Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you think white people perceive AAs as a less ambitious race?

Probably because the percentage of high achieving AAs is low compared to whites. What white people don't realize though is that it's quite easy to be high achieving when you are equipped with the means to do so. You'd be hard pressed to find an accomplished white person who didn't grow up in the middle to upper class. Sure, not all white people grew up rich and comfortable, but many many more of them did compared to blacks.

How do you explain dirt poor, uneducated immigrants who don't speak English and don't know anyone when they come to the US who end up very successful?

OP here. DW and I also adopted an AA child. I agree with PP. if possible, he should have a connection to a good black man role model. He will see many views of black men in the media so a good role model would be great. I would type more on this but I'm mobile right now.

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are white and adopted an Af-Am baby last year. What are the top things he will miss out on not being in a family of his own race, do you think, and what can we do to mitigate this?

(We talked to friends and professionals about this sort of thing before adopting . . . curious for other perspectives)

I think OP, as a black man, should help you with this one.

What I would say, as a black woman, is to not ignore your son's race. By that I mean, he should have people in his life who are black (whether it's in his neighborhood, family friends, etc). I don't think you need to constantly point out his blackness, but I think it's important that he is able to share a connection with an actual black person. Though you love him, you can't really teach him how to grow up in a world that sees him as a black man.

ps. Thanks for adopting a child. I love seeing family structures like yours when I'm out and about.

Anonymous wrote:Why do black people hate dogs so much?

I don't hate dogs.....but I don't particularly like them as far as owning is concerned. I LOVE my Dad's dog....I was not so enthusiastic about my own.

There are lots of black people who love dogs. Then there are some who tolerate them and some who don't like them. Just like any other race. IME, black people do not treat dogs like people.

Anonymous wrote:Why does it seem like AA's are generally monolithic about what it is to be black?

I think this only applies to race combined with class. For example, I grew up poor and black, so my experiences probably won't match someone who grew up privileged. We may share some of the same experiences, but otherwise we don't have much in common.

One of the biggest frustrations is that non-blacks view us as "one and the same". Sadly, the focus is always on the negative, never the positive.

-AA female

Anonymous wrote:Talk to me about shaving leg hair and underarm hair -- do AA women do/not do this? What do AA men think about that?

I do shave regularly. I know some women who don't shave their legs...they like it that way. I think it's unsightly.

-AA female

Anonymous wrote:

ManHere wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you were from Japan, would you say you are African -Japanese?

No, just black. Not all black people are African American.

Agreed
-OP

but you are so if you were from japan --------?

Nobody from Africa has made it to Japan yet and started a family there?

Japanese tend to not like dark skinned people. Although they seem to think they are cool and like rap.

ManHere wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do black people hate dogs so much?

OP here. Where did you hear that?

I'm from the South... all black people I knew growing up HATED dogs! Terrified of them, even little harmless looking ones like old ass cocker spaniels.

DH and I are white and adopted an Af-Am baby last year. What are the top things he will miss out on not being in a family of his own race, do you think, and what can we do to mitigate this?

(We talked to friends and professionals about this sort of thing before adopting . . . curious for other perspectives)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it very interesting that many AA women prioritize their hair over physical fitness. Is it really worth it to have straight hair if you can't exercise?

But many of those women have careers that find dreadlocks, cornrows, and natural hair unacceptable.

That is more reception that reality. I worked in a major new york law firm for 7 years with shoulder length braids and never had any issues. I interviewed with an got a job offer from Goldman Sachs with said braids. Natural black hair can be styled professionally.

I agree. While I can't think of an instance where a bush would scream anything other than Black Panther or hippie, dreads and braids look beautiful when styled in a bun. Like with all hair, styling is key.

Keep calling it a bush and disparaging the kind of hair you naturally have (assuming you're the PP who called natural hair a "bush" earlier).

Why don't you throw in some disparaging words for black skin for good measure?

What are you talking about? I'm a black female. Some black women wear their natural hair in a bush. What's offensive about that? A bush is a bush...it's neither wrong nor right.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Once, just to make conversation with a co-worker while waiting for the microwave at lunch, I asked a AA women my age early 20's what she was eating for lunch. She told me to never ask a black person what they are eating. What was that all about?

Whaaat?

She must have been messing with you, this is a new one for me. I tell people what I'm eating all the time.

What you should never do is touch a black woman's hair without leave.

AGREED!!

-AA female

Anonymous wrote:Do you feel that you receive more compliments on the street from Blacks or non-Blacks?

This is random but I can't recall a time where another AA stopped to ask about or compliment my outfit, perfume, bag, or shoes. What about you all?

Signed,
AA

I almost never get compliments from white women (I'll get the very rare shoe nod). I get compliments from black women more often (usually re: hair, shoes, clothes), etc.

I'm always asking white/black women "Where did you get....." Funny thing: white women always seems to "forget" where they got the item. Black woman aren't nearly so secretive about revealing their shopping choices.

Anonymous wrote:Once, just to make conversation with a co-worker while waiting for the microwave at lunch, I asked a AA women my age early 20's what she was eating for lunch. She told me to never ask a black person what they are eating. What was that all about?

You should have asked her. Then you could have told us. Never heard that one before.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope i dont offend, but i have always been curious about these questions. I've asked friends, but still wonder if I'm getting the "political" answer, so since this is anonymous and you offered to answer anything, here goes:


Do you secretly think all white people are racist?
Do you hold a grudge because of slavery and/or history?
Do you think America owes you and all other black citizens something in this day and age?

Black female here.

1-Not racist, but I do think that some/many believe stereotypes and judge black people.
2-No, but I do get a bit sad if I think about the suffering of my ancestors and a bit angry at those who participated in the horrible practice. This doesn't happen often...it usually only happens during a debate and/or when I used to take AA courses in college.
3-Absolutely not. But I do find it frustrating that many white people seem to think this is true.

I'm not AA, but I agree with your answers. The only thing I get frustrated is with racist people who wonder why AAs as a community have lower income, unemployment, etc. I mean, we are talking about hundreds of years of institutional racism and only a couple generations of people who didn't grow up in segregation at the least. There's been a lot of progress, but it takes time for everyone to catch up with those who are at the top of the power structure (and have been making up the rules!).

Anonymous wrote:Why do some AA's dress bundle their kids up so much on pretty mild days?
Why are some AA's so loud in the movie theaters?

Not sure what you mean by mild days (for instance, today wasn't a mild day), but until the weather breaks, my children wear undershirts and outerwear. Can't stand the cold.

The only time I've been in a movie theater where blacks were loud is when the loud ones were teens. So, that's more an age than race. BUT, if it's a comedy, you'll miss the next joke because we love a good laugh and sometimes it drags on a bit.