Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Poor people do not have more options. Most truly poor people are not in the college pipeline.

Additionally, if those "donut hole" families lived like the poor people, rented where they rent, shopped where they shop, etc., they'd have tons of options too. Just saying.

+1

I get that some have special circumstances--medical debt or something unforeseen. But most donut hole families that I know made choices to spend elsewhere. New iPhone every year, 2 Starbucks trips per day, eating lunch out daily, eating half of dinners out, taking really nice vacations, new cars every 3-4 years, etc. Yes those are all "small things" in the grand scheme of savings, but that is just what is visible to me---I'm sure there is much more I don't even see. Someone with a mindset like that is choosing to spend on things when they could choose to save.
We knew our kids would get no aid, so we started saving as soon as they were born. We didn't start living a luxury lifestyle until we could afford it. We paid only 50% of what we could easily afford for our first house and lived there for 7 years. Sure we could afford a newer/nicer home, but we did not need it, this house had 4 bedrooms and 2.5 baths so enough space for a young family---it was relatively speaking much nicer than the apartment we came from. So we lived nicely but not luxuriously and saved the extras. We drove cars for 8-10 years and saved to pay cash for the next ones.
We also choose to not have kids until 30, so that allowed us to consciously save the extra salary and live off of basically one. We aggressively paid off all student loans, invested in our retirement. Other than our honeymoon, I was 35 before I took a "fancy vacation", yet we could have easily afforded to do so at 25/26. But that restraint allowed us to front load saving for college and then we could change our lifestyle as desired.

Same here. Our children can go almost anywhere, but only because we got started saving early and let the savings compound. We never made more than $120K either, but we've always banked at least one income. The irony is that we can now afford to live on one modest income and maintain our lifestyle. Plus, since most of our money is tucked away in retirement accounts and our house is paid off, our EFC is pretty low.

I always think about our situation when people on this board talk about not getting married until you are much older. It's a choice, but you don't get to set your family up nearly as well as if you partnered up earlier in life. However, there is nothing wrong with state schools and lower ranked colleges either.

Exactly. It's all about choices. And of course, nothing wrong with any college. Pick what works for your family, pick what's affordable. But if you choose to have kids before you have paid off your own college debt, it will be harder to save for college and that choice will impact your kid's college choices, just a simple fact of life. Life is about choices, and you get to live with the consequences of your choices as a responsible adult

Right, and if you don't have many or any choices, you are irresponsible. The fact that college costs have far outpaced inflation for decades - increasing by almost 144% in two decades - isn't relevant.

Right?

Obviously that is an issue. And we should work to address that, but given that majority of colleges are private not much can/will be done. However, there ARE affordable options to get an education and that’s the goal. So if you can’t afford on choice search for what you can afford. Not everything in life is fair, but majority of people can afford to get a college degree—just not at a top U for some

The only real affordable options out there for the AVERAGE American (not the "feel poor" DCUMers making $300k per year) is community college or commuting to a state university. Look up average HHIs around the country and tell me how these people are supposed to sock away hundreds of dollars per month for their kid to live on campus at even a state university? And then do that for multiple kids. It's just not reality for most. I'm not saying these are bad options but lets not pretend they're not limited.

I will never cease to be shocked by the clueless posters on here who think people could fully fund college if only they never got Starbucks, got rid of cable, or stop driving BMWs.

Stoping starbucks is not going to fully fund college for you. But The mentality of being frugal will go a long way. And buy a $25K car instead of a $60K car, and yes, you an get along way towards funding college. That's $35K to save. Start that when kid is little and do it with the next car in 8 years, instead of 5 years in between new cars and that's another $35-40K. If both parents do this, that's well over $100K to put towards college. From changing what car you drive---not to mention the insurance will be lower on a $25K vehicle, as well as maintenance. While it will not fully fund college, not driving an BMW will go a LONG WAY towards helping fund college. All for just swapping to a safe reliable decent vehicle instead of luxury. $25-30K will get you a very nice CRV/Accord type vehicle and those will last for 10+ years without many issues. But sure, go ahead buy your $50-60K BMW and complain you can't afford stuff.

And yes, I know people who spend $100/week at Starbucks, add up the family (2 adults and 2-3 kids) and it might be $150/week. That's $600/month. So add that to your $100K+ from car changes and you are saving $6 K more per year (I'll give you the extra $1k as treats/cost of making coffee/drinks at home).

So while you think it's ridiculous, I think the fact people spend $7K+ a year at Starbucks and complain they can't afford college to be ridiculous. Because they have plenty of things to be more frugal with and still live well and have the ability to save.

When I grew up poor/LMC, we ate out 1-2x/month and all other meals were at home. I packed my lunch for school for 12 years, I didn't get to stop at Starbucks (or the 1980's equivalents) with my friends as I did NOT have the money. We did not have cable, my parents got their first color TV in 1995. I had a "car to drive". It came with the privilege of knowing if it was cold morning, the heat/defrost might not work so I would have to pull over 2-3 times on the 6 mile drive to school to scrap my windshield so I could safely see/drive. Also knew how to have friends help me "push the same car" so I could pop the clutch and get it started many times since calling someone to do jump start cost $$.

Yet somehow, my parents still managed to find $5K (about 13% of their pretax income) to contribute towards my college each year and also pay for my books and airfare 2x/school year (to school in Aug, home/back for xmas and back again in May)So overall they managed to come up with ~$7-8K when they made less than $50K. They worked 2nd jobs and lived as frugally as possible and I contributed another $4-5K plus work study and loans each year.

I actually think this is decent advice in general, but some of us are only buying the $25k car (or less!) because that’s what we can afford to begin with, so there bo magical $35k savings from the purchase?

If lots folks are really spending $7k per year on Starbucks, ok fine. I don’t know anyone like that. I probably get coffee out 1-2x per month, and mostly from a local shop, so that’s maybe $100 annually to cut.

Our decisions are a bit more like, do we really need swim lessons during the school year? Does the roof really need to be replaced now?

This. Same position. We maybe get a couple of holiday starbucks in December. One of our cars is over 10 years old and has 200K miles on it. We are in our home that we bought over 20 years ago and never "upgraded." Our expenses are more mundane as the other poster notes. And, no, we are not able to save $50-$80K/year for college. Just because some anonymous person on here thinks I should live in a way that forces to put every cent to college savings doesn't mean I can or should have to.

No one is forcing you to. But it's up to you to figure out how to put your kid thru college. There are plenty of affordable ways. And if you want the 80K/year school, then you had to prepare. Otherwise you should send your kid to where you as a family can afford. There are plenty of choices that are only $30K/year.

Btw, you don't need to save $50-80K/year. If you save since they are little, even $10K/year goes a really long way towards funding college. But if you don't plan and wait until they are teens, their affordable options are less. But there are still many ways to get an education.

Only 10k a year?

We made 100k HH for many years, which paid for a mortgage for a 1400 square foot house in Sterling, and two cars. Kids are in rec sports, no tutoring. We eat out once or twice a month. Our families are overseas, so we did spend around 2k a year on plane tickets.
There were no 10k to save. We now make around 160k, but the house needs repairs and the cars will need to be replaced.
Kids will attend community college and then hopefully transfer overseas.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s insane that our $250K family did not get 1 penny FA for a $60K/year school.

We were also not always $250K family, we were closer to $160/year, then $180K for a few years. Plus the $250 includes one of us having 2 jobs.

My H is a cop and I was a GS-13 most our lives so we could not really save that much.

It's absurd to characterize 250k families as privileged in 2023. After taxes, there is not much left.

Yes, it is. Median household income in the United States is under $71K.[b] It’s no one else’s fault that you *chose* to live in one of the most expensive housing markets in the country.

DCUM’s ideas about income are delusional.

Most people live where they can get jobs and/or close to their family.

And people should choose to live within their means. You know your income and cost of living and you budget and adjust. If you choose to live in an expensive area just to be near family, great. But then it's a choice and you need to adjust accordingly. If your job does not pay enough to live in a HCOL area then actively search and make a plan to move elsewhere. Fact is life is about choices. Majority of Americans live on much less than the DCUM. Some even in HCOL areas. If you choose to live in HCOL area you have to adjust your lifestyle to accommodate and that means getting less "wants" satisfied if you want to be a responsible adult.

Anonymous wrote:Complain about being a donut hole family? When there are thousands of colleges that could work between in state options and merit aid at lower tier privates and other oos public’s?l is it bc ivies and top 25 are not options?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s insane that our $250K family did not get 1 penny FA for a $60K/year school.

We were also not always $250K family, we were closer to $160/year, then $180K for a few years. Plus the $250 includes one of us having 2 jobs.

My H is a cop and I was a GS-13 most our lives so we could not really save that much.

It's absurd to characterize 250k families as privileged in 2023. After taxes, there is not much left.

Yes, it is. Median household income in the United States is under $71K.[b] It’s no one else’s fault that you *chose* to live in one of the most expensive housing markets in the country.

DCUM’s ideas about income are delusional.

Most people live where they can get jobs and/or close to their family.

And people should choose to live within their means. You know your income and cost of living and you budget and adjust. If you choose to live in an expensive area just to be near family, great. But then it's a choice and you need to adjust accordingly. If your job does not pay enough to live in a HCOL area then actively search and make a plan to move elsewhere. Fact is life is about choices. Majority of Americans live on much less than the DCUM. Some even in HCOL areas. If you choose to live in HCOL area you have to adjust your lifestyle to accommodate and that means getting less "wants" satisfied if you want to be a responsible adult.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Poor people do not have more options. Most truly poor people are not in the college pipeline.

Additionally, if those "donut hole" families lived like the poor people, rented where they rent, shopped where they shop, etc., they'd have tons of options too. Just saying.

+1

I get that some have special circumstances--medical debt or something unforeseen. But most donut hole families that I know made choices to spend elsewhere. New iPhone every year, 2 Starbucks trips per day, eating lunch out daily, eating half of dinners out, taking really nice vacations, new cars every 3-4 years, etc. Yes those are all "small things" in the grand scheme of savings, but that is just what is visible to me---I'm sure there is much more I don't even see. Someone with a mindset like that is choosing to spend on things when they could choose to save.
We knew our kids would get no aid, so we started saving as soon as they were born. We didn't start living a luxury lifestyle until we could afford it. We paid only 50% of what we could easily afford for our first house and lived there for 7 years. Sure we could afford a newer/nicer home, but we did not need it, this house had 4 bedrooms and 2.5 baths so enough space for a young family---it was relatively speaking much nicer than the apartment we came from. So we lived nicely but not luxuriously and saved the extras. We drove cars for 8-10 years and saved to pay cash for the next ones.
We also choose to not have kids until 30, so that allowed us to consciously save the extra salary and live off of basically one. We aggressively paid off all student loans, invested in our retirement. Other than our honeymoon, I was 35 before I took a "fancy vacation", yet we could have easily afforded to do so at 25/26. But that restraint allowed us to front load saving for college and then we could change our lifestyle as desired.

Same here. Our children can go almost anywhere, but only because we got started saving early and let the savings compound. We never made more than $120K either, but we've always banked at least one income. The irony is that we can now afford to live on one modest income and maintain our lifestyle. Plus, since most of our money is tucked away in retirement accounts and our house is paid off, our EFC is pretty low.

I always think about our situation when people on this board talk about not getting married until you are much older. It's a choice, but you don't get to set your family up nearly as well as if you partnered up earlier in life. However, there is nothing wrong with state schools and lower ranked colleges either.

Exactly. It's all about choices. And of course, nothing wrong with any college. Pick what works for your family, pick what's affordable. But if you choose to have kids before you have paid off your own college debt, it will be harder to save for college and that choice will impact your kid's college choices, just a simple fact of life. Life is about choices, and you get to live with the consequences of your choices as a responsible adult

Right, and if you don't have many or any choices, you are irresponsible. The fact that college costs have far outpaced inflation for decades - increasing by almost 144% in two decades - isn't relevant.

Right?

Obviously that is an issue. And we should work to address that, but given that majority of colleges are private not much can/will be done. However, there ARE affordable options to get an education and that’s the goal. So if you can’t afford on choice search for what you can afford. Not everything in life is fair, but majority of people can afford to get a college degree—just not at a top U for some

The only real affordable options out there for the AVERAGE American (not the "feel poor" DCUMers making $300k per year) is community college or commuting to a state university. Look up average HHIs around the country and tell me how these people are supposed to sock away hundreds of dollars per month for their kid to live on campus at even a state university? And then do that for multiple kids. It's just not reality for most. I'm not saying these are bad options but lets not pretend they're not limited.

I will never cease to be shocked by the clueless posters on here who think people could fully fund college if only they never got Starbucks, got rid of cable, or stop driving BMWs.

Stoping starbucks is not going to fully fund college for you. But The mentality of being frugal will go a long way. And buy a $25K car instead of a $60K car, and yes, you an get along way towards funding college. That's $35K to save. Start that when kid is little and do it with the next car in 8 years, instead of 5 years in between new cars and that's another $35-40K. If both parents do this, that's well over $100K to put towards college. From changing what car you drive---not to mention the insurance will be lower on a $25K vehicle, as well as maintenance. While it will not fully fund college, not driving an BMW will go a LONG WAY towards helping fund college. All for just swapping to a safe reliable decent vehicle instead of luxury. $25-30K will get you a very nice CRV/Accord type vehicle and those will last for 10+ years without many issues. But sure, go ahead buy your $50-60K BMW and complain you can't afford stuff.

And yes, I know people who spend $100/week at Starbucks, add up the family (2 adults and 2-3 kids) and it might be $150/week. That's $600/month. So add that to your $100K+ from car changes and you are saving $6 K more per year (I'll give you the extra $1k as treats/cost of making coffee/drinks at home).

So while you think it's ridiculous, I think the fact people spend $7K+ a year at Starbucks and complain they can't afford college to be ridiculous. Because they have plenty of things to be more frugal with and still live well and have the ability to save.

When I grew up poor/LMC, we ate out 1-2x/month and all other meals were at home. I packed my lunch for school for 12 years, I didn't get to stop at Starbucks (or the 1980's equivalents) with my friends as I did NOT have the money. We did not have cable, my parents got their first color TV in 1995. I had a "car to drive". It came with the privilege of knowing if it was cold morning, the heat/defrost might not work so I would have to pull over 2-3 times on the 6 mile drive to school to scrap my windshield so I could safely see/drive. Also knew how to have friends help me "push the same car" so I could pop the clutch and get it started many times since calling someone to do jump start cost $$.

Yet somehow, my parents still managed to find $5K (about 13% of their pretax income) to contribute towards my college each year and also pay for my books and airfare 2x/school year (to school in Aug, home/back for xmas and back again in May)So overall they managed to come up with ~$7-8K when they made less than $50K. They worked 2nd jobs and lived as frugally as possible and I contributed another $4-5K plus work study and loans each year.

I actually think this is decent advice in general, but some of us are only buying the $25k car (or less!) because that’s what we can afford to begin with, so there bo magical $35k savings from the purchase?

If lots folks are really spending $7k per year on Starbucks, ok fine. I don’t know anyone like that. I probably get coffee out 1-2x per month, and mostly from a local shop, so that’s maybe $100 annually to cut.

Our decisions are a bit more like, do we really need swim lessons during the school year? Does the roof really need to be replaced now?

This. Same position. We maybe get a couple of holiday starbucks in December. One of our cars is over 10 years old and has 200K miles on it. We are in our home that we bought over 20 years ago and never "upgraded." Our expenses are more mundane as the other poster notes. And, no, we are not able to save $50-$80K/year for college. Just because some anonymous person on here thinks I should live in a way that forces to put every cent to college savings doesn't mean I can or should have to.

No one is forcing you to. But it's up to you to figure out how to put your kid thru college. There are plenty of affordable ways. And if you want the 80K/year school, then you had to prepare. Otherwise you should send your kid to where you as a family can afford. There are plenty of choices that are only $30K/year.

Btw, you don't need to save $50-80K/year. If you save since they are little, even $10K/year goes a really long way towards funding college. But if you don't plan and wait until they are teens, their affordable options are less. But there are still many ways to get an education.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Poor people do not have more options. Most truly poor people are not in the college pipeline.

Additionally, if those "donut hole" families lived like the poor people, rented where they rent, shopped where they shop, etc., they'd have tons of options too. Just saying.

+1

I get that some have special circumstances--medical debt or something unforeseen. But most donut hole families that I know made choices to spend elsewhere. New iPhone every year, 2 Starbucks trips per day, eating lunch out daily, eating half of dinners out, taking really nice vacations, new cars every 3-4 years, etc. Yes those are all "small things" in the grand scheme of savings, but that is just what is visible to me---I'm sure there is much more I don't even see. Someone with a mindset like that is choosing to spend on things when they could choose to save.
We knew our kids would get no aid, so we started saving as soon as they were born. We didn't start living a luxury lifestyle until we could afford it. We paid only 50% of what we could easily afford for our first house and lived there for 7 years. Sure we could afford a newer/nicer home, but we did not need it, this house had 4 bedrooms and 2.5 baths so enough space for a young family---it was relatively speaking much nicer than the apartment we came from. So we lived nicely but not luxuriously and saved the extras. We drove cars for 8-10 years and saved to pay cash for the next ones.
We also choose to not have kids until 30, so that allowed us to consciously save the extra salary and live off of basically one. We aggressively paid off all student loans, invested in our retirement. Other than our honeymoon, I was 35 before I took a "fancy vacation", yet we could have easily afforded to do so at 25/26. But that restraint allowed us to front load saving for college and then we could change our lifestyle as desired.

Same here. Our children can go almost anywhere, but only because we got started saving early and let the savings compound. We never made more than $120K either, but we've always banked at least one income. The irony is that we can now afford to live on one modest income and maintain our lifestyle. Plus, since most of our money is tucked away in retirement accounts and our house is paid off, our EFC is pretty low.

I always think about our situation when people on this board talk about not getting married until you are much older. It's a choice, but you don't get to set your family up nearly as well as if you partnered up earlier in life. However, there is nothing wrong with state schools and lower ranked colleges either.

Exactly. It's all about choices. And of course, nothing wrong with any college. Pick what works for your family, pick what's affordable. But if you choose to have kids before you have paid off your own college debt, it will be harder to save for college and that choice will impact your kid's college choices, just a simple fact of life. Life is about choices, and you get to live with the consequences of your choices as a responsible adult

Right, and if you don't have many or any choices, you are irresponsible. The fact that college costs have far outpaced inflation for decades - increasing by almost 144% in two decades - isn't relevant.

Right?

Obviously that is an issue. And we should work to address that, but given that majority of colleges are private not much can/will be done. However, there ARE affordable options to get an education and that’s the goal. So if you can’t afford on choice search for what you can afford. Not everything in life is fair, but majority of people can afford to get a college degree—just not at a top U for some

The only real affordable options out there for the AVERAGE American (not the "feel poor" DCUMers making $300k per year) is community college or commuting to a state university. Look up average HHIs around the country and tell me how these people are supposed to sock away hundreds of dollars per month for their kid to live on campus at even a state university? And then do that for multiple kids. It's just not reality for most. I'm not saying these are bad options but lets not pretend they're not limited.

I will never cease to be shocked by the clueless posters on here who think people could fully fund college if only they never got Starbucks, got rid of cable, or stop driving BMWs.

Stoping starbucks is not going to fully fund college for you. But The mentality of being frugal will go a long way. And buy a $25K car instead of a $60K car, and yes, you an get along way towards funding college. That's $35K to save. Start that when kid is little and do it with the next car in 8 years, instead of 5 years in between new cars and that's another $35-40K. If both parents do this, that's well over $100K to put towards college. From changing what car you drive---not to mention the insurance will be lower on a $25K vehicle, as well as maintenance. While it will not fully fund college, not driving an BMW will go a LONG WAY towards helping fund college. All for just swapping to a safe reliable decent vehicle instead of luxury. $25-30K will get you a very nice CRV/Accord type vehicle and those will last for 10+ years without many issues. But sure, go ahead buy your $50-60K BMW and complain you can't afford stuff.

And yes, I know people who spend $100/week at Starbucks, add up the family (2 adults and 2-3 kids) and it might be $150/week. That's $600/month. So add that to your $100K+ from car changes and you are saving $6 K more per year (I'll give you the extra $1k as treats/cost of making coffee/drinks at home).

So while you think it's ridiculous, I think the fact people spend $7K+ a year at Starbucks and complain they can't afford college to be ridiculous. Because they have plenty of things to be more frugal with and still live well and have the ability to save.

When I grew up poor/LMC, we ate out 1-2x/month and all other meals were at home. I packed my lunch for school for 12 years, I didn't get to stop at Starbucks (or the 1980's equivalents) with my friends as I did NOT have the money. We did not have cable, my parents got their first color TV in 1995. I had a "car to drive". It came with the privilege of knowing if it was cold morning, the heat/defrost might not work so I would have to pull over 2-3 times on the 6 mile drive to school to scrap my windshield so I could safely see/drive. Also knew how to have friends help me "push the same car" so I could pop the clutch and get it started many times since calling someone to do jump start cost $$.

Yet somehow, my parents still managed to find $5K (about 13% of their pretax income) to contribute towards my college each year and also pay for my books and airfare 2x/school year (to school in Aug, home/back for xmas and back again in May)So overall they managed to come up with ~$7-8K when they made less than $50K. They worked 2nd jobs and lived as frugally as possible and I contributed another $4-5K plus work study and loans each year.

I actually think this is decent advice in general, but some of us are only buying the $25k car (or less!) because that’s what we can afford to begin with, so there bo magical $35k savings from the purchase?

If lots folks are really spending $7k per year on Starbucks, ok fine. I don’t know anyone like that. I probably get coffee out 1-2x per month, and mostly from a local shop, so that’s maybe $100 annually to cut.

Our decisions are a bit more like, do we really need swim lessons during the school year? Does the roof really need to be replaced now?

This. Same position. We maybe get a couple of holiday starbucks in December. One of our cars is over 10 years old and has 200K miles on it. We are in our home that we bought over 20 years ago and never "upgraded." Our expenses are more mundane as the other poster notes. And, no, we are not able to save $50-$80K/year for college. Just because some anonymous person on here thinks I should live in a way that forces to put every cent to college savings doesn't mean I can or should have to.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Poor people do not have more options. Most truly poor people are not in the college pipeline.

Additionally, if those "donut hole" families lived like the poor people, rented where they rent, shopped where they shop, etc., they'd have tons of options too. Just saying.

+1

I get that some have special circumstances--medical debt or something unforeseen. But most donut hole families that I know made choices to spend elsewhere. New iPhone every year, 2 Starbucks trips per day, eating lunch out daily, eating half of dinners out, taking really nice vacations, new cars every 3-4 years, etc. Yes those are all "small things" in the grand scheme of savings, but that is just what is visible to me---I'm sure there is much more I don't even see. Someone with a mindset like that is choosing to spend on things when they could choose to save.
We knew our kids would get no aid, so we started saving as soon as they were born. We didn't start living a luxury lifestyle until we could afford it. We paid only 50% of what we could easily afford for our first house and lived there for 7 years. Sure we could afford a newer/nicer home, but we did not need it, this house had 4 bedrooms and 2.5 baths so enough space for a young family---it was relatively speaking much nicer than the apartment we came from. So we lived nicely but not luxuriously and saved the extras. We drove cars for 8-10 years and saved to pay cash for the next ones.
We also choose to not have kids until 30, so that allowed us to consciously save the extra salary and live off of basically one. We aggressively paid off all student loans, invested in our retirement. Other than our honeymoon, I was 35 before I took a "fancy vacation", yet we could have easily afforded to do so at 25/26. But that restraint allowed us to front load saving for college and then we could change our lifestyle as desired.

Same here. Our children can go almost anywhere, but only because we got started saving early and let the savings compound. We never made more than $120K either, but we've always banked at least one income. The irony is that we can now afford to live on one modest income and maintain our lifestyle. Plus, since most of our money is tucked away in retirement accounts and our house is paid off, our EFC is pretty low.

I always think about our situation when people on this board talk about not getting married until you are much older. It's a choice, but you don't get to set your family up nearly as well as if you partnered up earlier in life. However, there is nothing wrong with state schools and lower ranked colleges either.

Exactly. It's all about choices. And of course, nothing wrong with any college. Pick what works for your family, pick what's affordable. But if you choose to have kids before you have paid off your own college debt, it will be harder to save for college and that choice will impact your kid's college choices, just a simple fact of life. Life is about choices, and you get to live with the consequences of your choices as a responsible adult

Right, and if you don't have many or any choices, you are irresponsible. The fact that college costs have far outpaced inflation for decades - increasing by almost 144% in two decades - isn't relevant.

Right?

Obviously that is an issue. And we should work to address that, but given that majority of colleges are private not much can/will be done. However, there ARE affordable options to get an education and that’s the goal. So if you can’t afford on choice search for what you can afford. Not everything in life is fair, but majority of people can afford to get a college degree—just not at a top U for some

The only real affordable options out there for the AVERAGE American (not the "feel poor" DCUMers making $300k per year) is community college or commuting to a state university. Look up average HHIs around the country and tell me how these people are supposed to sock away hundreds of dollars per month for their kid to live on campus at even a state university? And then do that for multiple kids. It's just not reality for most. I'm not saying these are bad options but lets not pretend they're not limited.

I will never cease to be shocked by the clueless posters on here who think people could fully fund college if only they never got Starbucks, got rid of cable, or stop driving BMWs.

Stoping starbucks is not going to fully fund college for you. But The mentality of being frugal will go a long way. And buy a $25K car instead of a $60K car, and yes, you an get along way towards funding college. That's $35K to save. Start that when kid is little and do it with the next car in 8 years, instead of 5 years in between new cars and that's another $35-40K. If both parents do this, that's well over $100K to put towards college. From changing what car you drive---not to mention the insurance will be lower on a $25K vehicle, as well as maintenance. While it will not fully fund college, not driving an BMW will go a LONG WAY towards helping fund college. All for just swapping to a safe reliable decent vehicle instead of luxury. $25-30K will get you a very nice CRV/Accord type vehicle and those will last for 10+ years without many issues. But sure, go ahead buy your $50-60K BMW and complain you can't afford stuff.

And yes, I know people who spend $100/week at Starbucks, add up the family (2 adults and 2-3 kids) and it might be $150/week. That's $600/month. So add that to your $100K+ from car changes and you are saving $6 K more per year (I'll give you the extra $1k as treats/cost of making coffee/drinks at home).

So while you think it's ridiculous, I think the fact people spend $7K+ a year at Starbucks and complain they can't afford college to be ridiculous. Because they have plenty of things to be more frugal with and still live well and have the ability to save.

When I grew up poor/LMC, we ate out 1-2x/month and all other meals were at home. I packed my lunch for school for 12 years, I didn't get to stop at Starbucks (or the 1980's equivalents) with my friends as I did NOT have the money. We did not have cable, my parents got their first color TV in 1995. I had a "car to drive". It came with the privilege of knowing if it was cold morning, the heat/defrost might not work so I would have to pull over 2-3 times on the 6 mile drive to school to scrap my windshield so I could safely see/drive. Also knew how to have friends help me "push the same car" so I could pop the clutch and get it started many times since calling someone to do jump start cost $$.

Yet somehow, my parents still managed to find $5K (about 13% of their pretax income) to contribute towards my college each year and also pay for my books and airfare 2x/school year (to school in Aug, home/back for xmas and back again in May)So overall they managed to come up with ~$7-8K when they made less than $50K. They worked 2nd jobs and lived as frugally as possible and I contributed another $4-5K plus work study and loans each year.

I actually think this is decent advice in general, but some of us are only buying the $25k car (or less!) because that’s what we can afford to begin with, so there bo magical $35k savings from the purchase?

If lots folks are really spending $7k per year on Starbucks, ok fine. I don’t know anyone like that. I probably get coffee out 1-2x per month, and mostly from a local shop, so that’s maybe $100 annually to cut.

Our decisions are a bit more like, do we really need swim lessons during the school year? Does the roof really need to be replaced now?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I missed someone else posting this, but it is about to get WORSE for donut hole families who have two kids close in age! Quietly how financial aid is calculated for people who have two kids in college has changed. Instead of factoring in having to pay tuition for multiple kids now financial aid is no calculating this.

By this it used to be that let's say you earn 150000 and the EFC says you can contribute 60,000. It used to be that if you had two kids then you paid 30K per kid. Or if you had three kids in college you were expected to contribute 20K per year. Now you are expected to contribute 60K no matter how many other college tuitions you are paying. So if you have two kids you would pay 120,000 which is ridiculous for a family making 150,000.

You should consider that when you decide the number of kids you have. Life is about choices. Saving is a choice, the house and expenses you have are choices, and the number of kids you have are choices.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s insane that our $250K family did not get 1 penny FA for a $60K/year school.

We were also not always $250K family, we were closer to $160/year, then $180K for a few years. Plus the $250 includes one of us having 2 jobs.

My H is a cop and I was a GS-13 most our lives so we could not really save that much.

It's absurd to characterize 250k families as privileged in 2023. After taxes, there is not much left.

Yes, it is. Median household income in the United States is under $71K.[b] It’s no one else’s fault that you *chose* to live in one of the most expensive housing markets in the country.

DCUM’s ideas about income are delusional.

Most people live where they can get jobs and/or close to their family.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Poor people do not have more options. Most truly poor people are not in the college pipeline.

Additionally, if those "donut hole" families lived like the poor people, rented where they rent, shopped where they shop, etc., they'd have tons of options too. Just saying.

+1

I get that some have special circumstances--medical debt or something unforeseen. But most donut hole families that I know made choices to spend elsewhere. New iPhone every year, 2 Starbucks trips per day, eating lunch out daily, eating half of dinners out, taking really nice vacations, new cars every 3-4 years, etc. Yes those are all "small things" in the grand scheme of savings, but that is just what is visible to me---I'm sure there is much more I don't even see. Someone with a mindset like that is choosing to spend on things when they could choose to save.
We knew our kids would get no aid, so we started saving as soon as they were born. We didn't start living a luxury lifestyle until we could afford it. We paid only 50% of what we could easily afford for our first house and lived there for 7 years. Sure we could afford a newer/nicer home, but we did not need it, this house had 4 bedrooms and 2.5 baths so enough space for a young family---it was relatively speaking much nicer than the apartment we came from. So we lived nicely but not luxuriously and saved the extras. We drove cars for 8-10 years and saved to pay cash for the next ones.
We also choose to not have kids until 30, so that allowed us to consciously save the extra salary and live off of basically one. We aggressively paid off all student loans, invested in our retirement. Other than our honeymoon, I was 35 before I took a "fancy vacation", yet we could have easily afforded to do so at 25/26. But that restraint allowed us to front load saving for college and then we could change our lifestyle as desired.

Same here. Our children can go almost anywhere, but only because we got started saving early and let the savings compound. We never made more than $120K either, but we've always banked at least one income. The irony is that we can now afford to live on one modest income and maintain our lifestyle. Plus, since most of our money is tucked away in retirement accounts and our house is paid off, our EFC is pretty low.

I always think about our situation when people on this board talk about not getting married until you are much older. It's a choice, but you don't get to set your family up nearly as well as if you partnered up earlier in life. However, there is nothing wrong with state schools and lower ranked colleges either.

Exactly. It's all about choices. And of course, nothing wrong with any college. Pick what works for your family, pick what's affordable. But if you choose to have kids before you have paid off your own college debt, it will be harder to save for college and that choice will impact your kid's college choices, just a simple fact of life. Life is about choices, and you get to live with the consequences of your choices as a responsible adult

Right, and if you don't have many or any choices, you are irresponsible. The fact that college costs have far outpaced inflation for decades - increasing by almost 144% in two decades - isn't relevant.

Right?

Obviously that is an issue. And we should work to address that, but given that majority of colleges are private not much can/will be done. However, there ARE affordable options to get an education and that’s the goal. So if you can’t afford on choice search for what you can afford. Not everything in life is fair, but majority of people can afford to get a college degree—just not at a top U for some

The only real affordable options out there for the AVERAGE American (not the "feel poor" DCUMers making $300k per year) is community college or commuting to a state university. Look up average HHIs around the country and tell me how these people are supposed to sock away hundreds of dollars per month for their kid to live on campus at even a state university? And then do that for multiple kids. It's just not reality for most. I'm not saying these are bad options but lets not pretend they're not limited.

I will never cease to be shocked by the clueless posters on here who think people could fully fund college if only they never got Starbucks, got rid of cable, or stop driving BMWs.

Stoping starbucks is not going to fully fund college for you. But The mentality of being frugal will go a long way. And buy a $25K car instead of a $60K car, and yes, you an get along way towards funding college. That's $35K to save. Start that when kid is little and do it with the next car in 8 years, instead of 5 years in between new cars and that's another $35-40K. If both parents do this, that's well over $100K to put towards college. From changing what car you drive---not to mention the insurance will be lower on a $25K vehicle, as well as maintenance. While it will not fully fund college, not driving an BMW will go a LONG WAY towards helping fund college. All for just swapping to a safe reliable decent vehicle instead of luxury. $25-30K will get you a very nice CRV/Accord type vehicle and those will last for 10+ years without many issues. But sure, go ahead buy your $50-60K BMW and complain you can't afford stuff.

And yes, I know people who spend $100/week at Starbucks, add up the family (2 adults and 2-3 kids) and it might be $150/week. That's $600/month. So add that to your $100K+ from car changes and you are saving $6 K more per year (I'll give you the extra $1k as treats/cost of making coffee/drinks at home).

So while you think it's ridiculous, I think the fact people spend $7K+ a year at Starbucks and complain they can't afford college to be ridiculous. Because they have plenty of things to be more frugal with and still live well and have the ability to save.

When I grew up poor/LMC, we ate out 1-2x/month and all other meals were at home. I packed my lunch for school for 12 years, I didn't get to stop at Starbucks (or the 1980's equivalents) with my friends as I did NOT have the money. We did not have cable, my parents got their first color TV in 1995. I had a "car to drive". It came with the privilege of knowing if it was cold morning, the heat/defrost might not work so I would have to pull over 2-3 times on the 6 mile drive to school to scrap my windshield so I could safely see/drive. Also knew how to have friends help me "push the same car" so I could pop the clutch and get it started many times since calling someone to do jump start cost $$.

Yet somehow, my parents still managed to find $5K (about 13% of their pretax income) to contribute towards my college each year and also pay for my books and airfare 2x/school year (to school in Aug, home/back for xmas and back again in May)So overall they managed to come up with ~$7-8K when they made less than $50K. They worked 2nd jobs and lived as frugally as possible and I contributed another $4-5K plus work study and loans each year.

Honestly THIS. Spending all the money on ‘I gotta have it’ items like sbux, hair and nails, a newer car, upgrading the house, a splurge vacation, all of that easily adds up to 15K per year. If it were invested for even 10 years, with compound interest that’s enough for private school. Rinse repeat for kid number 2.

Right! When most of us mention "spending at Starbucks" we are talking about people that actually have extra income to save. I'm not referring to the person already driving a 10yo Honda Accord who may not be able to save. I have empathy for them. But if they are also spending $100/month on Starbucks (a want not a Need), then yes, they could be saving that for college as well. It's a choice they are making and choices have consequences.

Yes college costs too much. But there are ways to do it affordably for most, it just may not be the Elite T20 schools.

NP. Yeah, I spend like $5 every other month at Starbucks. I can't afford that lifestyle! We also have saved rigorously for our 2 kids, and at under 150k HHI, will qualify for FA at some schools. Multi-prong strategy!

Anonymous wrote:Yeah. I don’t get any money on the college calculator. We are career feds. No Starbucks. No hair and nails (other than a $59 cut 3x a year). Cars are over 10 years old. No fancy vacas. I think it’s crazy that anyone expects us to be able to pay $80,000/year for college. I’m not begrudging the aid for those who make less. And I do have the option of working til I’m 75 to pay it off (that someone with less money doesn’t have). But boy, the list price is nuts. My parents were able to pay for the priciest private college on modest MC salaries without aid and not be in debt forever. I can’t.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Poor people do not have more options. Most truly poor people are not in the college pipeline.

Additionally, if those "donut hole" families lived like the poor people, rented where they rent, shopped where they shop, etc., they'd have tons of options too. Just saying.

+1

I get that some have special circumstances--medical debt or something unforeseen. But most donut hole families that I know made choices to spend elsewhere. New iPhone every year, 2 Starbucks trips per day, eating lunch out daily, eating half of dinners out, taking really nice vacations, new cars every 3-4 years, etc. Yes those are all "small things" in the grand scheme of savings, but that is just what is visible to me---I'm sure there is much more I don't even see. Someone with a mindset like that is choosing to spend on things when they could choose to save.
We knew our kids would get no aid, so we started saving as soon as they were born. We didn't start living a luxury lifestyle until we could afford it. We paid only 50% of what we could easily afford for our first house and lived there for 7 years. Sure we could afford a newer/nicer home, but we did not need it, this house had 4 bedrooms and 2.5 baths so enough space for a young family---it was relatively speaking much nicer than the apartment we came from. So we lived nicely but not luxuriously and saved the extras. We drove cars for 8-10 years and saved to pay cash for the next ones.
We also choose to not have kids until 30, so that allowed us to consciously save the extra salary and live off of basically one. We aggressively paid off all student loans, invested in our retirement. Other than our honeymoon, I was 35 before I took a "fancy vacation", yet we could have easily afforded to do so at 25/26. But that restraint allowed us to front load saving for college and then we could change our lifestyle as desired.

Same here. Our children can go almost anywhere, but only because we got started saving early and let the savings compound. We never made more than $120K either, but we've always banked at least one income. The irony is that we can now afford to live on one modest income and maintain our lifestyle. Plus, since most of our money is tucked away in retirement accounts and our house is paid off, our EFC is pretty low.

I always think about our situation when people on this board talk about not getting married until you are much older. It's a choice, but you don't get to set your family up nearly as well as if you partnered up earlier in life. However, there is nothing wrong with state schools and lower ranked colleges either.

Exactly. It's all about choices. And of course, nothing wrong with any college. Pick what works for your family, pick what's affordable. But if you choose to have kids before you have paid off your own college debt, it will be harder to save for college and that choice will impact your kid's college choices, just a simple fact of life. Life is about choices, and you get to live with the consequences of your choices as a responsible adult

Right, and if you don't have many or any choices, you are irresponsible. The fact that college costs have far outpaced inflation for decades - increasing by almost 144% in two decades - isn't relevant.

Right?

Obviously that is an issue. And we should work to address that, but given that majority of colleges are private not much can/will be done. However, there ARE affordable options to get an education and that’s the goal. So if you can’t afford on choice search for what you can afford. Not everything in life is fair, but majority of people can afford to get a college degree—just not at a top U for some

The only real affordable options out there for the AVERAGE American (not the "feel poor" DCUMers making $300k per year) is community college or commuting to a state university. Look up average HHIs around the country and tell me how these people are supposed to sock away hundreds of dollars per month for their kid to live on campus at even a state university? And then do that for multiple kids. It's just not reality for most. I'm not saying these are bad options but lets not pretend they're not limited.

I will never cease to be shocked by the clueless posters on here who think people could fully fund college if only they never got Starbucks, got rid of cable, or stop driving BMWs.

Stoping starbucks is not going to fully fund college for you. But The mentality of being frugal will go a long way. And buy a $25K car instead of a $60K car, and yes, you an get along way towards funding college. That's $35K to save. Start that when kid is little and do it with the next car in 8 years, instead of 5 years in between new cars and that's another $35-40K. If both parents do this, that's well over $100K to put towards college. From changing what car you drive---not to mention the insurance will be lower on a $25K vehicle, as well as maintenance. While it will not fully fund college, not driving an BMW will go a LONG WAY towards helping fund college. All for just swapping to a safe reliable decent vehicle instead of luxury. $25-30K will get you a very nice CRV/Accord type vehicle and those will last for 10+ years without many issues. But sure, go ahead buy your $50-60K BMW and complain you can't afford stuff.

And yes, I know people who spend $100/week at Starbucks, add up the family (2 adults and 2-3 kids) and it might be $150/week. That's $600/month. So add that to your $100K+ from car changes and you are saving $6 K more per year (I'll give you the extra $1k as treats/cost of making coffee/drinks at home).

So while you think it's ridiculous, I think the fact people spend $7K+ a year at Starbucks and complain they can't afford college to be ridiculous. Because they have plenty of things to be more frugal with and still live well and have the ability to save.

When I grew up poor/LMC, we ate out 1-2x/month and all other meals were at home. I packed my lunch for school for 12 years, I didn't get to stop at Starbucks (or the 1980's equivalents) with my friends as I did NOT have the money. We did not have cable, my parents got their first color TV in 1995. I had a "car to drive". It came with the privilege of knowing if it was cold morning, the heat/defrost might not work so I would have to pull over 2-3 times on the 6 mile drive to school to scrap my windshield so I could safely see/drive. Also knew how to have friends help me "push the same car" so I could pop the clutch and get it started many times since calling someone to do jump start cost $$.

Yet somehow, my parents still managed to find $5K (about 13% of their pretax income) to contribute towards my college each year and also pay for my books and airfare 2x/school year (to school in Aug, home/back for xmas and back again in May)So overall they managed to come up with ~$7-8K when they made less than $50K. They worked 2nd jobs and lived as frugally as possible and I contributed another $4-5K plus work study and loans each year.

I actually think this is decent advice in general, but some of us are only buying the $25k car (or less!) because that’s what we can afford to begin with, so there bo magical $35k savings from the purchase?

If lots folks are really spending $7k per year on Starbucks, ok fine. I don’t know anyone like that. I probably get coffee out 1-2x per month, and mostly from a local shop, so that’s maybe $100 annually to cut.

Our decisions are a bit more like, do we really need swim lessons during the school year? Does the roof really need to be replaced now?

This. Same position. We maybe get a couple of holiday starbucks in December. One of our cars is over 10 years old and has 200K miles on it. We are in our home that we bought over 20 years ago and never "upgraded." Our expenses are more mundane as the other poster notes. And, no, we are not able to save $50-$80K/year for college. Just because some anonymous person on here thinks I should live in a way that forces to put every cent to college savings doesn't mean I can or should have to.

A lot of the replies here seem to be UMC/wealthy folks disparaging people who have different life circumstances and make less money. All it's all about "choices" for them. We are like you--and I bet most "donut hole" families are in the same boat. We drive old cars, have a modest home, definitely no fancy vacations. And no we are not looking to have our kids go to fancy private colleges. In-state for us. It's like the boomers who tell people to stop drinking lattes to afford XYZ. Instead of looking at stagnant wages, skyrocketing college costs, inflation....no let's make assumptions about everyone's spending habits. And the oh just move to LCOL area is so tone deaf. If only rich people live in HCOL areas-who is going to mown your lawn? educate your kids? be your admin assistant? take care of your family in the hospital?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s insane that our $250K family did not get 1 penny FA for a $60K/year school.

We were also not always $250K family, we were closer to $160/year, then $180K for a few years. Plus the $250 includes one of us having 2 jobs.

My H is a cop and I was a GS-13 most our lives so we could not really save that much.

It's absurd to characterize 250k families as privileged in 2023. After taxes, there is not much left.

Yes, it is. Median household income in the United States is under $71K.[b] It’s no one else’s fault that you *chose* to live in one of the most expensive housing markets in the country.

DCUM’s ideas about income are delusional.

Most people live where they can get jobs and/or close to their family.

NYC is not the only place to get jobs. And not everyone gets to continue to live close to family in an insanely expensive area just because they super duper want to.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s insane that our $250K family did not get 1 penny FA for a $60K/year school.

We were also not always $250K family, we were closer to $160/year, then $180K for a few years. Plus the $250 includes one of us having 2 jobs.

My H is a cop and I was a GS-13 most our lives so we could not really save that much.

It's absurd to characterize 250k families as privileged in 2023. After taxes, there is not much left.

Yes, it is. Median household income in the United States is under $71K.[b] It’s no one else’s fault that you *chose* to live in one of the most expensive housing markets in the country.

DCUM’s ideas about income are delusional.

Most people live where they can get jobs and/or close to their family.

NYC is not the only place to get jobs. And not everyone gets to continue to live close to family in an insanely expensive area just because they super duper want to.