Anonymous wrote:

Root of the problem is DW is batshit crazy and hyper critical. Poor man and poor daughter being raised with this example. She's being sentenced to a lifetime of the same crazy critical attitude towards others which will be hard.
Good luck with your divorce. I hope DH gets plenty of custody.

OP, I knew the man-child brigade would come after you. Apparently caring that your husband (and daughter!) essentially stole money from your neighbors and will not acknowledge it makes you "batshit crazy and hyper critical".

OP, you probably stopped reading a while ago but, if I were you I would stop internalizing any blowback that occurs from your husband's behavior...all behavior.

I'm married to a wonderful man who I adore. He's handsome, fit, a great cook, a terrific dad and makes a phenomenal living. With that said, he's super quirky, often says the wrong thing, impulsive (in a bad way) and can't multi-task or plan and wouldn't know a detail if it hit him in the head. As much as I love him I used to get embarrassed by some of his behavior or worry the it reflected on me. Wow, as soon as I let that go, my life changed and our relationship (which was good, but included lots of bumps due to behavior explained above) became great.

Don't clean up his messes, don't feel guilty or embarrassed by him. He's an adult and you are not responsible for his behavior.