctor, chef, etc. whatever they aspire to be.

But my kid isn’t at a HS for the arts. Maybe you could rethink (1) for an arts HS or some such. My kid is at a HS for academics. That’s why (1) isn’t for their cooking skills.

Sports plays a role beyond the specific kid. Alumnae give $$ when then basketball or football team does well. It builds community when kids show up and cheer and take pride in their institution.

I hate the building a diverse socioeconomic class. I think it breeds resentment, see this thread. I think humans are really bad at it. They make mistakes. They are biased in their selections. It’s much harder to get the socioeconomic diversity right than straight academics of the child. I’ve lost this battle in DC and know I’m in the minority. But clearly lots of folks are unhappy with the status quo.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:at our school i know 2 stay at home moms who have older kids 6th grade + that get financial aid and make over 200k a year. get a damn job! they wear nice clothes and dive similar cars to the rest of the school.

So you know these women well? Know their family situations? Know for sure they have no physical or mental health disabilities, have no elderly parents or other dependents they spend hours caring for, have no home-based or part time business on the side, don’t buy knockoffs or second-hand clothes or used cars to save money? You must be pretty good friends to know their financial situations so intimately, but you’re so condescending and dismissive. Do you treat all your friends that way?

NP, but everyone has a mental health disorder or disability in 2024. Plenty of them work. Get over yourself.

Anonymous wrote:at our school i know 2 stay at home moms who have older kids 6th grade + that get financial aid and make over 200k a year. get a damn job! they wear nice clothes and dive similar cars to the rest of the school.

So you know these women well? Know their family situations? Know for sure they have no physical or mental health disabilities, have no elderly parents or other dependents they spend hours caring for, have no home-based or part time business on the side, don’t buy knockoffs or second-hand clothes or used cars to save money? You must be pretty good friends to know their financial situations so intimately, but you’re so condescending and dismissive. Do you treat all your friends that way?

Anonymous wrote:at our school i know 2 stay at home moms who have older kids 6th grade + that get financial aid and make over 200k a year. get a damn job! they wear nice clothes and dive similar cars to the rest of the school.

200k a year is not a huge sum, the issue is more 300k. I sah. My clothes come from Walmart as they have free returns. Health issues keep me from working and shopping. You never know what’s going on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
We are at a Title I DCPS school applying to private middle school. There are wonderful students at our school, from working-class families, who would be so uplifted by a chance at a strong private school. My DC has an outstanding classmate and we've sought to support this child's parent in their applications.

But as I'm going through this, I see that the process itself is such a barrier to low-income families. The essays alone are insane. How is a parent without a college degree supposed to write these? The process feels like an intentional screen for professional-class families. Once the admissions office gets to FA decisions, the families who made it all the way through and who have the greatest "need" are still professional-class families with six-figure HHI.

This is 100% it. The schools, donors, and families want only as much diversity as possible to say they are diverse but not disrupt their bubble. The full pay families consider the lower 6 figure HHI to be poor so that’s the socioeconomic diversity

I think most people would much rather FA go to families who truly deserve it and bring diversity (or some other benefit to the school) than to our neighbors gaming the system. And the grifters know this otherwise they would be upfront about receiving FA. Instead they keep it a secret like the family I just heard about getting FA at multiple schools for their multiple just regular white kids while living in some of the nicest neighborhoods around. No one would ever guess.

Why do you think a family’s finances are your business that they should be “upfront” with you about their FA status? “Oh, hi, I’m Larlo’s mom, nice to meet you. We make $80k a year and get aid, what about you?” Give me a break.

Yes, that way they can be looked down upon and made to feel inferior at regular intervals, and the FA donors can have their egos stroked. Actually, the ideal would be if everyone who got FA had to wear signs with their household income on it while at school events so everyone else could judge their worthiness. /s

That is 100% what the OP's outrage is about. When they say they want FA to go to the "truly needy" they mean "people we can see are poorer than us, because of the kind of house where they live." And if it weren't houses it would be something else -- vacations, cars, shoes. You can easily imagine the threads: "People whose kids wear brand name clothes but getting significant financial aid!" or "FA family turned down my secondhand clothes??"

Bluntly, if it's a priority for your kid to be in classrooms with truly needy students, public school is right there.
What the outraged posters want is to be around a limited number of carefully screened families who are needy enough to be grateful/cowed.

Convenient how your argument supports giving less FA to low-income students. Let’s put that on the website and in the viewbook, shall we? FA only for people with enough money that we don’t feel uncomfortable around them. But look at all our diversity and inclusion!!

For the umpteenth time, nobody on this thread sets the school FA policy. They can fund whoever they want, but they do not fund the people you say you want them to. I think the reasons are understandable, if not admirable.

The school's primary mission is not diversity, just like most families are not there for diversity. If that is your starting framework, then the diversity that most schools do achieve - race, ethnicity, religion, family background, and yes economic within a narrow band - is notable IMO. It could definitely be worse.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
We are at a Title I DCPS school applying to private middle school. There are wonderful students at our school, from working-class families, who would be so uplifted by a chance at a strong private school. My DC has an outstanding classmate and we've sought to support this child's parent in their applications.

But as I'm going through this, I see that the process itself is such a barrier to low-income families. The essays alone are insane. How is a parent without a college degree supposed to write these? The process feels like an intentional screen for professional-class families. Once the admissions office gets to FA decisions, the families who made it all the way through and who have the greatest "need" are still professional-class families with six-figure HHI.

This is 100% it. The schools, donors, and families want only as much diversity as possible to say they are diverse but not disrupt their bubble. The full pay families consider the lower 6 figure HHI to be poor so that’s the socioeconomic diversity

I think most people would much rather FA go to families who truly deserve it and bring diversity (or some other benefit to the school) than to our neighbors gaming the system. And the grifters know this otherwise they would be upfront about receiving FA. Instead they keep it a secret like the family I just heard about getting FA at multiple schools for their multiple just regular white kids while living in some of the nicest neighborhoods around. No one would ever guess.

Why do you think a family’s finances are your business that they should be “upfront” with you about their FA status? “Oh, hi, I’m Larlo’s mom, nice to meet you. We make $80k a year and get aid, what about you?” Give me a break.

Yes, that way they can be looked down upon and made to feel inferior at regular intervals, and the FA donors can have their egos stroked. Actually, the ideal would be if everyone who got FA had to wear signs with their household income on it while at school events so everyone else could judge their worthiness. /s

That is 100% what the OP's outrage is about. When they say they want FA to go to the "truly needy" they mean "people we can see are poorer than us, because of the kind of house where they live." And if it weren't houses it would be something else -- vacations, cars, shoes. You can easily imagine the threads: "People whose kids wear brand name clothes but getting significant financial aid!" or "FA family turned down my secondhand clothes??"

Bluntly, if it's a priority for your kid to be in classrooms with truly needy students, public school is right there.
What the outraged posters want is to be around a limited number of carefully screened families who are needy enough to be grateful/cowed.

Convenient how your argument supports giving less FA to low-income students. Let’s put that on the website and in the viewbook, shall we? FA only for people with enough money that we don’t feel uncomfortable around them. But look at all our diversity and inclusion!!

at our school i know 2 stay at home moms who have older kids 6th grade + that get financial aid and make over 200k a year. get a damn job! they wear nice clothes and dive similar cars to the rest of the school.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
We are at a Title I DCPS school applying to private middle school. There are wonderful students at our school, from working-class families, who would be so uplifted by a chance at a strong private school. My DC has an outstanding classmate and we've sought to support this child's parent in their applications.

But as I'm going through this, I see that the process itself is such a barrier to low-income families. The essays alone are insane. How is a parent without a college degree supposed to write these? The process feels like an intentional screen for professional-class families. Once the admissions office gets to FA decisions, the families who made it all the way through and who have the greatest "need" are still professional-class families with six-figure HHI.

This is 100% it. The schools, donors, and families want only as much diversity as possible to say they are diverse but not disrupt their bubble. The full pay families consider the lower 6 figure HHI to be poor so that’s the socioeconomic diversity

I think most people would much rather FA go to families who truly deserve it and bring diversity (or some other benefit to the school) than to our neighbors gaming the system. And the grifters know this otherwise they would be upfront about receiving FA. Instead they keep it a secret like the family I just heard about getting FA at multiple schools for their multiple just regular white kids while living in some of the nicest neighborhoods around. No one would ever guess.

Why do you think a family’s finances are your business that they should be “upfront” with you about their FA status? “Oh, hi, I’m Larlo’s mom, nice to meet you. We make $80k a year and get aid, what about you?” Give me a break.

Yes, that way they can be looked down upon and made to feel inferior at regular intervals, and the FA donors can have their egos stroked. Actually, the ideal would be if everyone who got FA had to wear signs with their household income on it while at school events so everyone else could judge their worthiness. /s

What would be ideal is if there was a sliding scale for tuition based on adjusted gross income - or something. At my private, tuition feels like MSRP and it feels obnoxious for me, someone who has never taken a break from working to be home with my kids & carefully plans tuition coverage, to be subsidizing financial aid for a SAHM with a Chanel bag whose wealthy parents are financing the rest. That is a real life scenario at my school based on people I know receive aid.

we will just apply for aid at some point and see if/what we get.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
We are at a Title I DCPS school applying to private middle school. There are wonderful students at our school, from working-class families, who would be so uplifted by a chance at a strong private school. My DC has an outstanding classmate and we've sought to support this child's parent in their applications.

But as I'm going through this, I see that the process itself is such a barrier to low-income families. The essays alone are insane. How is a parent without a college degree supposed to write these? The process feels like an intentional screen for professional-class families. Once the admissions office gets to FA decisions, the families who made it all the way through and who have the greatest "need" are still professional-class families with six-figure HHI.

This is 100% it. The schools, donors, and families want only as much diversity as possible to say they are diverse but not disrupt their bubble. The full pay families consider the lower 6 figure HHI to be poor so that’s the socioeconomic diversity

I think most people would much rather FA go to families who truly deserve it and bring diversity (or some other benefit to the school) than to our neighbors gaming the system. And the grifters know this otherwise they would be upfront about receiving FA. Instead they keep it a secret like the family I just heard about getting FA at multiple schools for their multiple just regular white kids while living in some of the nicest neighborhoods around. No one would ever guess.

Why do you think a family’s finances are your business that they should be “upfront” with you about their FA status? “Oh, hi, I’m Larlo’s mom, nice to meet you. We make $80k a year and get aid, what about you?” Give me a break.

Yes, that way they can be looked down upon and made to feel inferior at regular intervals, and the FA donors can have their egos stroked. Actually, the ideal would be if everyone who got FA had to wear signs with their household income on it while at school events so everyone else could judge their worthiness. /s

That is 100% what the OP's outrage is about. When they say they want FA to go to the "truly needy" they mean "people we can see are poorer than us, because of the kind of house where they live." And if it weren't houses it would be something else -- vacations, cars, shoes. You can easily imagine the threads: "People whose kids wear brand name clothes but getting significant financial aid!" or "FA family turned down my secondhand clothes??"

Bluntly, if it's a priority for your kid to be in classrooms with truly needy students, public school is right there.
What the outraged posters want is to be around a limited number of carefully screened families who are needy enough to be grateful/cowed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a GS-12 Fed with a stay-at-home wife, and we live in a 4M+ McLean neighborhood that is owned by her parents (no mortgage). They also pay property taxes, maintenance, landscape, and upkeeping of the house. We are only responsible for electricity and water bills. I have three kids at two different big3 private, and they each receive about 90% of the financial aid. Her parents pay the remaining 10% of the tuition.

Grifter.

lol