Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It does not have a cult-like following. We are a former Gilman family, and we loved our time there. That doesn't make it cult-like. The Baltimore Banner article quoted someone as saying Bendann "groomed the community" which is another way of saying he was well-liked and well-thought of. I'm sure there is some way of protecting kids 100%. My personal goal is to also retain what is wonderful about Gilman.

+1. “He groomed the community” to me means he pulled the wool over their eyes, and they fell for it. Not one adult stayed vigilant. The perp was 37 years old. Aren’t senior “trained” administrators supposed to be smarter than him? Apparently, their sex abuser out-foxed them all for 15 years.

Is there no hope for the future of the school when the most prevalent response seems to be “it can happen anywhere”. Is there nothing administrators can do about preventing the next predator from assaulting their students?

If a coach gets arrested, do you not let your kid be coached by males anymore? Yes, it can happen anywhere, o matter how trained the staff is, certain people slip through the cracks, unfortunately and yes, anywhere and everywhere. There are private schools right here in dc, that have dealt with this, too

Please name one single DC area school dealing with *continued* teacher sex abuse scandals. Zero.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It does not have a cult-like following. We are a former Gilman family, and we loved our time there. That doesn't make it cult-like. The Baltimore Banner article quoted someone as saying Bendann "groomed the community" which is another way of saying he was well-liked and well-thought of. I'm sure there is some way of protecting kids 100%. My personal goal is to also retain what is wonderful about Gilman.

+1. “He groomed the community” to me means he pulled the wool over their eyes, and they fell for it. Not one adult stayed vigilant. The perp was 37 years old. Aren’t senior “trained” administrators supposed to be smarter than him? Apparently, their sex abuser out-foxed them all for 15 years.

Is there no hope for the future of the school when the most prevalent response seems to be “it can happen anywhere”. Is there nothing administrators can do about preventing the next predator from assaulting their students?

If a coach gets arrested, do you not let your kid be coached by males anymore? Yes, it can happen anywhere, o matter how trained the staff is, certain people slip through the cracks, unfortunately and yes, anywhere and everywhere. There are private schools right here in dc, that have dealt with this, too

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It does not have a cult-like following. We are a former Gilman family, and we loved our time there. That doesn't make it cult-like. The Baltimore Banner article quoted someone as saying Bendann "groomed the community" which is another way of saying he was well-liked and well-thought of. I'm sure there is some way of protecting kids 100%. My personal goal is to also retain what is wonderful about Gilman.

+1. “He groomed the community” to me means he pulled the wool over their eyes, and they fell for it. Not one adult stayed vigilant. The perp was 37 years old. Aren’t senior “trained” administrators supposed to be smarter than him? Apparently, their sex abuser out-foxed them all for 15 years.

Is there no hope for the future of the school when the most prevalent response seems to be “it can happen anywhere”. Is there nothing administrators can do about preventing the next predator from assaulting their students?

Anonymous wrote:It does not have a cult-like following. We are a former Gilman family, and we loved our time there. That doesn't make it cult-like. The Baltimore Banner article quoted someone as saying Bendann "groomed the community" which is another way of saying he was well-liked and well-thought of. I'm sure there is some way of protecting kids 100%. My personal goal is to also retain what is wonderful about Gilman.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How can I get around the paywall to read the Banner article?

As a past Gilman parent, I am satisfied with the school's response so far.

I take a lot of the 'advice' offered on this thread as an attempt to find out what Gilman is doing, and I just am not interested in replying to that. For sure, my heart is heavy. It must be so incredibly difficult to come forward with this abuse.

If you are on an iOS device, when the paywall pops up switch to reader mode.

Yes, as a current Gilman parent, I agree that they are doing everything I would want them to do at this point. They acted quickly as soon as something was actually known, and I think if there was any systemic failure, it was of too much trust, not suppression, or secrecy. Heartbreaking.

but what about... what they did or failed to do BEFORE getting to this point? it's easy to turn on the tears after the fact. what did they do to keep these kids safe before the news broke and the arrest was made? was it adequate?

Exactly. Every professional in child rape (by a familiar person), knows there are always red flags. I find it shocking that no one associated with the school on this thread says they wished they had been better educated to report the red flags. Unbelievable.

Just stop. These teachers and administrators were betrayed by a colleague and are heartbroken. Stop manufacturing blame before there’s a shred of evidence that any of them did a thing wrong. These are real people. Blame the perp, not those betrayed by him.

Gilman must eventually take some action and require every employee, especially the headmaster to get formal training on how pedophiles operate. Why would you disagree?

How bout the training be done at your school or every school? Why are you just pointing out Gilman, because it happened there? Newflash- it could be happening at your school, too and you just don’t know yet. It can literally happen anywhere and at every school. It sucks, but stop using Gilman as this undertrained staff and school, as it’s happened at schools right here in our area, too.

The gilman staff WAS and IS highly trained, also, there was an extended effort, not too long ago, to reach out to former students to identify those who were victimized. So, it's not for lack of training, and it's not for lack of welcoming voices of the victimized, it's because all-male institutions with cult-like followings and insular protective vibes will ALWAYS be at greater risk of harboring pedophiles. The pedophiles choose institutions like these, fill their desks with candy (and provide alcohol) and the trap is laid for teh most vulnerable among the flock.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How can I get around the paywall to read the Banner article?

As a past Gilman parent, I am satisfied with the school's response so far.

I take a lot of the 'advice' offered on this thread as an attempt to find out what Gilman is doing, and I just am not interested in replying to that. For sure, my heart is heavy. It must be so incredibly difficult to come forward with this abuse.

If you are on an iOS device, when the paywall pops up switch to reader mode.

Yes, as a current Gilman parent, I agree that they are doing everything I would want them to do at this point. They acted quickly as soon as something was actually known, and I think if there was any systemic failure, it was of too much trust, not suppression, or secrecy. Heartbreaking.

but what about... what they did or failed to do BEFORE getting to this point? it's easy to turn on the tears after the fact. what did they do to keep these kids safe before the news broke and the arrest was made? was it adequate?

Exactly. Every professional in child rape (by a familiar person), knows there are always red flags. I find it shocking that no one associated with the school on this thread says they wished they had been better educated to report the red flags. Unbelievable.

Just stop. These teachers and administrators were betrayed by a colleague and are heartbroken. Stop manufacturing blame before there’s a shred of evidence that any of them did a thing wrong. These are real people. Blame the perp, not those betrayed by him.

Gilman must eventually take some action and require every employee, especially the headmaster to get formal training on how pedophiles operate. Why would you disagree?

How bout the training be done at your school or every school? Why are you just pointing out Gilman, because it happened there? Newflash- it could be happening at your school, too and you just don’t know yet. It can literally happen anywhere and at every school. It sucks, but stop using Gilman as this undertrained staff and school, as it’s happened at schools right here in our area, too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok now people are starting rumors and not stating facts. The report says the victim said he would go to the house where Chris bendann was housesitting. That is different than saying he assaulted children while babysitting. What he did was really horrible but let’s just wait for the investigation to finish.

Care to share the link to the report you are referring to?

As far as we now know, the male teacher was raping the boys.

DP - the article link above says

The charges are based on an allegation from a graduate who said Bendann sought sexually explicit photographs from students and asked him to take off his clothes in exchange for rides home from parties, according to the charging documents. The charges include numerous examples of improper conduct outside of school hours and off school property. The sex acts allegedly occurred while Bendann was housesitting for families, according to the charges.

So yes, there is no mention of babysitting, but rather that he used the housesitting as a location for the abuse with this victim. I’m not sure the actual location is germane.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How can I get around the paywall to read the Banner article?

As a past Gilman parent, I am satisfied with the school's response so far.

I take a lot of the 'advice' offered on this thread as an attempt to find out what Gilman is doing, and I just am not interested in replying to that. For sure, my heart is heavy. It must be so incredibly difficult to come forward with this abuse.

If you are on an iOS device, when the paywall pops up switch to reader mode.

Yes, as a current Gilman parent, I agree that they are doing everything I would want them to do at this point. They acted quickly as soon as something was actually known, and I think if there was any systemic failure, it was of too much trust, not suppression, or secrecy. Heartbreaking.

but what about... what they did or failed to do BEFORE getting to this point? it's easy to turn on the tears after the fact. what did they do to keep these kids safe before the news broke and the arrest was made? was it adequate?

Exactly. Every professional in child rape (by a familiar person), knows there are always red flags. I find it shocking that no one associated with the school on this thread says they wished they had been better educated to report the red flags. Unbelievable.

Just stop. These teachers and administrators were betrayed by a colleague and are heartbroken. Stop manufacturing blame before there’s a shred of evidence that any of them did a thing wrong. These are real people. Blame the perp, not those betrayed by him.

Gilman must eventually take some action and require every employee, especially the headmaster to get formal training on how pedophiles operate. Why would you disagree?

How bout the training be done at your school or every school? Why are you just pointing out Gilman, because it happened there? Newflash- it could be happening at your school, too and you just don’t know yet. It can literally happen anywhere and at every school. It sucks, but stop using Gilman as this undertrained staff and school, as it’s happened at schools right here in our area, too.

The gilman staff WAS and IS highly trained, also, there was an extended effort, not too long ago, to reach out to former students to identify those who were victimized. So, it's not for lack of training, and it's not for lack of welcoming voices of the victimized, it's because all-male institutions with cult-like followings and insular protective vibes will ALWAYS be at greater risk of harboring pedophiles. The pedophiles choose institutions like these, fill their desks with candy (and provide alcohol) and the trap is laid for teh most vulnerable among the flock.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How can I get around the paywall to read the Banner article?

As a past Gilman parent, I am satisfied with the school's response so far.

I take a lot of the 'advice' offered on this thread as an attempt to find out what Gilman is doing, and I just am not interested in replying to that. For sure, my heart is heavy. It must be so incredibly difficult to come forward with this abuse.

If you are on an iOS device, when the paywall pops up switch to reader mode.

Yes, as a current Gilman parent, I agree that they are doing everything I would want them to do at this point. They acted quickly as soon as something was actually known, and I think if there was any systemic failure, it was of too much trust, not suppression, or secrecy. Heartbreaking.

but what about... what they did or failed to do BEFORE getting to this point? it's easy to turn on the tears after the fact. what did they do to keep these kids safe before the news broke and the arrest was made? was it adequate?

Exactly. Every professional in child rape (by a familiar person), knows there are always red flags. I find it shocking that no one associated with the school on this thread says they wished they had been better educated to report the red flags. Unbelievable.

Just stop. These teachers and administrators were betrayed by a colleague and are heartbroken. Stop manufacturing blame before there’s a shred of evidence that any of them did a thing wrong. These are real people. Blame the perp, not those betrayed by him.

Gilman must eventually take some action and require every employee, especially the headmaster to get formal training on how pedophiles operate. Why would you disagree?

How bout the training be done at your school or every school? Why are you just pointing out Gilman, because it happened there? Newflash- it could be happening at your school, too and you just don’t know yet. It can literally happen anywhere and at every school. It sucks, but stop using Gilman as this undertrained staff and school, as it’s happened at schools right here in our area, too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How can I get around the paywall to read the Banner article?

As a past Gilman parent, I am satisfied with the school's response so far.

I take a lot of the 'advice' offered on this thread as an attempt to find out what Gilman is doing, and I just am not interested in replying to that. For sure, my heart is heavy. It must be so incredibly difficult to come forward with this abuse.

If you are on an iOS device, when the paywall pops up switch to reader mode.

Yes, as a current Gilman parent, I agree that they are doing everything I would want them to do at this point. They acted quickly as soon as something was actually known, and I think if there was any systemic failure, it was of too much trust, not suppression, or secrecy. Heartbreaking.

but what about... what they did or failed to do BEFORE getting to this point? it's easy to turn on the tears after the fact. what did they do to keep these kids safe before the news broke and the arrest was made? was it adequate?

Exactly. Every professional in child rape (by a familiar person), knows there are always red flags. I find it shocking that no one associated with the school on this thread says they wished they had been better educated to report the red flags. Unbelievable.

Just stop. These teachers and administrators were betrayed by a colleague and are heartbroken. Stop manufacturing blame before there’s a shred of evidence that any of them did a thing wrong. These are real people. Blame the perp, not those betrayed by him.

Gilman must eventually take some action and require every employee, especially the headmaster to get formal training on how pedophiles operate. Why would you disagree?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How can I get around the paywall to read the Banner article?

As a past Gilman parent, I am satisfied with the school's response so far.

I take a lot of the 'advice' offered on this thread as an attempt to find out what Gilman is doing, and I just am not interested in replying to that. For sure, my heart is heavy. It must be so incredibly difficult to come forward with this abuse.

If you are on an iOS device, when the paywall pops up switch to reader mode.

Yes, as a current Gilman parent, I agree that they are doing everything I would want them to do at this point. They acted quickly as soon as something was actually known, and I think if there was any systemic failure, it was of too much trust, not suppression, or secrecy. Heartbreaking.

but what about... what they did or failed to do BEFORE getting to this point? it's easy to turn on the tears after the fact. what did they do to keep these kids safe before the news broke and the arrest was made? was it adequate?

Exactly. Every professional in child rape (by a familiar person), knows there are always red flags. I find it shocking that no one associated with the school on this thread says they wished they had been better educated to report the red flags. Unbelievable.

Just stop. These teachers and administrators were betrayed by a colleague and are heartbroken. Stop manufacturing blame before there’s a shred of evidence that any of them did a thing wrong. These are real people. Blame the perp, not those betrayed by him.

Anonymous wrote:Ok now people are starting rumors and not stating facts. The report says the victim said he would go to the house where Chris bendann was housesitting. That is different than saying he assaulted children while babysitting. What he did was really horrible but let’s just wait for the investigation to finish.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How can I get around the paywall to read the Banner article?

As a past Gilman parent, I am satisfied with the school's response so far.

I take a lot of the 'advice' offered on this thread as an attempt to find out what Gilman is doing, and I just am not interested in replying to that. For sure, my heart is heavy. It must be so incredibly difficult to come forward with this abuse.

If you are on an iOS device, when the paywall pops up switch to reader mode.

Yes, as a current Gilman parent, I agree that they are doing everything I would want them to do at this point. They acted quickly as soon as something was actually known, and I think if there was any systemic failure, it was of too much trust, not suppression, or secrecy. Heartbreaking.

but what about... what they did or failed to do BEFORE getting to this point? it's easy to turn on the tears after the fact. what did they do to keep these kids safe before the news broke and the arrest was made? was it adequate?

Exactly. Every professional in child rape (by a familiar person), knows there are always red flags. I find it shocking that no one associated with the school on this thread says they wished they had been better educated to report the red flags. Unbelievable.