Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Refusing these on principle is bizarre.

My kids have each done one sleepover in their lives, I believe. They're not dating as teens and young adults. And my second did have a yearlong carpool at some point.

But we didn't set off to refuse those things. It just happened that way.

Why don't you live your life in a more organic way? You seem extremely mentally rigid.

TBH - I see no value in them while my kids are young. There are many other things that I do for the socialization of my kids, so I don't think they are missing anything but dangerous situations. I do not want to normalize these things or distract them from their academics, ECs, traveling and having fun with similar kids.

In my interactions with American families, I have not walked away with feeling that I want them be around my kids when I am not around. I don't want to do the detective work to find out what the intentions of people around me are especially when it comes to the safety of my children.

My kids and I do have these discussions all the time, and I feel I will be more comfortable when they are adults and able to have their own boundaries.

You're exactly the kind of person that makes Americans wish immigrants would have stayed in their country of origin, and also wonder why they didn't. Congrats.

Totally different poster. Why are you assuming this person is an immigrant?

Do most people refer to "American families" when they talk about friends and neighbors? I'm not American, (well I am now, but not born and raised here) but I never talk about my "American" friends vs whatever other nationality. That's not normal. I agree, she gives immigrants a bad rap. I don't complain about the US (well Trump, but not US in general), nobody is forcing me to live here.

PP's attitude is rampant on DCUM. Some immigrants have a totally transactional view of being in the US. They want to extract whatever wealth and resources they can, while having no interest in assimilation and looking their noses down on Americans. And then they wonder why Americans don't like them,

+1

What’s your point, exactly? If I can maintain my culture while allowing my family to benefit from the resources of the United States, why shouldn’t I?

To add to this, no foreigner ever wonders “why” Americans don’t like them. That’s not actually a question. Everyone already knows the “why.”

I’m sorry your white kid couldn’t get into UVA. Truly I am.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does it bother people if other parents don’t want their underage children having sex? Thats disgusting. They are children. This is the United States. People should have the freedom to believe and do whatever they want.

10 years from now your kid is going to be sitting in therapy because their parent called them disgusting when they found out they had sex at 17 with their also 17 year old boyfriend or girlfriend. That’s was teenagers do. It’s normal, it’s healthy and it’s parents like you that cause kids to grow up having intimacy issues.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Refusing these on principle is bizarre.

My kids have each done one sleepover in their lives, I believe. They're not dating as teens and young adults. And my second did have a yearlong carpool at some point.

But we didn't set off to refuse those things. It just happened that way.

Why don't you live your life in a more organic way? You seem extremely mentally rigid.

TBH - I see no value in them while my kids are young. There are many other things that I do for the socialization of my kids, so I don't think they are missing anything but dangerous situations. I do not want to normalize these things or distract them from their academics, ECs, traveling and having fun with similar kids.

In my interactions with American families, I have not walked away with feeling that I want them be around my kids when I am not around. I don't want to do the detective work to find out what the intentions of people around me are especially when it comes to the safety of my children.

My kids and I do have these discussions all the time, and I feel I will be more comfortable when they are adults and able to have their own boundaries.

Wow.

Why would you live here if you don't like or trust any "American" families or American cultural traditions?

My parents were like this and I guess I can explain it to you as an observer. In a lot of countries/cultures, you don’t befriend everyone. You befriend people who are your caste, from your region, your religion, your socioeconomic level, etc. These aren’t laws set in stone, it’s just the way things are. So when people come to America they naturally gravitate to their own “kind.”

My parents are not going to socialize with “Americans” just like they are not going to socialize with someone from their own country who is on a different social strata. It’s not personal. They simply decline to navigate social differences if they don’t have to.

I don’t know why so many of you are offended by this. People who immigrate go through enough crap, they don’t have to force themselves to befriend you. Their children will assimilate because they grow up in this culture.

And this is my personal experience, Americans tend to be very stingy and guarded. They lack the warmth and generosity you experience in my parents’ culture. Look at this forum for myriad examples. It’s a lot less complicated to make friends in other cultures.

“It’s a lot less complicated to make friends in my home country, and Americans are stingy,” says person from nation with a disgustingly immobile caste system that’s heavily based on colorism

I am not from a country with a caste system. I was using this as an example.

I mean, look at your response. Why would foreigners go out of their way to make friends with you?

Lol do you know how many posters whine here on a daily basis about how they want to be friends with white people but feel like nobody will talk to them because they are racist? Now you're saying it's the other way around?

I personally have never had an issue with wanting to befriend white people.

I’m just seeing the people on this thread who seem incredibly personally offended when someone from another culture says they are not interested in befriending you or having their children absorb your influence.

It is sort of a very white American thing to be so upset about this. White people seem to always want accolades for simply existing. No. Sorry. That’s not how life works.

Now you're just talking out your ass. Crying about racism is pretty upset. You're going to need a thicker skin to make it here.

I’ve been on this forum for long enough to recognize there’s a ton of racism directed to nonwhite people. And honestly, in the age of Trump, POC don’t care anymore. The real crying isn’t coming from POC on this thread.

Whatever you say. You get what you give.

Girl, my dance card is full. Really. I’m not upset by the reality that people are tribal. But it seems VERY upsetting to some.

You’re such a hypocrite. You would have a meltdown if people started attacking your culture. Be brave and name it. I’m sure we can quite easily come up with several massive flaws. I dare you since you’re so not easily upset. Go on.

If you want to see a massive flaw with my culture, you can look in the mirror, because I am American, just like you, whether you like it or not.

I though we were talking about culture. Now you want to talk about nationality?

I grew up in the United States. What culture do you think that is?

You think there is only one culture here? Oh, honey.

I think you really missed my entire point. It wasn’t personal or directed at you but you’re really angry and maybe you need to dig a bit to figure out why.

The stupid has really entered the chat.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Refusing these on principle is bizarre.

My kids have each done one sleepover in their lives, I believe. They're not dating as teens and young adults. And my second did have a yearlong carpool at some point.

But we didn't set off to refuse those things. It just happened that way.

Why don't you live your life in a more organic way? You seem extremely mentally rigid.

TBH - I see no value in them while my kids are young. There are many other things that I do for the socialization of my kids, so I don't think they are missing anything but dangerous situations. I do not want to normalize these things or distract them from their academics, ECs, traveling and having fun with similar kids.

In my interactions with American families, I have not walked away with feeling that I want them be around my kids when I am not around. I don't want to do the detective work to find out what the intentions of people around me are especially when it comes to the safety of my children.

My kids and I do have these discussions all the time, and I feel I will be more comfortable when they are adults and able to have their own boundaries.

Wow.

Why would you live here if you don't like or trust any "American" families or American cultural traditions?

My parents were like this and I guess I can explain it to you as an observer. In a lot of countries/cultures, you don’t befriend everyone. You befriend people who are your caste, from your region, your religion, your socioeconomic level, etc. These aren’t laws set in stone, it’s just the way things are. So when people come to America they naturally gravitate to their own “kind.”

My parents are not going to socialize with “Americans” just like they are not going to socialize with someone from their own country who is on a different social strata. It’s not personal. They simply decline to navigate social differences if they don’t have to.

I don’t know why so many of you are offended by this. People who immigrate go through enough crap, they don’t have to force themselves to befriend you. Their children will assimilate because they grow up in this culture.

And this is my personal experience, Americans tend to be very stingy and guarded. They lack the warmth and generosity you experience in my parents’ culture. Look at this forum for myriad examples. It’s a lot less complicated to make friends in other cultures.

“It’s a lot less complicated to make friends in my home country, and Americans are stingy,” says person from nation with a disgustingly immobile caste system that’s heavily based on colorism

I am not from a country with a caste system. I was using this as an example.

I mean, look at your response. Why would foreigners go out of their way to make friends with you?

Lol do you know how many posters whine here on a daily basis about how they want to be friends with white people but feel like nobody will talk to them because they are racist? Now you're saying it's the other way around?

I personally have never had an issue with wanting to befriend white people.

I’m just seeing the people on this thread who seem incredibly personally offended when someone from another culture says they are not interested in befriending you or having their children absorb your influence.

It is sort of a very white American thing to be so upset about this. White people seem to always want accolades for simply existing. No. Sorry. That’s not how life works.

Now you're just talking out your ass. Crying about racism is pretty upset. You're going to need a thicker skin to make it here.

I’ve been on this forum for long enough to recognize there’s a ton of racism directed to nonwhite people. And honestly, in the age of Trump, POC don’t care anymore. The real crying isn’t coming from POC on this thread.

Whatever you say. You get what you give.

Girl, my dance card is full. Really. I’m not upset by the reality that people are tribal. But it seems VERY upsetting to some.

You’re such a hypocrite. You would have a meltdown if people started attacking your culture. Be brave and name it. I’m sure we can quite easily come up with several massive flaws. I dare you since you’re so not easily upset. Go on.

If you want to see a massive flaw with my culture, you can look in the mirror, because I am American, just like you, whether you like it or not.

I though we were talking about culture. Now you want to talk about nationality?

I grew up in the United States. What culture do you think that is?

You think there is only one culture here? Oh, honey.

I think you really missed my entire point. It wasn’t personal or directed at you but you’re really angry and maybe you need to dig a bit to figure out why.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Refusing these on principle is bizarre.

My kids have each done one sleepover in their lives, I believe. They're not dating as teens and young adults. And my second did have a yearlong carpool at some point.

But we didn't set off to refuse those things. It just happened that way.

Why don't you live your life in a more organic way? You seem extremely mentally rigid.

TBH - I see no value in them while my kids are young. There are many other things that I do for the socialization of my kids, so I don't think they are missing anything but dangerous situations. I do not want to normalize these things or distract them from their academics, ECs, traveling and having fun with similar kids.

In my interactions with American families, I have not walked away with feeling that I want them be around my kids when I am not around. I don't want to do the detective work to find out what the intentions of people around me are especially when it comes to the safety of my children.

My kids and I do have these discussions all the time, and I feel I will be more comfortable when they are adults and able to have their own boundaries.

You're exactly the kind of person that makes Americans wish immigrants would have stayed in their country of origin, and also wonder why they didn't. Congrats.

Totally different poster. Why are you assuming this person is an immigrant?

Do most people refer to "American families" when they talk about friends and neighbors? I'm not American, (well I am now, but not born and raised here) but I never talk about my "American" friends vs whatever other nationality. That's not normal. I agree, she gives immigrants a bad rap. I don't complain about the US (well Trump, but not US in general), nobody is forcing me to live here.

PP's attitude is rampant on DCUM. Some immigrants have a totally transactional view of being in the US. They want to extract whatever wealth and resources they can, while having no interest in assimilation and looking their noses down on Americans. And then they wonder why Americans don't like them,

+1

What’s your point, exactly? If I can maintain my culture while allowing my family to benefit from the resources of the United States, why shouldn’t I?

To add to this, no foreigner ever wonders “why” Americans don’t like them. That’s not actually a question. Everyone already knows the “why.”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Refusing these on principle is bizarre.

My kids have each done one sleepover in their lives, I believe. They're not dating as teens and young adults. And my second did have a yearlong carpool at some point.

But we didn't set off to refuse those things. It just happened that way.

Why don't you live your life in a more organic way? You seem extremely mentally rigid.

TBH - I see no value in them while my kids are young. There are many other things that I do for the socialization of my kids, so I don't think they are missing anything but dangerous situations. I do not want to normalize these things or distract them from their academics, ECs, traveling and having fun with similar kids.

In my interactions with American families, I have not walked away with feeling that I want them be around my kids when I am not around. I don't want to do the detective work to find out what the intentions of people around me are especially when it comes to the safety of my children.

My kids and I do have these discussions all the time, and I feel I will be more comfortable when they are adults and able to have their own boundaries.

Wow.

Why would you live here if you don't like or trust any "American" families or American cultural traditions?

My parents were like this and I guess I can explain it to you as an observer. In a lot of countries/cultures, you don’t befriend everyone. You befriend people who are your caste, from your region, your religion, your socioeconomic level, etc. These aren’t laws set in stone, it’s just the way things are. So when people come to America they naturally gravitate to their own “kind.”

My parents are not going to socialize with “Americans” just like they are not going to socialize with someone from their own country who is on a different social strata. It’s not personal. They simply decline to navigate social differences if they don’t have to.

I don’t know why so many of you are offended by this. People who immigrate go through enough crap, they don’t have to force themselves to befriend you. Their children will assimilate because they grow up in this culture.

And this is my personal experience, Americans tend to be very stingy and guarded. They lack the warmth and generosity you experience in my parents’ culture. Look at this forum for myriad examples. It’s a lot less complicated to make friends in other cultures.

“It’s a lot less complicated to make friends in my home country, and Americans are stingy,” says person from nation with a disgustingly immobile caste system that’s heavily based on colorism

I am not from a country with a caste system. I was using this as an example.

I mean, look at your response. Why would foreigners go out of their way to make friends with you?

Lol do you know how many posters whine here on a daily basis about how they want to be friends with white people but feel like nobody will talk to them because they are racist? Now you're saying it's the other way around?

I personally have never had an issue with wanting to befriend white people.

I’m just seeing the people on this thread who seem incredibly personally offended when someone from another culture says they are not interested in befriending you or having their children absorb your influence.

It is sort of a very white American thing to be so upset about this. White people seem to always want accolades for simply existing. No. Sorry. That’s not how life works.

Now you're just talking out your ass. Crying about racism is pretty upset. You're going to need a thicker skin to make it here.

I’ve been on this forum for long enough to recognize there’s a ton of racism directed to nonwhite people. And honestly, in the age of Trump, POC don’t care anymore. The real crying isn’t coming from POC on this thread.

Whatever you say. You get what you give.

Girl, my dance card is full. Really. I’m not upset by the reality that people are tribal. But it seems VERY upsetting to some.

You’re such a hypocrite. You would have a meltdown if people started attacking your culture. Be brave and name it. I’m sure we can quite easily come up with several massive flaws. I dare you since you’re so not easily upset. Go on.

If you want to see a massive flaw with my culture, you can look in the mirror, because I am American, just like you, whether you like it or not.

I though we were talking about culture. Now you want to talk about nationality?

I grew up in the United States. What culture do you think that is?

You think there is only one culture here? Oh, honey.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Refusing these on principle is bizarre.

My kids have each done one sleepover in their lives, I believe. They're not dating as teens and young adults. And my second did have a yearlong carpool at some point.

But we didn't set off to refuse those things. It just happened that way.

Why don't you live your life in a more organic way? You seem extremely mentally rigid.

TBH - I see no value in them while my kids are young. There are many other things that I do for the socialization of my kids, so I don't think they are missing anything but dangerous situations. I do not want to normalize these things or distract them from their academics, ECs, traveling and having fun with similar kids.

In my interactions with American families, I have not walked away with feeling that I want them be around my kids when I am not around. I don't want to do the detective work to find out what the intentions of people around me are especially when it comes to the safety of my children.

My kids and I do have these discussions all the time, and I feel I will be more comfortable when they are adults and able to have their own boundaries.

You're exactly the kind of person that makes Americans wish immigrants would have stayed in their country of origin, and also wonder why they didn't. Congrats.

Totally different poster. Why are you assuming this person is an immigrant?

DP. Because they're slamming Americans...

Plenty of Americans slam Americans. You must be very limited.

People on this board get very butt hurt when they sense foreigners are looking down at them. I guess it is insecurity or resentment that someone doesn’t come to America and feel beholden to the people who are already here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does it bother people if other parents don’t want their underage children having sex? Thats disgusting. They are children. This is the United States. People should have the freedom to believe and do whatever they want.

10 years from now your kid is going to be sitting in therapy because their parent called them disgusting when they found out they had sex at 17 with their also 17 year old boyfriend or girlfriend. That’s was teenagers do. It’s normal, it’s healthy and it’s parents like you that cause kids to grow up having intimacy issues.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get why out of all things, the preventing dating/sex thing is the biggest problem. Who wants their teen kids having sex? Most UMC white parents do not. So why judge immigrants for not letting their kids date?

Because it’s simply not preventable. You can talk to your kids about how you “forbid” it all day long. It’s much more predictive to make sure your kids know hot to be smart and safe about it if/when they may choose to engage in sex. Unless you lock your kids in the house and never let them out, they will find a way if they want to.

My husband grew up in another culture. There was a little bit of dating in high school but most people here would consider it very, very innocent. Then in college people generally paired up. It’s not this absurd thing to expect high school kids not to date.

Anonymous wrote:Why does it bother people if other parents don’t want their underage children having sex? Thats disgusting. They are children. This is the United States. People should have the freedom to believe and do whatever they want.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Refusing these on principle is bizarre.

My kids have each done one sleepover in their lives, I believe. They're not dating as teens and young adults. And my second did have a yearlong carpool at some point.

But we didn't set off to refuse those things. It just happened that way.

Why don't you live your life in a more organic way? You seem extremely mentally rigid.

TBH - I see no value in them while my kids are young. There are many other things that I do for the socialization of my kids, so I don't think they are missing anything but dangerous situations. I do not want to normalize these things or distract them from their academics, ECs, traveling and having fun with similar kids.

In my interactions with American families, I have not walked away with feeling that I want them be around my kids when I am not around. I don't want to do the detective work to find out what the intentions of people around me are especially when it comes to the safety of my children.

My kids and I do have these discussions all the time, and I feel I will be more comfortable when they are adults and able to have their own boundaries.

You're exactly the kind of person that makes Americans wish immigrants would have stayed in their country of origin, and also wonder why they didn't. Congrats.

Totally different poster. Why are you assuming this person is an immigrant?

Do most people refer to "American families" when they talk about friends and neighbors? I'm not American, (well I am now, but not born and raised here) but I never talk about my "American" friends vs whatever other nationality. That's not normal. I agree, she gives immigrants a bad rap. I don't complain about the US (well Trump, but not US in general), nobody is forcing me to live here.

PP's attitude is rampant on DCUM. Some immigrants have a totally transactional view of being in the US. They want to extract whatever wealth and resources they can, while having no interest in assimilation and looking their noses down on Americans. And then they wonder why Americans don't like them,

+1

What’s your point, exactly? If I can maintain my culture while allowing my family to benefit from the resources of the United States, why shouldn’t I?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Refusing these on principle is bizarre.

My kids have each done one sleepover in their lives, I believe. They're not dating as teens and young adults. And my second did have a yearlong carpool at some point.

But we didn't set off to refuse those things. It just happened that way.

Why don't you live your life in a more organic way? You seem extremely mentally rigid.

TBH - I see no value in them while my kids are young. There are many other things that I do for the socialization of my kids, so I don't think they are missing anything but dangerous situations. I do not want to normalize these things or distract them from their academics, ECs, traveling and having fun with similar kids.

In my interactions with American families, I have not walked away with feeling that I want them be around my kids when I am not around. I don't want to do the detective work to find out what the intentions of people around me are especially when it comes to the safety of my children.

My kids and I do have these discussions all the time, and I feel I will be more comfortable when they are adults and able to have their own boundaries.

Wow.

Why would you live here if you don't like or trust any "American" families or American cultural traditions?

My parents were like this and I guess I can explain it to you as an observer. In a lot of countries/cultures, you don’t befriend everyone. You befriend people who are your caste, from your region, your religion, your socioeconomic level, etc. These aren’t laws set in stone, it’s just the way things are. So when people come to America they naturally gravitate to their own “kind.”

My parents are not going to socialize with “Americans” just like they are not going to socialize with someone from their own country who is on a different social strata. It’s not personal. They simply decline to navigate social differences if they don’t have to.

I don’t know why so many of you are offended by this. People who immigrate go through enough crap, they don’t have to force themselves to befriend you. Their children will assimilate because they grow up in this culture.

And this is my personal experience, Americans tend to be very stingy and guarded. They lack the warmth and generosity you experience in my parents’ culture. Look at this forum for myriad examples. It’s a lot less complicated to make friends in other cultures.

“It’s a lot less complicated to make friends in my home country, and Americans are stingy,” says person from nation with a disgustingly immobile caste system that’s heavily based on colorism

I am not from a country with a caste system. I was using this as an example.

I mean, look at your response. Why would foreigners go out of their way to make friends with you?

Lol do you know how many posters whine here on a daily basis about how they want to be friends with white people but feel like nobody will talk to them because they are racist? Now you're saying it's the other way around?

I personally have never had an issue with wanting to befriend white people.

I’m just seeing the people on this thread who seem incredibly personally offended when someone from another culture says they are not interested in befriending you or having their children absorb your influence.

It is sort of a very white American thing to be so upset about this. White people seem to always want accolades for simply existing. No. Sorry. That’s not how life works.

Now you're just talking out your ass. Crying about racism is pretty upset. You're going to need a thicker skin to make it here.

I’ve been on this forum for long enough to recognize there’s a ton of racism directed to nonwhite people. And honestly, in the age of Trump, POC don’t care anymore. The real crying isn’t coming from POC on this thread.

Whatever you say. You get what you give.

Girl, my dance card is full. Really. I’m not upset by the reality that people are tribal. But it seems VERY upsetting to some.

You’re such a hypocrite. You would have a meltdown if people started attacking your culture. Be brave and name it. I’m sure we can quite easily come up with several massive flaws. I dare you since you’re so not easily upset. Go on.

If you want to see a massive flaw with my culture, you can look in the mirror, because I am American, just like you, whether you like it or not.

I though we were talking about culture. Now you want to talk about nationality?

I grew up in the United States. What culture do you think that is?