Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank god for Rate my Professor.

My nephew was starting freshman year this year and a bunch of recent graduates had 1 piece of advice for him at his going away party ... do not take a class from a professor like OP.

1. Check Rate my Professor before registering
2. The 1st class, feel the professor out, if he is like OP DROP.THE.CLASS. You can't out IQ a bad professor, you can't teach yourself the class, drop.the.class. There is no getting around a bad arrogant professor, just drop the class and take an elective that is open. It gets better when you are in your last 2 years, ask friends who can teach, who is good.. take their classes.

Hey Professor care to share your name so we can look you up in Rate My Professor?

RatemyProfessor often ends up favoring easy profs--and often adjuncts who are young. What a waste of resources for your kids to take classes from the people who are not the top in their field and who may be nice and understanding but have lower demands. I guess if your aim is to get through school with the least amount of work possible.

+ 1.

+2

Hmm, not my experience with Rate My Professor. From what I can tell by the occasional glance, at my kid's LAC the difficult profs often have very high overall ratings (overall and difficulty scored separately.) Academic rigor and nice profs are not mutually exclusive, as least there. As for taking classes from someone who is tops in their field, that can be an interesting experience (I went to a big research university), but I think the academic priorities for undergraduate study are to master the fundamentals of a field, learn to learn, and develop a passion to learn more. I think these objectives are more compatible with a prof who prioritizes undergrad teaching first and research second. In my experience, the profs who make it clear they don't want to be in the lecture hall with undergrads don't instill the same desire to go beyond what's needed to get an A, and usually aren't the ones grading exams or papers or answering questions in office hours anyway, so are a step removed from the actual learning to begin with. I also found certain researchers in some of the less black and white fields were less likely to adequately cover theories that conflicted with their own.

My apologies if I misunderstood PP. Also, none of this is a criticism of OP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fine and agreed with most of these things (though your tone is a bit much)

-mom of 2 college students (including one new freshman)

In exchange, please

do not cancel office hours without letting students know
respond to student's emails in a timely manner, even if the answer is no or you don't know
timely grade work so students can learn from mistakes

And maybe give new kids time to settle in - despite doing laundry and being a good high school student, new freshman are learning to live alone and navigate academic and social realities and a little grace wouldn't hurt, especially at the end of the year.

This is why the kids have issues - an enabling mother making excuses.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, it sounds like many parents here are in favor of their college age kids exhibiting the following behaviors?

1. Asking a question instead of looking at the syllabus or, frankly, using google.

2. Bad behavior like being disrespectful, being late, talking during class, getting up and stomping out of the classroom, anything like that.

3. Not know how to send emails, including properly address a person, type full sentences or make their question clear.

Every single one of these happen in the workforce. So, why are we bashing teens? This thread needs to die.

Yes, I was just in a meeting given by a cabinet secretary about the impending shut down. There were people asking really dumb questions that had been answered plain as day in the 1-page email the secretary's office sent out an hour earlier.

Anonymous wrote:Doesn't this post seem like it was written by a frustrated high school teacher?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just one point: how are parents supposed to know about and address "talking during class, getting up and stomping out of the classroom" even what kinds of questions they ask in class -- maybe you should be addressing high school teachers. Parents get zero information about what their kids are like in school.

How about you just teach general respectful behaviors and emotional regulation.

The responses from so many of the defensive parents on here are embarrassing.

I said nothing defensive. As far as I know, all kids are respectful in the classroom, as they are at home. If they aren’t, then that’s terrible; only the teachers know about that and only the teachers can correct that behavior or at least tell someone about it.

Adding "calling home every time a student is disrespectful" or "stopping class to comment on disrespect every time it happens" to the long list of things that keep teachers from actually spending their time on teaching, preparing lessons, grading, etc. is not a viable option.

Maybe a secondary grade (that doesn't get reported to colleges) commenting on behavior in class should go along with the academic letter grade for each class. Unfortunately, the parents most likely to notice and act on that would probably be the least likely to have kids with issues.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:dear college professor,

why did you go into education if you are not willing to do the job of educating people?

you sound like the kind of professor that nobody says take their class, they are awesome.

signed most people

Dear Nitwit,

It is not the job of professors to teach kids to work hard, be respectful, write proper emails, bathe, do laundry, and show up on time. That's the job of parents, many of whom are failing.

Signed,

Not the OP

the nitwit- me has two in college having a great time and doing just fine. college teachers are just like government workers protected in their jobs and think they are above everyone.

i'm sure the op has some shortcomings in life and isn't so perfect.
+1 That ^PP is a nitwit and probably thinks the adults (professors and admins) at the college are supposed to takeover as their kid's parent.

Dear nitwit,

It sounds like your kid is not ready to go away to college.

Signed,

Parent of college and HS aged kids

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear Prof,

I have been working on these and other skills for years with my ADHD/ASD kid.

He will mess up, despite being explicitly taught these things. He's in contact with the disability office and has already asked you for his extended time.

He had high stats and is an academic, intellectual person, which is why your place of employment accepted him. Sorry, but he's always going to be an absent-minded professor type, and his brain is somewhere in the vicinity of Pluto most of the time.

And you know who it hurts most? Not you. HIM. He is destined to go through life with ADHD and ASD and all his social quirks. You've only got to suffer him for your class. He has to suffer himself for life.

Best regards,

Mom.

Oh FFS stop using their disabilities like a crutch. The professor is right and if your poor addled ADHD kids you have probably hovered over and made excuses for and bulldozed a path for over the years can’t meet basic expectations, you failed them.

dp.. obviously, people with ADHD have a harder time, but seriously, you cannot keep using this crutch into the workplace. Your boss won't care that you miss deadlines, and your coworkers won't care if you have adhd when you smell so badly no one wants to be in the conference room with you.

I often wonder what the plan is for all these SNs college grads. Do you steer them into becoming a CPA or actuary or computer programmer, etc. where they perhaps don't have to interact much with clients/customers? I mean the descriptions seem to indicate they have real problems functioning in the world.

Anonymous wrote:Fine and agreed with most of these things (though your tone is a bit much)

-mom of 2 college students (including one new freshman)

In exchange, please

do not cancel office hours without letting students know
respond to student's emails in a timely manner, even if the answer is no or you don't know
timely grade work so students can learn from mistakes

And maybe give new kids time to settle in - despite doing laundry and being a good high school student, new freshman are learning to live alone and navigate academic and social realities and a little grace wouldn't hurt, especially at the end of the year.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank god for Rate my Professor.

My nephew was starting freshman year this year and a bunch of recent graduates had 1 piece of advice for him at his going away party ... do not take a class from a professor like OP.

1. Check Rate my Professor before registering
2. The 1st class, feel the professor out, if he is like OP DROP.THE.CLASS. You can't out IQ a bad professor, you can't teach yourself the class, drop.the.class. There is no getting around a bad arrogant professor, just drop the class and take an elective that is open. It gets better when you are in your last 2 years, ask friends who can teach, who is good.. take their classes.

Hey Professor care to share your name so we can look you up in Rate My Professor?

RatemyProfessor often ends up favoring easy profs--and often adjuncts who are young. What a waste of resources for your kids to take classes from the people who are not the top in their field and who may be nice and understanding but have lower demands. I guess if your aim is to get through school with the least amount of work possible.

+ 1.

+2

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just one point: how are parents supposed to know about and address "talking during class, getting up and stomping out of the classroom" even what kinds of questions they ask in class -- maybe you should be addressing high school teachers. Parents get zero information about what their kids are like in school.

How about you just teach general respectful behaviors and emotional regulation.

The responses from so many of the defensive parents on here are embarrassing.

I said nothing defensive. As far as I know, all kids are respectful in the classroom, as they are at home. If they aren’t, then that’s terrible; only the teachers know about that and only the teachers can correct that behavior or at least tell someone about it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank god for Rate my Professor.

My nephew was starting freshman year this year and a bunch of recent graduates had 1 piece of advice for him at his going away party ... do not take a class from a professor like OP.

1. Check Rate my Professor before registering
2. The 1st class, feel the professor out, if he is like OP DROP.THE.CLASS. You can't out IQ a bad professor, you can't teach yourself the class, drop.the.class. There is no getting around a bad arrogant professor, just drop the class and take an elective that is open. It gets better when you are in your last 2 years, ask friends who can teach, who is good.. take their classes.

Hey Professor care to share your name so we can look you up in Rate My Professor?

RatemyProfessor often ends up favoring easy profs--and often adjuncts who are young. What a waste of resources for your kids to take classes from the people who are not the top in their field and who may be nice and understanding but have lower demands. I guess if your aim is to get through school with the least amount of work possible.

+ 1.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank god for Rate my Professor.

My nephew was starting freshman year this year and a bunch of recent graduates had 1 piece of advice for him at his going away party ... do not take a class from a professor like OP.

1. Check Rate my Professor before registering
2. The 1st class, feel the professor out, if he is like OP DROP.THE.CLASS. You can't out IQ a bad professor, you can't teach yourself the class, drop.the.class. There is no getting around a bad arrogant professor, just drop the class and take an elective that is open. It gets better when you are in your last 2 years, ask friends who can teach, who is good.. take their classes.

Hey Professor care to share your name so we can look you up in Rate My Professor?

RatemyProfessor often ends up favoring easy profs--and often adjuncts who are young. What a waste of resources for your kids to take classes from the people who are not the top in their field and who may be nice and understanding but have lower demands. I guess if your aim is to get through school with the least amount of work possible.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. Everyone is talking past each other. OP’s points are valid and valuable, and an important reminder — perhaps *especially* to those of us (waves hand) with neurodivergent kids.

It’s too bad that OP layered on top of these meaningful insights subjective judgments and broad generalizations, like all-caps “LAZINESS” and statements like “these kids are clearly being raised without consequences.” It’s these things, not the underlying points, that invited people to say “actually, it can be more complicated than mere parental neglect and child laziness.”

The skills are essential. And also, it can be more complicated. Both things are true. What would be most useful would be tips for helping kids get there — especially from parents whose kids took longer than peers to gain the skills.

That's well said. I also think this thread (and many others) highlights the contradictory messaging and expectations for parents that are undermining healthy parenting and our kids' development. On the one hand, parents are blamed for helicoptering. We should step back and let our kids fail. On the other hand, when they fail, we are continually reminded that their failure is a reflection of our poor parenting. Don't derive your self-worth from your kids' successes, but also, you failed if your kid isn't perfect. Which is it? If we are to blame for them not showering once they are off to college, why wouldn't a professor be surprised when a parent contacts them?

I say this as a parent of a kid who is as much of a rule-follower as you can get, who easily fell into that state with little oversight from me. I have another kid who is the opposite and will likely wind up in therapy because my ceaseless efforts to force him to do what came easily to his sibling are interpreted as a lack of faith and belief in him.

I think the point is that you let them fail when they are KIDS, so that when they are adults and go to college, they don't look like buffoons.

+1 sort of, yes. I'm a PP, and I've taught my kids as much as I can about this stuff, but let's face it, they are still going to fail sometimes.

I think OP is probably just fed up because of the sheer number of kids they are seeing like this, not just the rare few times.

As to the point about helicoptering vs natural consequences.. I always tell my kids that parenting is walking a fine line between overbearing and hands off. As a parent, we have to find that fine line somewhere.

then he should be writing to HS principals. Please teach kids how to send a proper email. If a parent in HS helps a kid with anything they are helicoptering.

Also, as a person who works in the real world, an email is informational, just the information please... I don't have time for your BS long emails trying to sound literary.