Ok here’s my DW - lets hear your thoughts.

Pro’s:
She’s a certified badass:
- highly driven
- put herself through college (every dime working multiple jobs)
- has had a highly successful/stable career
- she earns around $1m per year in her career/job
- outside of her career she’s built and runs a rental property business that produces and extra $200k ish per year. (She’s done everything from finding/buying properties to sub-contracting rennovations, to doing back-busting physical labor herself to keep a project on budget).
- she runs our household and manages our teen son’s school activities and sports.
- she’s fit and has a ridiculous body. She was an HS/College level track athlete and has always loved staying fit. She turns heads in a bikini.
- she enjoys and makes time for sex. The sex is good.
- she has a good sense of humor (sometimes, depending on her mood)
- she loves dogs, does volunteer work at an animal rescue and fosters dogs until we get them adopted.
- She has zero interest in impressing anyone
-She goes out of her way to do things for my family.

Con’s:
- To be successful, she’s had to run over tons of obstacles in her career and life. Sometimes she runs over the people around her including myself and our son. What makes a successful business person doesn’t always make for good personal relationships.
- She has to have control of everything. One of the reasons she owns so much of our worklist is that she honestly can’t hand it off and will micro-manage that person until she ultimately takes it back out of frustration.
- she rewrites history to suit her narrative (so in hindsight all of her decisions are always perfectly sound)
- Her decisiveness causes her to make snap decisions that aren’t always accurate. She sees you do something one time - you do that something ALL the time and its a character flaw.
- Sex can’t be spontaneous, it always has to be scheduled days ahead. No oral ever, for either of us.
- If you do ever win an argument, you’re an a—hole and you’ll end up having to apologize for something.

Crinkly hair
Will not share salary amount, so I don’t know
Has small pores
Loves animals, children, plants
Trustworthy
Suffers from Onychomycosis but blames others
Makes own furniture
Converts coins to more valuable metals as hobby
Makes own clothes
Handy with some repairs
Good with math
Enjoys mopping, polishing and other cleaning duties
Expressive painter and poet
Pays most taxes
Respectful of other cultures within reason
Opposes repression
Supports empowerment
Not afraid to dance, including alone
Understands science
Enjoys television
Rides adult trike as main mode of transportation for short distances
Good at organizing household items
Frugal with perishables
Experimental eater
Likes maps
Has no anger issues
Wakes up early
Enjoys a good tug of war
Cries at a "buddy" movie
Has warts on back
Likes cartoons
Has stolen art
Earns a decent living
Uses the term hobo (and hobos) a lot
Spiritual medium
Multiple opinions
Water oriented
Has unique way of solving traffic jams
Gives $10 to everyone he meets, once a year.
Favorite color, green
Has saliva like glue
Thinks slipcovers are tacky
Wants to join a club
Runs red lights

This is such a fantastic thread! Makes you realize how everyone is flawed. Also seems like people are being pretty honest in this thread.

Kind, loyal and forgiving when necessary
Good compromiser
Good dad, needs course correction at times but is very receptive when that needs to happen
Messy by nature but likes to please me so somewhat keeps it together-- house stuff is 50/50
Highly intelligent and well-read
Does not have a real friend group, gets most social needs met through work and family
Can be lazy
Quiet/not super chatty by nature but is a deep thinker so good conversationalist if you can get him going
Creative/crafty
Low sex drive

The most startling thing about this thread is how much more $250K-$300k looked like 2 years ago.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hard worker, works 7am—10pm weekdays and some admin on weekends
Makes about $400K (I make $200K)
Bought and renovated our beautiful home at a top notch address and another in the country where he cleared the land himself and added a pool
Adores our children, has read to them every morning since they were born (they are 16).
A giver
Emotionally breathtakingly fluent and responsive/responsible
Loves sex and giving oral, is good at it; great chemistry
The most un-selfpitying and unentitled person I have ever known. Never complains.
Is strong, warm, gentle, kind, loving, accepting, supportive, heart of a lion but demeanor of a golden retriever.
Took care of me through a serious illness
Cheated on me for three years with his own patient.
Placed our family in enormous jeopardy, could have been ruined if she sued or reported him.

Oh no! I know who you are. You are a gorgeous and amazing mom! So sorry you had to go through this. I root for you two as a couple and a family (and I know I’m not the only one).

How do you think you know me?

I haven't read all the pages, but who won the spouse lottery out of this group? Methinks it's this poster:

Anonymous wrote:High earner - $350k
Strong leader, well liked professionally and seen as high potential
Very smart, degrees from Princeton and Wharton
Tall (6’2), still has all his hair at 40
Handy, fixes things around the house + for family and friends
Enjoys the good things in life, but can overindulge a little
Outdoorsy and active, former athlete, ok shape (34” waist)
Good cook, but often too busy to cook
Great, involved dad who equally splits the invisible work
Coaches both our son and daughter’s lacrosse teams
Worldly and cultured, speaks a foreign language, and loves to travel internationally
Enjoys Broadway
Travels 20% of the time for work, pre-Covid
Affectionate, high drive, very giving in the bedroom
But needs a lot of attention
Can be a lazy dresser. Lots of old college tee shirts, jeans, and tennis shoes
Often late, somewhat ADHD
Messy. Helps around the house but also constantly leaves stuff sitting out.
Runs household finances and saves well
Highly confident based on life success, generally convinced he is right on everything
Loyal and caring, friends would describe him as super nice

Anonymous wrote:DH is funny, tall (6’2”), “hot” former athlete, smart, good in bed, makes $600k/yr, with upside of a business he is building, likes to do home improvement projects, wash my car, clean around house and BBQ. He has mid level sex drive (once a week) but when we have it is good.

Works 7:30 am until 7 in office, oftem home late, focused 100% on work. I do 90% of parenting tasks (with help of au pair) and also work full time at $500k/yr job but with flexibility to work from home.

I plan all the dates and holiday vacations. He focuses on work and his hobbies/friends/work.

He is funny, but short tempered and can be a maniac. He is not in touch with himself emotionally and often gives silent treatment if something is off.

We have great fun when he is in a good mood. I have learned to find emotional intimacy through friendships.

Ladies in neighborhood have crushes on him, sometimes i get jealous of his social time away from me, but when he focuses on me it is the best feeling.

Know he had an emotional affair once, suspect more.

I wouldn't leave them but yikes. This would not be my cup of tea. Good for you for finding emotional intimacy through friendships.

- Good at almost everything he does
- High earner (over 500K)
- funny
- does lots of little things for me
- has gone to therapy and learned to be a better communicator
- involved dad, really cares about his kids and loves them
- emotionally available
- enjoys taking to me and spending time with me
- smart but humble about it
- for the most part our libidos match
- not sexist, racist, transphobic, etc.
- really proud of my accomplishments
- very good-looking to me


Cons:
- he is nonstop and tends to judge those who aren't as ambitious/productive as he is
- has some blind spots; will judge others for things that he himself struggles with
- tends to micromanage because he believes he knows the best way to do everything (and tbh it often is the best way to do things)
- criticizes my parenting, but gets defensive when I try to explain why I'm making the parenting choices I'm making


Unsure if it's a pro or con:
- really into fitness, can be a bit obsessive about it, but I guess that's better than him dying young because of health problems
- concerned about money so he is in a job that I fear is bad for his mental health, but better than being a deadbeat

Honestly sometimes my biggest struggle in my relationship is worrying I'm not good enough for him.

DH is funny, tall (6’2”), “hot” former athlete, smart, good in bed, makes $600k/yr, with upside of a business he is building, likes to do home improvement projects, wash my car, clean around house and BBQ. He has mid level sex drive (once a week) but when we have it is good.

Works 7:30 am until 7 in office, oftem home late, focused 100% on work. I do 90% of parenting tasks (with help of au pair) and also work full time at $500k/yr job but with flexibility to work from home.

I plan all the dates and holiday vacations. He focuses on work and his hobbies/friends/work.

He is funny, but short tempered and can be a maniac. He is not in touch with himself emotionally and often gives silent treatment if something is off.

We have great fun when he is in a good mood. I have learned to find emotional intimacy through friendships.

Ladies in neighborhood have crushes on him, sometimes i get jealous of his social time away from me, but when he focuses on me it is the best feeling.

Know he had an emotional affair once, suspect more.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DW:

Pros:
Pretty, fit, works out
Great fashion sense
Happy, likes to laugh, is an optimist
High drive, really enjoys sex, up for (almost) anything
Hard worker, high earner (MD)

Cons:
Often thinks her way is the best/only way
Great mom but overindulgent, gives in to DD too often
Can be emotionally needy/exhausting, needs to talk everything out
Anxious, can't let things go

Wow, I'd take this in a heartbeat over my no.libido SAHM wife.

Frankly, I’m exhausted with all of the drama and the stress work and the talking and even the constant touching and sex. I would make that trade.

Are you a woman too?

DH is a Gemini, two personalities.
On a good day, DH is kind, helpful, supportive, a good listener, a classic Boy Scout who helps elders across the street and picks the newspaper off the sidewalk and brings it to the neighbor's door. On a bad day, he's snippy, imperious/bossy, makes mean comments to/about anyone who gets in his way, sometimes to the point of being aggressive/bullying.
He's a high earner, intelligent and well read, enjoys history, classical music, nature. He's a fantastic cook, engaged father, very outgoing, good in bed. He's also 40 lbs overweight, binge eats, suffers from anxiety that he will not treat or acknowledge. He is seldom emotionally available and "argues" by being passive aggressive. I'm never sure which DH I'm going to get--some days are wonderful, and others are a total bummer.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DW:

Pros:
Pretty, fit, works out
Great fashion sense
Happy, likes to laugh, is an optimist
High drive, really enjoys sex, up for (almost) anything
Hard worker, high earner (MD)

Cons:
Often thinks her way is the best/only way
Great mom but overindulgent, gives in to DD too often
Can be emotionally needy/exhausting, needs to talk everything out
Anxious, can't let things go

Wow, I'd take this in a heartbeat over my no.libido SAHM wife.

Frankly, I’m exhausted with all of the drama and the stress work and the talking and even the constant touching and sex. I would make that trade.

Anonymous wrote:DW:

Pros:
Pretty, fit, works out
Great fashion sense
Happy, likes to laugh, is an optimist
High drive, really enjoys sex, up for (almost) anything
Hard worker, high earner (MD)

Cons:
Often thinks her way is the best/only way
Great mom but overindulgent, gives in to DD too often
Can be emotionally needy/exhausting, needs to talk everything out
Anxious, can't let things go

Wow, I'd take this in a heartbeat over my no.libido SAHM wife.

Anonymous wrote:-Well educated
-Reads widely and almost everyone in my friend circle come to him for advice on a wide range of issues
-Good with money, turned his $150K salary over the years into a nice 7 digit sum
-Exceptional father. So many people from different walks of life pointed this out to me and tell me how rare that is. Never ever turned down our children when they asked for his time - to go to a park, play outside, walk, help with homework, etc. In fact, left job over this.
-Good husband, exceptionally caring. I have never ever used the washing machine or clean bathrooms. He would never let me and it seems to physically pain him to see me carry loads of laundry up and down the stairs. Makes me healthy breakfast from scratch 5x a week, though not exactly what I like.
- Good in bed

- Short tempered in the sense that he puts so much thought into things for me and kids that he finds irritating when I am not as thoughtful.
- He took a low paying job and always on the ready to quit if it interfered with family. We do not need the money as my job is quite well paying and more than enough. His salary entirely is saving.

Sounds amazing!