Anonymous wrote:Different take on this. While guys would happily sleep with tanning salon girls, strippers, etc. for most professional men it would be a career issue and a family issue to marry them. So no men don’t care but it has to be something that can be explained. Nurse, teacher, cop all fine. Makeup sales at Macy’s less so.

Less about the career, more about the woman’s mind and character. Making conversation with a bimbo every day for the rest of your life is going to get old.

Being educated and having a career are two kinds of life experience that develop you as a person. You come into contact with certain realities, you learn new things, you get new skills. Some of these can translate to a relationship. I would not want to be with someone who doesn’t work. For one s/he might just not have the confidence that comes with having set yourself a challenge in a social context and met it. I also think it would be easier to discuss big picture issues with someone who has a higher level ability to think things through.

Combined HHI is around $700k. My husband isn’t going to live a $450K lifestyle just for the privilege of “not caring” about my career. Adequate HHI means outsourcing a lot of the points of tension in a dual-income relationship.

Different take on this. While guys would happily sleep with tanning salon girls, strippers, etc. for most professional men it would be a career issue and a family issue to marry them. So no men don’t care but it has to be something that can be explained. Nurse, teacher, cop all fine. Makeup sales at Macy’s less so.

The “live within your means” guy needs to leave the thread, along with the “my friends have fantastic careers and this is what men should want woman because he obviously is not a high income earner and his two cents doesn’t count on this thread.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Do the men who think women’s careers don’t matter also chime in on the threads where women talk about dating higher-income men and yell “MAKE YOUR OWN MONEY”? Because only one of those positions can be held at time.

Hey, if you want something expensive, make some money. Be a damn adult. I married someone without a great salary who lived within her means, or our means after we married.

Great, then you do think a woman’s career matters, otherwise how else do you want her to make the money?

I expect her to live within her means.

Which is to say, be fine with whatever you being home even if it is insufficient. *This* is why women screen men for earning potential before marriage, because they don’t want to give an insufficient lifestyle to their children and be married to someone who expects them to be fine with it.

Um … ok? That’s not what OP’s question was about. But define insufficient. Because if you’re excluding any man outside the 1% as having insufficient income, that kinda says something bad about you, not men.

Insufficient means…not enough. For a lifestyle that includes things like private school for children or at minimum paid-for college for children. That’s not a “1%” . You can’t say “MAKE YOUR OWN MONEY” and that women shouldn’t assess men based on their earning potential and then also say womens careers aren’t important.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do the men who think women’s careers don’t matter also chime in on the threads where women talk about dating higher-income men and yell “MAKE YOUR OWN MONEY”? Because only one of those positions can be held at time.

Hey, if you want something expensive, make some money. Be a damn adult. I married someone without a great salary who lived within her means, or our means after we married.

Great, then you do think a woman’s career matters, otherwise how else do you want her to make the money?

I expect her to live within her means.

Which is to say, be fine with whatever you being home even if it is insufficient. *This* is why women screen men for earning potential before marriage, because they don’t want to give an insufficient lifestyle to their children and be married to someone who expects them to be fine with it.

Um … ok? That’s not what OP’s question was about. But define insufficient. Because if you’re excluding any man outside the 1% as having insufficient income, that kinda says something bad about you, not men.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do the men who think women’s careers don’t matter also chime in on the threads where women talk about dating higher-income men and yell “MAKE YOUR OWN MONEY”? Because only one of those positions can be held at time.

Hey, if you want something expensive, make some money. Be a damn adult. I married someone without a great salary who lived within her means, or our means after we married.

Great, then you do think a woman’s career matters, otherwise how else do you want her to make the money?

I expect her to live within her means.

I don't even understand what this means. Does she need to ask your permission to get $300 highlights or Botox every month? If so, it is degrading.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do the men who think women’s careers don’t matter also chime in on the threads where women talk about dating higher-income men and yell “MAKE YOUR OWN MONEY”? Because only one of those positions can be held at time.

Hey, if you want something expensive, make some money. Be a damn adult. I married someone without a great salary who lived within her means, or our means after we married.

Great, then you do think a woman’s career matters, otherwise how else do you want her to make the money?

I expect her to live within her means.

Which is to say, be fine with whatever you being home even if it is insufficient. *This* is why women screen men for earning potential before marriage, because they don’t want to give an insufficient lifestyle to their children and be married to someone who expects them to be fine with it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do the men who think women’s careers don’t matter also chime in on the threads where women talk about dating higher-income men and yell “MAKE YOUR OWN MONEY”? Because only one of those positions can be held at time.

Hey, if you want something expensive, make some money. Be a damn adult. I married someone without a great salary who lived within her means, or our means after we married.

Great, then you do think a woman’s career matters, otherwise how else do you want her to make the money?

I expect her to live within her means.

there is also the expectation that I maintain a higher standard for grooming and self care than he does, which means in addition to doing everything he does, I also have to find the time for workouts, cosmetic care and clothes shopping, which I hate.

Frankly he never even thinks about your grooming, clothing, or cosmetics. Though he’d eventually notice if you let yourself go.

More importantly, though, if you seriously claim that your appearance is the product of his expectations, that does not reflect well upon you. You should exercise, dress well, and attend to your grooming because you have standards you set for yourself, not because he makes you. You are an adult and you are going to look like one. You would do this even if you were single. If you are really only doing it because he expects you to, then you are admitting to you are a child and you have no sense of responsibility for yourself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do the men who think women’s careers don’t matter also chime in on the threads where women talk about dating higher-income men and yell “MAKE YOUR OWN MONEY”? Because only one of those positions can be held at time.

Hey, if you want something expensive, make some money. Be a damn adult. I married someone without a great salary who lived within her means, or our means after we married.

Great, then you do think a woman’s career matters, otherwise how else do you want her to make the money?

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Anonymous wrote:I would prefer to marry a woman who is both physically attractive and has her own career, but if I can only choose one I would choose looks. FWIW I am probably incapable of attracting the woman who has both, I make a relatively high income but was not blessed genetically so I would trade money for looks. I’ve dated some very stunning women as well as those who are more homely/overweight and after experiencing both I cannot get over being with a below average looking woman.

So gross. Scary to think this loser is reproducing.

Yeah the girl has to put up with bad looks and health but not him. Uggh.

I don't understand what's wrong with what he said. I know beautiful women who married average looking men for their money--nothing wrong with that. It seems PP is realistic about what he can get and made his choice.

Not true IMO. I used to do print work and I married a very handsome man with great potential and also from a wealthy family. However, I'm educated and make good money too, so I didn't have to settle. TBH and not to be too graphic, I think this is one of the reasons a lot of women stop having sex with their H after they get married. I imagine it's so hard to be aroused by someone you are not attracted to, so it's easier to just refuse it. There is so much lube can do, you know. I can't imagine having sex with someone unattractive, I'd rather marry moderate income and handsome than wealthy and ugly. Having a 200 lbs., 5'8 ft blobfish-like guy on top of me is not worth the upgrade from a $200 pair of shoes to a $350 pair of shoes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would prefer to marry a woman who is both physically attractive and has her own career, but if I can only choose one I would choose looks. FWIW I am probably incapable of attracting the woman who has both, I make a relatively high income but was not blessed genetically so I would trade money for looks. I’ve dated some very stunning women as well as those who are more homely/overweight and after experiencing both I cannot get over being with a below average looking woman.

So gross. Scary to think this loser is reproducing.

This is how 99% of men think. Might be gross but that’s just how men are.

When men express preferences, women are all “eww gross what a loser.” 🙄

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would prefer to marry a woman who is both physically attractive and has her own career, but if I can only choose one I would choose looks. FWIW I am probably incapable of attracting the woman who has both, I make a relatively high income but was not blessed genetically so I would trade money for looks. I’ve dated some very stunning women as well as those who are more homely/overweight and after experiencing both I cannot get over being with a below average looking woman.

So gross. Scary to think this loser is reproducing.

Yeah the girl has to put up with bad looks and health but not him. Uggh.

I am that dude. Early 30’s guy who works out every day with a 6 pack but I have a receding hairline and am only 5’8, however I would say I’m pretty healthy. You can’t fault me for choosing to date the hot women who I have a shot with now but would have ignored me 10 years ago. I make half a million a year and didn’t study hard for nothing.

I doubt you are as unattractive as you seem to believe. Work on your self esteem first! I’m what most men consider attractive. None of the things you mentioned would keep me from dating you… If I weren’t already happily married. I’m much more attracted to kindness, compassion, responsibility, stability, sense of humor,….. And physical fitness is a must for me. I won’t date someone who doesn’t keep his body healthy and strong.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would prefer to marry a woman who is both physically attractive and has her own career, but if I can only choose one I would choose looks. FWIW I am probably incapable of attracting the woman who has both, I make a relatively high income but was not blessed genetically so I would trade money for looks. I’ve dated some very stunning women as well as those who are more homely/overweight and after experiencing both I cannot get over being with a below average looking woman.

So gross. Scary to think this loser is reproducing.

Yeah the girl has to put up with bad looks and health but not him. Uggh.

I am that dude. Early 30’s guy who works out every day with a 6 pack but I have a receding hairline and am only 5’8, however I would say I’m pretty healthy. You can’t fault me for choosing to date the hot women who I have a shot with now but would have ignored me 10 years ago. I make half a million a year and didn’t study hard for nothing.