Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear Capitol Cotillion Organizers:

I know you read DCUM. I appreciate what you did the other week, re-structuring things so that the girls who were "left out" given the greater number of girls than boys were then separated out so they were the first one picked for the next dance.

But just so you know, there were a handful of boys who seemed to be regularly picked first, and some regularly picked last. I suppose that's just life. But must the realities of life set in for 8 year olds? Anything you can do to help would be appreciated. Otherwise, I think you are doing a fabulous job.

A DCUM

Dear DCUM,

Thank you so much for your kind note. I'm sure that other DCUMs, not to mention the DCUM site administrator, are thrilled that you are using this forum to communicate your concerns to us. Rest assured that the emotional well-being of the 8-year-old whom we have selected to participate in Capitol Cotillion is always uppermost in our minds. However, if whether or not your child is picked to dance is an issue for you, perhaps you should consider withdrawing him/her from Capitol Cotillion in order to spare him/her that humiliation.

Just a thought!

Warmly,

Capitol Cotillion Organizers

God I hope this wasn't a real posting from a Cotillion organizer . . .

There is no way this was written by an organizer. CC makes every effort to ensure that people not picked for one dance are picked first for the next. There simply never is a case where a child is not picked for several dances in a row. And the writing was so clearly by someone who dislikes CC and thinks it is hifalutin.

Mrs Simpson's is more exclusive. You may see that as a good or as a bad thing.

Is Mrs. Simpson's considered more or less prestigious than the Capitol Cotillion?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear Capitol Cotillion Organizers:

I know you read DCUM. I appreciate what you did the other week, re-structuring things so that the girls who were "left out" given the greater number of girls than boys were then separated out so they were the first one picked for the next dance.

But just so you know, there were a handful of boys who seemed to be regularly picked first, and some regularly picked last. I suppose that's just life. But must the realities of life set in for 8 year olds? Anything you can do to help would be appreciated. Otherwise, I think you are doing a fabulous job.

A DCUM

Dear DCUM,

Thank you so much for your kind note. I'm sure that other DCUMs, not to mention the DCUM site administrator, are thrilled that you are using this forum to communicate your concerns to us. Rest assured that the emotional well-being of the 8-year-old whom we have selected to participate in Capitol Cotillion is always uppermost in our minds. However, if whether or not your child is picked to dance is an issue for you, perhaps you should consider withdrawing him/her from Capitol Cotillion in order to spare him/her that humiliation.

Just a thought!

Warmly,

Capitol Cotillion Organizers

God I hope this wasn't a real posting from a Cotillion organizer . . .

adding to my own post above, my son would pick her too, but his friend gets her first!

The above poster may have a valid point for their age group, but for ours (5th/6th grade), my son's friend picks an AA girl he knows almost every time.

Not everyone looks at people through a race lens. Thankfully.

Just to add an additional point regarding how kids select their partners, there is an underlying (and a little disturbing) racist culture as well that I have seen. The girls that get picked last are always the African American and Asian American girls. I feel terrible for them. It only makes the atmosphere all the more backwards feeling, provincial, and close minded. I don't know what the best way to deal with this kind of phenomenon is at the dances but it must be terrible for the students of color. I think we live in a fairly progressive state but, perhaps, it is best to promote a warmer and friendlier atmosphere. One that does not allow for this kind of thing to occur. Kids at this age are very sensitive and it breaks my heart to see this type of thing happen. Some people may say "who cares" or "this is natural," but I think as parents and educators we need to reign in behavior that is sometimes natural and understandable (i.e., bullying, being a "mean girl," "teasing" kids that are different, etc etc).

Hey, I learned to waltz at my very crunchy-granola summer camp, so it's not an Ivy League thing at all!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Waltzes in college??? Is this something that they do at Ivies or something?

Yes, it was at an Ivy.

Good to know.

Glad I went to generic public university.

Anonymous wrote:Waltzes in college??? Is this something that they do at Ivies or something?

Yes, it was at an Ivy.

Anonymous wrote:I never heard of cotillion when I was growing up, but I took a few ballroom dancing classes to get ready for waltzes in college and a swing dance in grad school. Those classes and dances were great times, and my partners appreciated that I knew what I was doing well enough to lead them. Later, my wife and I took some classes just for fun before we had kids.

Any man who likes music, physical activity, and the touch of a woman, can enjoy dancing. If a boy has a chance to join cotillion, no mature, knowledgeable person would make fun of him for participating.

Waltzes in college??? Is this something that they do at Ivies or something? I went to generic public college over 15 years ago and not once did "waltzes" ever come up. Ever. And I would not have been impressed in the least if some guy could waltz.

Anonymous wrote:Dear Capitol Cotillion Organizers:

I know you read DCUM. I appreciate what you did the other week, re-structuring things so that the girls who were "left out" given the greater number of girls than boys were then separated out so they were the first one picked for the next dance.

But just so you know, there were a handful of boys who seemed to be regularly picked first, and some regularly picked last. I suppose that's just life. But must the realities of life set in for 8 year olds? Anything you can do to help would be appreciated. Otherwise, I think you are doing a fabulous job.

A DCUM

Dear DCUM,

Thank you so much for your kind note. I'm sure that other DCUMs, not to mention the DCUM site administrator, are thrilled that you are using this forum to communicate your concerns to us. Rest assured that the emotional well-being of the 8-year-old whom we have selected to participate in Capitol Cotillion is always uppermost in our minds. However, if whether or not your child is picked to dance is an issue for you, perhaps you should consider withdrawing him/her from Capitol Cotillion in order to spare him/her that humiliation.

Just a thought!

Warmly,

Capitol Cotillion Organizers

Dear Capitol Cotillion Organizers:

I know you read DCUM. I appreciate what you did the other week, re-structuring things so that the girls who were "left out" given the greater number of girls than boys were then separated out so they were the first one picked for the next dance.

But just so you know, there were a handful of boys who seemed to be regularly picked first, and some regularly picked last. I suppose that's just life. But must the realities of life set in for 8 year olds? Anything you can do to help would be appreciated. Otherwise, I think you are doing a fabulous job.

A DCUM

I find it really amazing that this esoteric thread has gone on for 21 pages and a year and a half.

I find it really sexist that people are only worrying about what the boys think of these cotillions. Not all girls want to be dragged to this stuff either. A lot of young girls are awkward and anxious. The last thing they want to worry about is whether someone will ask them to dance.