Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Normal teenage summer jobs like scooping ice cream, waiting tables, bagging groceries have taken a backseat to formal summer programs, summer research, pre-professional internships, etc.

I was the rare outlier who made my kid work in the summers. Flash forward five years and many of the coddled high income DC private school kids are back at home, having graduated from Tufts, Tulane, Bryn Mawr, and similar, applying to law school. My kid is making six figures first year out of college. Employers want kids with diverse experiences, who are humble and polite, and who understand the work environment.

Anonymous wrote:We thought she made a really safe choice for ED and still got deferred, which I'm pretty sure will turn into a rejection.

It's more competitive than I ever even allowed myself to think. And I was pretty well informed.

I understand why so many kids apply early to and easy admit school and just call it a day.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was surprised how mean and judgmental people can be about other people’s kids. Adult snark is one thing, mocking teenagers quite another. Regardless of the anonymous nature of this forum, I don’t understand why anyone feels the need to belittle a high schooler’s character, intellect, or choice of ECs, college, major, etc.

I admit anonymously to being overly harsh about a few kids who appear to have waltzed into tippy top schools to play sports but have not done anything close to the academic work my kid and friends have done (many of whom are still waiting for decisions).

There are a lot of students who are top academics. They aren’t rare. Talented athletes are rare so they are sought after. Sports are big money in this country. The universities make quite a bit of money from their athletes. There’s no point in getting upset.

I wonder how the new anti-DEI reality will filter down to women's sports in college. Women's sports are not big money and alumnae tend not to be big donors to their old schools/ teams as men. Will women athletes continue to get the same thumb on the scale in applications?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Normal teenage summer jobs like scooping ice cream, waiting tables, bagging groceries have taken a backseat to formal summer programs, summer research, pre-professional internships, etc.

I was the rare outlier who made my kid work in the summers. Flash forward five years and many of the coddled high income DC private school kids are back at home, having graduated from Tufts, Tulane, Bryn Mawr, and similar, applying to law school. My kid is making six figures first year out of college. Employers want kids with diverse experiences, who are humble and polite, and who understand the work environment.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. Where you go to grad/professional school is more important than where you go to college for career trajectory.

2. Mental health going into college is key for freshman year to go well. Do not go to college burned out or on fumes. Being emotionally stable and strong and going to a medium prestige school is better long-term than obsessively chasing high stats to chase a high prestige school.

3. We the parents are the clients, not the colleges. We don't need to say "how high?" when colleges say "jump". Put your kid and what they want ahead of the college you want for your own ego.

4. The goal is happiness, emotional stability and self-actualization for you kid. Nothing more, nothing less.

Less than half of college students go to grad school. Kids don’t always follow their parent’s route. You only mention “prestigious “ colleges. Not every student goes to a big name prestige school. You’re claiming to put your child’s well-being first above all but I’m not sure you’re being honest.

Anonymous wrote:Don’t waste your money on a college counselor, instead save your money and find a smart college student to review essays . At the school you’re applying. Works wonders they know about the programs. And how to make the why my school stand out

Anonymous wrote:Normal teenage summer jobs like scooping ice cream, waiting tables, bagging groceries have taken a backseat to formal summer programs, summer research, pre-professional internships, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Admission is much easier for boys then girls even when major is accounted for.
My girl boy twins have seen this play out with them and their friends.

Gosh especially true this year. Wow it’s so noticeable.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Life outside the MD/DC/VA bubble is very, very different.

In our highly rated public school in a suburb of a smallish city, only 15-20% of kids, at most, are even considering T10 schools. Most are looking at the various state schools and mid-tier privates within a 4-6 hour drive, at most.

It’s a very different world than the DV area. Less of a pressure cooker. But also less information and help available locally. And our school is certainly not a “pipeline” to any T25. But our top kids with top credentials have done well over the years. Fingers crossed for the classes of 2025 and 2026.

This is extremely dependent on where you are. Suburban Texas, Bay Area, New York, Miami and Boston Suburbs are much worse than the DMV.

Wow. You have knowledge/experience with a number of places. I need to get out more

Anonymous wrote:Admission is much easier for boys then girls even when major is accounted for.
My girl boy twins have seen this play out with them and their friends.

Anonymous wrote:Admission is much easier for boys then girls even when major is accounted for.
My girl boy twins have seen this play out with them and their friends.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Brainy kids who seek a plurality of peers can look well outside a college. Just like these kids did in high school- the truly exceptional ones. My one student is the typical smart kid, math competitions and CTY in elementary- some "fun" enrichment outside of his school. Online groups for fancy origami, chess with adults in the community center in high school. These things are all available outside of college as well. That kid may not have done well in rural Minnesota, but Pitt? Sure. Stevens? Absolutely. And he is not the brainy one.
My brainy one- graduated from an IVY. Also looked beyond the scope of in-school peers/clubs/groups for things that interested her: theater. Had applied to a small LAC as a safety knowing she would find or create what she is looking for. And where she started and where she ended in terms of interest/career was all guided by works she did outside of school and after time abroad, not because of anything gained by being in a pool of "brainy" kids.
There are smart kids at most schools- many of them. My bet is that most kids are not quite as genius level as parents believe them to be...many of us make that assumption. Of course some schools are better fits than others. But a less rejective school doesn't mean that there will not be intellectual engagement.

Yes, brainy kids can do this. My DC may well have to, and I imagine it will foster creativity and resilience. However, if one can't expect for an intellectual enviroment of peers AT A UNIVERSITY, that's a bummer.

I'm not just talking smart here -- lots of smart kids (and adults) are not intellectual. Their lives are no less rich and valuable.

I work in universities, and have worked at a T20 and a top 40 SLAC. There was much less intellectual engagement at the T40 SLAC. Doesn't mean there wasn't ANY intellectual engagement, but it would have been sub-optimal for my kid.

Much in life is sub-optimal, and making the best of things is an important skill. But being in an environment that allows one's best self to flourish is what we want for our kids, no? I don't think my kid needs a T10 to thrive, but I do think that being at a non-selective school wouldn't be as exciting or fun for her. Anything in the T40 range would probably be a good target -- but lots of T20-40 schools yield protect.

Not sure how I feel about this. My kid is similar high stats and brainy. I was too and going to a T5 college was life changing for me - the first time I could be around peers who thought like me. I would like this for my DC, who will be applying next year.

But later on I lived in a group house with several people who had met at an honors college at a state school. They were just as intellectual as what I found at the T5. Their parents were not wealthy enough to send them to T5 schools so they never even bothered to apply. And in adult life I’ve found the same as well. There are plenty of quite intelligent people who didn’t go to fancy schools.

But that was a different era when where you applied to college wasn’t so obsessively considered, and elite colleges weren’t as accessible by middle class and below income families. I can see that now maybe it’s not as random where people end up. So I’m thoughtful about the PP mentioning it’s not as intellectual an environment at a T40 as at a T20. I’d imagine that the size of school matters too - maybe at a big state school there’s still more likelihood of finding one’s intellectual tribe rather than at a similarly ranked SLAC?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Brainy kids who seek a plurality of peers can look well outside a college. Just like these kids did in high school- the truly exceptional ones. My one student is the typical smart kid, math competitions and CTY in elementary- some "fun" enrichment outside of his school. Online groups for fancy origami, chess with adults in the community center in high school. These things are all available outside of college as well. That kid may not have done well in rural Minnesota, but Pitt? Sure. Stevens? Absolutely. And he is not the brainy one.
My brainy one- graduated from an IVY. Also looked beyond the scope of in-school peers/clubs/groups for things that interested her: theater. Had applied to a small LAC as a safety knowing she would find or create what she is looking for. And where she started and where she ended in terms of interest/career was all guided by works she did outside of school and after time abroad, not because of anything gained by being in a pool of "brainy" kids.
There are smart kids at most schools- many of them. My bet is that most kids are not quite as genius level as parents believe them to be...many of us make that assumption. Of course some schools are better fits than others. But a less rejective school doesn't mean that there will not be intellectual engagement.

Yes, brainy kids can do this. My DC may well have to, and I imagine it will foster creativity and resilience. However, if one can't expect for an intellectual enviroment of peers AT A UNIVERSITY, that's a bummer.

I'm not just talking smart here -- lots of smart kids (and adults) are not intellectual. Their lives are no less rich and valuable.

I work in universities, and have worked at a T20 and a top 40 SLAC. There was much less intellectual engagement at the T40 SLAC. Doesn't mean there wasn't ANY intellectual engagement, but it would have been sub-optimal for my kid.

Much in life is sub-optimal, and making the best of things is an important skill. But being in an environment that allows one's best self to flourish is what we want for our kids, no? I don't think my kid needs a T10 to thrive, but I do think that being at a non-selective school wouldn't be as exciting or fun for her. Anything in the T40 range would probably be a good target -- but lots of T20-40 schools yield protect.