Anonymous wrote:DH:

Pros: Very handy/mechanical genius
Loves us all fiercely
Loyal and dedicated to Wife and kids



cons: Extremely emotionally immature
impossible to have a deep relationship with
The opposite of fun
Never wants to try anything new/go anywhere/do anything
Refuses to deal with any problems whatsoever and how dare I bring anything up
Refuses to deal with emotional issues he has and just gets angry if any are brought up
Unkind to anyone not "smart" enough" or quick enough to grasp what he is saying.
Rude and inconsiderate, and gets his "feelings hurt" if asked not to do something that is bothering someone else
Throws what I call "adult temper tantrums" that are quiet, covert, etc, but they are there nonetheless. It can be months of a silent treatment for example
Obnoxious


But....he loves us and would do anything for us he could physically do. Says he has nothing if he doesn't have his family. But we are all miserable. Do I stay or leave? I just feel so conflicted....


Going through a similar pattern, but days vs months of silent treatment, and our marriage counselor described it as emotional abuse. If you want to save the marriage and be happy, get into marriage counseling and address everything on your con list. Good luck.

Anonymous wrote:Ok here’s my DW - lets hear your thoughts.

Pro’s:
She’s a certified badass:
- highly driven
- put herself through college (every dime working multiple jobs)
- has had a highly successful/stable career
- she earns around $1m per year in her career/job
- outside of her career she’s built and runs a rental property business that produces and extra $200k ish per year. (She’s done everything from finding/buying properties to sub-contracting rennovations, to doing back-busting physical labor herself to keep a project on budget).
- she runs our household and manages our teen son’s school activities and sports.
- she’s fit and has a ridiculous body. She was an HS/College level track athlete and has always loved staying fit. She turns heads in a bikini.
- she enjoys and makes time for sex. The sex is good.
- she has a good sense of humor (sometimes, depending on her mood)
- she loves dogs, does volunteer work at an animal rescue and fosters dogs until we get them adopted.
- She has zero interest in impressing anyone
-She goes out of her way to do things for my family.

Con’s:
- To be successful, she’s had to run over tons of obstacles in her career and life. Sometimes she runs over the people around her including myself and our son. What makes a successful business person doesn’t always make for good personal relationships.
- She has to have control of everything. One of the reasons she owns so much of our worklist is that she honestly can’t hand it off and will micro-manage that person until she ultimately takes it back out of frustration.
- she rewrites history to suit her narrative (so in hindsight all of her decisions are always perfectly sound)
- Her decisiveness causes her to make snap decisions that aren’t always accurate. She sees you do something one time - you do that something ALL the time and its a character flaw.
- Sex can’t be spontaneous, it always has to be scheduled days ahead. No oral ever, for either of us.
- If you do ever win an argument, you’re an a—hole and you’ll end up having to apologize for something.

Anonymous wrote:DH:

Pros: Very handy/mechanical genius
Loves us all fiercely
Loyal and dedicated to Wife and kids



cons: Extremely emotionally immature
impossible to have a deep relationship with
The opposite of fun
Never wants to try anything new/go anywhere/do anything
Refuses to deal with any problems whatsoever and how dare I bring anything up
Refuses to deal with emotional issues he has and just gets angry if any are brought up
Unkind to anyone not "smart" enough" or quick enough to grasp what he is saying.
Rude and inconsiderate, and gets his "feelings hurt" if asked not to do something that is bothering someone else
Throws what I call "adult temper tantrums" that are quiet, covert, etc, but they are there nonetheless. It can be months of a silent treatment for example
Obnoxious


But....he loves us and would do anything for us he could physically do. Says he has nothing if he doesn't have his family. But we are all miserable. Do I stay or leave? I just feel so conflicted....

Anonymous wrote:Ok here’s my DW - lets hear your thoughts.

Pro’s:
She’s a certified badass:
- highly driven
- put herself through college (every dime working multiple jobs)
- has had a highly successful/stable career
- she earns around $1m per year in her career/job
- outside of her career she’s built and runs a rental property business that produces and extra $200k ish per year. (She’s done everything from finding/buying properties to sub-contracting rennovations, to doing back-busting physical labor herself to keep a project on budget).
- she runs our household and manages our teen son’s school activities and sports.
- she’s fit and has a ridiculous body. She was an HS/College level track athlete and has always loved staying fit. She turns heads in a bikini.
- she enjoys and makes time for sex. The sex is good.
- she has a good sense of humor (sometimes, depending on her mood)
- she loves dogs, does volunteer work at an animal rescue and fosters dogs until we get them adopted.
- She has zero interest in impressing anyone
-She goes out of her way to do things for my family.

Con’s:
- To be successful, she’s had to run over tons of obstacles in her career and life. Sometimes she runs over the people around her including myself and our son. What makes a successful business person doesn’t always make for good personal relationships.
- She has to have control of everything. One of the reasons she owns so much of our worklist is that she honestly can’t hand it off and will micro-manage that person until she ultimately takes it back out of frustration.
- she rewrites history to suit her narrative (so in hindsight all of her decisions are always perfectly sound)
- Her decisiveness causes her to make snap decisions that aren’t always accurate. She sees you do something one time - you do that something ALL the time and its a character flaw.
- Sex can’t be spontaneous, it always has to be scheduled days ahead. No oral ever, for either of us.
- If you do ever win an argument, you’re an a—hole and you’ll end up having to apologize for something.