Anonymous
08/23/2025 03:54
Subject: Husband annoyed at taking his injured daughter to urgent care
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
Because he has a wife to pick up the slack. He takes the path of least resistance. OP doesn’t have a lot of good choices. If she divorces she still has to quit breastfeeding the toddler because it will be all on her to take both kids to the ER next time. Breast milk and rigid bedtime routines be damned.
NP
" rigid bedtime routines" What's that mean?
A routine that allows only one parent to perform it.
She's breastfeeding. But I'm sure this guy is totally dying to perform the nighttime routine and it's mean mommy who devised this plot to alienate him from the kids, since he's such a loving, patient father.
Breastfeeding a toddler is a choice, not a necessity. This mean mommy had not one but two kids with this man. What was she thinking?
Do you know how babies are made? The man has a part in it.
Sure but do you see the one complaining here? Her husband has a good paying cushy job. OP benefits by being a SAHM. She could just go get a job, earn her own money and kick him out. But what she’s going to do is keep complaining to anyone who listens about her poor choices. My mom lived a whole life doing this and died a bitter unhappy woman.
Easy peasy
Much easier for a woman whose oldest child is 6. Presumably she had a job before, no? Do you think it’s easier for a woman with teens? Imagine how this plays out over time. I have a pretty good idea, having seen it first hand.
My SIL did this when her kids were 6 and 2 and was murdered by her STBEx. Nothing easy about it.
Pardon my reading comprehension but are you saying your own brother killed his wife (your SIL)?
Or her husband's brother killed his wife. But yeah, there's a story there, buried in one line of this long thread. RIP PP's SIL.
It was husband's sister that was killed.
Anonymous
08/23/2025 00:01
Subject: Husband annoyed at taking his injured daughter to urgent care
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:So OP is a SAHM and she makes her DH get up in the night for a nosebleed????
I am trying to imagine being married to a man so wimpy and delicate that he couldn’t do that without issue. Omg.
Needing sleep is a standard issue requirement for all adults. The one who has to drag his ass out of bed and be presentable at work is the one who gets to have an issue with getting up for a nosebleed when the SAHP should be able to handle it herself.
Funny how nobody cared about me needing to drag my ass out of bed and be presentable at work when I was a new mom.
lol right?? Somehow moms who literally gave birth and nursed around the clock fewer than three months ago are routinely able and expected to get to work.
I mean also my Dad came home from those monster ober 24 hour medical resident shifts and still played with us and did Dad stuff. Who are these weak men who can't deal with a bloody nose at night? Pathetic.
Some people never develop distress tolerance. These behaviors get passed down through generations. If your parents didnt' demonstrate an ability to deal with something like a bloody nose in the middle of the night, where will you learn? I had to learn it as an adult through therapy and reading books and observing other people and practicing. It sucks. But I did so before becoming a parent.
Anonymous
08/22/2025 23:58
Subject: Husband annoyed at taking his injured daughter to urgent care
One of my DH's formative memories is of getting yelled at by his dad when DH woke up with a stomach bug in the middle of the night and was throwing up all over. He told me about it before we became parents and we talked about how we didn't want to be parents who lost control like that. You have to accept that sometimes parenting is inconvenient and you will wind up taking care of a child when you are tired or hungry or otherwise physically uncomfortable. That's the gig.
I wonder if OP's DH could spend some time thinking about his own upbringing. How did his parents respond when he was sick or had other urgent needs at inconvenient times? How did that make him feel?
I wonder if OP's DH could spend some time thinking about his own upbringing. How did his parents respond when he was sick or had other urgent needs at inconvenient times? How did that make him feel?
Anonymous
08/22/2025 23:47
Subject: Husband annoyed at taking his injured daughter to urgent care
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
Because he has a wife to pick up the slack. He takes the path of least resistance. OP doesn’t have a lot of good choices. If she divorces she still has to quit breastfeeding the toddler because it will be all on her to take both kids to the ER next time. Breast milk and rigid bedtime routines be damned.
NP
" rigid bedtime routines" What's that mean?
A routine that allows only one parent to perform it.
She's breastfeeding. But I'm sure this guy is totally dying to perform the nighttime routine and it's mean mommy who devised this plot to alienate him from the kids, since he's such a loving, patient father.
Breastfeeding a toddler is a choice, not a necessity. This mean mommy had not one but two kids with this man. What was she thinking?
Do you know how babies are made? The man has a part in it.
Sure but do you see the one complaining here? Her husband has a good paying cushy job. OP benefits by being a SAHM. She could just go get a job, earn her own money and kick him out. But what she’s going to do is keep complaining to anyone who listens about her poor choices. My mom lived a whole life doing this and died a bitter unhappy woman.
Easy peasy
Much easier for a woman whose oldest child is 6. Presumably she had a job before, no? Do you think it’s easier for a woman with teens? Imagine how this plays out over time. I have a pretty good idea, having seen it first hand.
My SIL did this when her kids were 6 and 2 and was murdered by her STBEx. Nothing easy about it.
Pardon my reading comprehension but are you saying your own brother killed his wife (your SIL)?
Or her husband's brother killed his wife. But yeah, there's a story there, buried in one line of this long thread. RIP PP's SIL.
Anonymous
08/22/2025 23:12
Subject: Husband annoyed at taking his injured daughter to urgent care
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:So OP is a SAHM and she makes her DH get up in the night for a nosebleed????
I am trying to imagine being married to a man so wimpy and delicate that he couldn’t do that without issue. Omg.
Needing sleep is a standard issue requirement for all adults. The one who has to drag his ass out of bed and be presentable at work is the one who gets to have an issue with getting up for a nosebleed when the SAHP should be able to handle it herself.
Funny how nobody cared about me needing to drag my ass out of bed and be presentable at work when I was a new mom.
lol right?? Somehow moms who literally gave birth and nursed around the clock fewer than three months ago are routinely able and expected to get to work.
I mean also my Dad came home from those monster ober 24 hour medical resident shifts and still played with us and did Dad stuff. Who are these weak men who can't deal with a bloody nose at night? Pathetic.
Anonymous
08/22/2025 23:11
Subject: Husband annoyed at taking his injured daughter to urgent care
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
Because he has a wife to pick up the slack. He takes the path of least resistance. OP doesn’t have a lot of good choices. If she divorces she still has to quit breastfeeding the toddler because it will be all on her to take both kids to the ER next time. Breast milk and rigid bedtime routines be damned.
NP
" rigid bedtime routines" What's that mean?
A routine that allows only one parent to perform it.
She's breastfeeding. But I'm sure this guy is totally dying to perform the nighttime routine and it's mean mommy who devised this plot to alienate him from the kids, since he's such a loving, patient father.
Breastfeeding a toddler is a choice, not a necessity. This mean mommy had not one but two kids with this man. What was she thinking?
Do you know how babies are made? The man has a part in it.
Sure but do you see the one complaining here? Her husband has a good paying cushy job. OP benefits by being a SAHM. She could just go get a job, earn her own money and kick him out. But what she’s going to do is keep complaining to anyone who listens about her poor choices. My mom lived a whole life doing this and died a bitter unhappy woman.
Easy peasy
Much easier for a woman whose oldest child is 6. Presumably she had a job before, no? Do you think it’s easier for a woman with teens? Imagine how this plays out over time. I have a pretty good idea, having seen it first hand.
My SIL did this when her kids were 6 and 2 and was murdered by her STBEx. Nothing easy about it.
Pardon my reading comprehension but are you saying your own brother killed his wife (your SIL)?
Anonymous
08/22/2025 23:07
Subject: Husband annoyed at taking his injured daughter to urgent care
Anonymous wrote:Troll OP post
Noooo don’t tell me I got sucked in again
Anonymous
08/22/2025 23:05
Subject: Husband annoyed at taking his injured daughter to urgent care
Troll OP post
Anonymous
08/22/2025 23:04
Subject: Husband annoyed at taking his injured daughter to urgent care
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:So OP is a SAHM and she makes her DH get up in the night for a nosebleed????
I am trying to imagine being married to a man so wimpy and delicate that he couldn’t do that without issue. Omg.
Needing sleep is a standard issue requirement for all adults. The one who has to drag his ass out of bed and be presentable at work is the one who gets to have an issue with getting up for a nosebleed when the SAHP should be able to handle it herself.
Funny how nobody cared about me needing to drag my ass out of bed and be presentable at work when I was a new mom.
lol right?? Somehow moms who literally gave birth and nursed around the clock fewer than three months ago are routinely able and expected to get to work.
Anonymous
08/22/2025 23:01
Subject: Re:Husband annoyed at taking his injured daughter to urgent care
Anonymous wrote:OP my husband can be like this but it has gotten better in the last two years. My breaking point came when our kid, who was 5 at the time, was diagnosed with ARFID which is an eating disorder that presents as "picky eating" but is actually serious -- she would gag on food or throw it up due to the smell or texture of it, and she was not trying to be picky but could not control her aversion. It was and still is a very hard thing to parent through, but DH made it much worse because he'd blow up at her for not eating even after she'd been diagnosed and we'd learned that conflict and confrontation over eating would only make it worse. When he did this I'd feel so abandoned because I was also very frustrated but working really hard to control it so I could give her what she needed, and he wasn't even trying. So my efforts were for nothing and she was getting more and more stressed about food anyway.
Here's what helped:
1) I point it out, but do so later when things are calm. So if he blew up at her at dinner, in the moment I would either ignore him or just say "I'll handle it," address DD's needs, and move on. But then after the kids were in bed, I'd turn off the TV and explain calmly that it sucks for me to have to be the functional parent in those moments, and that what I really want is a partner to go through it with me, instead of another person whose emotions I have to manage. I really worked to not get overly critical or blaming in these talks. I used lots of "I" statements and explained why the situation was hard for me or what I wish I got from him, instead of saying "you do this, you do that." That helped him hear me better.
2) He went to therapy and worked on anger management. This is critical. It could be therapy, a meditation practice, a parenting class. Just anything to show he's working on it. I remember at one point talking to my DH about this and he said "I just don't handle stress well," and I pointed out that there's no way for me to eliminate stress from our lives and that it's unfair for him to expect to be exempt from the stress of being a working, middle class parent while I take it all on. That helped him realize that every time he just can't deal with a situation, that's yet another thing I have to do. That's when he started to realize this was a problem he needed to solve and not a "take it or leave it" situation. I didn't threaten divorce, but I did tell him that it was very hard for me to imagine spending the next 40-50 years of my life with someone who simply cannot handle stress, because I expect there to be some stress during that time.
3) As my kids got older, I got them involved. I guess this could be controversial, but the truth is my kids are pretty emotionally intelligent and good at naming their feelings and talking through how to deal with them. But my older kid definitely struggles with blowing up when she gets frustrated, and IMO that has to be addressed head on. So as I worked with her to build up her tolerance for frustration or distress, I used situations with DH and I as examples and she started calling out DH when he did exactly the thing she was working on getting better at. This was hard at first but then great. Sometimes DH and DD will get upset with each other and have a little mini tantrum (not as bad as they once were) but then they will come together, apologize, and talk about what the each could have done better. Without any prompting from me. It was great.
I’m so glad it improved for you (not being sarcastic). my xDH probably would have ended up punching me if I tried any of those tactics. At the beginning I felt like maybe there was some approach I could take so he would listen to me but any attempt at having the sorts of convos you describe ended up in him denying, telling me I was the crazy one, refusing to discuss it, etc. I eventually accepted that even if there were some magic words I would never find them.
Anonymous
08/22/2025 21:17
Subject: Husband annoyed at taking his injured daughter to urgent care
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:So OP is a SAHM and she makes her DH get up in the night for a nosebleed????
I am trying to imagine being married to a man so wimpy and delicate that he couldn’t do that without issue. Omg.
Needing sleep is a standard issue requirement for all adults. The one who has to drag his ass out of bed and be presentable at work is the one who gets to have an issue with getting up for a nosebleed when the SAHP should be able to handle it herself.
Funny how nobody cared about me needing to drag my ass out of bed and be presentable at work when I was a new mom.
Who are you? Did you post here about your sleep problems and no one cared? Or are you bringing up completely irrelevant stuff because you are still upset?
I posted because the norm is for new moms to go back to work sleep deprived, while men act like this is impossible and inappropriate to expect of them.
I WOH. If I were married to a SAHP, I would never expect them to be on duty literally 24/7 while I work my 8 hours with 16 hour breaks in between. That is not a thing when you are a parent whether you WOH or SAHP.
Sounds like your male friends are jerks.
Anonymous
08/22/2025 20:34
Subject: Re:Husband annoyed at taking his injured daughter to urgent care
This thread has gone off the rails…
No, it isn’t normal or OK for a parent to yell and curse at a toddler because he/she woke up with a nosebleed.
No, it isn’t normal or OK for a parent to get angry about needing to take a child to urgent care (when the pediatrician has said they should be seen)- and angry to the point they are slamming doors etc.
Breastfeeding debates or SAHM debates really do not factor in on this one, as much as DCUM posters love to debate such issues.
There is something seriously wrong with a parent who is yelling and cursing at small children, slamming doors etc (particularly if this is occurring on more than one occasion, and particularly if this is about health or medical things beyond any reasonable control).
Seems very likely there is a mental health issue. Either that, or the DH is just a total POS. OP- this behavior will damage your children’s well being if it is not corrected ASAP
No, it isn’t normal or OK for a parent to yell and curse at a toddler because he/she woke up with a nosebleed.
No, it isn’t normal or OK for a parent to get angry about needing to take a child to urgent care (when the pediatrician has said they should be seen)- and angry to the point they are slamming doors etc.
Breastfeeding debates or SAHM debates really do not factor in on this one, as much as DCUM posters love to debate such issues.
There is something seriously wrong with a parent who is yelling and cursing at small children, slamming doors etc (particularly if this is occurring on more than one occasion, and particularly if this is about health or medical things beyond any reasonable control).
Seems very likely there is a mental health issue. Either that, or the DH is just a total POS. OP- this behavior will damage your children’s well being if it is not corrected ASAP
Anonymous
08/22/2025 20:11
Subject: Husband annoyed at taking his injured daughter to urgent care
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:So OP is a SAHM and she makes her DH get up in the night for a nosebleed????
I am trying to imagine being married to a man so wimpy and delicate that he couldn’t do that without issue. Omg.
Needing sleep is a standard issue requirement for all adults. The one who has to drag his ass out of bed and be presentable at work is the one who gets to have an issue with getting up for a nosebleed when the SAHP should be able to handle it herself.
Funny how nobody cared about me needing to drag my ass out of bed and be presentable at work when I was a new mom.
Who are you? Did you post here about your sleep problems and no one cared? Or are you bringing up completely irrelevant stuff because you are still upset?
I posted because the norm is for new moms to go back to work sleep deprived, while men act like this is impossible and inappropriate to expect of them.
I WOH. If I were married to a SAHP, I would never expect them to be on duty literally 24/7 while I work my 8 hours with 16 hour breaks in between. That is not a thing when you are a parent whether you WOH or SAHP.
Anonymous
08/22/2025 20:10
Subject: Husband annoyed at taking his injured daughter to urgent care
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
Because he has a wife to pick up the slack. He takes the path of least resistance. OP doesn’t have a lot of good choices. If she divorces she still has to quit breastfeeding the toddler because it will be all on her to take both kids to the ER next time. Breast milk and rigid bedtime routines be damned.
NP
" rigid bedtime routines" What's that mean?
A routine that allows only one parent to perform it.
She's breastfeeding. But I'm sure this guy is totally dying to perform the nighttime routine and it's mean mommy who devised this plot to alienate him from the kids, since he's such a loving, patient father.
Breastfeeding a toddler is a choice, not a necessity. This mean mommy had not one but two kids with this man. What was she thinking?
Do you know how babies are made? The man has a part in it.
Sure but do you see the one complaining here? Her husband has a good paying cushy job. OP benefits by being a SAHM. She could just go get a job, earn her own money and kick him out. But what she’s going to do is keep complaining to anyone who listens about her poor choices. My mom lived a whole life doing this and died a bitter unhappy woman.
Easy peasy
Much easier for a woman whose oldest child is 6. Presumably she had a job before, no? Do you think it’s easier for a woman with teens? Imagine how this plays out over time. I have a pretty good idea, having seen it first hand.
My SIL did this when her kids were 6 and 2 and was murdered by her STBEx. Nothing easy about it.
Strange that divorce rates are so high if exes murder each other before it happens.
OP's husband has a rage issue.
He’s just as likely to be happy that the annoying kids are gone.
Anonymous
08/22/2025 20:05
Subject: Husband annoyed at taking his injured daughter to urgent care
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
Because he has a wife to pick up the slack. He takes the path of least resistance. OP doesn’t have a lot of good choices. If she divorces she still has to quit breastfeeding the toddler because it will be all on her to take both kids to the ER next time. Breast milk and rigid bedtime routines be damned.
NP
" rigid bedtime routines" What's that mean?
A routine that allows only one parent to perform it.
She's breastfeeding. But I'm sure this guy is totally dying to perform the nighttime routine and it's mean mommy who devised this plot to alienate him from the kids, since he's such a loving, patient father.
Breastfeeding a toddler is a choice, not a necessity. This mean mommy had not one but two kids with this man. What was she thinking?
Do you know how babies are made? The man has a part in it.
Sure but do you see the one complaining here? Her husband has a good paying cushy job. OP benefits by being a SAHM. She could just go get a job, earn her own money and kick him out. But what she’s going to do is keep complaining to anyone who listens about her poor choices. My mom lived a whole life doing this and died a bitter unhappy woman.
Easy peasy
Much easier for a woman whose oldest child is 6. Presumably she had a job before, no? Do you think it’s easier for a woman with teens? Imagine how this plays out over time. I have a pretty good idea, having seen it first hand.
My SIL did this when her kids were 6 and 2 and was murdered by her STBEx. Nothing easy about it.
Strange that divorce rates are so high if exes murder each other before it happens.
OP's husband has a rage issue.