Anonymous
09/08/2023 04:29
Subject: "I won't date someone whose parents are divorced"
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don't think divorce is terrible. Women being shamed to stay in bad marriages is much much worse.
Both are bad, people should marry with eyes open wide to find good partners and then do their best to make their marriage successful, instead of breaking it as soon as a hurdle arises or another person shows interest in them.
Obviously, we can't have 100% success rate but at least half of bad marriages and stupid divorces are preventable.
It's a catch 22 for women. Lots of women start suffering from infertility at 35. But many
are too young at 26 to marry with eyes wide open. So they have like 5-6 years to figure it out. That's three long term relationships. There is little room for error.
Anonymous
09/08/2023 02:01
Subject: "I won't date someone whose parents are divorced"
Anonymous wrote:I don't think divorce is terrible. Women being shamed to stay in bad marriages is much much worse.
Both are bad, people should marry with eyes open wide to find good partners and then do their best to make their marriage successful, instead of breaking it as soon as a hurdle arises or another person shows interest in them.
Obviously, we can't have 100% success rate but at least half of bad marriages and stupid divorces are preventable.
Anonymous
09/07/2023 17:53
Subject: "I won't date someone whose parents are divorced"
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:"researchers have some ideas about why divorce would be heritable. One theory is that many children of divorce don’t learn important lessons about commitment. “All couples fight,” Wolfinger explains. “If your parents stay together, they fight and then you realize these things aren’t fatal to a marriage. If you’re from a divorced family, you don’t learn that message, and [after fights] it seems like things are untenable. And so you bounce.”
This is such simplistic reasoning that it’s honestly bordering on offensive for people who leave marriages because of abuse, adults, coercion, addiction, or any other number of deal breakers. I feel like most of the responders here are probably super conservative and have their own very traditional understanding about how life ought to be lived. To each his own.
+1 Alcoholism, ADHD, and certain mental illnesses are all heritable and definitely wreak havoc on marriages, but researchers concluded that children of divorced parents get divorced because they didn’t learn that fighting is a normal part of marriage. Yes, that is simplistic. It’s like they were looking for a way to lay blame on that population. Families often have multiple generations with the same issue, like alcoholism or mental illness. Maybe multiple generations of people marrying into the same family just can’t live with it.
No dear, conflict resolution is. Constant fighting is a great reason to divorce actually.
You filtered this post through a teeny tiny lens to reach the conclusion you wanted to, but missed the actual point.
Anonymous
09/07/2023 15:43
Subject: Re:"I won't date someone whose parents are divorced"
I married someone whose parents were divorced and all I can say is I wish I hadn’t.
Anonymous
09/07/2023 12:39
Subject: "I won't date someone whose parents are divorced"
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:"researchers have some ideas about why divorce would be heritable. One theory is that many children of divorce don’t learn important lessons about commitment. “All couples fight,” Wolfinger explains. “If your parents stay together, they fight and then you realize these things aren’t fatal to a marriage. If you’re from a divorced family, you don’t learn that message, and [after fights] it seems like things are untenable. And so you bounce.”
This is such simplistic reasoning that it’s honestly bordering on offensive for people who leave marriages because of abuse, adults, coercion, addiction, or any other number of deal breakers. I feel like most of the responders here are probably super conservative and have their own very traditional understanding about how life ought to be lived. To each his own.
+1 Alcoholism, ADHD, and certain mental illnesses are all heritable and definitely wreak havoc on marriages, but researchers concluded that children of divorced parents get divorced because they didn’t learn that fighting is a normal part of marriage. Yes, that is simplistic. It’s like they were looking for a way to lay blame on that population. Families often have multiple generations with the same issue, like alcoholism or mental illness. Maybe multiple generations of people marrying into the same family just can’t live with it.
No dear, conflict resolution is. Constant fighting is a great reason to divorce actually.