Anonymous wrote:I retired early at 53. My wife never worked outside the home. We had all four of our kids before we turned 30. We are now in our late 50s and have grandchildren. We all live in the DC area and see the grandkids almost every day. We are a huge part of their lives and they are a huge part of ours.

To those of you who say “I don’t need grandparents” all I can say is you don’t know what you or your kids are missing.

Grandparents are great, but it's a relatively new phenomena that people really get to see their grandkids grow up. My paternal grandma started having kids young, at 20, but life on the farm before the pill, she had kids well into her 40s. Her last child was born at 44 and she miscarried her last pregnancy at 46. So she saw some grandkids grow but not all. It's not like in the old days people had all their kids early and then decided to stop.

People are living longer now. My generation can live to 100, at least of those who aren't obese and living unhealthy lifestyles.

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Anonymous wrote:I hope you support paid family leave and universal affordable childcare, and candidates that push for those policies.

This!

And I had my oldest when I was 21

NP. I do not support paid family leave or universal childcare. If you can't afford children, stop having them ..your kids are not the tax payer's financial responsibility.

I had my first at 21. Unplanned. Financially it wasn’t easy, but it clearly wasn’t flat out impossible since I now have two advanced degrees. I was aggressive about seizing any supports and opportunities I could. I’m finally at income level DCUM thinks you need to be to have a child. I finished having kids over a decade ago. They are doing very well. I’m glad I didn’t miss out on them.

A cousin not much younger than me waited. And waited. And waited. She didn’t want to struggle like I did. Sadly, she struggled anyway. She’s no better off financially than I am and she doesn’t have the kids she planned to have someday. We’ve encouraged her to look at foster to adopt, but she is pretty despondent right now.

Anonymous wrote:I retired early at 53. My wife never worked outside the home. We had all four of our kids before we turned 30. We are now in our late 50s and have grandchildren. We all live in the DC area and see the grandkids almost every day. We are a huge part of their lives and they are a huge part of ours.

To those of you who say “I don’t need grandparents” all I can say is you don’t know what you or your kids are missing.

This would be my ideal situation. Both my parents and I had our kids in our late 20s and very early 30s. I will be 50 when my first graduates from college. Unfortunately I married an older man and he will be 63 when our first graduates from college. My parents are “youngish” grandparents and a huge part of my kids lives. My mom is able to take care of them on her own for weeks at the time (since they were toddlers). I want the same for my grandkids... I am just sad that my DH will probably too old to do much

It is a different world.

Why do you let "society" dictate you choices. You sound weak. Make your own decisions your life.

Why do you let "society" dictate you choices. You sound weak. Make your own decisions about yoyrvlufey

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Anonymous wrote:Very glad I live in a society where women have the choice (and methods) to never have children. We still have a lot of work to do to get the point where it's not just assumed that every woman will or wants to be a broodmare.

+1000! I'm a 30yo woman who is doing my PhD and I have long decided that I am childfree by choice. My grandmother didn't have the same choices I have- she was illiterate and coerced into marriage and bore 7 children- with no pain meds. Her life sucked and I wish more people can realize just how recent it has been in human history for a woman to exercise her reproductive choices. Unless of course you're in Alabama.

I have an Ivy League PhD and 3 kids. You sound clueless.

Why does PP sound clueless? Women having control over their reproductive choices is a very recent development, even in the West. It's good that women can choose for themselves if and when they want children.

she sounds clueless because she is only 30 and “has long decided to be childless. how long can that be?
also she is clueless for using her grandma as relevant alternative to pursing a PhD. plenty of women have kids, careers and advanced degrees.

DP Considering there are less births today I'd say she could put it off forever. Why do you care? She didn't judge you and I'm sure she knows there are successful women who are mothers. I'm sure we are all clueless about some things but, this doesn't sound like the pp is.

every single childless 30 years old woman is clueless regarding kids, what it means to have them or the effect they would have on their lives.

That is condescending and mysoginist. Coming from another woman its especially awful. I know several child-free by choice women and couples. They all pretty much concluded this in their late 20s and now in early to late 40s still feel the same. I know its hard to people to believe that women can actually know their own mind and find happiness outside of raising children. But maybe the influence of asshole men in your life is really ingrained in your mind.

I agree and I have a child. You are a very poor representation for women period. Glad my kid is not growing up in your warped household.

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Anonymous wrote:Very glad I live in a society where women have the choice (and methods) to never have children. We still have a lot of work to do to get the point where it's not just assumed that every woman will or wants to be a broodmare.

+1000! I'm a 30yo woman who is doing my PhD and I have long decided that I am childfree by choice. My grandmother didn't have the same choices I have- she was illiterate and coerced into marriage and bore 7 children- with no pain meds. Her life sucked and I wish more people can realize just how recent it has been in human history for a woman to exercise her reproductive choices. Unless of course you're in Alabama.

I have an Ivy League PhD and 3 kids. You sound clueless.

Why does PP sound clueless? Women having control over their reproductive choices is a very recent development, even in the West. It's good that women can choose for themselves if and when they want children.

she sounds clueless because she is only 30 and “has long decided to be childless. how long can that be?
also she is clueless for using her grandma as relevant alternative to pursing a PhD. plenty of women have kids, careers and advanced degrees.

DP Considering there are less births today I'd say she could put it off forever. Why do you care? She didn't judge you and I'm sure she knows there are successful women who are mothers. I'm sure we are all clueless about some things but, this doesn't sound like the pp is.

every single childless 30 years old woman is clueless regarding kids, what it means to have them or the effect they would have on their lives.

That is condescending and mysoginist. Coming from another woman its especially awful. I know several child-free by choice women and couples. They all pretty much concluded this in their late 20s and now in early to late 40s still feel the same. I know its hard to people to believe that women can actually know their own mind and find happiness outside of raising children. But maybe the influence of asshole men in your life is really ingrained in your mind.

Anonymous wrote:I hope you support paid family leave and universal affordable childcare, and candidates that push for those policies.

This!

And I had my oldest when I was 21

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very glad I live in a society where women have the choice (and methods) to never have children. We still have a lot of work to do to get the point where it's not just assumed that every woman will or wants to be a broodmare.

+1000! I'm a 30yo woman who is doing my PhD and I have long decided that I am childfree by choice. My grandmother didn't have the same choices I have- she was illiterate and coerced into marriage and bore 7 children- with no pain meds. Her life sucked and I wish more people can realize just how recent it has been in human history for a woman to exercise her reproductive choices. Unless of course you're in Alabama.

I have an Ivy League PhD and 3 kids. You sound clueless.

Why does PP sound clueless? Women having control over their reproductive choices is a very recent development, even in the West. It's good that women can choose for themselves if and when they want children.

she sounds clueless because she is only 30 and “has long decided to be childless. how long can that be?
also she is clueless for using her grandma as relevant alternative to pursing a PhD. plenty of women have kids, careers and advanced degrees.

DP Considering there are less births today I'd say she could put it off forever. Why do you care? She didn't judge you and I'm sure she knows there are successful women who are mothers. I'm sure we are all clueless about some things but, this doesn't sound like the pp is.

every single childless 30 years old woman is clueless regarding kids, what it means to have them or the effect they would have on their lives.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very glad I live in a society where women have the choice (and methods) to never have children. We still have a lot of work to do to get the point where it's not just assumed that every woman will or wants to be a broodmare.

+1000! I'm a 30yo woman who is doing my PhD and I have long decided that I am childfree by choice. My grandmother didn't have the same choices I have- she was illiterate and coerced into marriage and bore 7 children- with no pain meds. Her life sucked and I wish more people can realize just how recent it has been in human history for a woman to exercise her reproductive choices. Unless of course you're in Alabama.

I have an Ivy League PhD and 3 kids. You sound clueless.

Why does PP sound clueless? Women having control over their reproductive choices is a very recent development, even in the West. It's good that women can choose for themselves if and when they want children.

she sounds clueless because she is only 30 and “has long decided to be childless. how long can that be?
also she is clueless for using her grandma as relevant alternative to pursing a PhD. plenty of women have kids, careers and advanced degrees.

DP Considering there are less births today I'd say she could put it off forever. Why do you care? She didn't judge you and I'm sure she knows there are successful women who are mothers. I'm sure we are all clueless about some things but, this doesn't sound like the pp is.

You seriously don't think grandma pp and broodmare pp sound judgemental? Ok.

Anonymous wrote:I retired early at 53. My wife never worked outside the home. We had all four of our kids before we turned 30. We are now in our late 50s and have grandchildren. We all live in the DC area and see the grandkids almost every day. We are a huge part of their lives and they are a huge part of ours.

To those of you who say “I don’t need grandparents” all I can say is you don’t know what you or your kids are missing.

DP That may be so but, not every grandparent is interested or as caring as you are!

I retired early at 53. My wife never worked outside the home. We had all four of our kids before we turned 30. We are now in our late 50s and have grandchildren. We all live in the DC area and see the grandkids almost every day. We are a huge part of their lives and they are a huge part of ours.

To those of you who say “I don’t need grandparents” all I can say is you don’t know what you or your kids are missing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very glad I live in a society where women have the choice (and methods) to never have children. We still have a lot of work to do to get the point where it's not just assumed that every woman will or wants to be a broodmare.

+1000! I'm a 30yo woman who is doing my PhD and I have long decided that I am childfree by choice. My grandmother didn't have the same choices I have- she was illiterate and coerced into marriage and bore 7 children- with no pain meds. Her life sucked and I wish more people can realize just how recent it has been in human history for a woman to exercise her reproductive choices. Unless of course you're in Alabama.

I have an Ivy League PhD and 3 kids. You sound clueless.

Why does PP sound clueless? Women having control over their reproductive choices is a very recent development, even in the West. It's good that women can choose for themselves if and when they want children.

she sounds clueless because she is only 30 and “has long decided to be childless. how long can that be?
also she is clueless for using her grandma as relevant alternative to pursing a PhD. plenty of women have kids, careers and advanced degrees.

DP Considering there are less births today I'd say she could put it off forever. Why do you care? She didn't judge you and I'm sure she knows there are successful women who are mothers. I'm sure we are all clueless about some things but, this doesn't sound like the pp is.