Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Alimony is nit limited to the high earners.

My uncle was military reservist and fed civil servant 40 years ago when he divorced his wife who was also civil service with a similar but lower salary. She still got alimony and he paid child support, and signed over title to the house, all on his salary of $36k/year.

My friend in Maryland is a construction worker foreman and earns about $95k from that. Pays his cheating ex wife who has lived here 20+ years but still can't speak English $3,000/month and child support. That's after tax money ,for him, but she doesn't pay tax on it. He does odd jobs as a handyman to make ends meet. while she lounges all day. Half the time she "can't " pick up their kid from school because she's "busy."

Maryland is difficult to get alimony something doesn't add up here. Some stupid people agree to pay alimony outside courts and then complain at the long term consequences of it
36K salary was a lot 40 years ago.

Oddly Virginia is the opposite. Back breaking alimony for those of us that aren’t high earners

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Alimony is nit limited to the high earners.

My uncle was military reservist and fed civil servant 40 years ago when he divorced his wife who was also civil service with a similar but lower salary. She still got alimony and he paid child support, and signed over title to the house, all on his salary of $36k/year.

My friend in Maryland is a construction worker foreman and earns about $95k from that. Pays his cheating ex wife who has lived here 20+ years but still can't speak English $3,000/month and child support. That's after tax money ,for him, but she doesn't pay tax on it. He does odd jobs as a handyman to make ends meet. while she lounges all day. Half the time she "can't " pick up their kid from school because she's "busy."

Maryland is difficult to get alimony something doesn't add up here. Some stupid people agree to pay alimony outside courts and then complain at the long term consequences of it
36K salary was a lot 40 years ago.

Anonymous wrote:Alimony is nit limited to the high earners.

My uncle was military reservist and fed civil servant 40 years ago when he divorced his wife who was also civil service with a similar but lower salary. She still got alimony and he paid child support, and signed over title to the house, all on his salary of $36k/year.

My friend in Maryland is a construction worker foreman and earns about $95k from that. Pays his cheating ex wife who has lived here 20+ years but still can't speak English $3,000/month and child support. That's after tax money ,for him, but she doesn't pay tax on it. He does odd jobs as a handyman to make ends meet. while she lounges all day. Half the time she "can't " pick up their kid from school because she's "busy."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gimme a break. A wife handling the family business is not a SAHM. She's directly contributing to the family's finances.

And nobody pays for 3 separate child care fees at $35k/year. They'd hire a nanny or get an au pair.

My exH thought I wax SAHM although I made 500k gross a year in revenues for the family business.

And we paid $5k/month to a live-in nanny back in 2009 in DC, when I worked in the office. Childcare at $100k for 3 kids sounds about right for 3 kids

What was the nature of the business and what did you do to start it and achieve those revenues? You're making it sound like you started and built the whole thing yourself, including the startup capital. Is that correct?

We both put equal capital from there he didn't do much as he extensively traveled for his corporate work. I cant put the nature here out of privacy concerns.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gimme a break. A wife handling the family business is not a SAHM. She's directly contributing to the family's finances.

And nobody pays for 3 separate child care fees at $35k/year. They'd hire a nanny or get an au pair.

My exH thought I wax SAHM although I made 500k gross a year in revenues for the family business.

And we paid $5k/month to a live-in nanny back in 2009 in DC, when I worked in the office. Childcare at $100k for 3 kids sounds about right for 3 kids

What was the nature of the business and what did you do to start it and achieve those revenues? You're making it sound like you started and built the whole thing yourself, including the startup capital. Is that correct?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gimme a break. A wife handling the family business is not a SAHM. She's directly contributing to the family's finances.

And nobody pays for 3 separate child care fees at $35k/year. They'd hire a nanny or get an au pair.

My exH thought I wax SAHM although I made 500k gross a year in revenues for the family business.

And we paid $5k/month to a live-in nanny back in 2009 in DC, when I worked in the office. Childcare at $100k for 3 kids sounds about right for 3 kids

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Reread the original post. I have never been a SAHM. I went PT after my second was born because I simply could not handle the kids, household and work full time. He was unwilling to do it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand what men want here. You want the mother of your children, and likely their primary caregiver, to what? Get some minimum wage job and live in a terrible apartment?

Yes. Probably men are fine with this.

Anonymous wrote:Even if your kids are adults and don’t also have to live there with her, do you think this will look good on you?

The adult kids can choose to live with dad. Living in mom's terrible apartment is their choice.

Anonymous wrote:That your kids will forgive you?

Forgive him for what? Not forcing them to live in mom's terrible apartment?

Most men who dump old wives don’t want their kids at their home, or do not parent in any meaningful ways .

If the father needs to “parent” adult children then the spouse responsible for raising them failed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand what men want here. You want the mother of your children, and likely their primary caregiver, to what? Get some minimum wage job and live in a terrible apartment?

Yes. Probably men are fine with this.

Anonymous wrote:Even if your kids are adults and don’t also have to live there with her, do you think this will look good on you?

The adult kids can choose to live with dad. Living in mom's terrible apartment is their choice.

Anonymous wrote:That your kids will forgive you?

Forgive him for what? Not forcing them to live in mom's terrible apartment?

Most men who dump old wives don’t want their kids at their home, or do not parent in any meaningful ways .

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"He should’ve thought about that before letting his d!ck wander."

Huh? News flash: Some women cheat, become alcoholics, or are abusive... just like some men.

Most state laws allow to overturn presumption of 50/50 and avoid alimony in certain cases. He would need to prove she was cheating, alcoholic, not a good mother or spouse. That’s on him

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand what men want here. You want the mother of your children, and likely their primary caregiver, to what? Get some minimum wage job and live in a terrible apartment?
Even if your kids are adults and don’t also have to live there with her, do you think this will look good on you? That your kids will forgive you?

Men only care about the women they’re currently screwing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would she be poor if she's got half of their assets to live off of. She's getting half the house FFS. what we're saying is she doesn't need alimony and isn't entitled to not have to work if he's working and their kids are grown adults.

So, if your dad made $300k/yr, you would have been fine with your dad leaving your mom for his secretary and not paying any alimony, even if she had stayed home with you and your siblings for 20 years? You would want your mom to get a job bagging groceries at Wal-mart, and no part of you would have been even slightly irritated with your dad?

DP I would be disappointed in my mom's financial acumen for not understanding how to use half the assets she received to avoid bagging groceries at Wal-mart.

As an adult child I would be disappointed if my mom was forced out the family home or sell it just to avoid Walmart jobs, while my dad is living in a mansion with much younger new wife

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would she be poor if she's got half of their assets to live off of. She's getting half the house FFS. what we're saying is she doesn't need alimony and isn't entitled to not have to work if he's working and their kids are grown adults.

So, if your dad made $300k/yr, you would have been fine with your dad leaving your mom for his secretary and not paying any alimony, even if she had stayed home with you and your siblings for 20 years? You would want your mom to get a job bagging groceries at Wal-mart, and no part of you would have been even slightly irritated with your dad?

Alimony isn't limited to wealthy executives leaving their wives for secretaries. A teacher making $80k can end up paying alimony too.

Being self-sufficient doesn't require maintaining the exact same lifestyle indefinitely. There's nothing wrong with an apartment once the kids are grown and it's just one person. I love my apartment and don't have to cut the grass every weekend. Don't knock it until you try it, pp.