I spent yesterday in the ER. Mom to 4 (3 teens) and DH. Usually Christmas Eve is the big day. Huge dinner. I bought all groceries already. I send my husband home while I’m in the ER. They want to admit me for pain management and to see a specialist Monday. I choose discharge to see my family. Come home to a filthy house at 8pm and my husband trying to cook the prime rib. I barely salvage the meal that I don’t eat. Teens all on couches on phones. Managed to have Santa arrive. Teens are all now sitting among mess with their $$$ presents, and the house is still a mess. My DH just came in asking why I need to rest. Maybe I should have chosen hospital admission….

Oh that's awful. I hope you are feeling better and that the specialist can help. You really need to sit down and have a family meeting. I've been in a similar situation and I had to sit everyone down, calmly, and tell them that 1) I need help 2) this is what they need to do and 3) I am disappointed in them

Sometimes we are taken for granted because we do everything for everyone so quietly and seamlessly. Make some noise and take some time for yourself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not spending the holidays this year with my large, very loud, and very argumentative family (that I love but drive me crazy) this year due to DH work conflicts, and was really looking forward to a nice chill nuclear family Christmas with my DH and teens but all my siblings are calling and texting me incessantly to share THEIR petty vents about the other siblings, their spouses, and our parents. So I’m getting second hand drama from 2000 miles away when all I want to do is watch tv and drink cocoa in peace.

I don’t know if your phone works the same way mine does, but I have to press the green button to talk to people who call. Like if I’m in the middle of my Law & Order marathon of shows that I can practically recite by heart, I just don’t hit that button. Then I call back later, if I want. Try it. See if it works on your phone that way.

This is peak snark. Love it. PP with the uncreative advice, "stay home" this is how it's done.

Nope. Predictable, not creative, not funny. Welcome to the Everybody Loves Raymond fan club.

You’ve been outvoted every time. It’s funny and pure DCUM snark. Go play with your electric mixer that your kids bought you and have a totes awesome holiday. 😘

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whatever, either it will be done “right” and “on time” or not—it will be done when it’s done, and we’ll eat when we’ll eat. But she’s basically ruined gift opening by saying shouldn’t we have an (unstuffed, not that big) turkey in the oven now now now right now even though it will only take 3-4 hours.

One word for you: spatchcock. It takes 90 minutes. And yes, I realize we're not supposed to give advice on this thread, but as a one-time first-timer for turkey, spatchcocking saved my sanity. (Cooking the whole bird is just torture - the breast dries into sawdust before the legs are halfway cooked!)

One word for you: DH. I have made at least a dozen turkeys over the years, and it is his turn. He has access to Google, the Butterball hotline, and DCUM if he wants advice. My feet are up. He can manage one turkey in his life. Or not. And my whole birds are never dry, never had a problem with them.

I clink my glass to you! And hope the poor ER visitor PP's kids and husband get a similar division of labor!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whatever, either it will be done “right” and “on time” or not—it will be done when it’s done, and we’ll eat when we’ll eat. But she’s basically ruined gift opening by saying shouldn’t we have an (unstuffed, not that big) turkey in the oven now now now right now even though it will only take 3-4 hours.

One word for you: spatchcock. It takes 90 minutes. And yes, I realize we're not supposed to give advice on this thread, but as a one-time first-timer for turkey, spatchcocking saved my sanity. (Cooking the whole bird is just torture - the breast dries into sawdust before the legs are halfway cooked!)

One word for you: DH. I have made at least a dozen turkeys over the years, and it is his turn. He has access to Google, the Butterball hotline, and DCUM if he wants advice. My feet are up. He can manage one turkey in his life. Or not. And my whole birds are never dry, never had a problem with them.

Yesterday was very busy with an extended family gathering, and church. We served chili for an early dinner, same as every Christmas Eve. Then it was go to church, come home and have cookies (and cheese/crackers if anyone was hungry), then kids needed to shower and get to bed. We needed about 10 extra minutes to read “‘Twas the Night Before Christmas,” and five more to set out cookies for Santa, so it’s already a bit later bedtime than usual.

With all this rushing around—knowing that DH and I also needed to finish cleaning the stockings, and set up stockings and Santa gifts after kids were in bed—MIL is whining that we didn’t serve coffee with dessert. (Never mind that today, Christmas, is the day when we do the nice Christmas dinner and do coffee with dessert, even though she and FIL are the only ones out of a dozen people who drink it.)

I told her repeatedly to help herself to coffee, we have a French press (exactly like the one she has at home), and a standard drip machine (that she knows how to operate, given that she’s stayed overnight to watch our kids for one weekend). She kept whining and finally DH snapped, “You know mom, you could at least make yourself coffee if you want it. We’re busy.” She’s been pouting all day.

I spent yesterday in the ER. Mom to 4 (3 teens) and DH. Usually Christmas Eve is the big day. Huge dinner. I bought all groceries already. I send my husband home while I’m in the ER. They want to admit me for pain management and to see a specialist Monday. I choose discharge to see my family. Come home to a filthy house at 8pm and my husband trying to cook the prime rib. I barely salvage the meal that I don’t eat. Teens all on couches on phones. Managed to have Santa arrive. Teens are all now sitting among mess with their $$$ presents, and the house is still a mess. My DH just came in asking why I need to rest. Maybe I should have chosen hospital admission….

Anonymous wrote:Whatever, either it will be done “right” and “on time” or not—it will be done when it’s done, and we’ll eat when we’ll eat. But she’s basically ruined gift opening by saying shouldn’t we have an (unstuffed, not that big) turkey in the oven now now now right now even though it will only take 3-4 hours.

One word for you: spatchcock. It takes 90 minutes. And yes, I realize we're not supposed to give advice on this thread, but as a one-time first-timer for turkey, spatchcocking saved my sanity. (Cooking the whole bird is just torture - the breast dries into sawdust before the legs are halfway cooked!)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not spending the holidays this year with my large, very loud, and very argumentative family (that I love but drive me crazy) this year due to DH work conflicts, and was really looking forward to a nice chill nuclear family Christmas with my DH and teens but all my siblings are calling and texting me incessantly to share THEIR petty vents about the other siblings, their spouses, and our parents. So I’m getting second hand drama from 2000 miles away when all I want to do is watch tv and drink cocoa in peace.

I don’t know if your phone works the same way mine does, but I have to press the green button to talk to people who call. Like if I’m in the middle of my Law & Order marathon of shows that I can practically recite by heart, I just don’t hit that button. Then I call back later, if I want. Try it. See if it works on your phone that way.

This is peak snark. Love it. PP with the uncreative advice, "stay home" this is how it's done.

Nope. Predictable, not creative, not funny. Welcome to the Everybody Loves Raymond fan club.

My parents were supposed to fly in but got sick so decided not to come. So instead I got ready for a quiet Christmas with just my husband and toddler. Didn’t make breakfast, no coffee (we don’t drink it), house is a mess, etc. but since no one was coming it was fine! Toddler opened presents and crap was everywhere. My brother in law texted this morning if he and his fiancée could stop by just to drop off a gift for our toddler. We see them a lot and they were just stopping by for a sec so I didn’t get anything ready (besides not cleaning up or making food/coffee, I’m 6 months pregnant, feel like crap, didn’t even have a bra on). Well they show up with the fiancée’s mother, without telling me she was coming and who I have never met before. They stay for hours. I don’t care that she came or that they stayed for so long but why not tell us so we can at least prepare a little?!?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not spending the holidays this year with my large, very loud, and very argumentative family (that I love but drive me crazy) this year due to DH work conflicts, and was really looking forward to a nice chill nuclear family Christmas with my DH and teens but all my siblings are calling and texting me incessantly to share THEIR petty vents about the other siblings, their spouses, and our parents. So I’m getting second hand drama from 2000 miles away when all I want to do is watch tv and drink cocoa in peace.

I don’t know if your phone works the same way mine does, but I have to press the green button to talk to people who call. Like if I’m in the middle of my Law & Order marathon of shows that I can practically recite by heart, I just don’t hit that button. Then I call back later, if I want. Try it. See if it works on your phone that way.

This is peak snark. Love it. PP with the uncreative advice, "stay home" this is how it's done.

My husband doesn’t seem to remember that getting cash or a gift card was awesome as a teenager. The gift of being able to shop was great.

Nephew is a musician. I said we should get him a gift card to the music store he likes so he can pick out music or accessories for his guitar. Nope. Husband picks out music books and records for the music we like, saying nephew will be cool at school if he knows classics.

I’m going to slip the kid some cash.

Anonymous wrote:We drove 12 hours to my parents house for Christmas. Our oldest dd will not be spending Christmas with us because she is doing an international trip with her college. But awesome dd that she is mailed gifts to my parents house. She addressed them to me. We have done this for 20 years so that we could save space in the car. My parents know not to open these packages and never have. Until this year. This year my mom opened the boxes. Then she calls to let me know she did so and apologized for ruining the suprise because she saw the x, y and z we got her for Christmas. I told her none of the gifts were for her. She argued with me and claims they are obviously for her. Who else could they be for!! ME. They were for me. From my daughter. Addressed to ME! We have gifts for her. Lots of them. It is going to be a long 5 days.

What a lovely daughter you raised!

Anonymous wrote:Don’t pester people to make a gift list if you aren’t going to get them anything off it!

I could have bought some of the things on sale on Black Friday, but held off thinking my mother was going to get them.

..

Alternatively, if you're really scraping the barrel or thinking of buying consumables for a person with dietary restrictions, ASK.

Anonymous wrote:My in-laws keep parking in my driveway. We have absolutely no parking issues on our street. Plenty of spots yet they choose the driveway. Directly under my son’s basketball hoop.

Do we have the same parents? My parents continue to do this even after DH backed into their car

Anonymous wrote:Here’s another food one.

Whenever we’re with my ILs, they make way, way too many desserts. It’s a small group: my family of four, two ILs, and DH’s cousin. They bring the biggest cookie tray you’ve ever seen, a separate tray of just gingerbread cookies, and—I am not exaggerating—six pies. Then when we don’t even make a dent in it, they complain about the waste. EVERY YEAR.

This year, I’ve had it with the “waste whining” and told them flat out, maybe don’t bring literally more than one whole pie for each adult for a three-day visit. There are 365 days in a year, you can eat a piece of pie whenever. Just make pumpkin, mince, and pecan, and then cookies. Like stop with the extraneous fruit pies.

I'm totally picturing this in my mind. Thanks for the laugh! I've seen something like this play out at past holiday family gatherings but not to this extent. LOL. Too funny. Merry Christmas, PP!