Anonymous wrote:Nah it's easy. Every kid, every game should be playing as much as possible at 9 and 10 (and 11 and 12 and ....., and 17 and 18.)

Why do you suppose we are not hearing about lack of playing time for kids from DA teams with limited substitution rules? Kids on the DA teams not want to play? Nope. The clubs long ago made sure that kids played a lot - even if it was in unofficial scrimmages. The points being (1) kids play a lot, and (2) college and professional coaches are given ample opportunity to see the kids play.

Now -- if you have a club 9 or 10 year old coach withholding playing time for a kid who is not as good as other kids on the team, and the coach has not explained to the parents and the kid the reasoning behind that decision (lack of attendance, not paying attention etc. . . ) then you have a bad coach. Period. The club may have another team though where the kid can fit in with a decent coach.
That is worth exploring so do have a conversation with the appropriate director about team placement.

There is no excuse for not playing a 9 or 10 year old who is showing up with a good attitude and otherwise following team rules as much as everyone else.

Every coach already knows who they are not playing and how their substitution patterns work. If the coach is not telling you why your kid is not playing then that is another sign of a very bad coach. Nothing should be a surprise to the player or the player's parents.

Finally, do not be shy about leaving and getting your money back. For a 10 year old you are talking about 10% of their lifetime doing something with a bad coach. Sorry no. Leave and get a porportion of your money back. Do not be shy. You will be doing your kid a big favor.

I agree with most everything you put, and the scrimmages and also PT status are ways they make sure players play. However I wonder if any club has ever refunded anyone because of playing time issues (or any other issues for that matter). That would be interesting if they did.

Anonymous wrote:And don't feel like you have to talk to the coach. If the fall and spring come and go, and this all stays the same, you pretty much have your answer. Just find somewhere else for him to play. If it's 50% now, it will likely go down as the years roll by. No big deal. Plenty of clubs to choose from.

They don’t know why their kid isn’t playing if they don’t talk to the coach and those unfixed issues will likely follow the kid to the next club.

And don't feel like you have to talk to the coach. If the fall and spring come and go, and this all stays the same, you pretty much have your answer. Just find somewhere else for him to play. If it's 50% now, it will likely go down as the years roll by. No big deal. Plenty of clubs to choose from.

The kid is playing 50%. And it is just the fall season so far.

This is not significantly less. The kid is not getting only 5-10 minutes a game.

The drama and over reaction here is insane.

Talk to the coach about it then talk to the DOC.

Don’t like what you hear, don’t get placed appropriately then leave.

Nah it's easy. Every kid, every game should be playing as much as possible at 9 and 10 (and 11 and 12 and ....., and 17 and 18.)

Why do you suppose we are not hearing about lack of playing time for kids from DA teams with limited substitution rules? Kids on the DA teams not want to play? Nope. The clubs long ago made sure that kids played a lot - even if it was in unofficial scrimmages. The points being (1) kids play a lot, and (2) college and professional coaches are given ample opportunity to see the kids play.

Now -- if you have a club 9 or 10 year old coach withholding playing time for a kid who is not as good as other kids on the team, and the coach has not explained to the parents and the kid the reasoning behind that decision (lack of attendance, not paying attention etc. . . ) then you have a bad coach. Period. The club may have another team though where the kid can fit in with a decent coach.
That is worth exploring so do have a conversation with the appropriate director about team placement.

There is no excuse for not playing a 9 or 10 year old who is showing up with a good attitude and otherwise following team rules as much as everyone else.

Every coach already knows who they are not playing and how their substitution patterns work. If the coach is not telling you why your kid is not playing then that is another sign of a very bad coach. Nothing should be a surprise to the player or the player's parents.

Finally, do not be shy about leaving and getting your money back. For a 10 year old you are talking about 10% of their lifetime doing something with a bad coach. Sorry no. Leave and get a porportion of your money back. Do not be shy. You will be doing your kid a big favor.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The best answer is to find another place to play.

Best answer is actually talk to the coach. Find out the players shortcomings and see if there is a developmental plan to address the players needs.

If, after talking to the coach, there is no real plan to address the shortcomings or the coach is evasive about the players needs then absolutely find another team.

If you leave without knowing what your players limitations are, in the eyes of a coach, you will do the kid a great disservice. If you don't know or are unwilling to address the shortcomings they will not go away on their own through the magic of club practice and the same cycle will repeat itself.

Not really. Plenty of options out there. Just find a better environment. I did it for my son, and it was the best decision I made for him. He got more confident, he got better and got recruited at the University he wanted to.

And that worked out for you. I didn't say you have to stay at the club.

Exactly what is the downside to getting the current coaches perspective? Why not have that dialog? The coach could be wrong or off the mark but there is every chance that the coach is right. Change clubs if you want but your kid will be in a much better spot if you have an idea of what your players strengths and weaknesses are in the long run.

But I get it, people want to be outraged and blame the coach, travel soccer and just about anything but themselves. A coach may not be the best fit for your kid but that does not make them a bad coach or even wrong. It doesn't have to be personal. So, if you want the best for your kid then the best thing is to never waste an opportunity to get feedback or insight regarding your kids strengths and weaknesses. If you do that you will have more information to help guide your next decision. I really don't see what is so controversial about talking to an adult like an adult.

That's been talked about multiple times on this thread. And actually several posters told people to take their "loser" children to karate and other sports. Every parent I ever knew of that tried got nothing but hostility, no matter how they tried. But if it scratches an itch for someone, sure. Talk to the coach. However, clubs are much more likely to recruit over top of a bottom player than to develop one. So a fresh look and set of eyes is the approach that I have seen work out on a pretty consistent basis.

Again, taking it personally. If you want to leave then leave but you should leave armed with as much information as possible.

If you go into the conversation defensive and confrontational you will get a a defensive coach. If you go into the conversation like an adult you will have an adult conversation. But the only way that works is if you honestly just want the information without trying to change the coaches mind. You wouldn't go to your kids teacher in school and try and convince the teacher that your kid is great at math when she is consistently getting C's. But you would go in with a different perspective of your kid and try and have a dialog of why your kid is getting C's when your experience at home is that she understands the homework but chokes on tests?

The point of the conversation is to hopefully make your kid a better soccer player not to convince the other of anything. To many parents talk to coaches in transnational terms:
My kid should get more minutes
My kid should be Center Mid


If the conversation is started with:
How can my kid earn more minutes?
My kid would like to play Center mid, what does she need to improve to earn that position?

There's nothing personal about it. It's a service they are selling, and a service I'm buying.

Well, all you've actually bought is 50% playing time the rest you're wasting due to pride and arrogance.

That's fine. If a coach isn't interested in a player, the player should move on from the coach. It's better to go where a coach believes in the player and will develop him.

And that is where the disconnect is. This is why so many people get frustrated with travel sports. You said it isn't personal and then you say this, "If a coach isn't interested in a player, the player should move on from the coach" I don't know but that sounds kind of personal to me. And it is based on what exactly? Playing time? Again, playing time is earned and is relational to the other players on the team. Again, there is no deeper questioning what are the players shortcomings only that the coach isn't "interested" in the player.

And yes, you can go to another team where the "coach believes" in him, i.e. plays him even though the team may be weaker relative to the previous team.

My kids have changed clubs and the flaws that they had at the previous club didn't disappear because the new coach "believed" in them.

The problem is there is no mutual ground with parents like you because in your mind you have "paid for a service" and you did not signup and pay $3000 for disappointment. And if there is disappointment well that is the coaches fault not mine or my kids.

You are overflowing this. Read through the thread. When you understand it, then this can become a meaningful discussion.

The person who believes that no meaningful discussion can be had with a soccer coach is going to lecture me about having a meaning ful discussion about talking to a U9 soccer coach? Seriously? A U9/U10 soccer coach?!?! A parent is so sure of their kids ability or soccer worth that a discussion with a part-time U-little soccer coach.

Hilarious.

You just have no idea what you are talking about. You are very naive.

You're the one who changes clubs until you find a coach who "believes" in your kid. You're gullible and your kid likely isn't getting better in meaningful ways because you don't "believe" it is necessary.

Yeah, after a 9 year old has been there for a year, no need to stay. Absolutely. What do we really owe this club? Nothing. We had a contract for a year, a year is done. Time to move on. It's not personal, even though this does seem to hurt your feelings.

It doesn’t hurt my feelings at all.

Your problem lies with reading and comprehension. I never said stay at the club. Somehow you conflate talking with the coach to staying with the club. You seem to think talking is a bad thing. You can talk and leave. Sorry the coach didn’t play your little 9 year old as much as some of the other kids and you’ll never know why.

They seem pretty hurt. There is no reason to make a big to do if something doesn't work out. As I said in other posts, once the year is done, it is no big deal to move on. And by then, the player has gotten evaluations and knows why he isn't being played. It's an easy decision. You take the kid to other tryouts and find a better fit. I see some poor kids, year after endless year, staying, and never seeing the field. Why? Find another club. Easy. Find somewhere the kid can get on the field.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And to put it in perspective, my logic is simple. If my son wanted to watch other people play soccer, we'd turn on LaLiga. He wanted to play. He worked hard, he did extra training and some coaches want what they want. You can look at the starters and see what that is. Is it size? Speed? Technical work? Somethings are controllable, and some aren't. So once a player has done what they can, then it's time to recognize that what that player has isn't what that coach wants. A year is enough time.

And by the way, why isn't this coach we are supposed to give the benefit of the doubt to giving any feedback? My kids always got evaluations, and they always knew what the coach was looking for. One coach used some online program with different metrics.

Never have I said to not leave a club. All I have said is talk to the coach about your players shortcomings. That doesn't mean stay. That means understanding that all players have weaknesses and there is no reason to turn down an opportunity to discuss a players pros and cons. If you just want your player to play then just find a coach who will play him. If you want your player to get better then ask coaches what work on the side can be done. And since you paid for the service you should consider the player assessment a part of what you have paid for.

Any and every club should already be providing those assessments, so a player should already know what the issue is. If it isn't providing them, then add that to the list of reasons to leave. Run in fact. Because if there aren't evaluations throughout the year, then that's a coaching problem.

Not many clubs are giving assessments around Thanksgiving but one is free to ask for one. If you ask and don’t get one then run. If you ask for one and you don’t like it, well of course run because they don’t “believe” in your kid and you are paying for a service after all and that service should include telling you what you want to hear.

Who is advocating for leaving now? I'm not. I say stay the year and then leave, and my posts have been clear about that. It seems you are the one with a reading comprehension problem.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And to put it in perspective, my logic is simple. If my son wanted to watch other people play soccer, we'd turn on LaLiga. He wanted to play. He worked hard, he did extra training and some coaches want what they want. You can look at the starters and see what that is. Is it size? Speed? Technical work? Somethings are controllable, and some aren't. So once a player has done what they can, then it's time to recognize that what that player has isn't what that coach wants. A year is enough time.

And by the way, why isn't this coach we are supposed to give the benefit of the doubt to giving any feedback? My kids always got evaluations, and they always knew what the coach was looking for. One coach used some online program with different metrics.

Never have I said to not leave a club. All I have said is talk to the coach about your players shortcomings. That doesn't mean stay. That means understanding that all players have weaknesses and there is no reason to turn down an opportunity to discuss a players pros and cons. If you just want your player to play then just find a coach who will play him. If you want your player to get better then ask coaches what work on the side can be done. And since you paid for the service you should consider the player assessment a part of what you have paid for.

Any and every club should already be providing those assessments, so a player should already know what the issue is. If it isn't providing them, then add that to the list of reasons to leave. Run in fact. Because if there aren't evaluations throughout the year, then that's a coaching problem.

Not many clubs are giving assessments around Thanksgiving but one is free to ask for one. If you ask and don’t get one then run. If you ask for one and you don’t like it, well of course run because they don’t “believe” in your kid and you are paying for a service after all and that service should include telling you what you want to hear.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The best answer is to find another place to play.

Best answer is actually talk to the coach. Find out the players shortcomings and see if there is a developmental plan to address the players needs.

If, after talking to the coach, there is no real plan to address the shortcomings or the coach is evasive about the players needs then absolutely find another team.

If you leave without knowing what your players limitations are, in the eyes of a coach, you will do the kid a great disservice. If you don't know or are unwilling to address the shortcomings they will not go away on their own through the magic of club practice and the same cycle will repeat itself.

Not really. Plenty of options out there. Just find a better environment. I did it for my son, and it was the best decision I made for him. He got more confident, he got better and got recruited at the University he wanted to.

And that worked out for you. I didn't say you have to stay at the club.

Exactly what is the downside to getting the current coaches perspective? Why not have that dialog? The coach could be wrong or off the mark but there is every chance that the coach is right. Change clubs if you want but your kid will be in a much better spot if you have an idea of what your players strengths and weaknesses are in the long run.

But I get it, people want to be outraged and blame the coach, travel soccer and just about anything but themselves. A coach may not be the best fit for your kid but that does not make them a bad coach or even wrong. It doesn't have to be personal. So, if you want the best for your kid then the best thing is to never waste an opportunity to get feedback or insight regarding your kids strengths and weaknesses. If you do that you will have more information to help guide your next decision. I really don't see what is so controversial about talking to an adult like an adult.

That's been talked about multiple times on this thread. And actually several posters told people to take their "loser" children to karate and other sports. Every parent I ever knew of that tried got nothing but hostility, no matter how they tried. But if it scratches an itch for someone, sure. Talk to the coach. However, clubs are much more likely to recruit over top of a bottom player than to develop one. So a fresh look and set of eyes is the approach that I have seen work out on a pretty consistent basis.

Again, taking it personally. If you want to leave then leave but you should leave armed with as much information as possible.

If you go into the conversation defensive and confrontational you will get a a defensive coach. If you go into the conversation like an adult you will have an adult conversation. But the only way that works is if you honestly just want the information without trying to change the coaches mind. You wouldn't go to your kids teacher in school and try and convince the teacher that your kid is great at math when she is consistently getting C's. But you would go in with a different perspective of your kid and try and have a dialog of why your kid is getting C's when your experience at home is that she understands the homework but chokes on tests?

The point of the conversation is to hopefully make your kid a better soccer player not to convince the other of anything. To many parents talk to coaches in transnational terms:
My kid should get more minutes
My kid should be Center Mid


If the conversation is started with:
How can my kid earn more minutes?
My kid would like to play Center mid, what does she need to improve to earn that position?

There's nothing personal about it. It's a service they are selling, and a service I'm buying.

Well, all you've actually bought is 50% playing time the rest you're wasting due to pride and arrogance.

That's fine. If a coach isn't interested in a player, the player should move on from the coach. It's better to go where a coach believes in the player and will develop him.

And that is where the disconnect is. This is why so many people get frustrated with travel sports. You said it isn't personal and then you say this, "If a coach isn't interested in a player, the player should move on from the coach" I don't know but that sounds kind of personal to me. And it is based on what exactly? Playing time? Again, playing time is earned and is relational to the other players on the team. Again, there is no deeper questioning what are the players shortcomings only that the coach isn't "interested" in the player.

And yes, you can go to another team where the "coach believes" in him, i.e. plays him even though the team may be weaker relative to the previous team.

My kids have changed clubs and the flaws that they had at the previous club didn't disappear because the new coach "believed" in them.

The problem is there is no mutual ground with parents like you because in your mind you have "paid for a service" and you did not signup and pay $3000 for disappointment. And if there is disappointment well that is the coaches fault not mine or my kids.

You are overflowing this. Read through the thread. When you understand it, then this can become a meaningful discussion.

The person who believes that no meaningful discussion can be had with a soccer coach is going to lecture me about having a meaning ful discussion about talking to a U9 soccer coach? Seriously? A U9/U10 soccer coach?!?! A parent is so sure of their kids ability or soccer worth that a discussion with a part-time U-little soccer coach.

Hilarious.

You just have no idea what you are talking about. You are very naive.

You're the one who changes clubs until you find a coach who "believes" in your kid. You're gullible and your kid likely isn't getting better in meaningful ways because you don't "believe" it is necessary.

Yeah, after a 9 year old has been there for a year, no need to stay. Absolutely. What do we really owe this club? Nothing. We had a contract for a year, a year is done. Time to move on. It's not personal, even though this does seem to hurt your feelings.

It doesn’t hurt my feelings at all.

Your problem lies with reading and comprehension. I never said stay at the club. Somehow you conflate talking with the coach to staying with the club. You seem to think talking is a bad thing. You can talk and leave. Sorry the coach didn’t play your little 9 year old as much as some of the other kids and you’ll never know why.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And to put it in perspective, my logic is simple. If my son wanted to watch other people play soccer, we'd turn on LaLiga. He wanted to play. He worked hard, he did extra training and some coaches want what they want. You can look at the starters and see what that is. Is it size? Speed? Technical work? Somethings are controllable, and some aren't. So once a player has done what they can, then it's time to recognize that what that player has isn't what that coach wants. A year is enough time.

And by the way, why isn't this coach we are supposed to give the benefit of the doubt to giving any feedback? My kids always got evaluations, and they always knew what the coach was looking for. One coach used some online program with different metrics.

Never have I said to not leave a club. All I have said is talk to the coach about your players shortcomings. That doesn't mean stay. That means understanding that all players have weaknesses and there is no reason to turn down an opportunity to discuss a players pros and cons. If you just want your player to play then just find a coach who will play him. If you want your player to get better then ask coaches what work on the side can be done. And since you paid for the service you should consider the player assessment a part of what you have paid for.

Any and every club should already be providing those assessments, so a player should already know what the issue is. If it isn't providing them, then add that to the list of reasons to leave. Run in fact. Because if there aren't evaluations throughout the year, then that's a coaching problem.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The best answer is to find another place to play.

Best answer is actually talk to the coach. Find out the players shortcomings and see if there is a developmental plan to address the players needs.

If, after talking to the coach, there is no real plan to address the shortcomings or the coach is evasive about the players needs then absolutely find another team.

If you leave without knowing what your players limitations are, in the eyes of a coach, you will do the kid a great disservice. If you don't know or are unwilling to address the shortcomings they will not go away on their own through the magic of club practice and the same cycle will repeat itself.

Not really. Plenty of options out there. Just find a better environment. I did it for my son, and it was the best decision I made for him. He got more confident, he got better and got recruited at the University he wanted to.

And that worked out for you. I didn't say you have to stay at the club.

Exactly what is the downside to getting the current coaches perspective? Why not have that dialog? The coach could be wrong or off the mark but there is every chance that the coach is right. Change clubs if you want but your kid will be in a much better spot if you have an idea of what your players strengths and weaknesses are in the long run.

But I get it, people want to be outraged and blame the coach, travel soccer and just about anything but themselves. A coach may not be the best fit for your kid but that does not make them a bad coach or even wrong. It doesn't have to be personal. So, if you want the best for your kid then the best thing is to never waste an opportunity to get feedback or insight regarding your kids strengths and weaknesses. If you do that you will have more information to help guide your next decision. I really don't see what is so controversial about talking to an adult like an adult.

That's been talked about multiple times on this thread. And actually several posters told people to take their "loser" children to karate and other sports. Every parent I ever knew of that tried got nothing but hostility, no matter how they tried. But if it scratches an itch for someone, sure. Talk to the coach. However, clubs are much more likely to recruit over top of a bottom player than to develop one. So a fresh look and set of eyes is the approach that I have seen work out on a pretty consistent basis.

Again, taking it personally. If you want to leave then leave but you should leave armed with as much information as possible.

If you go into the conversation defensive and confrontational you will get a a defensive coach. If you go into the conversation like an adult you will have an adult conversation. But the only way that works is if you honestly just want the information without trying to change the coaches mind. You wouldn't go to your kids teacher in school and try and convince the teacher that your kid is great at math when she is consistently getting C's. But you would go in with a different perspective of your kid and try and have a dialog of why your kid is getting C's when your experience at home is that she understands the homework but chokes on tests?

The point of the conversation is to hopefully make your kid a better soccer player not to convince the other of anything. To many parents talk to coaches in transnational terms:
My kid should get more minutes
My kid should be Center Mid


If the conversation is started with:
How can my kid earn more minutes?
My kid would like to play Center mid, what does she need to improve to earn that position?

There's nothing personal about it. It's a service they are selling, and a service I'm buying.

Well, all you've actually bought is 50% playing time the rest you're wasting due to pride and arrogance.

That's fine. If a coach isn't interested in a player, the player should move on from the coach. It's better to go where a coach believes in the player and will develop him.

And that is where the disconnect is. This is why so many people get frustrated with travel sports. You said it isn't personal and then you say this, "If a coach isn't interested in a player, the player should move on from the coach" I don't know but that sounds kind of personal to me. And it is based on what exactly? Playing time? Again, playing time is earned and is relational to the other players on the team. Again, there is no deeper questioning what are the players shortcomings only that the coach isn't "interested" in the player.

And yes, you can go to another team where the "coach believes" in him, i.e. plays him even though the team may be weaker relative to the previous team.

My kids have changed clubs and the flaws that they had at the previous club didn't disappear because the new coach "believed" in them.

The problem is there is no mutual ground with parents like you because in your mind you have "paid for a service" and you did not signup and pay $3000 for disappointment. And if there is disappointment well that is the coaches fault not mine or my kids.

You are overflowing this. Read through the thread. When you understand it, then this can become a meaningful discussion.

The person who believes that no meaningful discussion can be had with a soccer coach is going to lecture me about having a meaning ful discussion about talking to a U9 soccer coach? Seriously? A U9/U10 soccer coach?!?! A parent is so sure of their kids ability or soccer worth that a discussion with a part-time U-little soccer coach.

Hilarious.

You just have no idea what you are talking about. You are very naive.

You're the one who changes clubs until you find a coach who "believes" in your kid. You're gullible and your kid likely isn't getting better in meaningful ways because you don't "believe" it is necessary.

Yeah, after a 9 year old has been there for a year, no need to stay. Absolutely. What do we really owe this club? Nothing. We had a contract for a year, a year is done. Time to move on. It's not personal, even though this does seem to hurt your feelings.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The best answer is to find another place to play.

Best answer is actually talk to the coach. Find out the players shortcomings and see if there is a developmental plan to address the players needs.

If, after talking to the coach, there is no real plan to address the shortcomings or the coach is evasive about the players needs then absolutely find another team.

If you leave without knowing what your players limitations are, in the eyes of a coach, you will do the kid a great disservice. If you don't know or are unwilling to address the shortcomings they will not go away on their own through the magic of club practice and the same cycle will repeat itself.

Not really. Plenty of options out there. Just find a better environment. I did it for my son, and it was the best decision I made for him. He got more confident, he got better and got recruited at the University he wanted to.

And that worked out for you. I didn't say you have to stay at the club.

Exactly what is the downside to getting the current coaches perspective? Why not have that dialog? The coach could be wrong or off the mark but there is every chance that the coach is right. Change clubs if you want but your kid will be in a much better spot if you have an idea of what your players strengths and weaknesses are in the long run.

But I get it, people want to be outraged and blame the coach, travel soccer and just about anything but themselves. A coach may not be the best fit for your kid but that does not make them a bad coach or even wrong. It doesn't have to be personal. So, if you want the best for your kid then the best thing is to never waste an opportunity to get feedback or insight regarding your kids strengths and weaknesses. If you do that you will have more information to help guide your next decision. I really don't see what is so controversial about talking to an adult like an adult.

That's been talked about multiple times on this thread. And actually several posters told people to take their "loser" children to karate and other sports. Every parent I ever knew of that tried got nothing but hostility, no matter how they tried. But if it scratches an itch for someone, sure. Talk to the coach. However, clubs are much more likely to recruit over top of a bottom player than to develop one. So a fresh look and set of eyes is the approach that I have seen work out on a pretty consistent basis.

Again, taking it personally. If you want to leave then leave but you should leave armed with as much information as possible.

If you go into the conversation defensive and confrontational you will get a a defensive coach. If you go into the conversation like an adult you will have an adult conversation. But the only way that works is if you honestly just want the information without trying to change the coaches mind. You wouldn't go to your kids teacher in school and try and convince the teacher that your kid is great at math when she is consistently getting C's. But you would go in with a different perspective of your kid and try and have a dialog of why your kid is getting C's when your experience at home is that she understands the homework but chokes on tests?

The point of the conversation is to hopefully make your kid a better soccer player not to convince the other of anything. To many parents talk to coaches in transnational terms:
My kid should get more minutes
My kid should be Center Mid


If the conversation is started with:
How can my kid earn more minutes?
My kid would like to play Center mid, what does she need to improve to earn that position?

There's nothing personal about it. It's a service they are selling, and a service I'm buying.

Well, all you've actually bought is 50% playing time the rest you're wasting due to pride and arrogance.

That's fine. If a coach isn't interested in a player, the player should move on from the coach. It's better to go where a coach believes in the player and will develop him.

And that is where the disconnect is. This is why so many people get frustrated with travel sports. You said it isn't personal and then you say this, "If a coach isn't interested in a player, the player should move on from the coach" I don't know but that sounds kind of personal to me. And it is based on what exactly? Playing time? Again, playing time is earned and is relational to the other players on the team. Again, there is no deeper questioning what are the players shortcomings only that the coach isn't "interested" in the player.

And yes, you can go to another team where the "coach believes" in him, i.e. plays him even though the team may be weaker relative to the previous team.

My kids have changed clubs and the flaws that they had at the previous club didn't disappear because the new coach "believed" in them.

The problem is there is no mutual ground with parents like you because in your mind you have "paid for a service" and you did not signup and pay $3000 for disappointment. And if there is disappointment well that is the coaches fault not mine or my kids.

You are overflowing this. Read through the thread. When you understand it, then this can become a meaningful discussion.

The person who believes that no meaningful discussion can be had with a soccer coach is going to lecture me about having a meaning ful discussion about talking to a U9 soccer coach? Seriously? A U9/U10 soccer coach?!?! A parent is so sure of their kids ability or soccer worth that a discussion with a part-time U-little soccer coach.

Hilarious.

You just have no idea what you are talking about. You are very naive.

You're the one who changes clubs until you find a coach who "believes" in your kid. You're gullible and your kid likely isn't getting better in meaningful ways because you don't "believe" it is necessary.

Anonymous wrote:And to put it in perspective, my logic is simple. If my son wanted to watch other people play soccer, we'd turn on LaLiga. He wanted to play. He worked hard, he did extra training and some coaches want what they want. You can look at the starters and see what that is. Is it size? Speed? Technical work? Somethings are controllable, and some aren't. So once a player has done what they can, then it's time to recognize that what that player has isn't what that coach wants. A year is enough time.

And by the way, why isn't this coach we are supposed to give the benefit of the doubt to giving any feedback? My kids always got evaluations, and they always knew what the coach was looking for. One coach used some online program with different metrics.

Never have I said to not leave a club. All I have said is talk to the coach about your players shortcomings. That doesn't mean stay. That means understanding that all players have weaknesses and there is no reason to turn down an opportunity to discuss a players pros and cons. If you just want your player to play then just find a coach who will play him. If you want your player to get better then ask coaches what work on the side can be done. And since you paid for the service you should consider the player assessment a part of what you have paid for.

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Anonymous wrote:The best answer is to find another place to play.

Best answer is actually talk to the coach. Find out the players shortcomings and see if there is a developmental plan to address the players needs.

If, after talking to the coach, there is no real plan to address the shortcomings or the coach is evasive about the players needs then absolutely find another team.

If you leave without knowing what your players limitations are, in the eyes of a coach, you will do the kid a great disservice. If you don't know or are unwilling to address the shortcomings they will not go away on their own through the magic of club practice and the same cycle will repeat itself.

Not really. Plenty of options out there. Just find a better environment. I did it for my son, and it was the best decision I made for him. He got more confident, he got better and got recruited at the University he wanted to.

And that worked out for you. I didn't say you have to stay at the club.

Exactly what is the downside to getting the current coaches perspective? Why not have that dialog? The coach could be wrong or off the mark but there is every chance that the coach is right. Change clubs if you want but your kid will be in a much better spot if you have an idea of what your players strengths and weaknesses are in the long run.

But I get it, people want to be outraged and blame the coach, travel soccer and just about anything but themselves. A coach may not be the best fit for your kid but that does not make them a bad coach or even wrong. It doesn't have to be personal. So, if you want the best for your kid then the best thing is to never waste an opportunity to get feedback or insight regarding your kids strengths and weaknesses. If you do that you will have more information to help guide your next decision. I really don't see what is so controversial about talking to an adult like an adult.

That's been talked about multiple times on this thread. And actually several posters told people to take their "loser" children to karate and other sports. Every parent I ever knew of that tried got nothing but hostility, no matter how they tried. But if it scratches an itch for someone, sure. Talk to the coach. However, clubs are much more likely to recruit over top of a bottom player than to develop one. So a fresh look and set of eyes is the approach that I have seen work out on a pretty consistent basis.

Again, taking it personally. If you want to leave then leave but you should leave armed with as much information as possible.

If you go into the conversation defensive and confrontational you will get a a defensive coach. If you go into the conversation like an adult you will have an adult conversation. But the only way that works is if you honestly just want the information without trying to change the coaches mind. You wouldn't go to your kids teacher in school and try and convince the teacher that your kid is great at math when she is consistently getting C's. But you would go in with a different perspective of your kid and try and have a dialog of why your kid is getting C's when your experience at home is that she understands the homework but chokes on tests?

The point of the conversation is to hopefully make your kid a better soccer player not to convince the other of anything. To many parents talk to coaches in transnational terms:
My kid should get more minutes
My kid should be Center Mid


If the conversation is started with:
How can my kid earn more minutes?
My kid would like to play Center mid, what does she need to improve to earn that position?

There's nothing personal about it. It's a service they are selling, and a service I'm buying.

Well, all you've actually bought is 50% playing time the rest you're wasting due to pride and arrogance.

That's fine. If a coach isn't interested in a player, the player should move on from the coach. It's better to go where a coach believes in the player and will develop him.

And that is where the disconnect is. This is why so many people get frustrated with travel sports. You said it isn't personal and then you say this, "If a coach isn't interested in a player, the player should move on from the coach" I don't know but that sounds kind of personal to me. And it is based on what exactly? Playing time? Again, playing time is earned and is relational to the other players on the team. Again, there is no deeper questioning what are the players shortcomings only that the coach isn't "interested" in the player.

And yes, you can go to another team where the "coach believes" in him, i.e. plays him even though the team may be weaker relative to the previous team.

My kids have changed clubs and the flaws that they had at the previous club didn't disappear because the new coach "believed" in them.

The problem is there is no mutual ground with parents like you because in your mind you have "paid for a service" and you did not signup and pay $3000 for disappointment. And if there is disappointment well that is the coaches fault not mine or my kids.

You are overflowing this. Read through the thread. When you understand it, then this can become a meaningful discussion.

The person who believes that no meaningful discussion can be had with a soccer coach is going to lecture me about having a meaning ful discussion about talking to a U9 soccer coach? Seriously? A U9/U10 soccer coach?!?! A parent is so sure of their kids ability or soccer worth that a discussion with a part-time U-little soccer coach.

Hilarious.

You just have no idea what you are talking about. You are very naive.

And to put it in perspective, my logic is simple. If my son wanted to watch other people play soccer, we'd turn on LaLiga. He wanted to play. He worked hard, he did extra training and some coaches want what they want. You can look at the starters and see what that is. Is it size? Speed? Technical work? Somethings are controllable, and some aren't. So once a player has done what they can, then it's time to recognize that what that player has isn't what that coach wants. A year is enough time.

And by the way, why isn't this coach we are supposed to give the benefit of the doubt to giving any feedback? My kids always got evaluations, and they always knew what the coach was looking for. One coach used some online program with different metrics.